One hundred and one reviews! I LOVE YOU GUYS! So in celebration here is the next chapter. In my opinion it is bigger (ok, that's fact) and better than the last. Thank you to every one who reviewed that last one and reassured me that it was still going good. I think about you all while writing. It's like "ohh would so and so like this, they commented on that so should I change this or that." For everything, I do this. RandomReviewer: I love that you love the story and so here is your update! Black16lily: I hate it to, I wasn't thinking right last chap. I've made some amendments in this one. growinghope: How are you! Sirius knows what's going on, he's so awesome haha. Me: You commented on ch1 so I'm guessing you're up to here now but thanks for reviewing! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far. Happy: Hmm okay. I reread the chap and completely saw what you were talking about and I agree she was a little flimsy in the last chapter true (and I'm afraid it's Mary's turn in this chap ugh I hope I didn't ruin her). Could you please tell me the easy ways Lily can get out of the relationship though? Then I can come up with ways to make them impossible or difficult. Thank you for telling me your thoughts though. DarkBlackRoses: You are phenomenal! I had the biggest smile when you used that word! When James is happy I'll use it again. Thank you so much for your kind words! Anna: Did you go well in your Latin final? I hope so! That's so interesting that you found CBITMH, it must have been way back in the archives. Snape is a bastard, yes. There is nothing I can do about that and please believe me when I say that I don't mind the canon Snape. I just get some sick pleasure out of making him this cruel man in my stories.
Here we go guys!
"There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown. Things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt."
Unknown.
...
Lady Evans wandered aimlessly through the house. With her wand she lit the fire in her husband's dark office then made her way over to the desk. Curiously, she looked through some papers. One in particular caught her eye. The letter head was of Gringotts Wizarding Bank. She unfolded the letter and read the sums and figures. A panic rose within her at the diminishing numbers. She flicked through all the pages with a furrowed brow and a slightly faster heart rate. Sense had hit her and she double checked the vault number. It was not the Evans' and she did not recognise it to be anyone's that she knew. The branches on the tree outside scraped against the window in the wind causing her to jump. Telling herself not to be so paranoid, Lady Evans folded up the pages and left them how she found them. Quietly she stood up and pushed in the chair.
"This room is off limits to anyone but Lord Evans," an old house elf stood at the door and caused Lady Evans to flinch again. It was Thaddeus, Lord Evans' personal elf.
"Excuse me but this is my house too," Lady Evans stood her ground. Usually she had rule over every elf in the house, except this one of whom she rarely saw.
"This room is off limits to anyone but Lord Evans," Thaddeus repeated and moved to the side so Lady Evans could leave the room. Not wanting her actions to be repeated she swiftly exited without making a scene. Thaddeus singled out a key on his chain and locked the door before giving Lady Evans a very suspicious glance. Without another word he walked down the dimmed corridor leaving Lady Evans to herself again.
Georgia jumped as a hand came over her head and lifted the book she was studying out of her grasp. Remus fell into the seat next to her and placed The History of Magic book shut on the table.
"I was studying," Georgia said pointedly but with a smile she couldn't resist.
"When is the exam?"
"Next Friday," she answered, "so I really should get back to it." Remus moved the book out of her reach.
"I think you need a break. It's night time and we've been working all day."
"I don't do breaks," Georgia said with a smirk. "Also, before you start, I don't want to talk about it."
"I didn't say anything," Remus said innocently, "it's up to you now."
Georgia felt a sense of victory, now she would never have to talk about it. Her plan worked, it always did actually. Soon Remus would grow bored of the topic and forget about it and he won't bring it up. Then, like everybody else, he would move on. He would give up trying to save her and trying to fix her. The thing was Georgia didn't want this one to leave.
"Are you going to give me back my book? If I fail, I'm going to blame you," said Georgia.
"You won't fail and no, I'm not giving your book back until we have a chat."
"About what?"
Remus shrugged, "Anything. Did you go to Hogsmeade last weekend?"
"I'm going to get another book," Georgia stood up and walked away.
Remus couldn't help but smile at this girl's determination. He followed her down an aisle of ancient hardbacks, then another and another. She finally found another copy of the book that Remus had hijacked but now she had to find a ladder to reach it. At first she tried to reach it herself while Remus stood at the end of the bookshelf with his arms crossed watching her. It didn't pass Remus' notice that Georgia's skirt didn't cover much when she reached upwards.
"Are you going to help me?" She asked in a huff.
"No," Remus said and made his way towards her. Georgia jumped for the book and actually got it. Her landing, however, wasn't as successful. She tumbled back and Remus caught her. They both froze; they hadn't been this close to each other since her break down. Georgia noted that Remus had a scent that she hadn't taken notice of until now and yet it was familiar. She liked being here, in his arms.
"Is this how you usually get the boys?" Remus asked quietly.
"I don't normally have to do that much physical exercise beforehand," Georgia said as her breathing slowed down after jumping. "But I think you're worth it."
"You do?"
Georgia bit her bottom lip and nodded before she raised her head and met Remus' lips. It was slow and soft and she hadn't felt this good for a long time. Remus felt Georgia smile into the kiss and picked her up and placed her on a narrow table that ran along the tall bookshelf. She threw her book out of her hand and it landed on the floor.
"You threw a book!" Remus pulled away with shock.
"Shut up, Lupin," Georgia pulled him back in and wrapped her legs around him. Her body grew excited as she felt his hands travel up her stockings and under her skirt. With her heart beating faster and faster she pulled him closer and arched her back in an attempt to be as close to him as possible. Remus moved his kisses down her neck and drew his hands away from her thighs. Georgia looked at him curiously and upset that he stopped. She remained still as Remus undid the bow that held her hair up and the long black strands fell down over the sides of her face.
Georgia had to laugh, "Is that better?" She asked striking a little pose and shaking her hair up.
"Merlin, yes," Remus went back to kiss her and revelled in being able to run his hands the usually pulled up hair. Georgia untucked his shirt and ran her hands up his chest and down his back.
There was a loud grunt from the end of the aisle and Georgia and Remus quickly pulled away to see Madame Pince stare at them. She moved on and they laughed, resting their foreheads together.
Georgia smiled as she looked up into his eyes and ran a small hand down his face. She gave him one last kiss before hoping off the desk and fixing up her skirt. Picking up her book she turned to see if he was going to come back to the desk with her but it didn't seem like it. "Thanks for the break," she said and walked away tapping the book against her hip and with her hair still tousled.
