Last section up! :- )
10.
He takes Kirk again, twice, before falling asleep from sheer exhaustion, waking in the night to find the human snuggled up against him like a soft little animal. He is almost touched at the human's trusting nature but moreover alarmed to find that his lust for him is far from sated, but still burns like a fever in his body and brain. He fucks him while the human practically still sleeps, wishing he could have him always beside him in his bed to do this any time he wishes – before he manages to fall asleep again.
Later in the night Kirk accidentally wakes him, thrashing in his sleep in the grip of a bad dream. He is so clearly distressed that Spock feels a little of his pain and distress in the dream and finds him drawing him to himself gently, forehead to forehead, stroking his temple, willing it away. He could look into the human's head and see the dream but he will not invade him like that again, ever, merely stoking away the badness until the distress subsides and the human is soft and limp once more.
Spock closes his eyes, lost in his own pain, a feeling of deep tenderness for the man beside him so strong it threatens to wash him away. He wonders where it will take them, floundering in this stormy see of emotion and clichéd human thoughts that have suddenly become all too relevant – I never knew – never wanted – could not have known – never known it possible – could not know I could love like this – somebody please help me please – if only – so many if onlys –
The thoughts break apart and fly away, scattering on their current of illogic and finally he sleeps again.
_x_
When he wakes it is lighter and therefore later than his usual waking hour and the human is still fast asleep. He looks at the clock, remembering what day it is and thinks a very un – Vulcan – shit. He shakes Kirk awake, not entirely gently. The human looks at him blearily at first as if he is thinking what the fuck? – before remembrance dawns in the sleepy blue eyes and he smiles dopily.
Spock is up ad dressed in the time it takes kirk to smile and remember. He has no wish to speak first , or speak at all if he has to and has absolutely no idea what he would say as regards last night. But humans are frustratingly slow at waking up and finally it is almost a relief to be able to say –
"Captain, the Enterprise has her official launch in precisely twenty three minutes, you are cutting it very fine if you intend to be on board in time."
Kirk blinks rapidly, realisation seeping in –
"Aww fuck!" he leaps out of bed and starts throwing on clothes. Spock cannot help but be ever so slightly amused as he rushes around cursing as he goes. Suddenly he stops in mid flight and looks at Spock frowning –
"Hey, whaddya mean I'm cutting it fine? – You'll be there too right?"
Spock frowns, before last night he had almost made up his mind to take a commission very much elsewhere – indeed as far from temptation as he can put himself – but at this stage he is not at all sure.
" I have – I have not been specifically assigned to The Enterprise at this time" he says, awkwardly.
"But – Spock –" Kirk looks positively crestfallen, genuinely distressed and with this Spock realises suddenly that he really wants him there – though he is not quite sure yet what this means.
"Captain I – I do not know –" The hell of it being that he no longer knows anything – where he should be going, what he should be doing, how much he can dare hope for – anything.
His heart is beating so fast that it is a hum in his ears. He had never even faintly considered that Kirk might really want him in any way and he feels hope like he has never hoped before, rising in him like a phoenix, burning him with beating wings –
"I have to go –" he blurts, leaving fast, in agony, hearing Kirk call after him helplessly.
_x_
Twenty five minutes later he appears on the bridge of The Enterprise with all the outward appearance of perfect composure –
"Permission to come on board – captain?"
He says it almost with a smile and when Kirk turns round and there is real joy in his face he knows that he has made the right decision. When the captain bounces out of his chair to greet him he feels happier than he has felt in a long time – happier and more right even than he has ever felt, that hope that had so troubled him this morning turning into a spark of perfect promise. He steps forward into Kirk's space with more confidence than he has ever genuinely felt.
"As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully I would like to submit my candidacy –"
He moves even closer – perhaps than he has ever willingly done with another person in public – and a look goes between them that conveys everything that has gone between them in the last eighteen hours along with the first stirrings of a deep affection –
"Should you desire I can provide character references" – he almost smiles and Kirk looks as though, given the circumstances of the previous night he might just die laughing. The warmth and affection in his face are more than Spock ever hoped for –
"It would be my honour commander" He smiles, and for the first time it occurs to Spock that everything is going to be alright.
In fact, everything is going to be wonderful.
_x_
Aaaah I got a happy ending in! ….or maybe a happy beginning! There were points in this when I thought it'd never happen! – But I am a sucker for a happy ending!
Thank you for reading – this was my first Trek – fic so I hope it didn't suck too hard, I know there are loose ends and so much that still needs to be covered/ resolved! That's why I've got a new fic coming soon! I've got a sort of sequel to this that comes between here and "Into Darkness", then I've got one planned for during "Into Darkness"….so much still to do cause I love this 'ship so much!
Watch this space….o_O