.:Tainted Innocence:.
Chapter Nine
Conversations and Shopping Trips
Bella Pov:
Rosalie glanced at Edward, her expression unreadable. The two of them must have had a silent conversation, because Edward nodded and sighed deeply.
"I am going for a quick hunt, okay Bella? I won't be far, and I will be back shortly." Irrational fear overwhelmed me, and Edward must have noticed it. He held me to his chest and placed loving kisses on top of my head. "Its alright, Love. I promise you I will be right back. Rosalie just wants to talk to you, and Alice is in the other room. She can hear you very easily. If at any time you get too upset, let her know and she will come get me. Okay?"
I nodded and shyly kissed his cheek. Edward beamed brightly at me and stood from his place on the couch. He gave a pointed look in Rosalie's direction and exited the room.
Rosalie took Edward's seat and gave me a sorrowful look. But this look was not one of pity, it was of understanding.
"First off Bella...I would like to apologize for the awful way I have treated you. Its really nothing against you, its just how I am with everyone. I should have known you would not reveal our secret, its just, this is the only family I have. So I am rather protective of them..." She trailed off, her gaze focused on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I felt the shame creep up on me again. The shame that Phil put there. I wasn't worth looking at, nor her apology.
"Its alright, Rosalie. I understand, really I do. With a family as wonderful as yours, I would be doing everything I can to protect them as well." It was true. The Cullens were wonderful people. Vampire or not, they have treated me better than any human has. And only in the short time I have known them.
"Thank you for understanding..." I simply nodded and brought my knees to my chest. The shame was like a fire in my chest. It consumed me. Charring my perfectly crafted numbness. The numbness that has been keeping the shame a bay. I had opened the floodgates, and here comes the pain.
"Bella, would you like some help?" Jasper stood in the doorway. His face looked contorted with grief. Grief that was not his to be burdened with.
"No thank you Jasper." I spoke quietly. Jasper gave me a sympathetic look and walked out of the room, leaving me with Rosalie once again.
"Don't, Bella. I know what you are doing, and you can't let it control you." She knew what I was doing? How could she know... "Bella, I have felt what you are feeling now...Has anyone ever told you the story behind my transformation?" I shook my head no. I was never told anyone's reason for transformation, aside from Edward. Rosalie took a deep, unnecessary breath and sighed heavily. "Alright. I was turned in 1933. I was the daughter of a wealthy family."
I sat quietly, but nodded whenever Rosalie would pause, encouraging her to continue. "I was raised to believe money and beauty could get you anywhere in life. I was very vain, and still can be to this day. My parents always wanted me to marry into money, someone who could take care of me. My father worked at a bank. Thats where I met my fiance, Royce King." Rosalie kept her eyes on me, and I tried not to squirm under her gaze. I nodded and brought my lip to my mouth, capturing it with my teeth. "Royce was a handsome man with a lot of money, that was really all he had going for him. We were engaged quickly and I was rather excited to become his wife. I had always dreamed of a family. I have always wanted to be a mother, beyond anything else." She smiled whimsically at me, her eyes seemed so far away, like she was reliving her past life.
"One night, I was walking home from visiting a friend, and came across Royce and a group of his friends. Royce was drunk off his ass, and so were the other men. Royce began to 'show off' his beautiful fiance. To make a long story short, Royce and his friends raped and beat me until I was near death." If vampires could shed tears, I was sure Rosalie would have at that moment. So I shed them for her. I felt her pain, and she felt mine. At that moment, I had felt closer to Rosalie than I ever thought possible. "Thats when Carlisle found me. He found me, changed me, and took me in."
"What ever happened to Royce?" My voice quivered with emotion. I appreciated what Rosalie was doing. I knew from experience, that it was hard to talk about. She was so brave, braver than I could ever be.