She made it back to her table and collapsed onto the chair then buried her face in her hands. "So stupid!" She mentally slapped herself. She raked her fingers through her hair and stared at the table. Remus was not like the other boys she played with so why did she just treat him like one. Not that she had been doing any of her usual frolicking since the return of school. He was a good kisser, she thought. With a groan she packed her book bag. Georgia replayed the whole thing in her head, thanks for the break, what was she thinking? She had practically just proven that she was a little skank. Now he would think that she was just using him. But she could have had sex with him right then. With another mental slap, Georgia made her way out of the library. She would have to apologise to Remus and hope that she hadn't just ruined their friendship.
Remus had made it back to the Gryffindor common room and fell onto the bed rubbing his eyes.
"Moony," James acknowledged him without looking up from whatever work he was doing.
"I am such an idiot!" Remus threw his hands in the air and let them drop heavily by his sides.
"Aww, why is that?" James finally looked up and stretched.
"I just kissed Georgia," Remus shook his head.
"Georgie! Moving fast, Remus, moving fast. Whatever happened to not even wanting to go on a date?"
"It just happened. We were in the library -"
"Nice setting."
Remus sent James a death stare, "We were in the library and she jumped for a book and sort of landed on me and then everything just got out of hand."
"Is she a good kisser?"
"Yes, wait, no that is not the point. The point here is that I have my problems and I should not be pulling other people into those problems. She doesn't need all that. Besides, she'd freak out and leave as soon as she knew the truth."
"You don't know that," James pointed out. "If you like her, which you obviously do, I think you should give it a go."
"Because two negatives make a positive, right?"
"Right," James confirmed with a strong nod.
"I don't know," Remus rubbed his eyes again as he replayed everything in his head. He couldn't decide whether he had just made a grave mistake or not.
The owls swooped in over the tired students. Snow fell from their wings and landed on the four house tables. James' pitch black owl, Onyx, obediently let James tie the envelope off its claw. He gave the owl a triangle of toast which it bit at while James opened the envelope.
"Your owl is still scary, Prongs," Sirius eyed off the black bird.
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't get a pretty pink one," James said sarcastically. Seconds later Sirius' barn owl brought an identical letter to that of James'.
"Uh oh," Sirius sighed and they both opened them.
Tearing apart the red seal Lily already knew what was inside. She had already mentally picked out the dress before she even unfolded the cream paper. Her eyes ran across the cursive script. The date had stamped itself into her mind. It was a little different this year, usually they held a New Year's Eve gathering but this year it seemed to be Christmas. It was odd but nothing to worry or complain about.
"At the Prewett's! Honestly, out at that old place with all the piano's?"
"Finchcocks Manor, yes, that's the one," Severus reread the invite while Avery complained.
"I thought the Lestrange family were going to host the party this year."
"They probably were before it turned into a Christmas one. Do they even celebrate Christmas?"
Avery snorted at the thought of the Lestrange family celebrating the holiday. "It'll be your first chance to show Evans off."
"True," Severus scanned the Gryffindor table for the redhead. She sat with her two friends as usual. Lily waved the invite around in the air as she explained something. Since Hogsmeade he hadn't seen her much. He didn't expect anything more but at least he rarely saw her with Potter. Soon enough Lily would come around but the first and most important part was creating the gap between the two Head Students. This seemed to be happening quite easily. James had clearly backed off and Severus had seen the new patrol schedule made by the Head Boy. Still, if there was any connection present he would finish it off next Friday.
Lily stood up and left the Hall herself, a rare occurrence, so Severus used the opportunity to talk to her alone. Putting his invitation in his pocket and walked quickly to catch up to her. He finally did in the cloisters surrounding the main courtyard.
"Lily!" She turned around with a less than pleased expression. "Did you get your invite?"
"Of course," she replied dully, "I've never been to the Prewett's so it should be nice."
"Yeah," she started walking again and he kept up beside her. "It'll be our first one together. We'll be presented to everyone."
Lily looked at him blankly, "I can't wait. Also, please don't get confused Severus. It is our first one together in a contract made by our parents. It is not our first one as an actual loving couple in a healthy relationship."
"But what about Hogsmeade? I thought you seemed to be coming to terms with being in a relationship." He thought about their day together.
"Hogsmeade was a mistake. I didn't know what I was doing and I was confused."
"What is there to be confused about?" Severus was the only one showing emotion in the conversation.
"Everything."
"Potter?" Severus said with distaste.
Lily stopped walking in the freezing walkway to finally put some sincerity into her words, "Severus, when it comes to Potter I have actually done what you asked for." Not really, James just stayed away from her but if she could twist it to suit Severus she would and she did. "I have stayed away from him and we only communicate when necessary. We're back in our old dorms and spend our free time with our own friends."
"Which is how it should be," Severus went to keep walking but Lily grabbed his arm.
"No, no, no. Now I think it is time for me to tell you something. You will stay away from me until I say so, which will be when I've figured things out. Is that clear?" Lily asked with a cruel little smile. Severus didn't say anything. He pulled his arm out of her grasp and walked away.
Lily watched him go, knowing he would do as she said at least for a short while. She looked across the courtyard where snow covered the ground. Through the light snowfall she saw James for a second before he got caught up in a rush of students as the first bell rang for the day. Her side of the cloisters also filled up and she let herself get carried along with the flow to her first class.
...
Evelyn yawned as she took her usual seat in History of Magic, not a good start. Hopefully today they would get back their papers. Noah sat down in the seat next to her which was normally always free.
"Hey, how are you?" He asked.
"I am pretty good, yourself?"
"Alright," Noah unpacked his bag. He thought about his last run in with James and wondered if he should ask Evelyn about things. He didn't want her to get annoyed at him though.
Professor Binns floated in and the student's essay papers landed on their desks. Evelyn let Noah have the first look and their joint essay.
"Ninety per cent, pretty good," Noah handed over the essay.
"Pretty good? That's brilliant! I can't even remember the last time I got a ninety." Evelyn skimmed over the barely readable comments. Binns started droning on about what students did wrong and right then moved onto another topic.
Evelyn caught Noah's eye and smiled excitedly, "Lily will be so proud," she whispered.
"Is Lily okay?" Noah asked.
Evelyn's face dropped disbelievingly, "You don't know?" Noah shrugged, should he know? "Her parents have put her in an arranged marriage with Snape."
