It hurts, it hurts so much that I want to forget. I really do…

-:-

His heart thumps wildly against his chest. This can't be happening, he could just not believe that any of this is happening. Are their enemies that heartless enough for them to expose the secret society to the humans and involve them in their world's war? So many innocent people caught in the crossfire.

Ruka clenched his teeth tightly as he ran across the field to find his best friend. Natsume must know what's happening right at this moment; he wouldn't be the next clan head for nothing. But anyway, what are the soldiers doing? They were supposed to guard the whole proximity and report anything suspicious directly to him, Natsume's right hand. Still, someone managed to penetrate their defense? Ridiculous!

If the humans caught sight or knowledge of something they're not supposed to know, their existence for example, they would have to erase each and every student's memory! Not to mention they only have one with that kind of ability in their circle versus the thousands numbers of people inside the academy grounds! With every thought and possibilities running through his mind, Ruka can't help but feel the rage inside of him spread through the course of his body.

He's a calm person in nature, but when push comes to shove, he very well cannot resist the emotions inside.

Ruka looked behind him through the corner of his eyes and saw that calm beauty running closely with him. Damn. If Hotaru Imai comes across their secret, would they have to erase all of her memory regarding them? Even when they first met, their first conversation, and their talk in the library? Ruka closed his eyes.

Damn.

"WATCH OUT!" A girly scream brought him on his right mind, but when he was about to look out for something to be cautious about, he felt a huge and powerful pressure in his gut and sent him flying.

"Ugh…" He groaned as his left hand clutched his sides. He quickly looked up to have a look at his attacker, making no time to revel on his pain. "Oh, shit." Ruka heard himself uncharacteristically cursed softly when he saw that huge oaf of a wolf hovering a dumbstruck yet still cool Hotaru Imai.

It had been too quick, everything happened in an instant. When he saw the wolf about to attack Hotaru, he found his self damning all rules as he quickly, with unhumane speed, jumped in front of the girl, snarled his fangs out, activated his special ability of controlling animals, and ripped the wolf's throat out of its place.

Everything happened in a blink. He really didn't think of anything, it was mere drive of wanting to protect that made him lash out without proper logic. Now that he's still gasping in some air but already calm nonetheless, and seeing the girl look at him with that stoic face but slightly crumpled eyebrows as if questioning him, he immediately reprimanded himself.

No, he isn't regretting saving her life, far from that actually. What he's afraid of now is her reaction to the monstrous behaviour he did and the possibility of having her memories wiped out.

It isn't just a mere crush for the seemingly apathetic girl and it certainly isn't some foolishness like love at first sight. No, he's not in love. At least that's what he believes. He's just merely… attached, for some reason that even he doesn't seem to know or understand. It's instincts, he presume. It's in his blood. Something like an invisible force pulling him towards her.

Throughout the time he's here, he would always find his self looking at that deep amethyst eyes. He'd recognize her smell anywhere from a miles away. He'd know it's her by just her hair. He didn't understand why, and he's not going to start divulging the reason any time soon either. But he knows, he knows that in time, this sort of attachment would grow to something more.

It's just the same as how Natsume seems to be attached to Mikan. It's all instinct. But one day, he's sure it would turn out to be something like his mom and dad, or any other mates for the matter. Even if he doesn't know why, he's sure that he's looking at the very girl possibly to be his partner. Though he isn't sure if that possibility would spare her of erasing her memories because as he stands in her life now, there seems to be so little chance for him to score.

Oh, the frustration.

"What in the world was that?" Hotaru's small but firm voice snapped him out of his daze.

Of course, he didn't know what to answer. He's not in the liberty to tell any information. Should he make her sleep? Heh. That would make her hate him for the rest of her life, would it? But it doesn't matter, once this chaos finished, he doubts she'll remember anything anyway. Well, he can always hunt her down in the future. Maybe to woo her or something, just to make her stay by him. Maybe her subconscious would remember though, and make her hate me in an instant when I approach her in the future even if she doesn't recognize me.

"There are still many of them out there." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, which is why Ruka was so shocked. "Come on, get me to my lab. I know we'll be there in a second with your speed."

Ruka looked at Hotaru dumbfounded. "Uh… em… it's, uh, the school is on… fire."

