Lights: Well, here I am at the ski lodge, with the shittiest wi-fi at best *silently cries into breakfast cereal* But that won't stop the Tailgate shenanigans! *Continues sobbing*

Zombie: Holy moly, if you're at a ski lodge enjoy yourself!

Lights: Well, I WAS. About TWO WEEKS AGO.

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Tailgate looked out over at the bridge, optics wide.

He'd never encountered such a large ship, the Peaceful Tyranny being only average in size scale. The Lost Light was capable of fitting a crew of 200 or more.

Swerve clapped Tailgate on the back. "Alright tiny ancient man! It's time to hustle over to the nearest Decepticon settlement!"

Tailgate blinked. "What? Why?"

"Why not?" Swerve chuckled.

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"All that remains for me to say is…"

Tailgate pointed both forefingers fingers up, awaiting dramatically for the anticipated words.

"Here it comes." Swerve whispered.

"'Til all are one!"

Sitting at the back with Swerve, Tailgate shifted nervously. Quiet, but still with an air of desperation.

What would Tarn say to Tailgate if he were in his pedes? That he shouldn't betray his comrades? That he was a filthy traitor? But Tailgate didn't have a choice! Did that count..?

"Nervous, Tailgate?"

Tailgate let out a shaky sigh. "I guess you could say that. What's your secret Swerve? How do you stay so calm?"

"Simple, my dear Tailgate: I focus on a perfect moment in my life and re-live it over and over. It's an old relaxation technique."

Tailgate suddenly recollected when exactly he had heard that phrase. "That's the Rungian Re-Experience Therapy! You go to your happy place!"

"So do that; think back to the happiest time in your life - partying with the DJD, squishing traitors' helms in, whatever- and re-live it. Can you do that?"

Tailgate sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Doing it now." He mumbled.

Closing his eyes, he imagined he was back within the Peaceful Tyranny, sitting with Tarn and studying the works of Megatron. Tarn had a nice laugh when he was genuine.

Oh look at that.

He was relaxed now.

Huh.

Tailgate turned toward Swerve. "Thanks."

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"Thoughts, Tailgate?" Swerve inquired to Tailgate.

The battle raged beneath them, while the minibots hid behind a cliff ledge.

Tailgate shrugged. "A bit full-on, but I wouldn't say it's anything to be concerned about yet."

Swerve gave him an odd look, but shook it off. "C'mon, we're supposed to be sneaking into their base…"

Tailgate nodded. "But let's find Rewind first. I heard he's stuck with Whirl at the moment."

Swerve gave a grimace. "Ew."

They two soon spotted Rewind, hanging back from Whirl as the former Wrecker gleefully slashed and shot 'Cons at random. Tailgate was reminded a bit of Vos.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

Swerve waved at Rewind. "C'mon! We gotta intercept the base now!"

Rewind gave them a thumbs up and shouted something at Whirl. The blue mech paused a bit then carried Rewind over to the other minibots.

"Why, fancy meeting you here."

Tailgate ignored Whirl. "Let's go. I think the Decepticons are distracted for now."

Ultra Magnus raged through the battlefield, causing more destruction then Whirl. (If it was even possible.) And it provided a welcome invitation toward the temporarily unguarded station.

The party of four raced toward the base, opening the door to find Cyclonus finishing up a few of the guards.

Cyclonus greeted the four with a small nod. Whirl gave a hushed curse underneath his breath.

Rewind grabbed Tailgate. "C'mon! We'll let Swerve, Whirl and Cyclonus finish up here! We have to find the kidnapped natives!"

Tailgate nodded, waved goodbye to Cyclonus, then ran with Rewind deeper within the base.

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As Rewind found the natives of Temptoria, Tailgate decided to risk a small question, while the minibot was perched on Tailgate's shoulders, peering into the prison.

"Rewind? Why exactly do we have to save the organics?"

Rewind glanced down at him, his expression surprised. "It's the Autobot thing to do, isn't it?"

Tailgate nodded, his fists clenched tightly around Rewind's ankles. Autobots. To risk their plating for a few hunks of organics? Please.

