Chapter Ten
"Well, well, well... what have we here?"
Alan's tone is condescending and cruel. He's like a cobra ready to strike, and I know I have to tread carefully. I can already feel Natalia tensing at my side.
"Hello, Alan."
"Olivia," he replies, drawing out every syllable in my name. "And Natalia," he adds, his gaze shifting to her. "You're both looking…" he pauses as if searching for the right word, "… well."
"And you're looking smug as ever."
"Well, I admit that it's hard not to look smug when I've just stumbled upon the way to finally bring Emma back into the fold of the Spaulding family, where she belongs."
"Oh?" I take a step closer to him. "Enlighten me."
"I'd be happy to," he smiles coldly. "Your rather public display of affection would appear to suggest that you and Natalia are indeed lovers… lesbian lovers, isn't that right?"
I hear Natalia suck in a quick breath beside me, and I sigh, realising there's no point in arguing. Besides, I'm not about to let Alan – of all people – demean what Natalia and I have together.
"Yes, we are," I reply, straightening my back defiantly. "And what do you have to say about it?"
He shrugs innocently, and I have to clench my fists at my sides to stop myself from ripping his head right off his shoulders.
"Only that it would seem that Doris was correct: you two are providing my granddaughter with a morally questionable living environment."
"Morally questionable?" Natalia erupts, pushing past me to confront Alan herself. "What exactly do you mean by that?"
He's obviously startled by her open hostility, but he quickly hides his surprise behind his usual air of superiority.
"My dear Natalia, of course I don't want to judge your life choices. Or yours, Olivia," he adds magnanimously, causing me to snort in disbelief. "But surely I can't be expected to stand by and watch as my granddaughter is… corrupted in this way?"
"Corrupted?" I hiss, leaning close to him. "Listen, Alan, I know what you're trying to pull here. You're not fooling anyone, least of all me. You want to try and make me look like an unfit mother. Well, it isn't going to work. Yes, Natalia and I are together. But that certainly doesn't mean we're unfit to raise Emma. In fact, I know Emma would be very eager to tell you just how happy she is at the farmhouse with us."
"Well, children will say anything, won't they?" he says snidely. "That's why it's the courts that decide these matters in the end."
My voice dips as I take another step closer. "We're a family, Alan, and I'm not going to let you – or Phillip, for that matter – come between us."
"Are you threatening me, Olivia?" Alan asks, feigning surprise.
I nod determinedly. "I will do whatever is necessary to keep you and Phillip away from my daughter."
Alan is about to say something else, but suddenly we're interrupted by the shrill ring of Natalia's cell phone.
"Sorry," she says absently, digging the phone out of her purse. When she glances at the caller ID, her face falls. "It's Frank."
Dread creeps into my stomach. "Coop?"
"Maybe it's good news," Natalia murmurs as she answers her phone. She's quiet for a moment, and I watch as the colour slowly drains from her face.
"Oh no. God, I'm so sorry, Frank," she says, turning away.
I glance at Alan, but he's deep in thought. Natalia hangs up and turns back to face us, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Is it…?" I trail off, unable to finish the thought.
Natalia nods once. "Coop died."
"Oh my god." I enfold Natalia in a tight embrace. "Poor Coop."
By the time we pull away from each other, Alan has already disappeared.
"He probably ran off to put together a case for why he's not responsible for Coop's accident," I sputter angrily.
"Well, at least his focus is off us."
"For now." I shake all thoughts of Alan from my head and turn my attention back to her. "Frank must be broken up."
"He sounded awful," she nods. "Actually, I was thinking that maybe I should go to the hospital to see if there's anything I can do."
"The hospital?"
As much as I try to stop it, I can feel a flash of jealousy working its way through me like a poison, and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from saying something I know I'll regret. But apparently Natalia senses my feelings because she grasps my hand firmly.
"Just for a little while," she explains. "I can't leave the Coopers to deal with this on their own. They've been so good to me, Olivia. I want to help them if I can."
I force myself to smile understandingly. "I'm sure they'd appreciate that. Hey, maybe I'll come with you…?"
"You don't want to leave Emma alone with Jane at the farmhouse tonight," she reminds me. "In fact, why don't you take the town car and pick up Emma at the theatre on your way home? I'll get a cab to take me to the hospital."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," she nods, already heading toward the door. "There's a taxi stand right outside. Don't worry, Olivia. I'll call you later, okay?"
I reach out and squeeze her hand, suddenly needing some form of physical connection before she leaves. She flashes me a grateful smile.
"Keep me updated."
"I will," she promises. Then she disappears out the door.
Four hours later, I'm lying in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind heavy with thoughts of the Coopers, Alan and Phillip, and Natalia. True to her word, Natalia called me once from the hospital, but our conversation was cut short when a doctor came in to talk to the family about Coop. I haven't heard anything from her since then.
I know it's kind of Natalia to support the Coopers, but I still feel an irrational, gnawing pang of jealousy at the thought that she'd rather be with them than me. As certain as I am that she doesn't have feelings for Frank, I'm just as sure that he still harbours his schoolboy infatuation with her, and I worry that her presence at the hospital will only encourage him.
Of course, I know there's one easy way to clear things up, to make it obvious to Frank that he and Natalia will never be together: we could just tell him – and everyone else in town – about our relationship. We could stop living in fear and secrecy and be honest about what's happening between us.
