The blog I started writing with some other awesome authors - this week PrudeLiz joinded us! We wrote some awesome lemon to Rob on the Alice in Wonderland Statue and its called "The Cock and the Hare!" (DOT)com GO CHECK OUT!!

I couldn't do this without all the support I get from my FanFic girls…nln to you all! I love you… I hope your all reading Where There is Smoke by my girlies link on my profile

Couldn't do this without my Beta's Jade and Keepingupwiththekids - they give me endless support and assure me my writing is not craptastic….

Stephanie Meyers owns Characters, I own story line and plot.

Chapter 9

Hanging By A Moment

BPOV

"What do you want to know exactly?" I asked Edward, desperately hoping he wouldn't ask the same question I avoided over the phone last night.

"Bella I want to know how close you are with him….and what you guys do together. Edward trailed off, seeming to have a hard time finishing the sentence.

"We hang out." I state simply. I prayed to God that Edward would just leave it at that. Then he started pulling at his hair and I knew my prayer would be unanswered.

He took a deep breath and said, "Bella, when I kiss a girl, it's a big deal to me. For other people maybe it means nothing, but to me, it's a huge deal. I guess I would like to know where we stand. I am not blind or naive to think that what you have with Jasper is completely platonic."

God….I didn't want to talk. All I wanted to do in that moment was devour him. I wanted to feel every inch of him.

I leaned in to kiss him, hoping that once I did, he would forget all about the questions I dreaded answering and focus on us. Unfortunately, he pushed me back gently before my lips even touched his.

"Bella, please talk to me about this." He seemed to be getting a bit frustrated already.

"Fine Edward, what do you want to know?" I surrendered, not wanting to make him more upset then he already was.

"What role does Jasper Hale play in your life?"

"You really want to know the truth?" I was hoping one last time he would change his mind about getting all the facts.

"Yes," he replied nodding his head.

"Just remember you're the one who brought this up." I didn't really know where to start but I wanted to finally get this over with.

Please God….let this be ok…..

"Jasper knows me better then anyone. He is one of the very few people that I trust. He always knows what to say or do to make me laugh or calm me down. I don't ever have to tell him how I feel. He just always knows. Its like we are connected in some way. When I am happy, he is happy. When I am in pain, he is in pain."

It was the truth. Jasper and I really do seem to be connected in some way. We just….get each other.

"He is very protective of me, and he doesn't let anyone say shit about me." I looked up at Edward, and he looked a bit confused so I knew I was going to have to explain more thoroughly.

"He sounds like a really good friend." Edward said simply, not wanting to pressure me into talking about my year spent as the slutty new girl.

"Yea he is." I responded, praying Edward would finally drop it. Unfortunately, it seemed today was a day of unanswered prayers.

"What does he have to protect you from?" My stomach turned the minute the question left his lips.

"I am no angel Edward. Once upon a time, I didn't exactly make the best choices in life. When I first got to Winchester, Renee was pretty lax with me. She didn't question me at all about what I was doing or where I was going. When we moved here, I started dating this senior named James." I saw Edward tense when I said his name. I wondered why? I figured I would ask him why later.

"Well, James was fun. He took me to the best parties with the biggest kegs. He got the best….prescription pills and pot." I looked up to gage Edward's reaction to my admittance of bad girl extra-curricular activities. He didn't seem surprised. I suppose he knew James.

"James started to pressure me for sex. We hadn't been dating for very long, maybe a month and I 'gave it up' so to speak. He dumped me and never talked to me again after that. However, it did not stop him from telling the rest of the school." Now came the part I dreaded talking about.

"For a long time, all the girls at my school said nasty shit about me because all the guys gave me all their attention. I guess they were hoping for an easy lay after James told them stuff about me. At that point I figured I already did it, and I did sleep with a few random guys at parties and shit. I had to put up with a lot of unwanted grabs, slaps,….and sexual innuendos." I barely had the strength to finish my sentence. I could feel the tears pooling up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I tried not to blink, to push them back as I continued rehashing my past in order to get to my present situation with Jasper.

