I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.

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The Choice

...

The intellect of man is forced to choose

perfection of the life, or of the work,

And if it take the second must refuse

A heavenly mansion, raging in the dark.

When all that story's finished, what's the news?

In luck or out the toil has left its mark:

That old perplexity an empty purse,

Or the day's vanity, the night's remorse. -W.B. Yeats

…

Charming

Keegan tore through the halls of St. Thomas looking for his wife. He was nervous but more than that he was angry. He'd missed the birth of his son by two days, two fucking days and in that time who knows what lies her family had spread about him. As he turned a corner he saw that all familiar patch "Sons of Anarchy" "Tacoma" but he wasn't familiar with the Son wearing it. Regardless he barreled through and the tall blonde caught him.

"Whoa there Irish. Mama's sleeping and her guard dog's on alert." Keegan looked at the man in confusion before he was guided to the door. He was already angry but the sight he saw through the window brought him to a new height of rage even his Irish temper didn't recognize. "Ease up, he's been there for two days. Hasn't left her side. Like a pitbull. If you go in there like this he's liable to snap and that's the last thing Milla needs.

Fuck Milla, Keegan thought. He wanted to get to his son and push the Puerto Rican out the door and away from his family. He tried to push forward but the blonde held him in place.

"I told you to stop...so stop!" He stopped in his tracks and glared at the blonde who simply studied him. "So you're Milla's guy...I thought she stopped dating women."

"Who the bloody, fucking hell are you?" Keegan asked and the blonde let go of him, only to walk him to a chair next to where an old guy with an oxygen tank was sleeping.

"My name's Koz, I'm sure my kiddo's mentioned me." Keegan nodded. He did remember a Koz or Kozik, one of Milla's most loved and trusted people in the world. She loved him as much as she loved her brother or that Opie fella that she visited in Chino.

"She's mentioned you. I deserve to go see my son." Keegan was proud of himself, he didn't yell, didn't attack the biker. He just let it roll off his back.

"You will, I'll let you go but Milla needs her rest. Don't worry, Juice's got things pretty well handled in there." Keegan ground his teeth. That was what he was worried about.

…

Juice sat in the chair by Milla's bed holding the world's tiniest cockblock. He chuckled, the little boy saved his mama from a lifetime of guilt. Even though Juice knew that Milla loved him, belonged with him, he also knew that she was loyal to a fault and would never forgive herself if things had progressed. He stared at the baby, memorizing his little nose, those little lips and the brow that marked his Morrow heritage. Juice may have been biased but he thought that the little boy looked like his Mama and that made him beautiful.

"Hey." He turned his eyes from the baby and saw Milla awake her eyes at half mast with the exhaustion. Even though she looked like she'd been hit by a Mack truck Juice would swear, in court even, that he'd never seen anything as beautiful as her.

"Hey, the doc said you should rest. Don't worry I've got Little Clay." They shared a smile at the name she'd given her son. It was tradition in the family to give the kid the first name of the grandfather or grandmother and the middle name was the father or mother. Milla broke tradition when naming her son, for some reason giving him Keegan's name didn't feel right and her dad was more than fine with the tradition being broken. Instead she named her son Clarence Harry Rafferty. Clarence after her father and arguably the most important man in her life and Harry after the big brother she missed so much but also Keegan's favorite uncle who provided the only positive male presence he had in his life growing up.

"You're really good with him." Milla said softly and Juice beamed.

"It's easy when you love the little guy." Milla smiled softly and held out a hand. After shifting Little Clay in his arms he took her hand and kissed it. The Irishman was supposed to be there any minute but for now he could enjoy just being here, he could imagine this was his family.