"Is that why Potter was upset last week?" Sometimes it was easy to forget that not everybody was aware of Lily and James, Evelyn thought.
"Er, yes, he was upset for her. She hates it, obviously."
"Oh right. Yeah, I asked him last week if everything was okay and he kind of got a bit angry. He was on his way to Quidditch," Noah didn't know why he was telling Evelyn this.
"Hmm, don't bother James when he's in his Quidditch uniform," Evelyn gave a joking smile and Noah relaxed.
"I'll keep that in mind. Any other things I should know?" Noah cringed for turning on the stalker mode.
"I don't know… Never ask Lily questions until she's had her breakfast. If Ben and Mary go into a room do not follow them," Evelyn shuddered at a memory and Noah laughed light-heartedly. "Merlin, what else is there? Never ask Sirius about his family but that's common sense. Why do you want to know?"
Noah just shrugged, "You guys are interesting."
"No we're not, I assure you. We're just… students." Evelyn turned her attention back to Professor Binns and so did Noah.
Binns droned on and Evelyn came up with an idea, "Hey Noah?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't support Slytherin do you?"
"No, why?"
"Well, I was thinking that since you find my fellow Gryffindor's and I so interesting perhaps you should sit with us during the match tomorrow. Georgia sat with us last time so maybe you could come along with her."
"Okay, that sounds good, yeah, thanks."
"And please do not forget about the exam next Friday. You all have a week to study which I believe is more than enough time." Binns said in his monotone voice.
"A test?" Evelyn said more to herself.
"Yeah, he mentioned it a few weeks ago," Noah started packing up his things.
"No he did not!"
"I wouldn't stress about it."
"You've already started studying, haven't you?" Evelyn crossed her arms. How did she miss this?
Noah stood up and pushed his chair in, "Maybe."
"Ugh, Ravenclaws. Okay well, I'll deal with it. You're still good for tomorrow right?"
"Definitely."
Evelyn smiled and bid farewell. Noah watched her leave suddenly very confused. Did Evelyn like him too?
...
"Ready for the game tomorrow?" Sirius looked down beside him and saw his brother.
"I'm always ready to play against my little brother."
"Going to knock me off my broom are you?" Regulus asked casually.
"I'll play nice, don't worry. It's our own Seeker, Benjy Williams that you'll have to worry about." Sirius stirred.
"Is he any good?"
"Didn't you watch our last game?"
"Yeah but c'mon, that was chance," Regulus shrugged off Benjy's last achievement.
"He's good, Reg."
"Are you going to the party?"
"The Gryffindor victory party? Yeah, I might make an appearance, depends how tired I am after the game," Sirius said leaning against a column in the hallway.
Regulus rolled his eyes, "Always the comedian."
Sirius smirked, "I will be attending the Christmas party at the Prewett's. It's about time I saw mum and dad, don't you think?"
For a split moment Regulus looked sad but then he covered, "Will you be wearing the Black family sash or have you burnt it?"
"I have not burnt it. I might wear it, if it goes with my outfit that is." Sirius hadn't actually given it that much thought. Was he still supposed to wear it even though he had surely been disowned? He made a mental note to ask Lady Potter next time he wrote to her.
"I heard about the Evans' and Snape's," Regulus carried on with the conversation. He'd never admit it but he did like talking to Sirius, once he got past all the sarcasm. Regulus knew that it was all aimed at their parents anyway and he took nothing personal.
"Yeah," Regulus could tell he'd hit a nerve, "at least we can be thankful ours never did that."
"For sure, I'd hate it. Poor Lily, Severus is… strange. Why did they have to pick him anyway? There are plenty of other guys on our side –"
"Your side."
"My side of this war."
"Like yourself?" Sirius joked.
"No but surely there would have been someone more suited. I just don't understand why Severus? Mum thinks there is something strange going on between Lord Evans and Lord Snape. Dad says she's ridiculous and that Lily and Severus have always been friends so it makes sense. It doesn't though, it's really peculiar."
Sirius tilted his head in thought, "I wouldn't know anything about it," he shrugged.
"Hey Reg, how are you?" James came up behind Sirius.
"Hi James, I hope you've got your new Seeker all ready to go." Regulus said light-heartedly.
"He's ready," James smiled, "am I interrupting?"
"No, we were just talking about Miss Evans," Sirius said casually without looking at James.
"Oh," was all James could really say.
"Yeah, I was just saying how it all seems a bit strange. I don't understand why the Evans' put her with Severus when there were plenty of others."
"I'm sure they had their reasons, right Sirius?"
"Right, James," Sirius pushed off the column. "Well, we best be off to dinner then."
"Nice seeing you, Reg," James gave a quick wave before he and Sirius turned towards the Great Hall.
"He brought up some interesting points," Sirius started once they were far enough away from Regulus.
"I don't want to know them," James said quickly.
"But they were really something," Sirius pushed on.
"I'm sure they were but I don't need to hear them," James put an end to the topic.
"Where are Peter and Remus?" Sirius asked defeated.
"They're coming. Remus was helping Peter finish an essay."
...
Mary sat on her bed after dinner and flicked through the Daily Prophet. The word Muggle-born was becoming more and more frequent every day and more often than not it was teamed with the word death. Her future had been playing on her mind a lot recently. What would happen to her once she was out of school? She had made a point of not needing to be protected but whenever she read this paper she felt foolish. Yesterday a Muggle-born, who she knew to be a very good wizard, was murdered in his own home. Mary couldn't understand why he couldn't protect himself, and if he couldn't what if she couldn't either. What if she wasn't good enough? What if Ben was right and she did need protecting? A tear dropped from her cheek and smudged the ink on the paper when she wiped it away.
Today a Muggle family had been killed. Mary thought about her own parents at home with her younger brother. She couldn't help but think that she would be one hundred per cent responsible if they were to be killed that way. She imagined what it would be like to be Fabius Watkins. His experience was the first major blow for Mary but she had kept silent about it. Ben wanted to save her and she wanted to save her family. She couldn't remember when it had all become about saving but she wished it would finish.
"Mary?" Marlene rushed over to Mary's bed. She had one quick glance at the paper then threw it off the bed. The pages fell apart as they drifted to the floor and she kicked them away. "Don't look at it."