"My life was a living in hell at school, until Jasper stepped in. Jasper is very popular at Winchester High. People listen to him and respected his friends. So when he took me under his wing, everyone stopped saying shitty things about me. They know better than to mess with one of his friends, especially me. He doesn't let anyone get away with calling me a slut or slapping my ass or whatever. I guess in a way, he saved me…" Edward reached up and wiped a tear that escaped.

"It's okay Bella, don't be upset. I'm not going to judge you ." Edward gave me a small smile that gave me the strength to finish.

"After my nightmare with James, I really didn't want a repeat of that incident. I didn't want to be the school slut that I let them make me. Jasper, he can't stand all the basketball groupies. They always follow him like lost puppies. So one day, Jasper and I thought it would be best for the both of us to just help each other out. You know like… fuck buddies..." I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see Edward's reaction to the phrase we coined for each other. Let's face it though, there's no sugar coating casual sex.

When I finally opened my eyes Edward looked so stunned.

"Like I said Edward, I am no angel. I understand if you…." I didn't get the chance to finish because he cut me off.

"Can I ask why you and Jasper made the decision to be with each other like that? It's just that, I believe that sex is sacred and should be saved for marriage. But don't worry, I'm not here to preach to you . I just would like to… understand?" He asked me hesitantly.

"I like sex. Sex is fun. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, so for me, sex is just sex. I don't think there's anything extraordinary about it. I understand it's more to some people, but not to me. I don't really understand what the big deal is to NOT have sex. I do understand now, that it should be intimate, and it should be done with someone you trust and care about. Well, I do trust Jasper, and I care about him. I have no doubt in my mind that Jasper feels the same way about me too. We're just not in love. We do it because it's easy and it makes sense."

I can't believe I said that much in front of Edward. Did I really want to mess things up with him that bad? I realized it didn't matter. I really liked Edward. I didn't want him to want someone that wasn't me. I wanted him to like me for me, not some manufactured self I created to please him. I was still worried, I mean, I just told the guy that I have sex for fun. Now he must think that I'm just playing with him. What the hell is wrong with me!?

He didn't talk right away after I answered his questions. He just sat there at the end of the couch. He wasn't even looking at me. His eyes were glued on the floor, and his hands were messing with his hair. I was sure that he would want to end things between us after my revelation. There's no chance that a guy like him would ever want to be with someone like me.

A couple moments later, he finally broke the silence.

"When was the last time you and Jasper…?" He's has to be kidding me. Did he really want to know when the last time me and Jasper had sex?

I figured I could lie to him, and tell him that we hadn't done it in a long time. Only the thing was… I didn't want to lie to him.

"Not since we kissed." That was the best answer that I could come up with at that moment. It was a far better one than telling him that the last time was four days ago, when I gave Jasper a blow job … which by the way was also the day I first met him.

"Cause if we are going to do this Bella, I need to know you feel the same way as I do."

"And how do you feel, Edward?" I needed him to be more specific and clear about his feelings.

"Like I don't want to share you with anyone else..."

I think my heart may have skipped a beat after what I heard. For a moment there, I seriously thought that he didn't want me anymore. My heart was overjoyed with the knowledge that he still wanted me after what I told him about my past.

"I don't want to share you either…" I honestly told him as he pulled me against his chest. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Bella, I know that everything about this relationship of ours is complicated right now. The truth is I'm just hanging by the moment here. I'm scared of how this will end up for both of us. I don't know what I am diving into with you. I've never felt this way before. All I know is that I am getting in really deep, and I'm scared... But I'm willing to do it. I'm willing to dive in further to the unknown and risk everything for a chance of happiness with you. I just need to know if you're with me on this too."

"I'm in with you on this, Edward…" I sincerely whispered. He pulled me close into his chest again, and kissed my forehead.

