Prompt: Zoo

By: Stutley Constable

Of course, I should have known better than to trust myself that that my friend Holmes would behave himself when it came to outings, especially since I had made the decision to visit the zoo for the day, and take Holmes that day. I shudder as I remember the conversation we had that morning.

"Watson, I'm bored."

"Well you know well enough that I am not your personal jester Holmes, so I suggest that you go outside for a change."

Since when would that benefit me?

It could stimulate your mind I suggested

"Pah! Just because outings stimulate your mind doesn't mean they'll bring the same stimulation for my mind. My mind needs cases – it rebels against-"

"Stagnation I know." I growled. Would he ever just do something relatively calm and normal for once?

With a sigh, I pick up the newspaper and begin to skim through the headlines, trying to find something that would appease my companion's boredom.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to find you something to do and ignoring you, neither of which are working." I snap, finally giving up on the newspaper

Holmes just glared and began muttering curses under his breath as he spread himself on top of his armchair in a dramatic pose.

Just then, our dog, Toby, came wandering in from the kitchen. He whined at Holmes.

"Don't bother with him Toby, he's being grumpy again."

In spite of this, however, he reached out and gently stroked the dog's soft ears.

"Hm. Why can't humans provide as much pleasant company Watson? Unlike humans, animals seem to revel in affection like Toby here, which makes for beneficial companionship."

I grinned as I thought of an idea.

"Well Holmes, I suppose it's too bad you wouldn't know about animals. It's not like you can visit the zoo to find out any of this."

I chuckled at the idea, before reaching out for my pipe.

"Tarry a moment, Watson!"

I paused, my hand hovering just over where my pipe was sitting.

"Grab your coat, we are going out."

"Well, where to my dear friend?"

"Why, to the zoo, my good doctor."

…

It is at this point that I regret letting out Holmes. He was wilder a beast than any that could inhabit the zoo.

For Holmes had separated himself from me half an hour into our visit, and by the time he had been found, birds were flying over the people who were screaming an evacuating the premises, the reptiles kept themselves out of reach and even the hippopotamus had escaped!

As I searched frantically for the man responsible, I spotted a tall, thin young man with black curly hair about to open a cage containing snakes- to be specific, rattlesnakes.

"Holmes, don't release the snakes!" I cry, running as fast as I was able to try and stop him.

"Ah, hello Watson," he said cheerfully as if none of the chaos which engulfed the zoo of London were of any concern to him. But, as this is Sherlock Holmes I am talking about, he definitely wouldn't care less.

"Please tell me that that cage is still locked, Holmes." I gasped, my hands tightening around my cane.

"What- with this?" he remarked innocently, holding a lock in his sinewy hands.

"You idiot! Now all of the snakes will escape."

"Err, Watson…" he whispered, pointing at my leg.

I am ashamed to admit that I let out a rather un- manly shriek when I noticed that a now escaped rattle snake had coiled itself round my good leg.

Presently, a man who I recognized as working in the zoo- alongside the animals i.e. feeding and training them- had to grab bait and tempt the snake to come and eat something, in order to lure it from me. It gave in, and slowly unwound itself from my leg and slithered towards its dinner.

Presently, the man looked at me. His face showed a hint of concern.

"Are you alright sir?"

"Yes he'll be fine my good man." Holmes burst out quickly. "And now if you will excuse us…"

He quickly steered me away. But not before the manager, a tall, fairly stout gentleman who resembled a grizzly bear had us by the ears.

"Which of you were responsible for this?" He yelled, raising his fist and allowing it to collide into the desk like a hammer thumping a nail into the ground.

Holmes stood up straight. He looked tall, powerful dignified, like a soldier. It was one of those moments that I felt a deep respect for my friend.

"It was me."

He spoke it, in a calm, stoical manner. There was no trace of fear to be observed upon him anywhere.

It was at that moment that I felt bad for allowing my beloved friend to take all the blame. I might not have been responsible for allowing the animals to escape the cages and terrorising the people of London. However, I was responsible for not keeping the city's biggest beast under control- or in the cage of the regulations of society.

"I too bear some responsibility." I say. "I had neglected to tell him from…"

"SILENCE!" He boomed, thumping his desk again. You, sir, are banned from the zoo!" His fat, sausage like finger was pointing at Holmes

"Suit yourself. I never liked zoos anyway." He began to stride away, but stopped. "Oh, I forgot to mention, judging by the state of your suit, your wife has recently decided that she would fancy a turn on committing adultery."

The man in question could only stare, the expression on his face reminding me of a dying fish, whilst his mouth opened and closed continuously. He shook his head dazedly, and then managed to find the words he needed.

"HOW DARE YOU SIR! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN WRING IN YOUR NECK!"

"And that's my standing ovation." My friend remarked dryly- before grabbing my sleeve and speeding away from the manager as fast as the both of us would go, whilst the manager just cursed us both for having decided to come here. He also shouted that we were forbidden to come back under any circumstances.

…

Unfortunately Mrs Hudson had heard about the incident, and was so furious; she made us do without supper.

"It serves you right!" She sniffed. Whatever were you thinking Holmes? Terrorising the people of London in such a manner! I hope you have learnt your lesson!"

The door slamming signalled her exit.

"Well Holmes, you've proved one thing today."

"And what is that, my dear Watson?"

"That not all animals are capable of affection."

"That is true. Well, from now on, I will stick to Toby's affections from now on. Don't you think so Watson?"

"So long as there are no snakes involved, I'm happy." I sigh.

I should have known not to say it that way when I found a lion growling at me in our flat the next day.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this piece as much as I enjoyed reading it! Reviews welcomed! ;)