Mary didn't even realise that tears were streaming down her cheeks, "I can't help it and it's all real. It's all happening!" Marlene looked at Mary sympathetically and drew her into a tight hug. "I'm starting to think that maybe after school I should just go and live with my family. Work in the Muggle world and live like a Muggle. That way, if something happens, I would be there to protect them."
Marlene sat back, "That is exactly what they want you to do. To leave the wizarding world and go back to where you supposedly belong. Do you want to give into them?"
"No but I want my family to be safe!" Mary stressed.
"Then shouldn't you stay and fight? Fight for your family and for yourself." Marlene questioned, trying to put some sense into Mary's head.
"But that is so easy for you to say. The McKinnon's, you're such a powerful wizarding family, you have nothing to worry about."
Marlene shook her head sadly, "We have everything to worry about just like you and your family. It was so hard to leave this summer because my parents are against Voldemort making them just as much as a target as your own parents." Marlene looked away for a moment in thought, "No one is safe."
It was in this moment that Amelia Bones entered the room, "What's wrong?" She frowned at the paper scattered on the floor but the headlines answered her question. "Edgar is in hospital," she said almost off handily.
"Is he okay?" Marlene asked showing concern.
Amelia smiled, "He's fine, just got knocked around a bit during a duel. He'll be right for his wedding, at least."
Mary had to smile at this. A wedding, Amelia's brother was already fighting and yet he was still getting married. Life still went on. It wasn't long until Lily and Evelyn were also in the room. The girls moved off the topic of war, Lily had an amazing ability of steering away from it. Mary looked at their smiles and happy faces and realised that she had just been so stupid. Marlene was right; she had to stay here and with her friends. How could she even think to leave them behind?
Noah dug through his trunk for a neutral coloured scarf. The other boys in his dorm leant more towards the Slytherin team so he didn't want to tell them his plans. To his surprise he actually found a maroon scarf which he shoved in the pocket of his coat and left the dorm for breakfast. He spotted Georgia at the Ravenclaw table with her friends. She wasn't wearing Gryffindor colours at all and Noah became a little nervous. In an attempt to ignore it he sat down at a spare spot near some younger students he didn't talk to. The Gryffindor Quidditch team walked into the Great Hall and were met with a loud cheer from their table. Noah watched, as he usually did, as James said something to Lily. He turned around to face Severus Snape who was positively glaring. Not wanting to get caught out he returned to his food without looking up again.
Lily sat shivering in the Gryffindor stands. It never ceased to amaze her as to why she came out for these games in such freezing weather. Alas, she was Head Girl and she supposed it was part of her duty to oversee these things. Next to her was Noah Burke who tightened his coat around him against the cold. She knew Evelyn had invited him up, probably because he didn't have many friends in Ravenclaw, Lily guessed.
"Are you having a good time?" She asked while the students around them jumped up and cheered as Gryffindor scored more points.
"Yeah, it's more fun over here. Gryffindor's really get into it!" Noah replied enthusiastically.
Lily laughed, "They do. I think James has a lot to do with that," she turned to find him out amongst the other players. "He really builds up the sport and the enthusiasm."
"What about you, don't you like the sport?"
"I do but I'm not crazy about it and I don't have the ability to get people to act like this," Lily gestured around the stand.
"I see," Noah nodded. "He was really upset about what happened last weekend," another mental slap for Noah. Lily looked at him strangely and he immediately went to cover, "Evelyn told me, I had asked James what was wrong, I… I wanted to help. He got a bit pissed off though so I asked Ev and she said what's going on with you and Snape."
"Yeah, James doesn't like Severus… much," Lily was trying to imagine James going off at Noah.
"Lily, I may not have much to do with the social scene of Hogwarts but I do know that they hate each other."
"Okay, there was more to it."
"Isn't there always?" Noah faced the redhead who looked into his eyes with a smile.
"Isn't there always," Lily nodded with approval. She liked this guy.
He was a little thankful, a little sad and a little confused. Georgia didn't sit with him. Then again, he didn't invite her to sit with him and she was a Ravenclaw. James attempted to score but the Slytherin Keeper caught the Quaffle and the Gryffindor stands made their opinion well known. Remus was unfazed; James' game had been off since the start.
"Hey Remus, hey Peter," Mary scooted onto the bench next to Remus who sat beside Peter.
"Hi," they both replied and Peter went back to watching the game intently.
"What brings you up here?" Remus asked looking down a few rows to where Mary had once been to see if anything was wrong. Everything seemed fine, Evelyn and Noah were talking and Lily was just sitting there normally.
"I wanted to ask you a question," Mary said as she crossed her arms and hunched over. "How has Ben been?"
"Ben? He's been okay, I guess."
"Oh," Remus quickly noticed Mary's crestfallen expression.
"He'll come around, it's just hard right now, you know?" Remus tried to reassure her.
"Do you think that I was being foolish about not wanting him to protect me?" Mary asked.
Remus thought about it. Honestly he didn't really get that involved in what was happening between Ben and Mary. "I don't know, maybe you both were in the wrong."
Mary was silent for a moment and went several times to say something but stopped herself. "Okay… but what if now I wanted him to watch out and protect me, even though I'm fine by myself," she rushed, "but what if I wanted so badly to get back with him and for him to protect me. Would people see that as just using him?"
Remus and Peter stared blankly at Mary, "What?"
"I don't think people are going to think that," Peter said slowly.
"And I don't think Ben would mind. I mean, that is what he wants, right?" Remus continued.
"He wants to be with me again?" Mary jumped at the conclusion.
Both boys stared at her confused then Peter spoke up, "I think you should ask Ben."
Mary's smile dropped, "Thanks guys." She pushed her way through the crowd and squeezed in next to Lily. "Has that Snitch been caught yet?"
"Nope."
"Having fun watching Potter?"
"Having fun watching Wood?"
"I am." Mary replied smartly.
"Good for you," Lily kept her eyes on the game.
"Ugh, Snape's watching."
"What," Lily squinted her eyes and looked at one of the Slytherin stands, "how can you even see that far?"
"I don't know how you cannot! He stands out; he's like the one with the black oily hair, pale complexion, drawn face, evil smile when something good happens to Slytherin or when something bad happens to Gryffindor."
"Mary, you just described the whole Slytherin stand!" Lily covered her eyes and shook her head at her friend.
"Either way, I saw him."
"And does it surprise you?"
"No but how do you stand that?"