Edward was right. Everything about our relationship was complicated. One way or another, there was a huge chance that something may go wrong. But like he said, I'm willing to risk it too. For the first time in my life, I would risk getting hurt just to be with Edward.

We didn't say anything after that. No words were needed to be said. After everything that we talked about, we needed the silence, and it was comforting. I stayed in his arms a few more minutes, listening to his breathing. The moment was perfect. It was as if we were in our own little bubble, and not a thing in the world could disrupt our happiness.

After what seemed to be like hours just sitting there in each other's arms, Edward finally decided to break the silence.

"Just so you know… you are an angel. You're MYangel." I couldn't help but laugh when I heard what he just said. Seriously? Did he really think that I was an angel? Wow. Was Edward blind? No, maybe he's just deaf. Because there was no way he just heard me, right? Did he not hear everything I told him?

"What?" he asked me. He must have noticed how confused I was.

"You do realize that you just called me an angel, right?" I told him.

"Yeah… So?" I seriously don't think he heard what I had said about being a slut.

"Did you hear everything I just said?"

"Yes Bella, I heard you. If that's why you don't think you're an angel, then you're wrong. I see right through you, Bella Swan. You act all tough on the outside to avoid getting hurt. But the truth is it's not entirely who you are. Even if you don't admit it, I know that you're kind, selfless and more fragile than you think you are. You're a beautiful person Bella… You're MY angel…"

I couldn't control myself any longer. His words touched my heart and the urge to feel him was beginning to burn. I've been holding back since I saw him in his car earlier, but that was it. I'm through holding back. I can't resist him anymore.

I threw my leg over his lap so I was straddling him and began kissing him … hard. I opened my mouth a little bit more and gently pushed my tongue farther into his mouth, until the tip of my tongue met the tip of his. My tongue began to fight with his, and I heard him moan into my mouth. Edward took his lips off mine and for a second , I thought he wanted to stop again. But then I felt his lips in my skin again, only this time, he had gone lower. He began to nip and suck on my neck, and I couldn't help but moan from the intense feeling of his lips in my body. I sat up straighter pressing my boobs just below his face and he grunted.

I moved my mouth to his ear and nibbled a little bit as I whispered, "you make me so wet." I felt him go hard beneath me. I started rocking slowly against his hardness. With each rock of my hips, I would moan and so did he. His hands were on my hips and as he brought one up to the back of my neck, he's hand grazed the side of my breast. I gasped and came back down to attack his mouth. I pulled away and began to remove my shirt.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward asked, breathing heavily, as he brought my shirt back down glancing at my exposed stomach and breast. "It's not that I am against seeing your boobs. I do want to see them. I just don't want to rush things."

"I understand." I told him as I rocked my hips against his dick again and laid soft kisses along his jaw.

I honestly wanted us to go much further. Once again, I didn't want to force him and make him feel uncomfortable. Besides, what we did tonight was already far more than I expected.

Something must have caught his attention because he grabbed my hips and held me steady.

"Angel, what's this?" Edward asked as he pulled my shirt up, exposing a tiny bit of the tattoo I had gotten a few months ago.

A quote that fit me well and brought a smile to my face. It started low on my left pelvic bone and ended on the right pelvic bone. It wasn't very wide, just long, and low enough to hide when I wanted it to stay hidden from Renee. God knows that if she ever found out that I got a tattoo, she'd definitely go ape shit on me. If I had the right jeans or bikini bottoms, it pops out a little.

Edward ran his fingers along the quote, reading it aloud, "You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music."

He looked up at me with his "what the fuck?" look. Well, I know he wasn't thinking, "what the fuck?" But, I don't know the right word he would use to replace "fuck." Hell? No. Heck? Yeah, that's definitely a more appropriate word he would use. His, "what the heck" look.

"What? That shit is funny and true!" I said a little louder then I meant too.

"I must admit it is pretty sexy…"

"So sexy is in your vocabulary. I was beginning to wonder!" I joked with him.

