Telephones, Tension, Taxes and Teachers
Thursday morning started with a bang. Or a screech, depending on which end of the phone you were on. Lorelai heard it ringing as she galloped down the stairs, preparing to head to Luke's for breakfast. She snatched the phone from the charger and sang out, "Hello!"
"Lorelai Victoria Gilmore!" he mother shouted.
Lorelai's jaw dropped as she remembered that they had not called Richard and Emily since they arrived home. "Danes," she murmured automatically. "Mom, I'm so sorry!" she said in a rush.
"You should be," Emily said stridently. "Would it have killed you to let us know you were home safely?" she demanded.
"No, no, I'm so sorry," Lorelai repeated, sinking to the couch. "I don't know what to say, things just got so crazy when we got back," she said softly.
"What? Was there a hot game of Duck, Duck, Goose going on in that ridiculous town square of yours?" Emily asked snidely.
Lorelai bristled and said, "No Mom, there was a flood, a fire and a funeral!" She sat up stared at the phone incredulously. "Remember? That's why Luke and I left our happy little slice of heaven and returned to Connecticut. It wasn't just because we enjoy bring berated on a daily basis," she said sarcastically.
Emily paused and said stiffly, "I was worried about you."
Lorelai let her shoulders droop and said, "I know, and I am truly sorry that we didn't call." Emily was silent for a moment, so Lorelai asked softly, "Mom?"
"I was very sorry to hear about your friend. I met her at the wedding, she seemed like a very nice lady," Emily said finally.
"Thank you, she was a great lady," Lorelai replied. She sighed and said, "We have so much to tell you, I don't even know where to start."
"Tell us about what?" Emily asked.
"Everything that has taken place in the last week," Lorelai said with a laugh. "I've put our honeymoon pictures on a CD for you. I bring it tomorrow and we can fill you in on everything then," Lorelai told her gently.
"Tomorrow?" Emily asked hopefully.
Lorelai laughed and said, "Tomorrow is Friday, isn't it? I haven't completely lost all sense of time have I?"
"So you plan to come to dinner?" Emily asked, needing to clarify.
Lorelai shrugged and said, "If we're still invited."
"Of course you are," Emily answered briskly. "Will Jess be joining the three of you?" she inquired.
"I don't think so," Lorelai answered cautiously. "I think he'll be needed at the diner."
"Well, let me know if he can make it, so that I can plan accordingly," Emily commanded. "We'll see you at six?" she asked.
"See you then," Lorelai said as she pressed the button to disconnect the call. She flopped back onto the couch, heaved a huge sigh and whispered, "Welcome home."
Lorelai strolled into the diner later that morning and yelled, "Burger Boy! Where's my hunky hubby?"
Luke popped up from behind the counter and said, "Looking for the name of a good divorce lawyer."
Lorelai slid onto her stool and cooed, "You would never divorce me. You love me too much!"
Luke smirked and said, "I do, but I won't like you for much longer if you insist on calling me that."
"I have called you Burger Boy for years," Lorelai said, affronted.
"And I have hated it for years, but I have learned to live with that one. It's the other," he said as he turned to pour her a cup of coffee.
"Hunky hubby?" she asked with a grin.
"That's the one," he said with a grimace. Luke slid the mug in front of her and asked, "What happened to 'babe' or 'Luke'?" he asked. "Hell, I'd probably prefer 'Duke' over that other one," he griped.
Lorelai looked at him with wide eyed innocence. "But you are hunky, and you are my hubby," she said insistently.
Luke sighed and looked at her darkly. He leaned across the counter and whispered, "I'm planning on cooking lima beans tonight."
Lorelai shuddered and said, "Luke! I'll call you Luke!"
He rocked back on his heels and crossed his arms across his chest. "I thought you'd see it my way," he said with a satisfied smirk.
"How about Pookums?" she asked with a grin as she lifted her cup to her lips.
"How about Brussels sprouts?" he shot back.
"Sweet cheeks?" she asked.
"Tofurkey?" he offered.
Lorelai gasped and said, "You wouldn't bring that into our home!"
"Mrs. Kim would give me the recipe," he said with a confident smile. He tucked his chin to his chest and said, "She likes me."
"You win," Lorelai said with a pout.
He glanced around the deserted diner and whispered, "I won you," as he gave her a quick kiss.
"You are hunky," she whispered back.
Luke shrugged and said, "If you think so, I can live with that." He smiled and asked, "Breakfast, Lunch or Brunch?"
"Ugh," Lorelai grunted. "I wanted breakfast, but Emily Gilmore called and now I am thrown into a completely different food continuum," she grumbled.
