Chapter 10

Noelle tried desperately to keep her tears inside as she threw robes and shoes haphazardly into her open trunk. She paused to wipe her cheeks dry and continued packing as much as she could. Blowing air out between her lips, she shut the lid and latched it firmly. Taking her wand in her hand, she shrunk her trunk and turned for the door.

James stood in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest.

"You can't just leave like this," he stated.

Noelle raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I can James. I need to go to my family," she replied as she pushed her hair from her face.

James pushed himself away from the door frame and came into the room with his face set.

"No, before you go, you have some explaining to do. How could you do that to him? And how could you expect Lily to keep your secrets? Sirius is right, you are selfish."

"How can you expect me to discuss this right now? My mother is dying! I need to go to her!"

"I trusted you Noelle. Even I kept your secrets."

Noelle laughed incredulously.

"What secret have you kept of mine?"

"The fact that you're writing to Olivier. And that you went to see him. I heard you guys talking about him. You don't care about Sirius or any of us for that matter."

Noelle sighed tiredly.

"You don't know what you're talking about, as usual James."

"I know exactly what I'm talking about. How can you go to a family that has all but deserted you? They don't care if you live or die, so why do you care about them?"

Stunned into silence by the brutal truth of James' words, Noelle's jaw dropped. She couldn't think of a single thing to say to disavow what he had said. It was true; no one in her family had even made any attempt to contact her since last summer. Why was she so desperate to return to a family that obviously didn't care about her? She thought very carefully before speaking.

"My family may not care about me, but she's my mother James, and she's dying! I cannot ignore her wish to see me. Can't you understand that?" she pleaded.

"No, I can't." he said bluntly.

"I cannot be like them, I can't! I can't shut my feelings off and on like my father can. She needs me James; she's all I have left." Noelle was nearly hysterical.

"She's all you have left? What about the two girls that have supported you emotionally in the past three years? What about the guy that you claim to love so much? You've had us, and you'll still have us, but I beg you, please don't leave like this. Don't leave in an argument with Sirius."

"He wants out, James. He told me," she said dully.

"He doesn't know what he wants and neither do you. At least talk to him again before you go. Don't do anything rash," he warned.

"Rash?" Noelle asked incredulously. "How can you call me rash? He's the one who overreacts to everything. He's so high strung; I have to walk on eggshells when he's in a bad mood. I can never tell when he will lose control."

"You don't think he was justified in losing it upstairs? Come on, Noelle, he had every right to be angry."

Noelle's eyes widened.

"He told you? I don't believe it!" she seethed. "Is nothing sacred between you guys?"

James sighed heavily.

"Yeah, he told us, but only because he was upset. Just don't throw everything you have away because you had a fight. It's not the right thing to do."

Noelle rubbed her temples. Her head was killing her and she could barely concentrate on keeping her eyes open.

"Okay, James. I will think deeply about it. But I must leave, right now."

She picked up her trunk and slipped it into the pocket of her robes. Looking over her shoulder, she gave James a small smile.

"I'll see you soon. And I'll write to let you guys know what's going on, I promise."

Reluctantly, James nodded. With her head down, she headed for the stairway.

Once in the foyer, Noelle was satisfied that no one was around. She tugged at her robes until they hung correctly and glanced in the mirror to make sure her hair was pinned up neatly. From the archway leading to the front parlor, Sirius watched her silently.

"Noelle," he said quietly, causing her to whip around in surprise.

"I have to go Sirius. I don't have time to argue right now."

He shook his head.

"I don't want to argue. I just want you to know that I'll be thinking about you while you're gone."

"Thank you. But I really must be going."

Sirius nodded and walked slowly to where she was standing.

"I really hate fighting with you Noelle," he murmured.

"I hate fighting too, Sirius, but I'm not ready to apologize, or forgive. You said so many hurtful things to me, and I can't just ignore them. I need to concentrate on my mother."

Sirius nodded again.

"I understand. Travel safe," he said, stepping back slightly.

Feeling slightly suspicious, she smiled uneasily at him before she Apparated to her house in Cannes.

James held Lily's hand tightly in his own as they walked peacefully through the rose garden. The scent of the flowers was heavy in the air, and Lily inhaled deeply.

"Do you think that Sirius and Noelle will work things out?" Lily suddenly asked.

James shrugged.

"I don't know, Lil. They're both pretty angry at each other."

Lily nodded thoughtfully.

"But they love each other right? Isn't love all you need?" Lily questioned playfully.

"Nah, I think you need a little smut in there too," James replied with a wicked grin.

Lily whacked him gently on the shoulder.

"Only a guy would think of something like that. I was trying to be romantic." Lily protested.

"Oh, so you want romantic?" James teased.

"What girl doesn't want romance?" Lily replied.

"I think all girls want romance, even if they think they don't."

Lily smiled in agreement.

"Speaking of romance, can I show you something?" James asked.

"Of course." Lily said agreeably.

Hoping he wasn't being overly forward, he began to lead her to a small cottage that she had never seen before. At the front door, he pulled a small key out of his pocket, and unlocked it.

"What is this place?" Lily cried in delight as she entered the quaint house.

"It's mine, or it will be mine when I graduate. My parents said that I can live here whenever I want, even if it's just on weekends."

"It's gorgeous!" Lily exclaimed. She ran her hand over the soft pale green fabric of one of the sofas.

"Want to see upstairs?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure," she said eagerly.

He led her up the staircase to the second floor. Pausing outside a door, he whispered a quick incantation.

"What did you say?" Lily asked distractedly.

James shook his head. "Nothing."

He opened the door slowly, and Lily gasped.