"Shortly after I was changed...Now I am not proud of this, Bella. But I was so angry. Angry that my opportunity to have children, and be a mother was taken away from me. And it was Royce's fault...I killed them, Bella. But I did not drink their blood. I could not bring myself to have any part of those men inside me. Their blood was tainted, as tainted as they made me feel." I didn't blame Rosalie. There had been times where I thought about killing Phil...All I would have to do is wait until he was asleep, and then stab him in the heart. He damaged mine, so I could destroy his...But I could never do that to my Mother. Nor do I think I ever had the courage to do it. I was too afraid of him. Afraid of becoming more tainted than I already was. I lost my innocence one rainy night in Arizona, there was no need to completely obliterate it with someone else's blood on my hands. But I was glad Rosalie got her closure.
"You see, Bella. The very beauty I was raised to worship. The very beauty that led me to Royce, sealed my fate. And now I am stuck in this body. Stuck in an everlasting beauty that I would give up in a second if that meant I was able to be a mother. I don't have the ability to die, to have a normal relationship with a human, to walk in the sun without causing suspicion, to grow old and watch my children grow...All I have is my beauty, and Emmett. So now you see, when I may seem vain, or even a cold hearted bitch to some..." Her shoulders shook with silent, tearless sobs.
"Rosalie...You are not a bitch, nor do I see you as vain. I want to thank you...for sharing your story with me. It really means a lot to me...You are a very brave woman, and I think I see you more clearly now than before. You are stronger than I could ever be...And I am glad to have known you." tears were flowing down my face. Rosalie has suffered more than a person should have to. This whole family, I had a feeling, has been through more suffering than I could imagine. I rubbed my eyes furiously, ridding them of my tears. Rosalie then did something I wasn't expecting. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close. I quickly returned the embrace and smiled weakly.
"Thank you Bella..."
"Hey, Bella Bear, don't hog my wife!" Emmett's booming laughter filled the room, and his big form plopped down beside Rosalie.
"We were having a moment, you big lug!"
"Exactly...A very intimate, non lesbian moment...Can I bring in the mud and have you two roll in it? Then you can continue." I blushed deeply and Rosalie smacked him in the back of the head. "What? Can't blame a guy for trying!"
"Picture my Bella rolling around in mud, in nothing but a bikini again...And I will have to kill you." My head whipped around to see a very flustered Edward, standing in the doorway. He walked slowly over to me and held out his hand. "Come, love. I'll show you where you can sleep tonight."
"Sleep? But Char-"
"Already took care of it!" Alice bounced into the room holding a small overnight bag. "I got you some Pajamas, and toiletries for the morning! We are going to have so much fun tomorrow, Bella!"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah! I already called Charlie and told him that we ran into you at the movies, and I begged you to stay the night. He said it was alright and for you to have fun, and that he will see you when he gets home tomorrow night. We are going to have a blast! We can go shopping, and Rose and I can do your hair...Oh! And we should totally do-"
"Alice! Chill out before I drag your husband in here to sedate you..." Edward smirked and took my hand, gently pulling me to his side. "She will decide what she wants to do tomorrow, when tomorrow gets here. Until then, I am going to take her to my room for her to get some rest." He snatched the bag from an irritated Alice and pulled me with him. I glanced back and mouthed another 'Thank You' to Rosalie. She smiled and nodded.
Edward pointed out the rooms as we made our way to his. He showed me Rosalie and Emmett's room, Alice and Jasper's room, Carlisle's study, and another assortment of rooms, before we made it to his door.
"I uh...I don't own a bed so...But the couch is big enough for two people to lay on it so you should have enough room...Sorry...I don't sleep so I-"
"Edward, its alright." I smiled warmly and laced my fingers with his. "I could even sleep on the floor and be comfortable."
"You will do no such thing! I will just have a bed ordered and put in my room. Y-You know...In case you ever stay with us again...That is, if you ever wanted to-"
"Edward, you don't have to order a bed for my benefit. You don't sleep, and it would just be a waste of money to buy one. If I do stay with you again some night, the couch will do just as well as it will tonight."
"I will not have my Bella sleeping on a couch. I am only allowing this for tonight. From now on you will have a bed while you stay here."
"There is no arguing with you is there?" I smiled and sat on the couch as Edward chuckled.
