"I can help!" Eren howls.
"No!" barks Erwin as he darts out of the cabin again. "Stay out of sight!"
Mikasa paces the tiny room, her sword gripped in her hand. Eren clutches the map through his pocket. A bottle of rum tips over and rolls down the floor. Mikasa jumps. The cracks and hisses of cannons are deafening, and somewhere down below, on the gun deck, Eren knows someone has to be hurt—more likely, more than one someone.
Armin scrambles over to the window and gasps. "They're so close!"
Eren and Mikasa rush to the small window. Peering through the smeared glass, Eren spots the Beast, its disgusting carved monster grinning from the bow. It can't be more than a few hundred feet away.
"Erwin thinks they're going to try and board," Mikasa breathes. "That's why—"
"Isn't this the first place they'll think to look, though?" Eren cries out. His heart races and his head swims. What can I do? What can I do? "Mikasa—you take the map."
"What?"
"Eren—" Armin intervenes.
"It'll be safer with you—"
"Eren, if they board, Annie will immediately tell them who to look for, and if it isn't with you they'll turn to Mikasa," Armin says. "Or me."
"I can take it," Mikasa says quietly.
You fool. Eren shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"You—"
"Maybe you're not the only one who cares about protecting people you care about!" Eren shouts. "I'm not risking you!"
Mikasa blinks. The ship jerks and Armin pales.
"What?" Eren asks.
"We're barely moving," he says. "Our sails are in tatters. They're going to board us."
"I'll kill them before they touch you," Mikasa vows to Eren, tears in her eyes.
Eren claps his forehead. "If I turn myself in, this won't—"
"No!"
"We're going to sink," Armin whispers. Eren and Mikasa both turn to stare at him, his face as white as a ghost's and his lips bloody from gnawing on them. "We're sinking. We can't sail away."
"They can repair ships," Eren insists. Mikasa plants her sword in the deck and he realizes she agrees with Armin.
"We've got lifeboats, but they'll blast us out of the water," Armin mutters, clutching his head. "Think! Think!"
Horror courses through Eren. "Annie's in the brig! It'll be half underwater by now!" He remembers being locked in that reeking cage. He can't imagine drowning there.
"It's probably too late," Mikasa says.
"Maybe not," Armin says. He looks at them. "If she can parley with the Beast ship—"
"She won't help us. Have you forgotten what she did to—"
"I haven't, Mikasa, but we've got to take a chance! If we save her life from the brig, she'll know she's in our debt. Trust me." Armin's eyes flash. He clenches his fists. "I'm going. I'll be back."
"Armin, if you get trapped I won't know!" Mikasa screams, and Eren sees how terrified she is. Again, he thinks. It's happening again for her.
"You have to trust me," Armin says, marching towards the door.
"I do," Eren says. "Please, Armin." Save us, somehow. Mikasa can't die like this. I can't let my father down, not this way.
He darts out, and Mikasa buries her face in her hands. Eren sees tears tracking down her cheeks. "Mikasa—"
She uses her scarf, his scarf, to wipe her tears away. "Thank you," she says. "For wrapping this scarf around me."
Eren blinks. He doesn't understand. There's a strange acceptance, a peace in Mikasa's eyes.
"Thank you," she says, stepping closer. "For showing me how to live."
You're not going to die now. Eren grits his teeth. He remembers something Mikasa said once: the world is cruel, but the world is also beautiful.
You make my world beautiful, he thinks as he reaches out, pressing his fingertips to the woolen scarf that his mother knit for him. And I'm not going to let the world be cruel to you. Not this time.
The door bangs open. Eren whirls around, hoping for Armin, expecting Erwin.
Instead, he sees Reiner and Bertolt, both with what looks like soot smeared on their faces, both panting. Ymir's there too, stumbling and wounded.
"What happened?" Eren explodes.
"She should be in the med bay!" Mikasa yells.
"I'm okay," Ymir ekes out, looking frantically over her shoulder. "Far more—serious injuries—"
"There's a fire below deck!" Reiner shouts.
Eren turns to Mikasa. "Armin—"
"Armin's below deck?" Bertolt echoes, horror creasing his brow.
"He went to get Annie," Mikasa says. Bertolt and Reiner exchange a glance. Ymir snorts.
"Mikasa, you have to get him," Eren pleads, grasping her hand. She looks to him in shock. "He could get trapped—"
"We'll guard Eren," Reiner vows, stepping forward. "No one's getting past us."
"They're the next best thing after you," Eren says. He wants to smile, but he can't. Please don't die, Armin!
His plan won't work. Annie has to be dead. Eren's stomach lurches. He grabs Erwin's table, bolted to the floor.