Lily was silent while trying to form a sentence in her head. She could easily say I just ignore it which would be a typical answer for her. Or she could just say, "I can't, I hate it and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to act, Mary. I don't want to be in this relationship, I don't even know if it is a relationship!" Lily raised her stressed voice over the cheering Gryffindor's something was happening in the game but she and Mary were in their own bubble. "What is it? I don't know! Are we supposed to be boyfriend girlfriend? Or are we single until a certain age or point? Is there a freaking date set?" The people around them started jumping and chanting, screaming with happiness while Mary wiped a tear away from Lily's cheek. "I gave no consent for this! I don't want it even if I can't be with Potter I don't want to be in this fucking mess! I don't want to kiss him! I don't want to sleep with him!" Lily stopped for a breath. She and Mary looked out onto the pitch where the Gryffindor team stood in the middle huddled in a group jumping around. The surrounding noise infiltrated their ears.
"Benjy! Benjy!"
"We won," Mary said quietly and only Lily heard it. They were the last to figure this out.
Lily had her eyes set on the group of Gryffindor's down on the pitch who were now splitting up and walking off, "I'm going to get him back."
...
The Gryffindor party was in full swing in the common room. Benjy Williams was quickly becoming the new hero of Gryffindor and James watched on. The short boy made his way up to James who at that moment in time was by himself.
"You are constantly amazing me, Williams," James said.
"I'm doing my best," Benjy smiled proudly. Earning James' respect was better than catching a Snitch.
"I can see that. Is Quidditch something you want to do after school?"
"Yeah," Benjy answered with enthusiasm, "that's my dream. People say it's unrealistic and it's not a proper career but it's what I want."
"Since when did you settle for other people's expectations? You made a point to prove me wrong so why don't you make a point to prove them wrong?" Benjy hadn't thought of it this way. James looked down at the beaming Seeker. He was going to make him Captain next year.
"Have you heard anything from Fabius Watkins?" Benjy asked.
James bowed his head, "No, I haven't. I doubt he will be coming back to school until next term."
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if he stayed on? Like if his parents weren't killed and he was still Seeker."
"I make it a habit not to think about what ifs, so should you." James said pointedly and walked away.
Sirius replaced James' space, "Benjy the legend! You really taught my brother some lessons today," he said as he messed up the boys hair. "What's up?"
"I think I upset James."
Sirius sighed, "Nothing can make that boy happy right now, don't worry about it. Now come over here and start celebrating. Miss Bell has decided to participate in some drinking games."
"I have not!" Evelyn pretended to be scandalised.
"But you're going to," Sirius reassured her and Evelyn rolled her eyes.
Ben walked up to Mary in the common room during the Quidditch victory party. He pulled her over to a slightly quiet corner and dug for something in his pocket.
"Mary," he handed her a crumpled envelope with a rich red seal which had already been torn. She looked at him curiously, she recognised the envelope as a similar one sat on Lily's bedside table.
"Why are you giving me this?" Mary pulled out the invitation inside.
"I want you to come with me." Mary looked away from the invite and faced Ben, "Will you come with me?"
"You want to take a Muggle-born to a Noble Christmas party?"
"No, I want to take you. I want to take my girlfriend, Muggle-born, half-blood, pure-blood whatever I don't care. I just know that I want you to be there with me."
"What if I get attacked?" Mary raised her eyebrows.
"You're not a first year. You can look after yourself and if not, I'll be there." Ben said and Mary smiled.
"You're serious?"
"I'm not going unless you're going," Ben said.
"I don't have a dress… oh my God," Mary couldn't believe it. She put the invite and envelope down and wrapped her arms around Ben.
"I am so sorry for over-reacting," Ben looked into her eyes then kissed her. He hadn't forgotten how much he loved it.
Lily watched Mary and Ben from the other side of the room. She wished that she could just kiss freely like that. She stood up from the couch where she and some third year boy were doing shot competitions. He had been pestering her for a while now and since Gryffindor won she gave in.
"Surprised you weren't sitting in the Slytherin stands," Lily turned to face the voice behind her.
"Hilarious, James," she smirked and moved closer to the wall so she could lean against it.
"How is it all anyway?" James asked also moving to stand next to Lily. She felt his hand rest on hers and she knew it was no accident. "Hm? Is it anything like what we had?"
"Short-lived, constant fighting –"
"Passionate, exciting –"
"Totally," Lily said sarcastically. "We do nothing."
"You don't have to lie to me," James looked out into the crowd.
"I'm not."
"Does he try?" James asked, still not meeting Lily's eyes.
"Of course he does," Lily took a deep breath, "I'm trying to come up with a plan." She was, well maybe not right now when her mind was a little fuzzy but since the game she had started planning.
"Don't," James said firmly.
"Why not?" Lily moved her hand so it wasn't touching James' anymore. She suddenly felt conscious of the alcohol in her.
"Just don't bother with little plans and ideas. It would be easy to see each other, to create stolen moments but I put you on patrol with Remus for a reason." James looked down at her. He wanted to push a strand of hair out of her eyes but he refrained himself. "Have a good night, Lily."
She watched as he disappeared into the crowd. Hit with the sudden desire to escape it all she ascended the stairs and made it to her bedroom. As soon as she shut the door there was a squeal and Lily quickly noticed Mary sitting on top of Ben.
"Lily!" Mary said through gritted teeth while pushing her hair out of her face.
"Oh! Oh, hey, you two!"
"Lily," Mary sent another warning.
"Right, right, sorry," Lily awkwardly shut her eyes and fled the room. She ran into Evelyn on the stairs and grabbed her hand. "Don't even go there!"
"Ohh, Mary?" Evelyn rolled her eyes dramatically. "Lily I am so gone. Sirius… Bitch…" Lily couldn't understand Evelyn.
"Let's just go," Lily pulled her down the stairs, found a bottle of some something alcoholic and left the common room.
They linked arms and continued to the Astronomy Tower with the alcohol already flooding through them.
"So, how is Lady Lily on this fine evening," Evelyn stuck her chin out and spoke like an uptight Lord.
Lily laughed, "I am very fine thank you! And how is Lord… Voldemort?"
Evelyn stared at Lily with wide eyes then burst out laughing with her, "Err, he is very… swell?" Evelyn tried to say seriously. They held each other up as they walked. "Merlin, Lily, why do I have to be Voldemort? What does he even look like?"
"How would I know!" Lily took another drink.
"Do you think," Evelyn let go of Lily and re-arranged her hair, "do you think he has a side fringe like this?" She held her hair over part of her forehead.