"No, not when you're involved." He sat beside me and gathered me in his arms. I rested my head against his shoulder and took in his scent. Honey, lilac, and sun. I had never felt more at home than I did at that moment. I yawned deeply into his shirt, letting my eyes flutter closed. I could fall asleep just like this if I had it my way. "You should change, and then get some rest, love. You have had a hard night." He kissed the top of my head and handed me the overnight bag and left the room for me to get dressed.
I stared at the pajamas in confusion, these weren't mine. The tags were still on them, and I realized Alice must have bought them. I would have to pay her back later. I slid on the black silk top and Capri bottoms and shoved my old cloths back into the bag. They were rather comfy, even more comfortable than my usual holy sweat pants and tank-top. I would have to thank Alice later.
"You decent?" I giggled slightly when Edward peeked his head through the door with his hand over his eyes.
"Yes." He smiled warmly at me when he lowered his hand, and his eyes met mine. "You will stay with me, right?" I brought my lip between my teeth and fiddled with the hem of the silk top. How did he always keep me so flustered?
"Of course. I am yours all night." I blushed and thanked him quietly.
"Edward? I found some blankets and pillows for Bella." Esme appeared in the entry way and smiled at me. I really liked her, she was so motherly. Something I have been craving for awhile now. "Is there anything we can get you, dear?"
"No thank you Ma'am. You have all done more than enough for me as it is. Thank you." Edward took the blankets and pillows from her and started making up the couch.
"Call me Esme, dear. And we are glad to have you in our home, I'm sorry we were not more prepared. Next time we will be!" She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. I stood frozen for a moment, but quickly returned the embrace, holding back tears. I have gotten more physical contact today, than I had in a long time. "We are always here for you, Bella. Sleep well, sweetie." She released me and winked at Edward, before walking back out of the room.
"You ready?" Edward gently took my hand and led me to the couch, where I laid down and snuggled up against him as he enveloped me in his arms. "Esme seems to have really taking a liking to you. She is very maternal, so you are practically her daughter already." He laughed and stroked my hair. "The whole family seems to like you. Getting Rosalie to like anyone is near impossible."
I buried my face into his chest and breathed him in greedily. "Rosalie is actually a very nice person, from what I have gathered. I understand why she comes off the way she does. She just wants to protect the ones she loves." I closed my eyes and draped my arm around him. "She also is putting up her protective walls, so she can't be hurt anymore than she already has been. Just like I have." I was emotionally and physically drained, I felt myself begin to doze off. "But for some reason...When I am around you...My walls come tumbling down..." I whispered as the blackness took hold of me.
----
Edward Pov:
As I held my Angel in my arms, watching her sleep peacefully, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the mass of emotions that flooded me. I was deeply in love, for one...Happy for the first time in...well forever...Guilty for feeling such happiness, when Bella is filled with so much hurt...And angry beyond all belief, with a side of homicidal maniac vampire...
I felt guilty for leaving Bella with Rosalie earlier, but if I didn't walk away for a moment, I would frighten Bella. I had gone out into the woods, just far enough so I was out of hearing distance for Bella. I unleashed the rage filling me. I unrooted several trees, and released a loud, blood curdling snarl I had been suppressing. The very thought of anyone touching Bella without her permission sent me into unbelievable rage. I was seeing red, and the only thing I wanted to do was hunt down the pathetic excuse for a human being, and rip him limb from limb.
No. That would be too good for him, too quick. I would slowly destroy everything that meant something to him, and then slowly dismantle his body. His blood would not tempt me. I wouldn't want something that putrid in my body. I would make him beg for death, but withhold it until he feels the ultimate pain imaginable. Perhaps allow my venom to course through his veins, setting his flesh on fire. A fire he could not extinguish. Then, right before his heart beats its last, right before the pain beings to subside, I destroy him. I would not give him the satisfaction of feeling a hint of relief. He would feel the agonizing pain until the very end. The imaginary flames would end, but soon he would rot in hell, where larger, more painful flames would engulf his body.