"Tell me about it?" He asked.

"Well, one day, Jasper and I were watching The Cable Guy while smoking a bunch of pot. One funny thing about Jasper is that he gets all-philosophical and shit when he smokes. So they said that line, and we just started this huge discussion on taking chances and not being afraid of uncertainties. In real life, there's no warning music. You just have to jump, and take the chance." As I was speaking, I let my hands wonder to his chest. It felt so strong, and I could feel some definition. I felt myself getting wetter.

"Anyway…" I continued, trying to stay on track. "...thirty minutes later, we just started busting out laughing that we related so well to this line. Jasper had always wanted a tattoo, and since we do everything together, I went with him, and I got this. It makes me smile because it represents my attitude and reminds me of my best friend."

"It suits you." He admitted simply. "This tattoo shop was safe and clean right?" He asked concerned.

"Of course, Edward. I had to pull out my best fake ID." I told him proudly.

"I should have known you had a fake ID." I just shrugged my shoulders, and ran my fingers through his messy hair and down his chest.

"What do you normally do on a Friday night?" I asked him.

"Are you trying to ask me if I have plans tomorrow, Angel?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"I have plans, but I can cancel if you want." I was somewhat disappointed when I heard that I couldn't spend Friday night with him. But since I didn't want him to cancel his plans because of me, I tried my best to hide it.

"It's cool. What are you doing?"

Edward rubbed my arms soothingly and kissed my nose.

"If you want, you could probably join me. I'm not really comfortable bringing a minor into a bar, but I am thinking it wouldn't be your first trip inside one… am I right?"

"Yes, you are," I stated. "I didn't expect you to be the type of guy to frequent bars."

"I don't, really. I only go when I am invited by my buddy, Robby."

"Why do you go for him?" I inquired.

"After I graduated high school, I spent my summer in England. While I was there, I met Robby. We really hit it off since we had the same interests, and we had a lot of fun jamming together. When I left, we kept in touch, exchanging emails and phone calls every now and then. He has been coming to the States to do some touring around bars and stuff. I told him I would go see him. He is very talented."

"Do you drink?" I asked him, because this boy was just full of surprises.

"I have a beer or two. I have never been drunk before though. I don't think it's a sin to have a glass of wine or a beer, just not in excess… There won't be anyone really there that knows me as Edward Cullen, Christian rocker, so you could come with me…"It sounded like he thought I might actually say no to him! Was he crazy?!

"You don't have to ask Edward. I'd love to go." I told him, smiling big.

"Great then, I'll pick you up around eight?"

"Sure! That'll be great." I said, a bit too eager.

I was excited already. I couldn't wait to spend Friday night with Edward… alone. Jasper said he had plans tomorrow and Renee had plans as well. That means Edward and me could come to my place afterwards, and we can have it all to ourselves. Plus, the thought of Edward in a bar excited me as well.

"It's getting late babe. Don't you have to get up early for school?"

I looked at my watch, and saw that it was almost midnight. I still could go home at this time, but I'd really rather much stay with Edward.

"I do, but I would rather stay with you. Can I stay?' I asked him with my puppy dog eyes,

adding a, "pretty please?"

"I can't deny you anything Bella," Edward admitted. The boy was wrapped around my finger already. "Thanks babe!" I said excitedly as I got off his lap. "I already have to sneak in anyway. Does it really matter if it's at one in the morning or six in the morning?" I asked.

"I guess not. But I don't really feel comfortable about sleeping in a bed together, which is why you can have my bed and I…. "

Hell no!

I didn't let him finish anymore because there was no way I would sleep in his bed alone without him in it.

"Fine… You don't want to share a bed? We can share the couch." I stated in a way that showed he shouldn't argue with me. But since I wasn't sure if that was enough, I pulled the sympathy card on him.