The room was done in pale blue and white silks. There was a large picture window that looked out over the expansive grounds. The furniture was white pine and shone like honey. What truly took her breath away were the hundreds of white roses she saw everywhere. There were dozens in vases on the tables, the dressers, and the night stand. Rose petals were strewn about the floor and the coverlet on the bed. The heady scent was intoxicating and she breathed it in slowly. Turning to face James, a small smile crept onto her face.

"James Potter, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Why, is it working?"

She tilted her head and smiled deeper.

"Oh, I almost forgot," James said.

With a flick of his wand, the sheer curtains closed over the windows. With another swish, thousands of tiny white candles appeared, some on the tables with the roses, some on the floor, but most hovering over their heads.

Tears were pooling in Lily's green eyes as she stared at him.

"I promised you flowers and candles, didn't I?" James said softly, moving so he was standing in front of her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he leaned forward to kiss her softly. When their lips met, Lily groaned in anticipation. James teased her with his lips, kissing her softly on the mouth, the cheek, and slowly moving down to her neck. Sucking gently on the soft skin, he felt her dig her fingers into his arms to steady herself.

"Lily, I love you so much," he said, barely able to get the words out.

Lily bowed her head so her face was buried in James' wild black hair. She kissed the top of his head and he stood to his full height.

"Is this what you want?" he asked her softly.

"This is exactly what I want," she answered, staring directly into his hazel eyes.

Picking up her small frame easily, he carried her to the bed. He lay her down on the soft blue coverlet and stared down at her. She smiled and reached for him. They lay together, with their legs entwined, kissing deeply for what seemed like hours. Finally, James couldn't take they way she was rubbing unknowingly against his leg any longer. He pulled away slowly and she gave him a look of confusion.

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"Do you honestly think I'm going anywhere?" he replied, pulling his shirt over his head.

She had started to answer him, but the sight of his muscular chest silenced her immediately. He moved so his body was slightly over hers, and began to kiss her again. She returned his kisses with an urgency that hadn't been there before. Bringing his hands to her blouse, he started to unbutton her shirt. He pulled the sides of the shirt away, revealing a pale green lace bra. He leaned down and began to trail kisses over her stomach. She felt her body tense at the new sensations that were traveling through her body. She had never been so in tune to how her nerve endings were reacting as she was right now. His fingers were lightly tracing the waistband of her shorts and she was desperate for him to take them off. She was moving around slightly and whimpering under her breath, so James took that as a good sign. He unbuttoned her shorts and slowly began to lower them down her legs. Her panties matched her bra, and he nearly lost control of himself at how beautiful she looked lying against the pillows. Her silky red hair was spread around her face, and her eyes were closed, giving her face a look of total bliss. He pulled the shorts off completely and tossed them to the floor. Lowering himself on top of her, he pressed his body against hers, feeling her instantly respond to the pressure by wrapping her arms around him tightly and burying her face in his neck.

"I love you so much," she whispered against his neck, her breath hot and steamy.

"You're sure, Lily? You're sure you want this?"

She tilted his head up and gazed at him lovingly.

"I want this; want you, more that I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. I love you," she answered, kissing him firmly.

That was enough of an answer. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, slowly pulling it away from her breasts. A breeze blew the curtains apart slightly and caused her nipples to stiffen, which caused James to become even more aroused. He kissed her neck, caressing her breasts tenderly. She moaned as he brought his lips to her nipples, sucking gently. She cried out as he flicked his tongue over the nub of highly sensitive skin. Running his hands down her sides, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties and removed them smoothly. Now that she was completely naked, he slowed his pace so he could look at her. Her curves were so delicate; her body looked as if it had been carved out of a single piece of ivory. He couldn't resist her any longer. He began to kiss the soft skin on the inside of her knee, lightly massaging the skin behind it. Her head fell back and she sighed happily. Making his way up, he ran his tongue along the inside of her thigh until he reached the place where her legs met. He kept kissing her thigh while he slid his hand so it was cupping her rear. Deciding that it was now or never, he moved over a little to the left. She gasped loudly when she felt his tongue caressing her most intimate place. No one had ever even touched her there, never mind kissed her. She couldn't keep quiet. She moaned loudly as he brought her higher and higher. When he stopped, she brought her head up to protest, but he silenced her with a kiss. Using his fingers where his tongue had just been, she cried out between kisses.

"I can't take it anymore!" she panted.

Placing a hand behind her head, he kissed her deeply as he began to enter her. She cried out sharply at the brief pain, but quickly bit down on her lip, causing him to stop.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked with concern.

She shook her head and kissed him again.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop."

He resumed the back and forth motion, making sure he was going slow enough so that she had time to get used to the new sensations she was experiencing. This however was making it harder and harder for him to control himself. You're going to wait, he told himself, trying desperately to think of Qudditch statistics to keep his mind off of the inevitable orgasm. You're going to make sure her first time is the best it can possibly be.

Within minutes, the unmistakable clenching and lunging of muscles, accompanied by the cries of pleasure coming from Lily brought him back to where he should be. He relaxed his muscles and joined her ecstasy with his own.

He rested his head on her shoulder, trying to steady his breathing. She was quivering in his arms, holding tightly to him as if he were trying to leave.

"I had no idea that that is what it was like," she said shakily.

"That's only the beginning," he said with a smile.

"Now I know why Remus and Nicolette are always disappearing, and why Sirius and Noelle always have those stupid dazed smiles on their faces," she said with a grin.

"You've got a pretty pleased smile on your face too, honey," James said, kissing her on the forehead as he slid off of her.

She smiled in satisfaction and rolled onto her side so she was facing him. He reached for the blanket at the end of the bed and pulled it over them both. She was yawning sleepily as he kissed her again.

"I love you so much," she whispered as she drifted off.

"I love you too," he replied, but she was already asleep, curled safely in his arms.