He could barely recall the time he had felt so proud to be a Decepticon. To make sure he would never be as weak or disgustingly sentimental. Rewind interrupted his thoughts.

"But I don't think we can just immediately save them. Look."

Yeah, that bomb was just staring them in the face, daring them to mess around with the door.

"Oh man." Rewind breathed "It must be there to make sure that nobody interferes with the Pink Alchemy process. It's wired into the doorframe. So, what's the pla-"

Tailgate cracked his servos. "Not for long. Rewind, find me a screwdriver and some sort of blunt object. We're going to need them."

Rewind peered at him. "Pardon?"

"I may not be a bomb disposal expert, but I know my way around the C-16. It's a common Decepticon weapon, mostly used by rogue groups. Easy to obtain and make."

Rewind backed toward the exit "Um, sure… But where do I find those things..?"

"Screwdrivers shouldn't be far from this room. With a bomb strapped here like this, I'd expect that there has to be a disposal kit somewhere nearby. Nobody but an idiot would let bomb sit here collecting dust without a B-plan."

"Er, sure. I'll be back as quick as I can."

Rewind ran off, leaving Tailgate to begin the first process of defusing the bomb.

Tailgate ran to the back of the bomb, superheating his fingertip and burning through the sensor nodes in the back.

The C-16 was funny like that. Normally touching the sensor nodes guaranteed a blowup, but not this particular brand. Mechs who used this relied heavily upon assumption and fear. (Morons, as Tarn would say.)

Tailgate relieved the pressure caps, the sensor nodes now dead; making sure that should he mess up, there was a slim time window for escape.

Immediate safety for now was assured. He looked down at his wrist, which read Bomb Disposal. He clenched his hands. He deserved that title. He earned it. He wasn't a fake- Oh great, Rewind was coming back.

"I found the screwdriver and a hammer", the archivist panted, "But I had to lock the door, guards were coming and the three outside are holding them off."

Tailgate gave Rewind a happy visor beam. "Fantastic. I'd suggest standing back from me now. Should something go wrong, maybe you'll end up badly injured instead of dead."

Rewind shivered and backed off. "No need to tell me twice."

Rewind clicked on his camera. "Mind if I film this? I don't want my last footage to be of Whirl punching himself in the face to prove he's super uninvincible."

Tailgate shrugged. "Film away."

Rewind watched as Tailgate began screwing away the cap of the bomb. "Tailgate, wouldn't a person normally drain the propex first…?"

Tailgate scoffed. "Medieval methods. There are far too many ways for it to backfire. Easier to remove the entirety of the propex at once."

The fuze well popped off and suddenly there was a high pitched beeping noise. "T-minus three secon-"

Tailgate smashed the hammer into a grey box that resided within the bomb, now exposed due to the missing fuze well. The voice was immediately silenced and the room hushed.

Rewind spoke out, his voice in a whisper. "What did you do?"

Tailgate stretched casually. "This bomb has a back-up system. The propex makes sure the blast reaches far, but should it be removed, there remains a smaller explosive hidden within the shell of the bomb. It's there to make sure the disposal mech is killed. I just squished it."

"B-but, should you have smashed it to pieces, wouldn't the bomb have gone off regardless due to the pressure?!"

"Not if you had super heated your finger and burnt through the sensor nodes, afterward removing the pressure pads. Imagine the bomb as having a fragged up firework within a numb shell."

"You're a genius!"

Tailgate sighed and sat down, leaning against the defused bomb. "No. My teacher was. Up until then, I was just a liar pretending to be someone I wasn't."

Tailgate thought back to his conversation with Kaon, only a few weeks after he joined the Peaceful Tyranny.

"I know you're a liar. And if you try to deny it, I'll zap you to the point of permanent malfunction."

"Wh-"

"But seeing as Tarn likes you, not to mention we do desperately need a maid, I can teach you to be that someone you always wanted to be."

And boy had Kaon taught him. Nearly all of his spare time was consumed by tests and endless lectures.

Kaon enjoyed hogging information of all varieties, and more than that, he relished educating "dim-witted disposal drones."

