I watched as the wheel spun further around, Discord was screwing with me...

"Oh, which of your loved ones will be next? I don't know, maybe your mother? Your newly found friends? Shall we watch Sand die again? No, the young private who you left to die..."

I tensed up, feeling my muscles tighten, and I grit my teeth in anger. The private he was referring to was a soldier whom it was my duty to protect. But he was cut off from contact, and by the time we had linked up, he was already dead. The scene before me changed, and the private was bloodied, crawling out. He had tears in her eyes, and was weeping. I growled and grit my teeth as I tried to get to him, but my legs were unresponsive.

"No! Don't you dare touch him!" I shout in anger. Just then, Discord steps on him, and he lets out a howl of pain. I try to rush over and help, but Discord jabs my gut with his lion paw. I fly back and grunt as I hit the ground. I watch helplessly as he brings a claw to his throat throat, and he begins to beg for his life. No... He was just a child! What had he ever done?

"Tinder?"

"NO! LET HIM GO YOU MONSTER! PRIVATE!"

I awoke with a panicked scream, and I pant heavily. My breathing is uneven, and I feel dizzy.

"Tinder, are you ok?" I hear. Next to me, Twilight is standing there, holding my hoof. I try to ease my breathing, but sweat is dripping down my face and reaching my lips, making the air hot and undesirable. I bring my hoof to my forehead, trying to ease my still frantic mind. Just a dream... Thank Celestia... Just a dream...

"Tinder?" Twilight asks with a concerned tone. I look to her, still panting heavily. I gently throw my covers off and walk to the window. My strength has returned to me, but I can't get this plagued nighttime menace out of my head.

"I'm okay... I'm fine..."

"You don't exactly sound fine." She says as she walks over to me. She looks me in the eye and looks at me with understanding, and kindness. I sigh.

"It's just a nightmare... I'm okay now..." I say. I can't bring myself to smile however, the final sight in my dream was... infuriating. What kind of sick monster would do that to an eleven year old? He was just a kid, he didn't deserve that. It was my fault, I should have kept a better eye on him. I'll never forget that devastated look on his parents face at his funeral...

"Do you have these nightmares very often?" She asks. I look away sheepishly.

"Yeah..."

"How often?"

"... Every night..." Twilight gives a slight gasp, and I look away. Pain is something I have seen way to much of, and I have no wish to see more of it. She places a hoof on my shoulder, and I look at it a while. The slight light given off by the moon illuminates her foreleg, and I turn to see her face. Again, she is sympathetic.

"I know what you're suffering from. And keeping it cooped up inside isn't going to help." She says. I sigh. She's probably right, but how could I talk about them? The images were... horrific. So many had died under my command... why did Sand have to die? Why not me? It would have been better for everypony...

"They're flashbacks and repeated deaths from the wars, aren't they?" She asks. I sigh.

"For the most part... yeah... but other times it's a dark spirit trying to corrupt me..." I say. I shake my head and scoff. I even sound crazy to myself...

"Do you wanna talk about it? Do you have any serious thoughts?" She asked. I looked to her and admitted my thoughts.

"Sand should have been the one to live... not me... why couldn't I have died on that battlefield and Sand be the one that survived? So many others would be alive if he were the one standing here..." I drop my head and cover my eyes. "I miss my brother... I miss my best friend... I miss my filly friend... I miss everypony..." I softly weep, and Twilight places a hoof on my back.

"It's me... Like everything else it's me... They're all dead because of me..." I guess I just couldn't take it anymore, because I began sobbing. It was quiet, but there may as well have been a water fall from my eyes. Twilight tears up as well, but wraps her forelegs around me. I know she's trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate the gesture, but it just won't work.

"But because of you your mom is alive and well. Because of you innocent lives were saved. Because of you your town can live in safety. And because of you... Hope lives." She said soothingly. I just continue to cry. That was actually true... hope did live with me... if nothing else... was my mom not living proof of my worth? She would have died if not for me... Maybe Twilight's right...

"Look... Tinder... I know it's hard to get stuff like that out of your head... but telling somepony... is the first step towards healing." She said. I sniff and wipe my eyes. Giving one last pant, I look over to her. She releases me from her grip, and smiles. I manage to give a weak smile back.

"It's not your fault they died. They gave their lives willingly for what was right. Just like you. Sand loved you and wanted you to be safe, so he sacrificed himself. He let himself go for the greater good. Just like you did in the Forest." She gives me another smile. I smile back, honestly this time. She was right... a piece of Sand lived on in me... He was a soldier... And he gave his life for what he thought was right. For so long I had blamed myself for not helping, but he willingly gave his life... for me.

"Thanks Twilight... I needed to hear that."