A/N: *Excuse time* I went out at 12am yesterday then went to a gig last night and I got home at 12pm then had to get up at 6 this morning so I am actually so unbelievably tired. *Excuse time ends* thank you for all the lovely reviews it makes me so happy : ) I had some major writing block today I was like no... I fail at life, I'm horrible, I hate myself, no stop it, you've got to write! The things I do for you. This chapter is terrible and I really couldn't be bothered to proof read it so there are probably so many mistakes. Sorry.

So close

Severus didn't leave, not right then anyway. She made him promise. That made her happier than she could have ever expected. She had never thought she would care about anyone again, not after how Ron turned out, she didn't like not being in control and caring meant losing control but that didn't feel so bad with him.

After checking that he was really alright, to which he replied snappily that he was, she turned away.

As she wandered back into her bedroom, trying to hide her smile from him, she saw him freeze. He ran to her door, trying to get to it before she did but she opened it before he could stop her. She didn't know what he was doing, what could make Snape so protective, then she saw it. The note, lying on the pillow beside her bed where he had laid it before leaving. She had forgotten about it after what had happened but now it all flooded back, everything he had said, then the note he placed beside her that she had disregarded in the enthusiasm to make sure he didn't leave. He dived for it but she was too quick for him as she took out her wand and pointed it at the mysterious piece of paper.

"Accio note."

It flew towards her just before his fingers closed around it. It floated just above his head for a moment, taunting him, before flying slowly straight into her open palm. She had never seen Severus so defensive over anything. Hermione looked him into his dark eyes as she slowly opened the note. He stood slowly and brushed himself down, avoiding her eyes and trying to find a distraction, anything to stop her seeing how this affected him. He watched her face as she read the note, her eyes moving back and forth, eyebrows knitting together as she got further on. He briefly considered erasing her memory but he didn't want to do that.

Hermione Miss Granger.

I don't know what to say. I don't want to go. Despite my efforts, I've somehow allowed myself to fall again. I don't want to do this, I don't want to lose again. When I find Mr Weasley, he is dead. Anyone who could do that to you does not deserve to live. If I do not return, there is only one thing I want you to know, always. You're the one who made me fall, and I promise you I do not let that happen often.

I'm sorry.

This was wrong, he never apologised and he most definitely didn't ever tell anyone what he was thinking, and he didn't want to lose, what did that mean? She could figure it out and she didn't feel like she wanted to. She looked up from the note just in time to see him storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

He would not speak to her for the next few days, he couldn't so much as look at her. You could not simply put it down to Severus though, Hermione stayed away from him as well. She could not work out what she was feeling herself so couldn't find it within herself to reject him. A year ago, she would have done exactly that immediately without even thinking about it, but things had changed. They weren't at school anymore and she couldn't deny the fact that she felt some sort of strange attraction towards him whenever they were close.

They ate breakfast lunch and dinner separately even though he was an atrocious cook and mainly lived on beans and toast and sandwiches.

It wasn't until Minerva arrived for a check up that they had to talk. He met her in the hallway moments before and looked down on her, like when he was her teacher, not her friend, or maybe more. That hurt.

"Forget about it."

She immediately knew what he meant and shook her head slightly. Her lip pouted slightly.

"I don't want to."

Minerva apparated into the room and took a step back when she felt the tension between the two. She then turned and glared at Snape angrily.

"Severus, what did I tell you."

He had the decency to look ashamed, even though this wasn't simply his fault. Professor McGonagall turned to Hermione and her features warmed automatically. She had never really liked Snape ever since they had been heads of opposing houses then he had taken the headmaster job that should have been hers, however briefly.

"Miss Granger, are you settling in alright?"

She nodded silently.

"And the lessons..."

Hermione opened her mouth slightly, then closed it again. She had forgotten about the lessons with all that had happened and it appeared that Snape had as well. However, he was better at improvisation than her and took a shorter time to recover.

"We are letting Miss Granger have a couple of weeks rest after Mr Weasley's antics. I have observed her simple magic and it is excellent, we were planning on starting Occulemency tomorrow."

Minerva nodded, finding no fault in his explanation, and nodded her goodbye to Hermione and then disappeared, but not before a disapproving glance at Snape. Hermione was the best student in Hogwarts and she did not want him ruining it like he always did.

As soon as the headmistress had gone, Hermione sighed and headed for the stairs, thinking Snape would want to be left alone. He grabbed her arm before her foot hit the first stair and turned her to him. She was too close but he couldn't step back now, he was held to her by some invisible force. She could feel it too, the immediate attraction to him as she stood so near she could almost kid herself that she could hear his heart beat. His grip on her wrist loosened but she entwined her fingers with his when their hands fell apart. He didn't even try to pull her hand away, he didn't want to and he was fed up of not doing things just because it wasn't right.

"Miss Granger, I..."

She interrupted him, anger quickly flashing across her face then disappearing.

"Hermione."

He had to force himself to call her by her first name, he had been teaching her for so long that it felt wrong.

"Hermione, about the note..."

She interrupted him again but he didn't have the heart to be angry.

"Severus Snape, don't you dare apologise."

"But..."

She placed her finger on his lips and he felt the familiar electricity.

"No buts."

She smiled as she remembered when her parents used to say that. She took her finger away from his lips when it was obvious he wasn't going to contradict her. His mouth was centimetres from hers now and she could feel his breath tickling her lips but she didn't feel as uncomfortable as she should have.

"I meant every word of it."

He wanted so badly to close that inch between then, to bring his lips to hers, show her that he was not scared, that she could be comfortable with him but he was scared, so scared that she would back away or tell him she didn't like him or that she loved someone else. So they just stood there, an inch apart, his breath laboured as he tried to stop himself leaning in. She disentangled her hand from his and stepped up onto the first step then took his face in both her hands. She leant in towards him and placed her forehead on his so his eyes met hers.

Her eyes were golden brown and they shimmered slightly in the dim light. They told him more than she possibly could. She couldn't decide what to do, but he could tell what she wanted to do. Just as he decided that he should go for it and had started raising his hand to touch her face, she stepped up another step and took her hands away from his face. It felt so wrong without her there, especially when he had gotten so close to doing what he had been deliberating for weeks.

"Good night Severus."

She ran up the stairs and closed the door to her room quickly before collapsing against it and sinking down to the floor completely unaware that she had been just about to get what she wanted.