Luke smiled and said, "We can probably wormhole you back to breakfast if you'd like."
"My sweet geek," Lorelai said as she ran her fingers over the back of his hand. She grinned and said, "I'll take the wormhole for $1000, Alex. Waffles, sausage, toast and eggs, over easy," she said quickly.
Luke nodded and said, "Got it, eggs over easy, a sausage patty, oatmeal and toast."
Lorelai narrowed her eyes and warned, "If I eat that, you cannot force the vegetable issue later."
"Deal," he said as he turned toward the kitchen.
"I want brown sugar in my oatmeal!" she called.
"Way ahead of you," he said with a wave of his hand.
Caesar was wiping the empty tables and setting up for lunch when Luke placed her plates in front of her a few minutes later. "You gonna try to go to Sookie's again today?" he asked.
"As long as she's not heaving up her guts," she said with a shudder. Lorelai smiled brightly at him and asked, "Can I have some maple syrup?"
Luke blinked and asked, "Do I want to know what you plan to put it on?"
"Probably not," she answered. Luke looked around behind the counter and reached for two small to-go containers of syrup and placed them next to her plate. Lorelai stared at the miniscule offering, her mouth agape. Her eyes flashed to his as she whispered, "Food Fascist."
Luke pointed to the packages and said, "That should be plenty to dip your sausage in and dose up your oatmeal."
"You're getting a little out of hand now, bud," she said crossly as she peeled back the foil on the syrup and began to dig in.
"I have only tampered with one meal a day," he said indignantly. "I have not said anything about your massive candy consumption, denied you your precious burgers, or curbed your coffee intake," he pointed out.
"I need the coffee," she said nervously, hooking her finger through the handle of the mug protectively as she shoveled eggs into her mouth with the other hand.
"And I give you the coffee," he answered calmly.
"Don't take the coffee," she begged before she stuffed an entire toast triangle into her cheek.
"Soon you may not be able to have the coffee," he pointed out and he watched her chew.
Lorelai swallowed the toast, took a greedy sip from her mug and said, "Forget about the baby thing."
Luke raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly. "Fine," he said in a low voice. "Forgotten." He jerked his thumb toward the back. "I've got stuff to do," he said briskly. "Caesar, I'll be unloading," he called as he turned and walked off into the storeroom.
Lorelai scarfed down the rest of her breakfast, popping the last bite of syrup drenched sausage into her mouth and went to look for him. "Luke?" she called as she rounded the corner to the storeroom. She watched as he ripped open the top of a box and broke the seal on the other side. "What's up?" she asked.
"Got stuff to unload," he said gruffly.
She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "You mad at me?" she asked.
"Nah, why would I be mad?" he asked as he slammed jars of pickles onto a shelf. "Hey," he called as he bent down to lift a ten pound bag of coffee. "You think we should get a car seat for this?" he asked, his face a picture of innocent concern. "Maybe one of those harness things to carry it around on your chest," he suggested.
"Luke," she said with a laugh, "I was just kidding."
"I'm not," he grumbled.
"I get it," she said, her patience running thin.
"Do you?" he asked pointedly.
"I do," she said, planting her hands on her hips. "You know, for a guy who loves me and doesn't want to change me, you sure don't seem to like who I am," she said flatly.
Luke looked across the room at her and said, "I like you fine."
"Really? You like me fine? Well, that's nice," she said snidely, turning to open the door.
Luke crossed the space between them and pressed the door closed with the heel of his hand. "There are some things that shouldn't be a joke," he hissed.
"There are many things that you need to lighten up about," she hissed back. "Now let me out," she demanded.
"No," he answered calmly.
"Yes," she replied.
"No," he said again, looming over her. "Don't you think I know that you hold all the cards?" he said softly.
"What?' she said, aghast.
"You do," he insisted. "You can change your mind at any time. You can walk out tomorrow and everything I've hoped for would be gone," he said softly. "You can decide that you never want kids, and my chance is lost, because you are the only woman I will ever be with for the rest of my life," he said with an edge of desperation.
"Luke," she said softly.
"You may think its fun to tease and joke about. You can decide if and when, whatever, and I just have to take it," he told her. "But, I don't have to think its funny," he said as he lifted his hand from the door and motioned that she was free to leave.
"You know I want this as much as you do," she said angrily.
He shook his head and said, "You have to understand, Lorelai, you pulled the trigger. You said go. You can't expect me to start and stop," he said adamantly. "How do I know if you are kidding, or if you've really changed your mind?" he whispered.
"I'm not going to change my mind," she said firmly.