And he deserved every second of it, for touching my Bella.
I know if Bella knew how I truly felt about what she had revealed to us tonight, it would scare her. But that just goes to show, that I really am a monster. I have killed people before, but have stopped and tried to turn my 'life' around. But at that moment, the very second the word 'raped' slipped from her lips, my murderous past was rearing its ugly head. If it hadn't been for Alice flashing a vision in my head, over how distraught Bella would be, the guilt she would feel, I would have killed Phil without a second thought. I had been planning the best way to go about covering his disappearance, when Alice flashed me the vision. I knew I couldn't do that to Bella. No matter how badly I wanted Phil dead. But if he ever tried anything with her again, I would kill him. And that was a promise I would keep. The bastard does not even deserve to breath the same air as her. If I had it my way, he wouldn't be breathing at all.
That can be arranged...
Bella's quiet murmuring broke me out of my reverie. She buried her face into my chest and sighed contently. Even after all that has happened today, I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face. After all she has been through tonight, knowing she felt safe in my arms meant the world to me. She meant the world to me. And I would put her protection above all else. She was my life now.
And she 'loved' me...
Edward, how is she doing? Alice's thoughts filled my head. I lowered my voice to an octave too low for humans, but loud enough for Alice to hear on the other side of the door.
"As well as can be expected. Thanks, you know, for stopping me earlier."
Yeah well, you better keep your anger in check around Bella. She seems pretty fragile.
"No shit, Alice. I know. I don't know what came over me." Who am I kidding. I know what came over me. The reasonable anger any man would feel when finding out the woman he loved had been raped. What was I supposed to do? Tell her that shit happens and to suck it up? I don't think so. I had a right to be livid.
Keep it up and I won't let you play with us tomorrow.
"Alice, what are you going to subject my poor Bella to?" I smiled to myself thinking of all the tortures Bella faced. Shopping with Alice. That was like some messed up chinese torture method.
I will not be 'subjecting' her to anything. I will simply show her that this family is here for her! We all will, in our own little way. I, of course, will take her shopping. I smirked and chuckled, knowing my sister all too well. Rosalie will come with us. It will be a girl thing, so you have to stay home.
Now that bit of information, I did not like. "Alice." I warned. I heard her snort and could practically hear her roll her eyes at me.
Don't be such a baby. You can handle being away from her for a few hours! Stop hogging Bella! She is my friend too!
"Alice, after tonight...I don't know if I can be away from her, for any amount of time." I was starting to sound a little on the possessive side...Okay, a lot on the possessive side. But can you blame me?
Edward, we will take good care of her. I just want her to know she can always come to me. And buy her a complete new wardrobe, seeing as the girl has great curves and refuses to show them off!
"She may not feel up to that Alice. You know...after what that..." I couldn't even think of a word suited for that kind of evil.
I am not going to skank her up Edward! Just try to give her a little more confidence. She will be all yours when we return. We will wake her up early tomorrow, so you have enough time with her. Okay, Mr. Greedy pants?
"I am not being greedy!...And...thank you Alice. I think she might need a little girl time. Regardless on how badly I want to keep her all to myself, I think she may need you...Even Rosalie. She seems to have taking a liking to her. God only knows why."
I heard that Bitch! Rosalie's angry voice echoed in my mind. I smiled to myself. I always received that kind of reaction from her.
Well I take back what I said about her being all yours when we return her...It seems everyone in the family wants to get to know Bella. She may never want to come back again at this rate!
"Don't even joke about that Alice!...What do you mean everyone wants to get to know Bella..."
It seems they all want to contribute to making her feel more welcomed here. To help bring her out of her shell. Don't worry Edward. No one will do anything to scare her off. From what I can see, tomorrow will go smoothly. I even think Bella will warm up to everyone by the end of the day!
"Well I hope so. But remind the others...Well basically Emmett, not to touch her. I am sure Carlisle and Jasper already grasp that male touch frightens Bella...But I don't think Emmett fully understands."
