Chapter Ten
Vanishing Act

So I run.

I run and I run until I know I have to be in Neverland.

But I'm not, I'm still in London; dangerously close to Daniel's house I might add. The rain has stopped, but the streets are spackled with puddles and the atmosphere is damp and cold. I shiver as I find myself slumping down on a bench just across the busy road from Daniel's home.

I need someone. Anyone who cares, anyone who will listen to me cry and blubber. I feel alone, so incredibly alone. More alone than I have ever felt in my entire life. A slick, hopeless feeling creeps up my spine, clenching my skin and making my chest tight with anxiety. It's hard to breathe and I feel as if I might be sick. I'm having difficulty deciding what I should cry about, father dying, my broken engagement, or the fact that the only person I ever really loved and ever will truly love is not with me.

The traffic is loud as it wears on into the late hours of the night. I can see the bright face of Big Ben over the tops of houses and trees and see that it's nearly one o'clock in the morning. The lights in Daniel's house are off. He's probably asleep. But I desperately want to go up his front door and bang out it until he lets me inside. It almost hurts, how much I want to see him, cry into his shirt, and beg him for forgiveness. He'll have to take me back, he'll have to forgive me, he'll make everything better, then my life will be perfect again.

I make a move to get up but I'm stopped by the couple stumbling to the front door of his house. It's Daniel. Daniel and another woman. They're laughing and giggling, slurring their words and walking oddly as if they've had too much champagne to handle. They're walking close, leaning against each other as Daniel fumbles with his keys.

The woman whispers something to him and he laughs, shaking his head and saying something in return. I can grasp a few words, 'No longer betrothed.'

The words work their way into my brain and wriggle around, haunting me and making me feel sick. The next thing stops me completely. They're smothering each other with kisses, as if their lives depend on it, as if they're not close enough, they disappear into the house and I squeeze my eyes shut tight, sucking in deep breaths.

The traffic in the street is causing my brain to spin and I cover my ears, singing an aimless tune to myself as I amble down the street, with no particular destination in mind.

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I walk around London restlessly, until the first dregs of morning reveal themselves. Then I go home.

Once I'm home I try to sleep, all to no avail. I fill up the bathtub with hot water and sink into it, losing myself in the placid weightlessness in the water. I want to go to Neverland. I want to get away from London and the hectic life I have here. I want to forget about losing father and Daniel, all in the same week. I want to go to Neverland and never come back. I don't want to have anything to do with this life anymore.

After my bath I sleep for hours, then wake up in the middle of the night, fully rested and still miserable. For the next few days I don't eat, I don't do anything really except lay in bed, sulking and reflecting.

I lose track of time all together. The rising and falling of the sun and moon meaning nothing to me, just occurrences meshed together by endless, mind numbing thoughts and events on the outside. I feel like this nothingness is building up to something, something big, but something that doesn't exist all together. I feel hopeless and as if my existence doesn't matter anymore. This is when I fill the bathtub again, with cold water this time. I don't bother to take off my clothes, I just lay in the tub, letting the water drag me under.

I need air, my lungs are on fire. But I don't move. I force myself to stay down. Neverland will come shortly. Won't it? Then, everything goes fuzzy.

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I'm faintly aware of the strong hand pulling me out of the water, carrying me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, placing me gently on the bed. I unconsciously cough and sputter, choking on the water trapped in my lungs.

Once I begin to breathe regularly again, I notice I'm trembling, feeling weak and hollow. I take several deep breaths and open my eyes, looking around. There he is, standing over me, watching as I lay, soaking wet, and pathetic.

"Peter."

"What is wrong with you?" he says immediately.

I use all my strength to sit up, "What-"

"Why would you do something like that!" the fear is evident in his eyes and he wraps his arms around me. "Wendy, I thought I was going to lose you."

"Daniel, h-he was with another w-woman," my teeth are chattering now. "And f-father's gone," I shake my head miserably as Peter gives me his coat. "My life..."

Peter places his hand on my cheek, it's warm and strong, "I'm here for you, Wendy, I was always here for you."

The tears are in my eyes before I can even push them away.

"I'll always be here for you," he whispers, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

We sit in silence for several minutes.

And then I say, "I want to go to Neverland."

Author's Note: Sorry it was so short, and sorry it took me so long to write. Hope you like it, next chapter's coming soon!