…

Gemma walked with purpose down the hallway. The McBastard had escaped. He was supposed to wait at the airport but the overly friendly gate worker had informed her that the handsome charmer with the great accent had taken a cab. The meant that he had beaten her by at least half an hour and that pissed her off. She wanted to give Milla and Juice some more time alone to let nature take it's course. Juice had already proven that he cared more about that baby and his Mama than the actual father. She turned the corner and saw Koz sitting with Piney. He stood up and Gemma raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, he just had to take a leak. Milla's still resting and Juice is holding Little Clay." Gemma smiled at Koz and went to the window. He got one thing wrong Milla was wide awake and Juice was holding her hand. It looked so right that even though she wanted to hold that baby she'd let them have this for a bit longer.

"Thanks Koz." She said softly and Koz took a step back. She sounded dreamy, distant but happy. Koz never trusted Gemma when her voice held that quality. Just as she was getting ready to sit next to Koz, Keegan turned the corner and she turned on him. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You were supposed to wait for me at the airport."

She advanced on him and Keegan held his ground. He was sick of her bullshit. Sick of catering to the whims of people that obviously hated him.

"Wait, why? So you could kidnap me? Make my wife think I don't care? Fuck you Gemma, fuck the lot o' ya. As soon as my wife and child are ready to go we're getting on a plane and heading back home. Away from you and away from Charming." Gemma's face turned white as rage coursed through her. How dare he insult her! Just as she was about to retaliate with a knee to the groin he smirked. "Whatever ya think yer doin', I'd think somethin else. You harm me in any way and I'll make sure Milla never leaves Ireland again and that is my son. Irish law would be on my side if you tried to take him away from me. Think about it Gemma, I hold the strings here."

With that he walked past Gemma who was in a rare state. She didn't think she'd ever been shocked to silence before but he did it. As she sat in the nearest seat Keegan brushed past Koz who went to the downed matriarch and Piney who seemed to sense the change in the game. As they checked on her Keegan walked through the doors, ready to reclaim his family.

…

Juice sat chatting with Milla about nothing really. He just wanted to spend this time with her. Soon her cardiologist would give her the go ahead then, knowing the bastard, Keegan would be taking them home. The thought was almost enough to shake him from his happiness but then Milla squeezed his hand and it was back.

"Hey, we lost you there for a minute." He smiled at her again and squeezed her hand.

"Nah, you'll never lose me...ever." She grinned before her attention was drawn to the door. There was Keegan and for a moment he looked livid until he saw the bundle in Juice's arms. Suddenly his face took on a look of awe and Milla gently removed her hand from Juice's.

"Keegan." Hearing her say his name broke him out of his trance and the last of the rage left his body. He crossed the room and, completely ignoring Juice, leaned down to kiss his wife. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm so sorry my love. I should've been here, for everyt'ing." She smiled at him sadly but leaned up and kissed him again while Juice stood behind Keegan. That was his cue, time to go back to reality where the child and woman in the room didn't belong to him.

"Can I have my son?" Keegan turned, all smiles and the usual animosity he harbored for Juice was absent.

"Be careful with his head." Juice instructed and Keegan merely nodded and gently took his son from Juice. He stared in awe at the bundle. How did something so small scare him so much? As he played with the little boy's fingers Juice put his hand on his shoulder and leaned in.

"Appreciate all that you have man. Don't forget that you're living another man's dream." He patted Keegan gently on the shoulder and walked out, looking back in time to see Keegan lean down to kiss Milla again while holding the baby. With a sigh Juice walked out and joined his brothers in the hallway. He was ready to go and get hammered but he had a feeling no amount of alcohol was going to wash this away. He'd had that taste of happiness, true blinding happiness and now he had to give it away to a man that didn't deserve it. Life was never going to be fair.

…

"Im so glad you're here." Milla said softly once Keegan's attention was drawn from his son. His son... He couldn't believe it. He was so happy that he could even forgive Juice's presence. The man kept his family safe, he could give him a pass for that. He'd still kill him if he ever got the chance but for now he'd let him go on.

"Nowhere else I'd be my love. I tried to get here sooner but there was that bloody bombing near the warehouse, they needed every man." Milla smiled. She knew the truth, he'd been on a bender. Fiona was more than happy to impart that information which meant he was on the outs with Jimmy at the moment...good, it meant he could spend time with his family.