Already got the talk from Carlisle, dude! Too bad though. I was gonna give our little Bella Bear a bear hug!
"Emmett, she is not ready for that...Bella Bear?" I scoffed at the little nickname. She was definitely not a bear...she was an Angel. But I suppose Bella Bear will do with Emmett.
I know, I know! Besides...Rosalie will hurt me if I make Bella cry. And she said she will hold out se-
"Emmett! I don't want to know about your sex life! I have to listen to your perverted brain enough as it is!" I could hear his booming laughter from here, followed by a smack to the head, who I assumed to be Rosalie.
"Ow, Babe! What was that for!" Yep...Rosalie.
"Bella is sleeping you big lug! Keep your voice down."
Bella squirmed in my arms, but quickly settled her head against my chest. She murmured my name softly and her breathing evened out again. I smiled and brushed my lips to her temple. She really was my angel.
Bright an early in the morning, Edward. I'll take care of her.
"I know you will Alice."
We are happy for you, son. But be careful with her.
"I will Carlisle...Thanks." Alice was right. It seemed everyone in the family was supportive of Bella. I knew Esme would instantly love Bella. But I didn't know the whole family would embrace my relationship with her...Well maybe it was just her they were embracing, and not our relationship. Oh well. We are a package deal now. There is no Me without Bella. I am just glad they accept that. Or they soon would.
But what did this mean for the future? Sure Alice saw Bella like us...But I couldn't allow that. I would simply enjoy the time we have together, meaning I would stay by her side until she dies an old woman, the way things are supposed to be. And then, I would go to the Volturi to handle my passing as well. I know I would not meet Bella at the "pearly gates" but, like I said before. There is no me without Bella. When her time comes to an end, so would my limitless existence. Now that I have a taste of Heaven, I can't live without it. It would be too painful. Beyond any pain I could fathom.
Hours past, and I spent every minute watching the beautiful creature in my arms. Her mumbling was not always coherent, but when it was, it was usually my name. This made my heart swell, knowing that she dreamt of me, and it wasn't a nightmare. When she would stir, I would hum her lullaby to her, and she would settle against me. How was it possible to be so in love with someone, you barely knew? All I knew, is it would cause physical pain to be parted from her now. I was in love with this girl, and there was no turning back now.
----
Bella Pov:
I blinked through the haze of the early morning. My eyes felt heavy and stung, I brought my fists to them and rubbed my eyes to rid the pain. Cold lips brushed across my forehead, snapping my attention to the greek god holding me in his arms. Edward smiled down at me and ran his fingers down my cheek, which was now flushed.
"Good morning, Love. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes." I croaked. My throat felt like someone had taken sandpaper to it. It was rough and hoarse from crying the night before. Edward furrowed his brows in concern and lifted me from his lap, and held me to his chest. "What are you doing?"
"I am taking you downstairs to take care of you." His smile was warm and full of love.
"I can walk though..."
"Maybe I don't wanna let go of you." His smile turned into a crooked one, which caused me to blush more.
Who could argue with that logic?
He carried me carefully, almost as if I was going to break, downstairs. The smell of French Toast hit my senses, causing my stomach to rumble, to my embarrassment. Edward smiled down at me and sat me gently on a stool in front of the island in the large kitchen.
"Meal time for the Human, yet again." He winked at me and took the stool next to mine.
"Here you go Bella, I hope you are hungry dear." Esme placed a large plate of, what looked to be, the most appetizing french toast I have ever seen in my life.
"Yes Ma-...Uh, Esme...But you really didn't have to do that. You guys don't even eat."
"Non sense! You are our guest, and we are going to take care of you. Now eat up, you are too skinny!" She smiled warmly while shaking her spatula at me. If my throat didn't hurt I would have laughed. Edward jumped up and quickly dashed to the fridge. I watched wide eyed as his hands moved quicker than humanly possible, and placed a large glass of milk in front of me.