Luke closed his eyes and said, "I feel completely out of control."
"Of what?" she asked.
Luke opened his eyes and laughed bitterly. "My life," he answered shortly.
"All of it?" she asked, taken aback.
"New wife, new marriage, new home, new business, no, two new businesses and an old one," he corrected his list. "I don't know what drawer my wool socks are in," he told her. "I don't know which box we stored my tax files in. I don't know if it's okay to use your shaving cream if I run out or if I should wait until I can get my own," he said softly. Luke leaned against the door and hung his head. "I don't know how I'm going to run a diner and a bakery. I don't know if I want to, but I don't have choice. I don't know if we are ever going to be lucky enough to have a baby. If we do, I don't know that I'll make a very good father," he confessed.
"You are going to be a great father," Lorelai insisted. "Look at Jess, look at Rory," she whispered.
"Jess, well, he's doing okay, I guess. Rory is just Rory," Luke said with a shrug.
Lorelai nodded and said, "And you helped get them both there."
"I don't know what's wrong with me," he said quietly.
Lorelai slid down the door and pulled him down to the floor with her. "Well, for starters, you have an insensitive wife who cracks stupid jokes," she said with a smile. "I have your wool socks," she confessed.
"You do?" he asked, jerking his head up.
"My feet were cold, so I swiped them," she said with a rueful smile. "Sorry."
"That's okay," he said with small smile of his own.
"Your tax files aren't in a box, they are in the desk drawer with mine," she told him. "If you don't mind smelling like baby oil, you are more than welcome to my shaving cream," she said gently. "We are going to figure out how to get you some more help in both the diner and the bakery, but you are going to have to learn to be the boss, and not the guy who does everything," she told him firmly.
"I never wanted to be anyone's boss," he grumbled.
"The price you pay for success," she said softly. "Luke, look at me please," she said in a firm tone. "Let's be very clear here. I want to have your baby. I want it as soon as you can possibly slip that bun into the oven. Which, considering that you now own a bakery, you should get to be pretty good at," she said nudging him with her elbow. Luke chuckled appreciatively, locating his sense of humor again.
"I said go, I pulled the trigger," she said with a nod. "We're not stopping now, no matter what we have to juggle." When Luke nodded she said, "I eat the salad, I drink the milk, and if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed that I haven't been drinking coffee all day, just in the mornings."
Luke blinked as he searched his memory and realized that she was telling the truth. "Water," he said softly.
"Yeah, I've been trying to drink more water," she told him. "But most of all, you should know by now that no matter how much I tease or joke, I would never deny you anything you truly wanted," she said in a hurt tone.
"I know," he said, chastised.
"I know we have both been all over the board with this baby talk lately, but it all boils down to this. You want a family, I do too," she said simply. She took a deep breath and continued. "Now, I know you have been sad. I know you feel disjointed, but you have got to toughen up. Tomorrow we dine at the Gilmore's, and you had better not be showing any signs of weakness," she warned direly.
Luke chuckled and said, "I have gotten pretty soft lately."
Lorelai smiled, rubbed his thigh and said, "Soft is not the word I would have chosen."
Luke smiled and said, "Not with you nearby."
They stood at the door of the Gilmore mansion at 5:58 Friday evening. Luke pressed the bell and they waited nervously. They heard Emily yelling at the maid as she answered the door and smiled brightly. "Hello! Welcome back! Come in, come in," she said jovially.
"Totally bi-polar," Lorelai whispered into Rory's ear as they stepped into the house.
"You look terrific," Emily said as they handed their coats to the cowering maid. "Luke, that tan really suits you," she complimented as she led them into the living room.
"Thank you, Emily. We had a wonderful time," he said graciously.
Richard stepped out of his study and said, "Emily, you didn't tell me they were here!"
"They just walked in," she assured him. As Luke and Richard shook hands, Emily whispered, "I think your father pined for Luke, he was stuck with us girls," as she winked at Rory.
They settled in with their drinks and Emily asked, "Well, how is everything? Is the diner okay? Was there a lot of fire damage to the inn?"
Luke nodded and said calmly, "The diner is fine. The inn, however, is not."
"Mia has decided to close the Independence Inn," Lorelai announced solemnly.
Richard sat up on the edge of his seat and asked, "Was the damage that extensive?"
"Not irreparable, but Mia was ready to sell anyway," Lorelai told them. "She knew that Sookie and I had plans to open an inn eventually, and with the Dragonfly as a possibility, well, she decided to kick us out of the nest," Lorelai said with a shrug.
"So, you are going to buy the Dragonfly," Richard asked.