"Pff, no way!" Lily laughed, "He most definitely is doing a Beatles fringe." Now Lily put the bottle down and rearranged her own hair.
"Lily you are shit at Beatle fringes," Evelyn tried to say in all earnest.
"Well I'm sorry Farrah Fawcett but you're no better at side fringes," Lily defended herself.
"Is she related to the Fawcett's?"
"No, I don't think she's a witch," Lily said, "God, I want to know Voldemort's hair style now!" Lily stamped a foot in drunken frustration.
"He has a side fringe. If I have to role play Voldemort in this scenario he has a side fringe! I honestly think that would be pretty dapper." Evelyn stopped to attempt the hair style again in the glass of a photo-frame on the wall.
"If I get killed by a man with a side fringe, Evelyn –"
"I will gladly kill you again. Ugh, fuck it," Evelyn flipped her hair over then back again making it fall at its natural part.
"Thank you."
Together they reached the steps of the Astronomy Tower and gave a great sigh after their laughing but small giggles still managed to escape.
"Mary's going to your Christmas party with Ben," Evelyn said with no real emotion as they sat down.
"Nice, I would take you but," Lily shrugged and Evelyn leaned on her.
"Please," she smiled, "the amount of times I've heard you complain about those things? I'm sure I can find a better way to spend the night."
"I'm sure you could, dearest."
"Besides, I wouldn't want you to be looking after me while trying to get James," Evelyn said with a sneaky grin. Lily pretended to look shocked.
They laughed but then Lily sighed it all away, "I don't think that will be happening at this one." She said, studying the dirt on the step between her legs.
"This one?" Evelyn's eyes lit up.
"Right before fifth year," Lily said with a sad smile. The alcohol made it easy to say.
"What!" Evelyn slapped Lily's arm playfully, "What did you two do?"
"We… did nothing," Lily found humour in Evelyn's quick expression change. "No, we were close though. We had snuck away after a dance and stuff happened then I flinched because… yeah. Then Severus came –"
"He walked in on you!"
"Nooo, listen to me Ev'! Severus was calling out for me and James just left. He left me."
"Is that why you hated him, because he left you there?"
"Yes," Lily mumbled.
"Sleeping with the enemy... I can't believe you almost had sex with James Potter before fifth year. You had kissed him after all the time!"
"I've never told anyone that before," Lily said quietly. A silence fell between them as Evelyn put the pieces together in her head.
"Are you two still, you know."
"No, not since the whole thing with Severus." Lily wouldn't even be able to guess as to what Evelyn did and didn't know and the same went for Mary, when she thought about it. They never openly discussed it, when things started and stopped and started again.
"Do you still want to?"
Lily ran a hand through her hair, "More than anything."
"You will again," Evelyn bumped Lily.
"He doesn't…" Lily's voice drifted off as she started to pick small pieces of white fluff out of her stockings.
"It's James Potter, he can't resist you. He'll give in, trust me." Lily put her head down on Evelyn's shoulder and blinked back a tear. She didn't want to cry about this again.
"Thanks Ev," she whispered.
"Anytime."
"By the way, you should invite Noah Burke to hang out more often," Lily teased with a tired smile.
"Whatever you say, Lil's, whatever you say."
Lady Potter, who preferred to be addressed as Grace, sat in her old armchair staring into the roaring fire. In her old hands she held a photo of her late husband. She didn't realise how much she could miss someone or how empty the house could feel. Montacute was huge, much too big for one person. Grace rarely ventured out of her own quarters and let the house elves take care of the rest of the home. Slowly, she pushed herself up out of the chair and placed the photo back on the mantelpiece above the fire place. From there she surveyed the other family photos. The only proof she had of the old days, when she had a husband, a lover. She paused at the picture of James and Edward, her two boys. James was much younger in this photo as they stood in front of the river at Avebury.
Frowning, Grace wondered if she had failed as a mother for keeping important information from James. Edward had done everything in his power to let James know everything possible. He taught him spells that were beyond his years and he made it his life goal to have James prepared. Now it felt as if she was holding him back but she just wanted to protect him. He was still her son, her only son, and she didn't want to see him go through that pain. Grace didn't want to accept that her son was past protecting and that he was growing up. She wondered then, as she looked into her husband's eyes on the other side of the glass frame, if would he be disappointed. Would Edward approve of her keeping things from James or would he be angry at her for holding him back.
This was the unbearable part. She couldn't consult him. She craved his advice, she just wanted him to tell her what to do. He needed to reassure her that if she told James he wouldn't go out to seek revenge and get himself killed. A tiny smile played on Grace's lips as she imagined Edward telling her that James is twice the wizard he ever was. He had said that in the weeks before his death. Grace bowed her head and turned her back to the photos. Edward knew, she thought, he knew his time was coming. If only he had told her or prepared her.
"The Fawcett's are here, Lady Potter," a house elf peeked around the door frame.
"I'll be down in a moment," Grace smiled kindly and the elf disappeared. She straightened out her robes and picked up a little box which was wrapped up in pink paper. Quickly, she signed the card she had sitting on top.
Dearest Olivia
Happy 3rd Birthday
Love, Grace and James
Tomorrow it would be a year since Edwards name was missing.
One Year Earlier...
James laughed at something Sirius said about Sophie Barbary, the Hufflepuff he had spent last night with.
"So, is a second date necessary or was the simple one night stand enough for you, Padfoot?" James asked as he stuffed a triangle of toast into his mouth.
"Definitely second date material, I could do all that again," Sirius nodded in reflection. James rolled his eyes and looked out to the other tables. He spotted Regulus Black and frowned, "Are you going home for Christmas?"
"Absolutely not," Sirius scoffed.
"Have you talked to Reg after everything?"
"No."
"I still don't think that you should cut him off. He's still your brother," James sent Sirius a concerned look.
"He's not, James. I don't want to have anything to do with them, any of them."
James put his hands up in surrender and felt a tap on his shoulder. He twisted to see Frank Longbottom standing above him. "Frank?"
"Potter, Dumbledore wishes to see you in his office," Frank said solemnly.
James was a little taken aback but he picked up another triangle of toast for the way, "C'mon Black, if I'm in trouble you must also be," James waited for Sirius to stand up.
"No, Potter, just you," Frank said and Sirius sat back down with a shrug. James followed Frank out of the Hall and up to the Headmaster's office.