Mikasa nods, sheathing her sword. "I'll be back. Eren—if Erwin tells you to do anything, do it. I trust him."
And she's gone, and Eren's left gripping his knees.
"Sorry, Eren," Reiner says, advancing with his fists curled.
Unease sparks in Eren's belly. He takes a step back. "For what?"
"Hold what gunpowder you have left!" Erwin's voice booms through the gun deck.
"Why?" yells Connie, face slick with sweat. Sasha's fingers are singed and her neck aches from bending over and carrying heavy bags. She doesn't understand why Erwin would ask them to—
"We're going to surrender," Erwin tells them.
"We can't!" Marlowe explodes. "If they catch—"
"We will not raise a white flag. We will just stop firing. They'll try to board us, but we'll be departing in lifeboats from the starboard side."
"They'll see us."
"They'll also get blown up by our leftover gunpowder," Erwin says. "It'll heavily damage their ship, at least, and hopefully they'll focus on fixing—"
"Where are we going to row to?" Sasha squeaks out. This is not what she wanted when she ran away. She just wanted food… and safety. Not this nightmare.
"In this heavy fog, we won't have to row far for them to lose track of us. And there is an island about a day away."
A day? Sasha's shoulders throb in protest.
"I'll lower the boats down the starboard side. Be ready to climb into them from the gun deck." Erwin marches away.
"Where's Marco?" Jean asks.
"I haven't seen him," Connie answers wearily. Blood flecks his cheek from that poor pirate whose body still lies in the corner. Sasha doesn't even remember his name.
Jean gets to his feet. "Do you smell smoke?"
Sasha's been smelling smoke for almost a half hour now.
"Cannons," Connie says, as if to rebuke Jean.
"No," Sasha counters. "Jean's right." She gulps as the ship continues to list. "I think we're on fire."
Connie's eyes widen. Hitch gasps, and Jean runs to the ladder.
"Jean, get back!" Connie hollers. "You'll—"
"Levi and Hange might need help getting people out from the med bay!" he yells.
"If they haven't already been blown to pieces," Connie mumbles.
Sasha feels frozen to the deck as Jean's footsteps echo away.
"You're a coward, Sasha."
She knows it. All the changes in her home village were too much for her to deal with, so she ran away. And now—and now—Sasha squeezes her fist, tears stinging her eyes. Heat creeps up the back of her neck, her cheeks.
"Sasha?" Connie questions.
I'm going to be sick. Her stomach undulates, but Sasha staggers to her feet. "I have to—go help Hange," she says, wanting to wipe the words from her lips the moment they pass through.
"What?"
Sasha turns and runs; this time, towards the danger. Part of one of the ladders has been blown away. She finds a small hole in the rubble Jean must have jumped through and wriggles through.
"Sasha!"
"What are you doing, Connie?" she yells over her shoulder as she lets go and drops to the deck. The smoke is thicker here, burning her eyes. She coughs.
"I'm not letting you do this alone!"
"Do you want to die?"
"Do you?" He falls, landing on top of Sasha. "Where did Jean go?"
"I don't know!" Sasha drags herself out from under him. You're not alone, she reminds herself, heart thumping. "Thanks, Connie."
He casts her a strange look. "Of course."
He says it like it's the most natural thing in the world for him to run into danger. Sasha's not like that. "I'm scared."
"I wish I'd never left home," Connie admits as they make it to the deck where the med bay's located.
You, too? She meets his eyes. He almost smiles. You understand.
"Oh, thank God!" barks Hange, Petra leaning on her frame.
"We're abandoning ship," Connie informs her. Levi appears with Oruo, who staggers but can walk on his own, and Eld, who wobbles.
"That way!" Sasha helps pull them up. Gunthur manages to crawl through on his own as well, but Mike—Levi returns to help Nanaba carry him. His shirt's missing and his side's been bandaged as tightly and heavily as Sasha imagines it can be, and still blood droplets appear like sinister roses.
"Sasha, you lead them ahead!" Hange barks.
Lead? Sasha blinks. "O—okay!"
"Hey!" Jean's voice echoes through the dark as she helps push Petra through the narrow hole.
"Jean!" screams Connie. "You're—"
He appears from the corridor, hacking. Marco's slung over his shoulder, unconscious.
"What happened?" Sasha yelps, sticking her head through the hole to peer down at him.
"No idea! He's alive, though!"
Hange swears. "I'll pull him up," Levi grouses as he appears up the ladder. "After you."
Jean hesitates.
"Trust me or don't trust me!" Levi barks. "Make your choice!"
Jean scrambles over. Connie gives him a boost, and Sasha hauls him through the hole. Hange follows, and then Levi pushes Connie, and Sasha has to run on ahead to the last ladder, hoping and hoping that they make it to the gun deck, all of them.