"I still wanna say here for a bit. I'm working with this cardiologist here and he doesn't recommend travel. Not yet anyway." She looked at him and Keegan gave her a wide smile.

"I've no intention of going back 'til yer healthy lovely. Speaking of healthy, does he...his heart?" Keegan asked and Milla gave him a smile.

"No defect. I guess your Irish genes are made of some pretty strong stuff.." He laughed, happy that his son was healthy and his wife would be healthy. It was enough to push his fuck up into the back of his mind. Jimmy told Fiona that it was the bender that had pissed him off. In reality there was a woman in Tully that Jimmy had his eye on but she went for Keegan, went for him in a wild way and Jimmy, bugger him, was jealous. So it was a good thing they'd be staying for a while. Long enough for Jimmy to cool off and for Keegan to get his point across that this was his family and the Sons and their bitches had no place interfering. He leaned his head down and kissed his son, already in love with the little person.

"No love, it means we're a good team. You and me, together made this and that means we can do anyt'ing." Milla smiled and held out her hand while Keegan took it and brought it to his lips. Both unaware that they were being watched.

…

"I don't like this, he's too cocky." Gemma whispered to Clay who had a hard time suppressing a snarl. The boy thought he could throw his weight around without consequence? Clay would have to break him of that line of thinking, maybe do it with a bat.

"Give it time. While he's here he'll see how Milla and the moron fit and he'll slink away with his tail between his legs. He's still Jimmy's man so we can't kill him but we can persuade him. I'll send for Hap. He's good at persuadin." As soon as he said it he knew he wouldn't. Milla would never forgive him if he drove the Irishman off but he could fantasize.

"Let's start by showin' him he's on our turf. This is our hospital and that little boy in there shares your name. We have rights he can't touch." Gemma's face turned hard and Clay chuckled. Irish thought he'd cowed her but he'd just spurred her anger. Clay was going to enjoy the show.

"After you Mamabear." Gemma grinned a predatory grin and walked through the door, sitting on the bed and getting between Milla and Keegan while Clay gently lifted Little Clay from his father's arms. Phase one complete.

…

Across town Juice was getting a lap dance from one of the new girls but he couldn't enjoy it. She was too blonde, too tan and too damn tall. What he wanted was petite, pale and dark haired. He pushed the girl off his lap and walked to the bar, knowing that no amount of liquor, weed or, if he went back to it, pussy would shake him from this funk. A the bartender poured him a shot Chibs grabbed it and downed it while Juice signaled for another and Chibs downed that too.

"What the fuck man?" Juice asked and Chibs gave him a sad smile.

"I see what yer doin' lad and this isn't smart. No amount of liquor's goin' ta wash this away." He signaled for the bartender to leave them alone and he did.

"Listen Chibs." Juice started but Chibs put his hand up.

"I've been where yeh are Juicyboy. I've drunk myself into a stupor every night fer a year and buggered every bitch that crossed my path but it didn't change the fact that Fi's with Jimmy and he has my family." Juice felt like he'd been hit in the chest with a two by four. Chibs really did understand. Now it made total sense why the Scot was keeping such close tabs on him lately. "Way I see it is you have an opportunity I didn't. Milla loves you and has a chance to leave but why would she leave if she came back to a drunk smellin' like pussy. Sober up, get yer shit together and do what you can fer the Club. You have a chance ta be an officer. Wouldn't it be better fer Milla to have a man whose place is cemented in the Club, instead of a drunk. Do what ya need ta do Juicy but think about it. The choice is your so make the right one."

Chibs clapped him on the back and he stared at the bar for a solid minute before he stood and walked to his room. He could be an officer? He never imagined that. He knew they saw him as the idiot, the moron he never imagined that they took him seriously. That bit of information put everything in a new light. Chibs was right. Milla deserved an officer and Juice deserved a chance to prove his worth. As he took out his laptop and brought up different programs he had a new resolve, he had a reason to be better. He deserved to be an officer and Milla deserved better than he was.