The kiss was amazing. It's like I've never been kissed before. It was very awkward after it though. We stood there for a while just like that, arms wrapped around each other and getting lost into each other's gaze.
His eyes were soft mirroring my own. I could kiss him again. Right there and then but under the circumstances I can't. It's like reality suddenly hit us so hard that we realized what we're doing and we hastily scrambled out of each other's arms.
I ran a hand through my hair and looked around. Most people are still kissing and some are just there watching. I nervously peeked up at Mike risking everything that his expression might cause me.
He looks dazed. It's like he didn't know what just happened. Well, I don't too. Our eyes locked.
We just stared at each other. Then I started laughing and his lips started to quirk up too then he was finally laughing. Somehow, we found it amusing.
I tried catching my breath as I clutch my side and dashed some tears from my eyes which formed due to laughing hard.
"That was….." He started
"Odd." I finished for him
"Definitely crazy." He agreed
We both know that it wasn't our faults. We never knew which person we were kissing and besides, it's not like I haven't kissed him before. We did a couple of times but it's usually to make a guy that I like or a girl that he likes jealous on a number of occasions.
I just shook my head trying to clear my thoughts away. It was such a shame that the lights went on. I could have enjoyed the kiss longer if they stayed out for a couple more minutes.
Minutes later, Mike and I were standing by the entrance of the club waiting for valet to bring his rental car out front. He had his arm casually draped around my shoulders like he always does and my right arm is around his waist.
Some people piled out of the club and one of them was Cody. He looked at our direction and his eyes darken scaring the living shit out of me. I instinctively step closer to Mike tightening my arm around his waist. He looks down at me for the sudden gesture then he looks up and saw Cody. He pulls me closer.
Cody just shook his head and walked away.
"Is he bothering you?" He looks down at me
I shook my head.
"We just had this fling. It was nothing but he wants more and I don't feel that way about him." I confessed
He nodded as if he understands but truth is he doesn't understand that he's reason why I can't love Cody.
XOXOXOXOX
I pulled on my sweats and dragged a camisole on. I look up as Mike emerged from the bathroom. As usual, he insists in staying in with me and that's fine with me. We used to live with each other anyway.
When we were both starting out in wrestling and even before that, neither of us can afford a place of our own. Well, not now cause we both have our own places but we still live in the same city.
I padded into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and crossed my arms over my chest and started brushing my teeth. Moments later, Mike walked in just in sweats. Naked from the waist up.
Normally, this doesn't bother me but for some reason now, I looked everywhere just to avoid staring at his body. I looked at him in the mirror and found him staring at me. He took his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth. His eyes not leaving mine.
I smirked at him and he smiled back. This seems so…..intimate. Just standing there, staring at each other while brushing our teeth.
I finished brushing and rinsed my mouth and the toothbrush and walked out leaving Mike there to finish his business.
I moved and climbed in bed. God, I feel so tired. I haven't even realized it until I sank myself under the covers. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep as I hear the water running in the bathroom as Mike finished brushing his teeth.
I woke up and it was still pitched dark. I looked around. The continuous hum of the air-condition is the only sound there is and the silent rhythmic breathing behind me. I'm lying on my side so I stared over my left shoulder and Mike was sleeping behind me, arm limply splayed across my waist his hand on my stomach.
I stirred and lay on my other side to face him. He stirred too and I was worried thinking I'd wake him but he remained asleep.
I stared at him and slipped a hand under my pillow. He seems so close but so far. His eyes closed. Steady rhythm made by his breathing. I ached to touch him so I did.
Very gently, I raised my free hand and trailed my finger tips on his cheek. He's beautiful. Perfect to me.
Why can't you just love me?
I traced his features. His closed eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, cheekbones, nose, lips…
I remember clearly how his lips felt on mine. How can I forget?
I leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his lips. I lingered there for a moment before pulling away and settling back down on my pillow
"I love you." I whispered as I gently ran a hand though his hair. He stirred and I snatch my hand back fearing that he was about to wake up but he stayed asleep.
"I love you, too." He murmured before falling back to deep slumber.
My eyes burned with tears. I know he's unconscious and oblivious to what he's saying in his sleep but those words came from him and I don't know to whom they were meant to but can't I just imagine for one second that it was for me cause I'm the one who's here with him?
Oh, how I wish you feel the same way too. How I wish you meant those words. How I wish you were really saying them to me. How I wish you were mine.
Exhaustion started to dominate my consciousness again. I closed my eyes hoping that maybe one day he will know how I really feel and maybe one day he'll feel the same way too. That maybe one day he will love me too just as how much I love him, someday, somehow. I slowly drifted to sleep in the deep sad realization that all of it might not be even close to possible.