Another short chapter :P Also sorry there's some angst coming!
Meredith and Addison had made up, somewhat. They had made up because Addison was still staying with the Shepherd's and even though she was supposed to be only at Seattle Grace for one surgery it had turned into a dozen. It was impossible to stay in that apartment and not break the icy post-argument ice.
There were three bedrooms and two bathrooms in the apartment, one of which was an ensuite. The kitchen was cramped but not much cooking went on so it didn't matter. The living room and the kitchen and the dining room were all the same place and the boys toys cluttered everything up. But it was an easy space to keep clean, even if it wasn't tidy, and it was so close to the hospital and schools and there was no dust to trigger another asthma attack.
They were meant to be building their own house. Meredith liked to think about the dream house when she was stressed from being an intern-mother-wife person. The actual house didn't matter because along with the dream house, dream Meredith would arrive. Dream Meredith would never need to sleep, never crave caffeine or be forced to choose kids over surgery or get glares from everybody. Everybody would admire and respect Dream Meredith and her life would be all balanced and shiny. She would do flawless solo surgeries from nine until five, then arrive home with her perky husband to greet two children and cook a wholesome meal.
Sometimes a voice crept into her mind that said even with the house, Dream Meredith wouldn't follow. She blocked it effortlessly. It didn't matter anyways. The house was not going to be finished until she had completed her residency in all likelihood. There was just never time.
The day of the spat with Addison and the stand-still surgery, Meredith did some paper work, spent five minutes with Andrew in the daycare, did evening rounds, picked Michael up from the childminder and finished the paper work while keeping an eye on him and Andrew, borrowing Derek's office. Then she met Addison and Derek arrived with dinner from the canteen and they ate in Derek's office before going home. Derek showed Addison the plans of the house while Meredith slept and then they started playing a board-game but Meredith fell asleep again. That was what constituted as a quiet, uneventful evening.
With Addison staying with them, Meredith didn't feel so guilty going to bed at the same time as the boys. She woke later when Derek got into bed and there was some sleepy snuggling and talking and then more sleeping.
She awoke tired. How could she sleep for so long and still be tired? It was impossible. How could a person work so hard and still not get it all done? She hadn't fed the kids good quality food, she hadn't made up with Addison, she hadn't kept up with the interns and gone to the bar, she hadn't had sex, and she hadn't studied or cleaned or phoned the family and friends she was neglecting back in New York. She missed out on so much and she still couldn't keep up.