The girl scoffed at him visibly and pasted a smug look on her face before swinging her nose up high. "Humph. My lab would be the last thing on earth fire would ever consume."

Still confused and lost and not knowing what to do, the boy simply nodded.

-:-

"Woah!" Ruka almost choke on his own saliva when another wolf was sent flying a good distance away before it even got a meter close to them. He's currently running about, trying to find his way back to Natsume with Hotaru riding his back.

They just went off from Hotaru's lab, which was surprisingly unscarred with any sign of fire or trouble. She was right, that place would be the last place fire would ever set its foot on. Heck, that must be the safest place on this school if ever war breaks out. The wonders of a genius, really.

Once they were there, Hotaru rummaged from tons and mountains of her inventions as she grabbed the largest bazooka she has ever made. 'For those damn dogs' she said; and now he knows what it does.

They even went to Mikan's room after that, only to find the girl not there. Which by the way, made a certain genius explode with anger, setting a lot of furniture whirl and break from her bazooka. He didn't know what to say to coax her, because she wouldn't listen at all. She just threatened and cursed the wind under her breath and glared holes, refusing to move an inch while the world around them were blazing mad. Good thing she snapped out of her anger when he shouted 'Natsume! She's probably with Natsume!' Truthfully, he didn't know how that convinced Hotaru to rush out to find the guy. Was Natsume's and Mikan's friendship that obvious that even Hotaru noticed it?

Or maybe it wasn't really impossible for Hotaru to notice. She's Mikan's best friend after all. But still, he sure hoped it would take more time for her to notice all the changes.

"Damn pests. Good thing I'm a genius." He heard her mutter under her breath as she aimed the pressure-firing bazooka on another target and sent it flying.

Ruka nervously laughed. Seriously, who would ever want to crossfire with Hotaru Imai? Certainly not him.

When a flock of unruly raven locks flashed some distance before him, he immediately rushed towards it, knowing full well who that is. When they were a good few feet apart, he felt the girl behind him clutched on him a little tighter. She must have noticed Mikan.

He turned his gaze back to his leader, this time taking notice of the golden brown haired girl standing close behind. Inwardly, Ruka couldn't really believe his theory that the two might be together but here they are, standing close by each other. He's got two pretty convincing reasons behind his mind: either it's all because of Natsume's responsibility to take care of Mikan as a guard for the Princess, or it's about another whole different story. Which part is weighing more, that, he's not sure of.

Hotaru wriggled out of his back even before they have safely landed and ran her way to the Princess. "Mikan!"

Mikan looked at where that familiar voice came from and the sight of Hotaru running to her made her eyes sting with unshed tears. "Hotaru~!" She instantly cried as she flung herself to her best friend. "Thank goodness, you're, you're okay!" Mikan can't help a bucket of relief wash over her when she saw her best friend standing on her own two feet unharmed and certainly still cool.

"Idiot." Hotaru mumbled quietly on Mikan's ears as her hand absentmindedly stroke the crying girl's back to soothe her down. "I was worried about you. Good thing you're not inside."

Hotaru felt Mikan nod against her. "I was with Natsume." Came the point blank and innocent reply. If only she knows what those words carry, she would definitely consider saying that out loud ever again, Hotaru mused.

The genius sighed. "What were you doing out with him?"

"I… I was… I was crying… because you were mad."

Thin line of an eyebrow raised on Hotaru's forehead. She was crying? To him? Really? Now that's news.

Ruka walked to Natsume after having seeing enough of the cuddling best friends in front of him. "Natsume." He was met with a pair of golden eyes, and there and then, he knew he was talking to Natsume as the leader and not his best friend. This instantly made Ruka tense up and all formal. Before proceeding to report his misgivings earlier, he first bowed to the young prince. "As you may have guessed, she witnessed and even partaken in the fight. But I haven't said any information out. I have already analyzed my options and I think it's best –"

"Enough."

And just like that, Ruka fell silent.

Mikan watched behind her blurring vision the silent and too formal of an exchange between the two male, and before she got to question them on what was happening, she felt the thump of the ground as another four people arrived to join them. She can only remember them from the last time she was in Natsume's room. They're part of his circle, she thought, Natsume's guards or something.