"Well, not really," Lorelai hedged.
Richard's eyebrows shot up. He looked at Luke and asked, "Wasn't that the agreement? Not to be insensitive, but wasn't the owner putting that into her will?"
Luke nodded slowly and said, "That was the agreement, but Fran changed it while we were on our honeymoon."
Watching them carefully, Richard realized that neither of them looked to be upset, so he calmly asked, "Changed it how?"
"Fran left the Dragonfly to me and Sookie in her will," Lorelai told them softly.
"She just left it to you?" Emily asked. When Lorelai nodded, Emily asked, "There were no heirs, no relations?" When Lorelai nodded again, Emily sank back into her chair stunned. "I've never heard of such a thing," she murmured.
"She wanted Lorelai and Sookie to have it," Luke said softly. "She knew they would restore it, make it into a source of pride again," he said squeezing Lorelai's hand.
"Incredible," Richard whispered.
"That's only part of it," Lorelai said gently.
"There's more?" Emily asked.
Luke nodded and said, "Fran owned Weston's Bakery too."
"The place you buy you pastries from when you don't have time to bake?' Richard asked.
Emily whipped her head around and asked, "How do you know that?"
Lorelai smirked and said, "Yeah Dad, how do you know that? You been casing Stars Hollow eateries?" she teased.
"Luke told me," Richard said casually, hoping his affection for cheesy apple pie could remain a secret.
"She left it to me," Luke said, effectively silencing the room.
"The bakery?" Richard asked blankly.
"And her sugar cookie recipe," Rory said with a happy nod.
Emily blinked and asked, "You're going to run both a diner and a bakery?"
"Yes," Luke answered with more confidence than he truly felt.
"Dinner is ready, Mrs. Gilmore," the hapless maid said meekly from the doorway.
Emily glanced at her watch and sighed. "It's early, but we'd better go in, or it may be burned to a cinder," she said snidely.
When they were all seated at the table, Richard asked, "Do you have a good tax attorney?" as the salads were placed in front of them.
"I have an accountant," Luke answered as he focused on his food.
Richard shook his head and said, "You are beyond a C.P.A. now, my boy. You need a tax attorney. Someone who knows how to work the laws to your best advantage," he said firmly.
"Stewart Blackman," Emily said with a nod.
"He's been handling our tax issues for years," Richard said with a nod. "I'll get his number for you after dinner." Luke nodded, but remained silent. Richard chuckled and said, "Suddenly, you two are real estate moguls."
Lorelai snorted and said, "Hardly."
Emily shook her head at her daughter's naiveté. "Your house, the diner and the building it's in, the building Luke bought next door, the Dragonfly and now the bakery," she listed.
"Hell, you own half of the town," Richard said with a guffaw.
Lorelai and Luke locked eyes as the truth sank in. "You're the Donald Trump of Stars Hollow," Lorelai whispered.
Luke shook his head and said, "No way. I have more hair."
"Does that make you Ivana or Marla?" Rory asked Lorelai.
"He has a new girlfriend now," Emily added sagely.
Lorelai grinned and said, "Look who's been watching E!"
"All kidding aside," Richard said, cutting off the silliness. "You need to get someone to set up some tax shelters for you, protect your properties," he insisted.
Luke looked at Lorelai. "We should probably talk to him," she said with a shrug.
"I'll get his number later," Luke said, drawing the conversation to a close as their entrees appeared.
"Hey Luke?" Rory called for his attention. "Did Jess tell you that Taylor was scoping out your storefront next door while you were gone?"
"No, but he can just keep looking. I am not letting him open a stupid plate shop in there," he grumbled.
"Plate shop? More antiques?" Emily asked.
Lorelai laughed and said, "Not quite. Collectable plates, think Franklin Mint," she explained.
Emily shuddered and said, "What in heavens name for?"
"Beats me," Luke said flashing Emily a grin. "But, it's never going to happen," he assured her.
Once they were all served, Lorelai said, "The honeymoon was great. We can't thank you enough."
"We were happy to do it," Emily said.
"We have presents and pictures," Lorelai said with a grin.
Emily looked up and smiled. "Ooh, presents," she said happily.
Luke laughed and said, "So that's where they get that from."
"They come by it honestly," Richard said with a nod.
As they drove home, Luke turned to glance at Lorelai. "Hey, Mrs. Trump," he called.
"Yes, Donnie?" she answered.
"I'm hiring two more people at the diner and maybe some more for the bakery," he told her.
"Good," she said with a nod.
"Don't forget me," Rory said from the back seat. "I plan to be a case study in nepotism."
