dedicated to: masqueradelife and CrayonsPink. for guessing the correct outcome of her answer!!
is the suspsence killing you!? well i hope you dont kill me after you read this next chapter. =] i love you all for reading and reviewing this story. reviews make my day. ENJOY!
Chapter Ten: The Decision
Sunday – 12:16am
"I can't," Mitchie mumbled after minutes of silence.
Shane's eyebrows crinkled together in confusion. "Why not?"
"Hear me out," said Mitchie, repeating the same line Shane used just moments before. "I am a senior. Next Sunday I will finally be graduating from high school; something I've been waiting for since I was in eighth grade. Also, we have prom on Friday. And although I don't seem like the type to want to go to prom, I do want to go. And this is why I can't. I just can't go on tour, not right now."
Mitchie waited for Shane to yell at her screaming how she was passing up the greatest opportunity of her life.
"Say something please," she finally pleaded. "Just tell me I'm an idiot and that I'm making the biggest mistake ever."
Shane looked genuinely baffled. "I would never tell you that. And you aren't making the biggest mistake of your life. It's your life and you're allowed to do whatever you want with it. I'm surprised, needless to say, but a good surprise."
"What?" she asked, looking up into his brown eyes for the first time.
He pulled her into an empty room away from all the noise and chatter. "I honestly didn't know you would out right decline my offer, and that alone surprised me. Most teenage girls would have jumped on the chance to go on tour, to make something of themselves. And the fact that you want to actually finish high school is extremely refreshing. You actually care about your schooling, and you should you're almost done with it forever. I definitely would not want you to miss prom and graduation. You only get one chance to go to each. I would not take that away from you."
She nodded sadly, her dark curls swishing in front of her face. "I feel like I'm letting you down though."
"How? Girl, you have got to be out of your mind?" he joked.
His playfulness caused Mitchie to laugh but then her voice fell soft. "You put all this energy into finding me, and you found me. And then you have to leave," Mitchie finished lamely.
Shane tightened his hold on her. "Is that what you're worrying about? Me leaving you?"
"Shane, I'm trying to think reasonably here. You're going on tour for I don't know how long. Months and months could go by without me ever seeing you or hearing from you. I've become too attached already, and that's what really scares me. I've never felt this strongly for someone in forever basically. And for us to come together as suddenly as we have, I don't know. I'm just really scared. I don't know how I will be able to do this if you're away for long periods at a time. And you're laughing, why are you laughing!?"
Shane couldn't control his laughter. He never pegged Mitchie to be such a worrier.
"Okay, listen. This tour is almost over, and we will be home for a little while before we do anything again. I will come see you every chance I can. Don't be scared, okay? There's nothing to be afraid of." Shane held Mitchie's face in his rough hands, stroking her cheeks affectionately. "I'm not stupid; I'm not going to let something this good get away from me that easily. You're all I think about."
One lone tear dropped from Mitchie's puzzling green eyes. "I know. But I can't. Me being involved with a super star, it would never work. There are so many other girls out there waiting for you to find them. I hate thinking so many other girls are dreaming of the same guy I am. It's just too weird for me. I'm sorry Shane."
Mitchie broke free of Shane's hold her heart shattering into a thousand little pieces. Turning her back on what could have been, Mitchie strode out of the room tears spilling down her face.
12:27am
Lola found her before Mitchie even had time to breath. Without even questioning, Lo wrapped her arms around her friend. "Is it time to leave?"
She could barely nod. Lo spotted Shane coming out of a room in the distance; his face torn up. "Come on; let's get you out of here."
The friends pushed their way out of the crowded room. People were now beginning to leave, saying their last goodbyes to the band before they headed off to their next adventure. Leaving without saying goodbye, the two girls clambered their way to the car. Lo helped Mitchie climb into the passenger's seat.
Once Lola had started the car and backed out of the parking lot, she said, "Okay, please tell me what's wrong. You're starting to really scare me."
"I blew it. I totally blew it," answered Mitchie, covering her face with her hands.
"With Shane?"
"Yes with Shane."
"Do explain."
"I semi freaked out in a controlled way. Everything was going perfectly; he had spilled his heart out to me. We almost kissed too. I was starting to think I could let him in, and then everything came crashing down. He asked me if I wanted to go on tour with him. And I couldn't stop myself from freaking out then."
"Woah, wait. He asked you to go on tour? And you said no!?"