"This should help with your throat." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I could tell he was still worried about me. No doubt, thinking about last night. I felt guilty for bringing my problems in on this family, but I felt more guilty for enjoying the attention they were giving me. The way Esme and Rosalie had hugged me, showing me the kind of affection I had craved for...awhile now. The way Edward held me last night, refusing to leave my side, even though he had to be bored out of his mind watching me sleep. I would have to find a way to make it up to this family. They have done too much for me already. I smiled halfheartedly back at them and mumbled a quiet thank you. I took a small bite of the french toast and moaned in delight.
"Wow, Esme, this is amazing! Were you a cook as a human or something?" She chuckled and her smile brightened.
"No, dear. But food network can be a good source for all things cooking related!" I had to laugh with her, regretting it instantly as my throat raged in protest. Edward noticed and pushed the milk towards me. I smiled in thanks, which probably looked more like a grimace, and swallowed the cold liquid quickly. It helped distinguish the raging fire in my throat almost instantly. There he was taking care of me again. I would defiantly have to thank this family somehow...
"Bella! You are up! Thats great, because we have a long day ahead of us!" Alice bounced into the kitchen, followed by Rosalie, who surprisingly smiled at me. I thought maybe her kindness would be a one time thing with me. But maybe she has let her wall down for someone in the same situation as her...
"Long day? And what does this long day entail?" I swallowed hard and looked up to Edward, who was glaring daggers at his sister.
"Well shopping, of course!" She rolled her eyes and smiled, plopping down next to me. "And don't give me that look Edward! I told you about this last night!"
"And I told you, it should be up to Bella."
"But Bella wants to go! Don't you Bella?" I really didn't want to go, I hated shopping. But Alice has done so much for me already, if she wanted to go shopping, I would grin and bear it.
"Um, sure Alice. I'll just go put on my clothes from yesterday and I'll-"
"You will not! Bella, we do not wear the same clothes two days in a row!" Alice leapt from the stool and stared at me incredulously. "We will find you something to wear." She nodded to herself.
"Alice...I don't think I could fi-"
"I have some clothes you can wear, Bella." Everyone whipped their heads in Rosalie's direction like she just said she had the cure for cancer. "What? My jeans may be a little long on you, but I have other clothes that could fit."
"Rosalie...T-Thanks. You really don't have to do that." I bit my lip and shifted in my seat. I was not use to so many people being kind to me like this. I didn't know what to do with myself.
"Well I want to. Come on Bella. We will do your hair too." She smiled genuinely at me and reached for my hand. I took it and looked back to a very shocked Edward and Esme, and followed Rosalie and Alice upstairs to Rosalie's room.
"Oh, Bella! We are going to have so much fun today! A girls day out!" Alice bounced about the room, sitting me at a vanity table, and began brushing through my hair.
"Is this alright, Bella?" Rosalie held up a deep blue chiffon form fitting top, a matching blue chiffon skirt, and a pair of blue ballet flats. My eyes widened when I saw the skirt. It would barely reach my knees!
"Um, that is very beautiful Rosalie but um...We getting so dressed up just to go shopping?" I didn't want her to feel I didn't want to wear the clothes. She was being kind enough to offer me to wear some, and the ones she offered didn't seem cheap.
"Of course! We have to look good, to dress good!" Alice had my hair straightened and shiner than I could ever remember it being. She had matching blue clips in my hair, pinning the strands from my eyes. "And that blue will look beautiful with your skin tone Bella!"
"Um...A-Alright then. Thank you Rosalie, and you too Alice. You two have done so much for me already." I carefully took the clothes in Rosalie's outstretched hands and began throwing them on quickly.
The top clung to my curves, in all the right places. Just about every top I owned was either baggy or I would wear a sweatshirt over it. The see-through material made me self conscious, but not as much as the skirt. It stopped a few inches above my knees, leaving more skin than I felt comfortable showing. I had a deep scar running up my right outer thigh up to my hip, from one of the earlier times I fought back with Phil. The tip of it showed at the hem of the skirt, and I unconsciously traced it with my finger. But the action didn't go unnoticed.
"Bella you can barely see it. You look so beautiful, I doubt anyone will even notice!" Alice shoved the flats at me with a smile.