"I'll talk to Sandy," Luke said glancing at her in the mirror. "We reopen on Sunday after church. When do you want to start?" he asked.
"Sunday, after church," Rory answered with a grin.
"What about school?" he asked.
Rory shrugged and said, "If it's just a few hours on the weekends, I can handle it."
Luke glanced at Lorelai and asked, "How do you feel about that?"
Lorelai smiled and said, "Someone once told me that if Rory said she could handle it, she could handle it."
"I'll talk to Sandy tomorrow," Luke said finally.
"I called Tom today," Lorelai said softly.
"You did?" Luke asked, surprised.
"The contractor guy?" Rory asked.
Lorelai nodded and said, "Sookie and I decided that we needed an estimate on the repairs before we decide how to proceed."
"Good thinking," Luke said with a nod.
"You know, I didn't really realize until yesterday that Sookie is unemployed too," she mused.
"And Michel," Rory added.
"And all of the others," Lorelai said sadly.
"Is Mia giving everyone severance?" Luke asked.
"Yeah," Lorelai answered softly. "She's leaving on Monday. John flew in today to work out the severance packages, and work with potential buyers," she told them sadly.
"We should have them over for dinner before she goes," Luke said, taking her hand in his. "Sookie and Jackson too," he added.
Lorelai smiled and said, "That would be nice. I'll call them tomorrow and see which night would be better." She gazed out the window and asked, "Do you think Mia would sell me the potting shed?"
"I'm sure she would," Luke answered. "Do you want it at the house or the Dragonfly?" he asked.
Lorelai smiled at his understanding and said, "The Dragonfly."
"We'll ask," he said with a nod. "We'll make that happen."
That night Lorelai walked out of the bathroom to find Luke propped up in bed with a stack of folders on his lap and a pair of reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. She cocked her head and asked, "Where did those come from?"
"Huh?" Luke said, jolted from his thoughts. "Oh, I bought them at the pharmacy. Fran's writing was so tiny, I was having a hard time reading it," he explained. He pulled them off and said, "I'm getting old."
"They're getting me hot," Lorelai answered with a grin.
"Yeah?" Luke asked as he slid them back on.
"Oh yeah," Lorelai said as she crawled onto the bed and up over him. "Hello professor," she purred.
Luke laughed and asked, "Do you want me to teach you a lesson?"
"Yes, please," she breathed into his ear. She nipped at it and growled softly.
"Wow, you really like them?" he asked gruffly.
Lorelai sat back and studied him. "I really do," she said with a smile. "Lord, you can't wear those at work, Patty would blow a gasket." She closed the folder he had been reading and let her fingers brush over him as she lifted the stack from his lap.
"I was working," he said half heartedly.
Lorelai pouted and said, "But I need tutoring, Professor Danes."
"In what?" he asked with a grin.
Lorelai bent to press wet kisses to his neck as she said, "Anatomy, Physiology, Human Sexuality."
Luke swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "I think I can help you with those," in a gravelly voice.
"Good," she breathed as she traced his ear with her tongue. "I'm determined to make an 'A' and I won't give up until you give me one in each subject," she drawled.
"We should start with the basics," Luke said as he grasped her head and pulled her to his lips. He kissed her deeply, his tongue teasing hers until they tangled, battling for supremacy. He pulled back slightly and said, "Hey, I'm the teacher, follow my lead."
"Yes sir," she said. "I'll do whatever it takes."
Luke smiled, his cocky grin making its first appearance in days. "Take notes," he whispered as he pulled her back to him and plundered her mouth.
Saturday morning, Luke was up and showered before Lorelai even stirred. He sat on the edge of the bed and whispered, "I have to go to work."
Lorelai rolled over with a groan and mumbled, "Stay here. Put your glasses back on."
Luke shook his head and said, "Too potent, you won't be able to control yourself."
Lorelai stretched and smiled. "That was the point," she said as she let her hand drift up his thigh.
"You're insatiable," he whispered.
"You're incredible," she whispered back.
"I love you," he said with a smile.
"Then get back in bed," she said with a pout.
"I have things to do," he said gently. "But, if you are still struggling this evening, I can arrange another tutoring session," he offered.
"I'll count on it," she said with a grin. "I love you, Professor," she said kissing him softly.
"You'll get me fired," he said as he leaned in to kiss her one more time.
"Good thing you're the boss," she said in a sultry voice.
"I am, aren't I?" he asked as he slid his hand under the sheet.
"You are," she said with a happy sigh. "Now, about my performance review, I think I deserve a raise," she said as he lowered his head to her breast.