"You made it!" screams Hitch when they reappear.
"Marco!" cries Marlowe.
"Lie down, Mike," Nanaba encourages. He moans.
"Get him in the first boat," Hange orders as it lowers down. "Nanaba, Levi, you go with them, Petra, and Oruo, Marco and Jean. And Connie, Sasha, you go too—enough of you can row. And Hitch and Marlowe, you can fit—"
"The boat's going to need you," Levi points out. "Doctor."
Hange hesitates.
"I can stay behind. I'll go with Eld and Gunthur," Levi says. "And direct everybody else."
Hange narrows her eyes. "You better get in a boat, Levi." And then she turns to Sasha. "Help pull Mike in."
Sasha nods, clambering out. The moment she's on the small lifeboat, suspending in the air by pulleys, her heart starts to hammer. Her shoulders scream at her as she grabs Mike by the shoulders, pulling him into the boat. "Sorry!" she gasps, even though she doubts he can hear her.
Marco comes next, and then Jean, and the boat's filling up.
"Reiner," mumbles Marco.
"You're awake!" Jean looks almost in tears.
"Bertolt," Marco ekes out.
"They'll be fine," Jean assures Marco as they lower towards the water. Sasha grips an oar. "They'll get in another boat; we have plenty—"
"No, they—they're—working for—with Annie—"
"What?" shouts Hange.
Annie curses herself. She shouldn't care if Christa dies. Since Christa knows, she should even want that. But as Annie weaves her way through the ship's library, gathering what she can before everything falls apart, she spots the girl creeping by. As Christa heads off in a direction that will surely lead to her being trapped, Annie's conscience screams at her.
She hears the sound of a cat mewing, and fear scrapes at her. Annie whirls around to see the ship's cat racing by her, after Christa. "No!"
The hell with this, Annie decides, charging off after her. "Christa!"
A figure tumbles down one of the ladders, knocking into Annie. She screams, kicking. Armin grunts.
Armin? Annie gapes at him. No, please no!
"You're free," he gasps. "How?" In his grip, she sees the brass keys to the brig.
"What are you doing with those?" she snaps, choking as smoke shoves its way into her lungs.
"Coming to save you!"
Annie can't breath. Even after—what I did?
A huge crackling echoes from above, and a sickening moan. The entire deck above them shudders, and the ceiling splinters. Armin yelps.
"The mast," Annie breathes.
Armin pales. "If you grab a rope, you can swing over to their ship. Your ship."
The words sound distasteful to Annie. "I know." She grabs her canvas bag of maps and scrolls. "We need to head back the way you came; it's the only way that isn't blocked by now and it will be in another five minutes." But Christa—the cat—
Armin nods, grasping the ladder. "Annie?"
Her legs tremble. Dammit!
I really am weak.
She turns and runs in the other direction. She hears Armin curses, and then a thud. No! "Go back!" she screams at him, turning to see him crumpled in a heap on the deck. "Christa is—do you want to be trapped too?"
Armin blanches. "What did you do to her?" he shouts.
"I did nothing! She went the wrong way!" Annie swears. She can't do anything but plunge ahead and hope for a miracle. A voice that sounds an awful lot like Reiner's echoes in the back of her head, accusing her of having a weak commitment.
Unlike Armin. He rushes after her, his lips pressed together and eyes determined. "Christa!"
"Christa!" Annie calls. Dammit, the smoke's thicker over here. Her lungs tremble.
"Armin?" Christa answers feebly.
Annie darts to the left, rattling the heavy door. "Christa!"
It swings open. Christa shrieks when she sees her, a pathetic cat huddling in her arms. "You!"
"She's helping me find you!" Armin shouts.
"You lit the ship on fire!"
"What?" Armin turns to gape at Annie.
"Reiner and Bertolt," Annie says. "We're working together." The bag of scrolls, so light minutes ago, feels heavy now. She coughs. Her lungs smart.
"I can't open the hatch in here!" Christa cries. Ash is smeared over her face, and her shoulder hangs limp. Blood runs down her arm; the other clutches the cat, who howls.
"It's chained," Annie ekes out. "You won't be able to—we have to go back—"
"The fire—" Armin starts.
"It's our only chance!" Annie shouts at them.
Another groan echoes above. Annie freezes.
Crack.
"Get out of the way!" Armin throws himself at both Christa and Annie, pushing them back. The deck above them shudders.
Another mast came down, Annie realizes. She pries herself off the floor—if only it'd broken through the deck—the ship's tilting so much she has a hard time getting to her feet. "Help me smash the window, Armin."