"Bella, its nothing to be ashamed of. Look at it as a battle scar. You are a strong woman, and you survived what no woman should have to go through. Wear it with pride, not shame." Rosalie pulled me to her in a welcoming hug. I wrapped my arms around her and murmured a quiet thank you. Alice could hardly contain herself, as she flung herself at us, creating a 'group hug'. "Now, put those shoes on, and lets go downstairs where we can make our dear brother drool over you." I smiled and couldn't help the small giggle that I emitted with the thought of Edward. That man could make anyone a giggling mess, and a puddle at his feet with just the curve of his lips.
Once Alice and Rosalie were dressed and ready, and putting me to shame I might add, we made our way downstairs. They somehow managed to force some makeup on me, not much, just a light eyeshadow and some lipgloss, but more than I was use to. I felt rather out of place in such a get up. I was not a beautiful girl, so why go through all the trouble to make me look so? Esme's eyes lit up when she saw me enter the living room. She smiled warmly and stood from her place on the couch.
"Oh, Bella! You look lovely dear."
"Thank you Esme." I bit my lip nervously, looking around for Edward, but came up with nothing. "Um...Where is-"
"Bella Bear! Woah, looks like Rosie and Alice got to play dress-up huh? You look great!" Emmett strolled in the room, followed by a smiling Jasper. I blushed and looked to my feet, mumbling another thank you.
"Don't embarrass her Emmett!" Alice danced over to Jasper's waiting arms and planted a small kiss on his cheek.
"Hey, calm down Pixie! I was just giving Shortie here a complement! I thought chicks liked that."
I turned around when I heard quiet footsteps on the staircase. Edward was walking side by side with Carlisle, talking amongst themselves. His eyes automatically snapped to mine when he entered the living room. I blushed deeply when his eyes strayed down my body, lingering on my legs for a moment too long. He cleared his throat and met my gaze once more.
"Bella you look..." He started, taking a step towards me and brushing the back of his fingers across my cheek. I shivered, but not from his chilled fingers, but from the electricity that accompanies his touch. "You look absolutely beautiful..." For a moment, I forgot everyone else in the room. Nothing else mattered but the man in front of me, and his fingers on my skin. A strange feeling shot through me. I wanted more of him on my skin. I wanted all of him. And it scared me to death.
I had never wanted that kind of attention from any man. I have never had a man's touch that didn't leave pain afterwards. But just being around Edward was intoxicating. The way his eyes were only on mine when we were in a room together, the way we automatically were drawn to each other, the way his hands felt on my skin, the way his lips moved in sync with mine. Everything about him set my body on fire. But could I allow these types of feelings? Sure I loved Edward, there was no doubt about that, but did these types of feelings really what I needed in my life? Wouldn't Edward hurt me like Phil had?
No...It would be different with him...You know it would. Edward wants to protect and love you, not hurt and destroy you. His touch would be tender and loving, not painful and angry. Edward would show you what that sort of touch was supposed to be like...But he may never want you in that way. Not after you have been damaged. Yes he loved me, even though I wasn't pure. But could he ever want me like a man wants a woman? Could he ever...desire me?...
"T-Thank you..." I snapped myself out of my revere. Edward leaned in and pressed his lips to mine gently for a moment, and pulled away smiling.
He kissed me...and he did it in front of his family!
I looked up at him and smiled brightly.
Holy freaking crap Swan, get ahold of yourself! He has kissed you before...
Yeah, but not in front of others.
"Have fun today, but don't be afraid to tell them when you have had enough, Okay? Rosalie and Alice can get a little carried away when shopping is involved...And if you need me for anything at all, Alice has my cell number." Edward cupped my cheek in his hand and smiled.
"She will be fine! I don't see anything going wrong Edward. You worry too much! Now stop hogging Bella!" Alice laced her arm with mine and pulled me along side her, to the garage. A beautiful red BMW was awaiting us. Rosalie quickly slid into the drivers seat, and I sat quietly in the back.