Frank placed a hand on James' shoulder as they stood in front of the staircase leading to the office.
"Are you alright, Longbottom?"
"We will be avenged," Frank said then walked past James without another word.
"Okay," James said to himself and ascended the stairs. He knocked on the wooden door and it opened instantly.
"James, please take a seat," Dumbledore gestured towards a chair before sitting in his own. He took in the young Gryffindor, so innocent and unknowing. Then he corrected himself, James wasn't the young innocent boy that used to follow his father like a shadow anymore. Dumbledore squeezed the handkerchief in his hand and forced himself to get this over with, "Something incredibly terrible has occurred over night…"
James stared at the Headmaster as he explained the battle. He didn't believe it at first but the wetness in Dumbledore's eyes must have meant it was true. It felt like his mind was going in and out of conscious, his mouth was dry and his heart stopped spontaneously for seconds at a time. The man that had taught him everything was gone. The Noble families had taken his father away from him as a child and now they had taken him away forever. His throat started to hurt and he didn't know if he could cry or not.
"Who?" His voice was barely audible but he knew Dumbledore heard.
"I am yet to find out," Dumbledore averted his gaze to his desk for a moment. James was not his son and it was not his information to give away. Clearing his throat Dumbledore went on, "I will walk you down to Hogsmeade now. It will only be a small funeral. Your mother has stated that in these times there is no need for all the fuss of a proper Noble event."
James wasn't really listening but he nodded, "Sirius, I want Sirius to come home with me. Remus and Peter, too, I won't go without them."
"Very well," Dumbledore said and they exited the office.
The four boys followed Professor Dumbledore through the Entrance Hall. It amazed James that he could still walk. He avoided eye contact with any of the students and just looked straight ahead, willing himself not to think about what was happening. He tried to think about Quidditch, Animagus, anything to get his father out of his mind but everything came back to him.
James didn't see Lily Evans standing off to the side with a group of girls. She watched the Marauders descend the grand staircase. Sirius caught her eye and she sent him a look that she hoped said sorry. He gave her a quick glance then faced away. It was in that moment that Lily knew, for certain, that she would never be like her family. Seeing the pain that they caused was agonising. She didn't like Potter but he didn't deserve this. No one did. And for the first time, probably in all her life, she felt sorry for him. This was bigger than their own problems which seemed so insignificant right now. The Marauders and Dumbledore had disappeared out into the snow and Severus approached her.
"Get away from me," Lily sent him a warning look. The group she was standing with started walking up the stairs and she made to go with them.
"Lily," Severus held the look of excitement in eyes which disgusted her. "Your father did it!"
"And you are proud of that?" Lily crossed her arms and stood a few steps higher than Severus making her taller than him.
"Yes! Finally, Lord –"
"Shut up! How can you be proud of that?" Lily hissed.
"You hate them, the Potter's, you hate them," Severus said.
"So? That doesn't mean that it's okay. This will never be okay! This killing and everything I hate it and I will not have anything to do with it." She said firmly.
"Your father has moved up in the ranks though. Your family is completely involved now," Severus stated, stepping up a step.
"I don't want to be a part of my family anymore," Lily turned on her heel and ascended the stairs to join back up with her group.
Severus was left dumbstruck.
Lily stared up at the lines in the wooden posts that made up her bed. Her younger self would make an effort to find the animals in the lines that swirled into rabbits or mice. This morning she just lied there staring unseeingly at the curves. The thing was, Lily couldn't decide whether she wanted to talk to James today or not. He would be sensitive and she knew the other boys would be protective. That was just the way they were. James still didn't know and she was sure of it. She would know if he knew. Lily wondered how James would react. Days had passed and she was still set on getting him back. He hadn't changed, he was still distant. However, if he found out, she would never get him back. Confused with her own thoughts she sat up and ran her hands down her face. Today would be a long day.
She showered and dressed herself, not saying too many words to the others. Mary was silent and Evelyn was running over her history notes while Amelia and Marlene talked about something else as they prepared for the day. Lily's hands had a slight shake as she did up her tie. She told herself not to be so ridiculous, nothing would be happening today. He wouldn't say it. He wouldn't.
James wasn't at breakfast and Lily wondered if he was at the castle at all. She caught Severus' eye from across the room and he raised a glass towards her. Lily quickly looked away as memories of him being so amazed by her father on this day revisited her. She remembered that it was on this day she decided to hate her father. At least she had a father to hate, said a foreign voice in her head.
"Lily, are you okay?" Mary asked and Evelyn looked up from her History of Magic book.
"I'm fine," Lily rushed and accidently dropped her knife on the plate causing a loud clatter.
"Are you going to talk to James today?" Evelyn asked.
"Um, no, I don't think he'd want to talk to me today." Lily gathered herself and pushed loose strands of hair behind her ears.
"I think he'd want to talk to you more than ever today," Mary said quietly. Lily shrugged, they didn't know.
They made their way to potions and Lily, Mary and Evelyn all sat together at a table in the front row. Majority of the students were in the room talking and sitting on the desks. Lily stared at the door waiting for Slughorn to enter. The longer he took the more possibilities there was for something to go wrong. The door opened and the Marauders walked in. Lily watched as James, lifelessly, broke away from the boys and walked over to her. She felt as if it was just them in the room. All other noise had been blocked out as he stared down at her with his empty hazel eyes.
"Can we do patrol together tonight?" He asked.
"Sure, I'll do that no problem," Lily assured him. She felt so stupid because she didn't know how to act. James gave a small smile then headed up the back.
"I told you," Mary said.
Lily went to say something but she was cut off.
"Peers, peers!" Severus made his way up to the front of the room.
Lily felt a wave of heat sweep over her, "I'm going to vomit."
"What?" Evelyn looked up from her book again.
"Today," Severus went on, "is a very sad day for some people in this room." Lily wanted to turn around, she wanted to see what James was doing but she couldn't. An invisible force held her still, staring at Severus. "Today is the one year anniversary of the death of Lord Potter." There wasn't a sound in the room and a small smirk was growing on Severus' lips.
"That is awfully nice of you to remember, Snivellus, but that will be enough," Sirius said from the back with a warning in his voice.
Lily finally dared to turn around. None of the Marauder's seemed amused. Sirius was standing, throwing his wand from hand to hand. James sat very still looking potentially murderous and Remus seemed to be keeping an eye on Sirius while Peter sat with his mouth open.