"And then what?"
"Can't you swim?"
He nods. Christa blanches. "I can't."
"I'll help you," Annie tells her. "I promise." Only to kill her later?
"Promise me you'll return," her father told her, surprising her with a hug for the first time in her life, providing that one kernel she clings to at night: he cares for her.
Christa's father, if she's who Annie suspects she is, did nothing of the sort. They can't die.
I can't do this.
I'm weak.
She looks into Armin's eyes as he grabs a stool. He's physically weak, but he's stronger than Annie in ways that matter more.
"Give that to me." She dumps her scrolls and maps. They'll get wet, anyways. Raising the stool above her head, she charges for the window, slamming it against the glass.
Nothing.
Again! Annie smashes the leg into the window. This time, it chips. After three more strikes, it splinters, and with her hands blistering, glass showers down into the water. Annie grips the edge and slides through easily enough. She dangles there. "I'll let go," she calls. "And then Christa, you come and I'll get you, okay? And Armin—" They don't have far to fall, and they'll have to risk the glass. "There's a lifeboat! I'll get you to it."
And she lets go, tumbling into the ocean. It swallows her, cold and burning. She gags, kicking furiously to break the surface. A splash echoes next to her, and Annie doesn't even have time to blink the sweater from her eyes before she grabs Christa. "Don't panic!" she orders, holding the girl as she treads water. Another splash, and she knows Armin's made it.
The cat yowls, clawing at Christa. "Give it to Armin!" Annie chokes out. Stupid animal—if you keep scratching you'll drown!
She heads for the lifeboat.
"Where's Christa?"
Mikasa can hear Ymir screaming above her before she reaches the gunner's deck. Please be—
No Armin. She searched as far as she could for him, but couldn't find a sign of him.
She races to the edge, peering off at the lifeboats floating nearby. "Armin! Christa's there!" she bellows, hoping Ymir hears her. Swimming—with Annie? Sasha hauls them into a lifeboat.
"What the hell?" she hears Levi breathe behind her.
"Last lifeboat!" Erwin shouts from up above. Levi grunts, and that's when Mikasa notices the piles of gunpowder bags, and the line running towards it.
"You're—"
"It's our only shot," Levi says.
"Where's Eren?"
"Already on that lifeboat." Levi points below, to the one that's just hit the water with Ymir, Bertolt, and Reiner in it as well.
And no one else. How many people have we lost?
Mikasa's head pounds. It feels as if someone's squeezing her skull, grinding her brain. He left without me?
"Everyone who isn't essential is gone bow," Levi says. "Except you. We need to—"
Eren's head is down in the boat, and Reiner has a strong arm wrapped around him. Ymir isn't rowing, either—she's leaving it to Bertolt and Reiner, and sits stiff.
"Get in," Levi orders, and Mikasa clambers into the last lifeboat. Levi follows, and the smell of smoke and gunpowder and blood fade. Seven other pirates huddle.
"How is the captain getting down?" Mikasa asks Levi.
Levi doesn't have to answer. Erwin leaps down as Levi cuts the ropes from down below. Mikasa grabs an oar, rowing with all her might.
With a flash, the ship explodes. Heat sizzles against Mikasa's skin, and a wave throws their lifeboat. For a moment Mikasa fears they'll tip over, but they slam back down against the surface.
"Head towards the others," Erwin orders, hunching forward without looking at his destroyed ship, the one Mikasa suspects he's had since his navy days. Sasha's boat floats closer, having just picked up Annie, Armin, and Christa, but several others dot the horizon, vanishing into the fog.
Hange cups her hands around her mouth, seemingly yelling something at them, but Mikasa can't make it out. They need to get away from the Beast ship—
Something slithers down Mikasa's spine. She jerks her head to the left.
Eren's boat.
Rowing away from the group.
And what Hange's yelling—Armin, too—sounds suspiciously like "Reiner" and "Bertolt."
Mikasa drops her oar and Levi snatches it. "No!"
"What the hell do you think you're—"
"They have Eren!" Mikasa screams, standing. She'll jump in—she'll swim—even if that horrible Marlay—
"Stop!" Levi grabs her by her waist. "You can't! You'll die!"
"Eren will die! And Ymir—" Mikasa's heart throbs. Tears pour down her throat. She screams into her scarf.
"We'll never make it," Erwin says, as he examines the distance between them. "They'll shoot us out of the water."
"So we just give up?" Mikasa shouts in his face. "You—"
"Shut up!" Levi yells, grabbing her.
"But Eren—"
"We can't! Not in our position, not now!" Levi shakes her. The water swirls behind him, all around them.
I failed, Mikasa thinks. A lump settles in her chest. I failed.