"Lo, you know me. I can't just jump into things haphazardly, not putting any thought into them. Plus, we have prom and graduation this week. I can't miss them."
"You could careless about prom, and I'm sure school would still graduate you. You're one of the top students in our class. What's the real reason you won't go on tour? What didn't you tell Shane?"
Mitchie stared out the window, gazing into the starry night. Not long ago she and Shane had been staring at them, perfectly happy. Not anymore, all because of her. "I don't know. Part of me really wants to be able to say I finished high school and have graduated. I've been waiting forever to graduate and move on with my life. Prom is prom and it makes you happy that I'm going so I want to go."
"The other part of you wants to what though?"
"The other part of me is screaming that I'm an idiot. Everything is happening too fast though and you know I don't make good decisions when I'm pressured. First I meet this amazing boy, come to find out that he is an international superstar, then I sing in front of thousands of people, and now a tour? This has all happened in the span on two days. I don't know, I just can't. What if I'm not cut out to be a singer?"
"Oh Mo, you don't give yourself enough credit. It you don't think you are cut out to be a singer why do you write all those songs? Why do you spend hours upon hours trying to come up with a tune you aren't completely disgusted with? Why did you teach yourself to play the guitar? Those are the makings of a true singer. Honestly, I think you would kick ass on tour."
"I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for something like that."
"You know what I think you're truly afraid of, and why you won't go on tour with Shane? I think you're afraid of letting Shane into your heart and being vulnerable. Even though it sounds totally archaic, I think you're afraid of letting him into your life without the guarantee that he will be there for you forever. And I know it's because of your mom. It's been exactly four years ago, Mo. Four years this summer. I know we rarely talk bout her, and I respect you for not wanting too. But I wish we would. I miss her too. She was like a second mother to me, and I miss her so much sometimes. What happened to your mom, it tore you apart. I know it did. It's taken years for you to even think about dating anyone, for the fear of losing them too."
"Look how quickly you let Shane in. People like him don't come into your life often, and when they do you need to hold onto them like their going to float away."
"You sound like a book of fortunes," mumbled Mitchie.
"Mo, you're my best friend. You have been my best friend since first grade. I am only looking out for you."
"I know," she said softly.
"And I know that whatever you decide to do with your life you are going to be amazing at it."
"I hate that you know me so well," sniffed Mitchie.
Lola smiled. "It's a perk of being friends for ten odd years."
"What should I do?" she finally asked sounding so lost.
Lola's heart broke at the sight of her best friend. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know."
"I have a proposition. How about we go buy some ice cream and watch She's the Man a hundred times."
A small smile crept onto Mitchie's face. "Okay. I could go for some ice cream."
Don't Stop Believing Mo's cell sang loudly.
"How ironic," Lo said sarcastically, smiling.
Mitchie glared at her friend and checked caller ID. Her face fell. "It's Shane."
"Answer it."
"I can't," sighed Mitchie.
Lola looked at her friend pointedly. "Honey, you can't leave him hanging like this. You either got to end it or something."
"I basically broke it off with him tonight. It's not like we were ever anything anyway," she said ignoring the call.
Lo shook her blond head sadly.
"I'll call him tomorrow," promised Mo, turning off her phone.
"Okay," said Lo, not convinced.
"It's girl's night anyway. No boys allowed."
Lola laughed. "Very true! To the store! Let the pig out fest begin!"
12:45am
Shane snapped his phone shut for the fourth time. He felt the hinges of the phone give a threatening crack. He didn't care; she wouldn't answer any of his calls. They went straight to voice mail which meant she turned her phone off and she didn't want to talk to him. What had he done wrong? Frustration mounting in his head, he climbed into bed angrily pulling the blankets over his head. He closed his eyes only to see two green eyes staring back on him. He yelled out in anger. He couldn't stop thinking about her.
"Shane, what's going on?" Nate asked, closing the door behind him.
"She won't answer any of my calls. I don't have any idea what I did wrong?"
"I take it she's not coming on tour."
"It's her senior year Nate. Her last week of high school is coming up. She's got prom this weekend and graduation too. I can't expect her to give up those things just for me."
"I'm sorry dude. I know you really like her."
Shane nodded. "I don't know what to do. Everything I do reminds me of her somehow. I close my eyes and I see her face. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight."
"You're falling for her," stated Nate bluntly.
He had never really looked at it that way but it was clear. Shane was falling for Mitchie Jordan. And now she was falling off his radar.
What was he going to do?