"Kokoroyome, what exactly happened?" she heard Natsume's husked but firm voice –displeasure and annoyance and threatening danger obvious in his voice and the way he talks. Just one question, just one sentence and her body went all rigid and stiff. She even saw how the others visibly tensed –even Ruka, the almighty best friend.

Mikan wasn't quite sure how or what to react seeing Koko in such a serious face, but given the situation, she thought maybe even Koko has some kind of seriousness when needed. Right, they were about to discuss about what happened just before Hotaru and Ruka came.

Koko tensed up even more. "Your Highness, as you have instructed, I have been on constant patrol to check with impending danger. I would check up on the academy's proximity every ten minutes, and everything was fine until ten minutes ago. The warnings went so suddenly, we were caught off-guard. It's out of nothingness, Your Highness. And the danger did not appear from outside the grounds, it's from inside the academy itself."

Natsume narrowed his eyes dangerously at the said report, clearly, there was something he did not like. If it's about being caught-off guard or about an inside job which made his mood worse, Mikan wasn't sure. But she knew alright that someone, an enemy, is so close to them.

"Yuu," the leader called out to another blonde just like Ruka, except his hair was shorter. "Go around and start your role. The fire is receding, you can go now to see everyone. Don't miss a single soul." He called out before 'Yuu' disappeared from her sight.

Natsume caught sight of Mikan's confused gaze, and as she's the one they're protecting, he thought it's a must to explain things to her. He rubbed his temple and sighed, "He's got the illusion gift. He can manipulate the brain waves of people, sending false images on their mind. He's the one who takes care of erasing memories." Then, he abruptly turned to the rest of his circle members. "Mochiage, Kitsumene, Kokoroyome, gather the entire troop and circle the grounds. Make sure everything is cleaned up with unnecessary… dogs."

"As for you, Ruka." Natsume finally called out his best friend and right hand man immediately after the three left. "You very well know what you did, and I trust you know what needs to be done."

Ruka closed his eyes. Of course he knows. He has already contemplated on it.

Then, just as the genius that she is, Hotaru jumped in between. "I'm not having my memory erased."

Natsume's golden eyes flashed in anger, making everyone cringe. Even Hotaru, though she's not one to back down. "She's my best friend, and I'm not going to put up on anything that will endanger her life." She continues casually, so casual it scared Mikan. "I saw what happened earlier, and I pretty much know what they are, or what you are. You've got golden eyes, impossible strength and speed. I'm not surprised, I have an abnormal girl for a best friend. And I'm telling you again, I won't have my memories erased."

The golden eyes stared intently at Hotaru, scrutinizing, calculating everything she has said. "I don't need your permission. I can make you."

"No!" Mikan cried out. She immediately went to Natsume, her head raised up in attempt to look him in the eyes. Her heart thumps loud in her chest, realizing that Natsume has that kind of ability. He can very well make anyone do anything on his command. "Please, please, Natsume…"

He looked down at her with those cold eyes which turn gold if he unleashes his restrictions. She's crying again, he thought. In front of him no less. And she's begging him not to make her best friend forget. "Please…" He heard her say again. Somewhere inside him, he felt something twist making him a little uncomfortable. He didn't know why, but it struck him the same time she pleaded coincidentally.

Her hands are fisted on his chest, her eyes full of tears looking up at him. Then, much to his annoyance, she lowered her head and hid it on his chest. Really, what's with this girl being so comfy?

With a frustrated sigh and a defeated frown on his face, he pushed her lightly away from him. "I'll think about it."

Mikan shot her head up. Did she hear it right? He's going to think about it? It may not be the answer she wanted to hear, but this would do for now. If only it would delay having her forget this night. She can't go on through this without her best friend, she needs Hotaru. She needs her best friend to rely on.

Slowly but surely, she found herself walking towards her best friend as she clings to the genius's free arm.

She watched with her own two eyes as fire ate away the woods and foundations of every building. And she also watched as firemen bombed it away with water albeit unsuccessful. The ambulances have scattered and medics are treating those wounded. So much casualties, so many wounded and she couldn't do anything about it. Where are the police anyway? As if answering her unspoken question, sounds of siren echoed near the academy grounds. Why do they always come when it's already finished?

Then a debris caught on fire fell down followed by an agonizing shriek.