But as soon as my mind begins turning over that thought, I can't help but remember Alan's triumphant smile when he saw Natalia and me kissing at Towers. I don't know exactly what he has planned, but I'm certain it isn't good. The news of Coop's death may have shifted his focus away from us for now, but it won't take long for him to start scheming to find a way to use our relationship against us. And, now that Phillip is back in town, I feel more certain than ever that the two of them will join forces to try to take Emma away from me.
Heaving a long, frustrated sigh, I glance at the clock and see that it's nearly one o'clock. For what feels like the hundredth time that night, I wonder where Natalia is and why she hasn't made it home yet.
But then, almost on cue, I hear a tentative knock at my bedroom door, and I turn to see Natalia peering uncertainly at me.
"Hey."
"Hey," she echoes. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," I reply, pushing down the sheets beside me in a silent invitation.
She enters quickly, shutting the door behind her. Before she gets under the covers, I see that she's wearing nothing but a long black t-shirt that hugs her curves, and I feel an immediate responding flutter travel deep through my abdomen.
"Why are you here?" she asks once she's curled up beside me.
"This is my bed," I reply with an hesitant laugh.
"I thought you'd be in my bed," she chastises gently. "I wanted you to be there."
Then, without another word, she reaches for me. I feel her hand slip under the waist of my silk pajamas and between my thighs, and I gasp in surprise when she starts stroking her fingers against me.
"Natalia…" I whisper, arching my back to draw her nearer. I'm trying to grasp onto a rational thought, but the way she's touching me is making it impossible to think clearly.
"What?" she asks innocently. In one smooth movement, she gets on top of me, straddling my hips. Her hand never stops its rhythmic motion.
"Shouldn't we… uh, talk, or something?" My words are already coming out in breathless gasps.
Natalia shakes her head and bends closer, her hair falling down to frame her face.
"I don't want to talk right now," she says, her tone both determined and sad.
I want to ask her if she's okay, but then as if to emphasise her desire to avoid conversation, she slips her fingers inside of me, and I instantly forget how to speak. There is nothing soft or gentle about the way she's touching me – her strokes are hard and fast, and she watches as I react to everything she's doing. With her free hand, she takes one of mine and slides it under her t-shirt and between her legs. It's only then that I realise she isn't wearing any underwear. She begins rubbing my hand against her in time with her own thrusts inside me, and I nearly come undone when I feel the evidence of her arousal against my fingertips.
The only sound for the next few minutes is our laboured breathing as we move together at an increasingly frantic, almost desperate, pace. Then, without warning, Natalia throws her head back and releases a strangled cry, and the feeling of her muscles clenching around my fingers and her hips bucking against me is more than enough to send me tumbling over the edge right along with her.
She collapses on top of me, moaning softly as our movements gradually slow. Glancing at the clock, I'm startled to discover that she's been in my bed for all of ten minutes.
"God, Natalia," I breathe, tangling my fingers in her hair. "You're amazing."
She stays silent and doesn't raise her head from where she's buried it against my neck. Suddenly I feel her chest heaving against me with quick, hitching gasps.
"Hey, what's the matter?" Gently, I lift her head to meet my gaze. Tears stream down her cheeks, and I wipe them away with my thumbs.
"I just…" she whispers brokenly. "I'm sorry, it's hard to explain."
"That's okay," I soothe. "Just talk to me."
She takes a deep, shaky breath before she dips her head onto my shoulder again. Her slight frame curls around me and I pull her close. After a minute, she starts talking, her voice low and tentative, sounding almost ghostly in the stillness of the room.
"It was so hard to see Coop lying there like that, you know?"
"Because of Gus," I guess.
"Not just that," she replies. "It's also the idea of losing a child. Buzz is completely torn apart. I honestly can't imagine the horror of what he's going through. I mean, it's bad enough that Rafe is in jail, but the thought of him dying…" I shudder sympathetically, and she tightens her grip on my waist.
"The thing is," she continues softly. "It made me think about Phillip and Alan, and what if they really do try to take Emma from us. Olivia, we can't let that happen. No matter what, we have to make sure we keep Emma safe." She lifts her head to look at me and her eyes are full of tears again. "Even if it means that we can't be together."
"What?" Suddenly I'm afraid of where this conversation is heading.
"Olivia, I told you that I wouldn't let anything happen to your little girl, and I meant it. I won't let Alan and Phillip take her away from you just because of me." She shakes her head resolutely. "If our relationship gives them any ammunition to start a custody battle, then…"
She trails off weakly as all her resolve crumbles. More tears spill down her cheeks and she drops her head to my shoulder.
"Hey, hey, Natalia," I murmur, rubbing her back. "Don't talk like that, okay? Alan and Phillip aren't coming anywhere near my daughter; I can guarantee you that. But I can't do this without you. I need you."
She releases a grateful sob and tilts her head to place a soft kiss against the side of my mouth.
"I need you, too," she admits. "But, I'm afraid, Olivia. I'm so afraid of losing you and Emma. I don't know what I'd do if…" She shivers and pulls me snugly against her as if she fears I really might disappear.
"I'm not going anywhere," I reassure her. "And neither is Emma. Nothing is going to happen to our family."
"How do you know that?" she whispers. "How do you know nothing will happen?"
I smile grimly and pull her closer. "Because I won't let it."
tbc