Tailgate saw endless lectures in form of historical video's of which Omega Supreme taught metaphysics, learnt some kickboxing, and studied the art of bomb disposal from the Ibex School of Epistemology. It was a good thing that Ibex saved a lot of their lectures unto data form.

It would have been impossible without Kaon. The mech helped him understand more then he possibly could have on his own.

All it took were a few months of cripplingly intense study, another few weeks of torturous tests, and finally Kaon was satisfied to allow him to continue into his life with a "good" conscious.

Bomb disposal was a particular pain in the aft to learn, but he managed upon it. Especially when Kaon threatened to withhold meals if Tailgate did not achieve near perfect on his test results.

Primus, how did he even survive on that ship?

Tailgate turned to Rewind. "Say, while those three are finishing up out there, can I ask you a question I've been meaning to for the past few days?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"H-how did you and Chromedome meet in the first place anyway?"

Rewind sighed, sitting beside Tailgate and slouching against the bomb. "Well, it's a pretty sad story, but I guess there's a happy ending within it somewhere. I don't normally like to talk about it, and neither does Domey; but considering that you saved my life and a dozen others, I guess a story can be arranged to pass the time…"

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Whirl peered in. "All the baddies are dead, me dears."

Cyclonus booted Whirl inside the room; Tailgate and Rewind both ducked and ran into an opposite direction to avoid the flying 'copter.

The two minibots walked out as Cyclonus locked the door.

Tailgate felt a moment of brief concern for Whirl before he realized that mechs like Whirl never died or got left behind.

They were left alive for the sole sake to further torment his existence.

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Rewind dozed against Tailgate when the Leading Light flew back to the Lost Light. Chromedome ran up to them both, looking extremely concerned.

"Is Rewind alright?! I heard you two were in the same room when you defused the bomb!"

Tailgate nodded his head. "But he's alright. We made through everything without a scratch."

Chromedome visibly sagged with relief. He lifted his hand and gave Rewind a small rub on the helm. Walking away, he joined Brainstorm and Drift. The two seemed to be anxiously discussing something to Chromedome, and the mnemosurgeon glanced back at Rewind twice.

Tailgate heard Rewind give a sleepy chuckle. "I felt that, Domey…"

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Upon returning to the Lost Light, Rodimus immediately called Tailgate to his office.

"Oh! Hey! Tailback was it?"

Tailgate slid into his seat. "It's Tailgate, sir."

"Right, right, but do you know why we called you here Tailgate?"

"I assume it's about today's activities…?"

Rodimus grinned at him. "You got it short-stack. Now, I have background checks on everybody but you Tailgate. And I say this in the most polite of terms Tailgate, but I need to know more about you should anymore bomb situations come up. Kapeesh?"

Tailgate nodded slowly. "So… you need to know my abilities in order for any emergency situations that might arise?"

"Ten points for you."

Tailgate stared at the desk, quietly debating on whether or not to lie or tell the truth. As in answer, Kaon's advice seemed to float within his mind.

"Sometimes telling the truth can be a safer option then lying, Tailgate."

Then Kaon got a sly grin.

"But then again, telling half of a truth is still the truth, isn't it?"

Tailgate sighed, hating to lie to his captain, but his fabricated tale was one that could save him a lot of hassle.

"Six million years ago, I guess you could say I was pretty special. I studied metaphysics under Omega Supreme, learned Bomb Disposal through a very special teacher of mine…"

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"So you lied to Rodimus?" Cyclonus' voice was a deadpan, betraying no hint of pride or anger.

Tailgate shrugged. "What else could I do? I've seen the others' response to the DJD. It was easier to tell Rodimus that I lied about the whole Decepticon Justice Division thing and move on."

Cyclonus rolled his eyes. "You best hope that your half-truth doesn't wind up with you in the brig."

Tailgate laughed. "Of course not! Now, what theme do you think we should make next Poetry Night? Make sure it involves flames; I lost to Rodimus today in his office over a game of highstasis."

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Lights: Ah, Cute isn't easy. Of which Tailgate is a badass behind an adorable shell.