"Oh, Black. Don't you think it is about time everyone knew?" Lily felt the colour drain from her face. Where was Slughorn!
"There is nothing to know, Snape," Sirius said dangerously. He looked down to James who was now confused. He wouldn't let it happen this way, he had promised.
"But there is! You know it, I know it, Lily knows it," Severus paced slowly at the front of the room.
"Please, get to your useless and pathetic point so we don't have to listen to you anymore." James grew frustrated with all the talk.
The corners of Severus' mouth began to curve cruelly, "I believe it should be known that –"
"Don't," Lily said but she wasn't heard.
"– it was Lord Evans that killed Lord Potter."
A splash of blood ran across several desks and the door was slammed
Mary and Evelyn exchanged looks of shock through the new empty space between them.
"You knew that?" James was now standing eye to eye with Sirius.
"I wasn't allowed to tell you," Sirius said with a plea for forgiveness in his voice.
"Who told you?" James asked. Sirius quickly looked down to Remus who sat there dumbstruck. "Who!"
"Regulus."
Everyone watched Sirius and James, paying no attention to Severus who was bleeding severely at the front of the room. James turned around to face Remus and Peter, "Did you two know?"
"James… I had no idea," Remus said quietly and believably. Peter shook his head, too lost for words.
James turned back to face Sirius, "Stay away from me." He pushed his chair out of the way and stopped when he reached Snape. With a simple flick of his wand James put the Slytherin through a run of immense pain. It wasn't the Cruciatus Curse but it was the next best thing that James knew. Lily was right, sometimes there wasn't much of a difference between them.
Slughorn arrived in the moment that James left, "What has happened here? Somebody get Madam Pomfrey, immediately!" A lone Slytherin ran to get help while everybody else stayed silent and still.
James pulled the Marauder's Map out of his bag and found her quickly. He smirked at her chosen destination and he used every short cut he knew to get there. James didn't know what he was going to do when he would see her but he would soon find out. He opened the portrait and she stood in the middle of the room facing the other way. She flicked around as she heard him enter. James heard her quick intake of breath and shut the door behind him. The sunlight coming through the windows lit up the dust in the cold air around them.
Lily couldn't be surprised. She just stood there looking at him, at the boy she still loved. A part of her felt that she should be scared of him right now but she couldn't be. An even larger part of her wanted to run her hand down his cheek and kiss him despite what he had just discovered. Lily just waited; he would have to make the first move.
He let his bag fall off his shoulder and land with a loud thump on the floor. "All this time you knew," His voice was weak and Lily realised that she was actually the stronger one in the room, for now.
"I've known for three hundred and sixty five days. I knew on this morning a year ago. I knew as I watched you and the boys follow Dumbledore out into the snow." Lily said to James and he listened silently, "It was then that I decided to detach myself from my family. It was when I discovered the effects of dark magic and when I knew I didn't want to be a part of that."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"If things were different, James, if it were the other way around would you tell me?" Lily questioned. "Would you tell Sirius if you had promised his mother not to inform you that your father killed his? Would you really want to put that extra knowledge on me or Sirius?"
James was silent for a moment, "I would want you to know the truth." Lily shrugged, "How did you do everything with me knowing that? Didn't you ever just want to tell me?"
"No," Lily answered, "I always thought that when we were together we eliminated that part of our lives. The aristocracy, the wealth, the duty," Lily allowed herself to smile in spite of herself, "the deaths. Didn't you just forget about all of that when we were together?"
James looked away from her. She was right because in this moment he found his mind drifting off the matter of the situation. He was forgetting that he was looking at his father's murderer's daughter. In his mind he was just looking at a dark red haired girl who was making no sense and a lot of sense at the same time. He was looking at the girl he cared so much about.
Lily squeezed her fingers with one hand as she watched him look around the room. Being here alone with him made her wonder if something would happen. He told her not to make any plans but could this dreaded event turn into a golden opportunity? No one would find them. She thought that even though they had kept their distances they still held onto everything they had said. He had kissed her when she asked him not to leave her alone, when she had said that she needed him. Surely he knew that that all still remained the same. Lily dared to take a step closer towards him and then another.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly, still walking slowly towards him.
"I don't know what to think," James finally faced her again. She had reached him and now they were close. It wouldn't take much to reach out a hand and touch.
Lily made that last step, her stomach was tightening and she almost felt tears in her eyes. "Maybe you should just stop trying to think." She held her breath as she placed her hand on his arm. She flinched at her own touch but she wasn't embarrassed.
"And what are you thinking about?" James asked, placing a hand on the small of her back and drawing her in. He clenched his jaw, knowing this was all about to fall apart. He would hurt her very soon.
"I'm thinking about when you said you wouldn't leave me alone because I needed you," Lily whispered and looked up into his eyes. She pushed away the strands of black hair then let them all drop back as she moved her hand down his cheek.
"I never said that."
"I asked you and you kissed me," Lily said.
"Exactly, I never said that I would stay with you and look after you because you needed me."
"What do you mean?" Lily stepped away from him, "Are you really just going to leave me with – with him?" Confusion and fear grew in her emerald eyes.
"Snape will always look after you. Like or not, he will protect you."
"Will you listen to yourself?" A panic rose within Lily, "It is Snape! I need you, I've told you this."
"You shouldn't have depended on me, Lily," James said and Lily hit him. She couldn't understand, this was her giving in and Sirius said that James would give in at the same time. Evelyn had also said that he would give in and now was the perfect chance. So why wasn't he doing any of those things?
"How dare you! Don't leave me, James!" She raised her voice while he just stood there.
"There is nothing we can do, Lily. I'm just going to accept it, so should you," James picked up his bag and went to leave.
"You can't just accept it!"
James turned before opening the door. Lily's hair was beginning to fall out and tears began to fall down her red cheeks. "Why can't I?"
"Because you don't accept things! Because you do what you want, damnit!" She grew out of breath, "Don't leave me with him."
"You'll be okay, Lily. I think today has just proven that things are just going to keep coming up that are going to push us further apart. So, to save us more pain I think we should just end things. You didn't really expect me to run up here and restart everything, did you?" James gave her a sceptical glance then shut the door behind him. He heard Lily scream inside but he kept on walking. Perhaps Snape had just done the best thing for the both of them.
Thank you for reading, as always.
Also, good luck to anyone who has exams right now. I know there's many of you!