Her heart thumped painfully against her chest when she heard it. It's not fair, it's so not fair. Why do these innocent people have to suffer just because of some fictional war they don't even know exists?

So many are crying, so many are hurt, their school is burning down. What did they do to deserve this kind of barbaric treatment? All of the students here doesn't even know what hit them.

Her nose scrunched with the smell of smoke and burning plastics and things.

Why?

She asked herself over and over, still she got no answer.

Don't those guys care when someone dies because of them?

Inhumane.

Unfair.

Scary…

Her hand shot up on her head when she started to feel pain struck her, threatening to split her head into millions of pieces. It felt like someone's chopping her head on a chopping board, and heck it didn't feel any good. She saw black and white spots in her vision, and suddenly, it all went blank.

Hotaru almost toppled down when she felt a dead weight crashed against her, and when she found the reason why, her hands automatically went to catch her best friend. "Mikan!"

Yuu Tobita and Kokoroyome suddenly stopped reporting, their faces distorted to that of shock and concern. Their eyes widened in surprise, and Koko seems to be struggling with staying still. Confused and curious as to why his two men acted that way, he followed their gazes in time to see Ruka running immediately. He furrowed his brows, clearly wanting to know what was happening.

When Ruka stopped and crouched to the ground, he immediately saw Imai who was also in the same position. Imai's face was crumpled in unreadable expression, and when his gaze went down further, it was then that he noticed a slumped body pressed against the girl.

"What's wrong?" He saw Koko stepped forward, his inner battle seemingly finished.

Natsume, the great Natsume Hyuuga watched with horror as the scene unfold right before his very eyes. And that's all he did –watched. No. That's all he could do. He was firm rooted on the ground, insides protesting because of something.

Pathetic.

Gush of wind and sudden flash in the skies shook Natsume out of his trance. Rain? But there wasn't any trace of bad weather toda –

Sudden realization hit Natsume hard and he snapped his head back to the burning academy. Just as he suspected, water immediately drowned out the wildness of that burning fire. This can't be. He shook his head.

He vaguely remembered that time when he set Koko's sleeve on fire. That day, he tried to suppress his presence as much as possible, repressing back his powers until he could; and the most interesting thing happened: a certain brat has read Koko and Ruka's mind. He then concluded that maybe Mikan's ability was being interrupted because of his own aura.

But why is he remembering that anyway?

She's really full of surprises…

He brought his eyes back to the slumped Princess on the ground, the medics trying to carefully move her on a stretcher. "Natsume, are you okay?" A hand hesitantly tapped him from behind. It was Yuu; and he seemed to be worried.

The illusionist watched as Natsume closed his eyes and his hair returned to its original length. When the leader looked at him again, he wasn't greeted with that cat-like golden eyes anymore. Instead, he was greeted by a blazing gaze of bloody crimson. "Yeah." He heard him say.

Natsume looked at what remained of their academy. Then he mentally added,

I just found another one of her surprises, that's all.

-:-

-:-

It hurts, it hurts so much that I want to forget. I really do… But why do I have a part of me that's so afraid to let go?

Dammit, we're already starting with the thesis. God, I'd be busy for sure with no time for relaxing.

So, let me tell you in advance that I might not be able to update fast.

Sorry. But please understand, I'm a graduating college student.

Anyway, here's a treat:

Ch. 11 preview

"I'm not a monster?" He heard his leader's thunderous voice, noticing the tint of amusement in his tone.

"I'm a vampire, human." Natsume walked to the girl, gripping her in the neck and threw her back on the bed. "I'm a walker of the night, a creature all fears." He said as he walked towards the bed, moving over so he could straddle her by the hips. He leaned down, his face on her shoulder, his lips almost brushing her ears; and then he whispered. "I drink people's blood to live. I use my power to entrance them, so I could devour their necks. I corner them, giving no room for escape. And slowly, I sink my fangs on that flesh, tasting that crimson liquid." He chuckled as he watched her tremble.

"I can snap your neck in an instant without any effort, killing you immediately you won't even feel pain. You can hide, but I'll find you; I know your scent from a mile. You cannot even run, because I'll catch you. I can slaughter each and everyone in this godforsaken academy and no one would ever know it's me. Heh, I can even make it look like an accident and no one will question further. Now, tell me again that I'm no monster." He laughed again when she was frozen.