"We're just gonna sleep, Edward. I promise you. We won't do anything that you're not comfortable with. I just want to feel you hold me. I've never really had a boy just hold me before…" It was true. It's not like Jasper and I cuddled after we fucked.

"Fine." Edward sighed, defeated. I didn't want to be apart from him. My feelings for him were too intense already, and that made me feel scared.

"I'm going to grab a pillow and blanket. My mom keeps some extra toothbrushes around here somewhere. I'll go grab one for you. You can use my bathroom to do your...girl stuff." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. We went into his room, and I saw that it was really clean. It looked much than my own room.

Edward asked me to wait for him there since he went out to grab some pillows, blankets and a toothbrush. I took my time examining his room while he was gone. I walked around it, and saw that there was nothing really special about it. It was like the room of any normal guy. Except of course, there was a Bible in it. He had a few guitars hanging on the wall, and I ran my hand down one. Edward came back a few minutes after and handed me a brand new toothbrush.

He smirked at me and pointed me toward his bathroom. As I turned my back at him to walk away, something happened that I never thought was possible. Edward Cullen slapped my ass.

Holy. Mother. Of. God!

He slapped my ass. Mr. Innocent Edward Cullen just slapped my ass. I gasped and turned to him, clearly shocked at what he just did.

"Did you just slap my ass?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It just looked so… good." He looked like he was a bit embarrassed. I smiled at him.

"So you're an ass man? I like ass men." I stated as I walked into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and put the toothbrush in Edward's holder. I remained a few more minutes, fixing myself so I would look beautiful for Edward. We may just be sleeping tonight, but I still wanted to look gorgeous for him, even in my sleep.

When I walked outside after I was finished, I was caught off guard by what I saw. I found a shirtless god on the other side of the door. My face turned red when he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

Thank you, God.

"Sorry…" I mumbled. I wasn't sure if he'd be uncomfortable with me seeing him exposed.

"It's fine Bella. I do go swimming without a shirt onin public, you know." He joked, giving me a crooked smile. He walked towards his dresser drawer, and grabbed a pair of boxers and a wife beater for me.

"Here are some clothes if you want to sleep in something more comfortable." He said, handling them to me.

"Thanks." I said as I sat on his bed, pulling off my boots. I stood back up and undid the buttons of my skirt. I knew Edward would be uncomfortable, but if I ever wanted to have sex with him, I would have to be a bit more aggressive.

I let the skirt fall to the ground and stepped into his boxers, trying my best to look sexy while doing it. I took a glance at Edward who looked so torn, and he began to go "uh" and "um." I could tell he was trying to look away, and he hated that he couldn't find the will to remove his eyes from my strip tease.

"It's fine Edward. It's pretty much what I wear swimming in public, you know." I told him in the hopes of calming his guilt for watching me undress.

I was wearing white boy short underwear with black lace around the bottom. I pulled my shirt over my head, and Edward got to see the rest of my bra. I didn't want to give the boy a heart attack so I pulled on his white wife beater first, and then removed my bra. He shook his head and mumbled something about being the death of him.

He grabbed the pillow and blanket, and led me downstairs. It was a little after midnight so I set the alarm on my cell phone for five o'clock in the morning, giving me plenty of time to sneak back in through my window before Renee woke up seven o'clock.

Edward tossed the pillow on the couch, and lay down on his side back against the couch. I climbed in and snuggled close to him. He kissed my lips and my nose, while he pushed some hair off my face. I helped him pull the blanket over us, and I wrapped my leg over his hip.

"Good night Angel" Edward whispered, giving me one last kiss on my forehead.

"Good night" I said back as I inhaled my new favorite scent.

Maybe I was wrong after all… Maybe today was a day of answered prayers…

Review Review Review!! PLEASE!! I have no one to shot out to this time cause I didn't get to 250! I would die to get to 300. Please help!! Green button Review - I accept anonymous reviews - Teaser will be posted on the Twlighted forum - link on my profile and banner is being made! I am so excited! REVIEW!! I beg!!