"So, um...Where are we going?" I held onto the seat discreetly. Rosalie liked to speed just like Edward. I wonder if it was just a vampire thing...
"Port Angeles...I know you didn't really have the time of your life there last night, but we are here with you. No one will touch you, and we are just going to a few shops. We would go to Seattle but Edward would kill us if we took you somewhere he couldn't get to in less than Twenty minutes without him." Alice piped in. "I swear, you would think having a psychic in the family would make him chill out a bit. But not with you."
I smiled to myself. I liked the protective side of Edward, it always made me feel safe. And that was a feeling that was rare until I moved to Forks. The ride to Port Angeles was filled with Alice's commentary over what she thought would look 'cute' on me. I honestly didn't have any intention of buying any clothes. Mainly because I didn't have much money with me. I had the money left over from from last night, but I much rather spend it on books, not clothes. You could escape in a book. Clothes just accented parts of your body for others to look at. But when you want to be invisible, you don't want anything to 'accent' your looks. Not that I had anything to look at, but when I covered up, like I usually did, I didn't get any unwanted attention.
The car came to a stop in front of a strip of shops. Alice hoped out of the car and eagerly pulled me out behind her. I wish I had one of my sweatshirts with me right about now...
Groups of people walked down the walkway. Some holding hands, some laughing, some looking in our direction, and others not paying attention. The ones looking in our direction are the ones that caused me the most unease. I was with the two most beautiful girls I have ever met, of course people would look!
I felt my heart pound in my chest, and my palms began to sweat when we entered one of the stores. It was filled with people. Women and Men. I had a bad feeling about this. I really wished we brought Jasper now...I could use one of those calming waves he sent off...
"Bella, chill out! You are going to be fine. I see the future, remember?" Alice smiled at me and taped her head with her finger, giggling. "Now come on, we have some shopping to do!"
A few agonizing hours later, I held four bags of clothes, that Alice insisted on buying for me. I had never felt more guilty than I did at that moment. Not only had this family taken me in last night, after one major episode, but they have befriended me. Rosalie has even entrusted me with a dark secret of her human life. And here I was, shopping with my new found friends, and not paying for a single article of clothing in my hands. I would have to pay them back somehow. I had begged and pleaded for Alice to allow me to buy some of the clothing, that I wasn't even sure I had the courage to wear, but she wouldn't relent.
Sometime during our shopping escapades, Alice froze in place. Her eyes went blank, and she looked so far away. Rosalie was at her side in an instant. Alice was in this trance like state for a moment or two, but when she came to, she shook her head and jumped right back into the conversation.
"There is no way we will let you pay for the clothes, Bella. You just better get use to us shopping for you." Rosalie smiled warmly at me.
"And stop trying to figure out a way to pay us back! I can see the future, remember? And nothing you plan on doing is working! Let it go!" Alice giggled.
"I wish you would let me do...something. I don't deserve your family's kindness."
"Bella...You have made Edward happier than we have ever seen him. Even last night. Even though you were going through a hard time, he was still over the moon about you finding solace in him. He has never been so protective over anything or anyone! Not even us! You have done enough for this family, just making Edward smile." I blushed at Alice's words. Did I really do that for Edward? I know he has done more for me than anyone has ever attempted. And his family, not even knowing me all that long, had welcomed me with open arms.
I should just enjoy it while it lasts.
I smiled and nodded, averting my gaze somewhere else. We began walking back towards Rosalie's car, when Mike Newton spotted us. I swallowed hard. He wasn't with his friends, and he had a familiar gleam in his eye. Alice and Rosalie must have sensed this, because they flanked me on both sides as he approached.
"Hey, Bella! What's up?" He smiled at me, his eyes trailing up my body and lingering on my exposed collarbone. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I felt my body begin to shake. Rosalie grabbed my left hand supportingly. "Look, uh, I'm sorry about the way I have treated you lately...Its just my friends have given me a hard time about you and uh-"
"Why the hell should she sit here and listen to your pathetic excuse for an apology, which you don't mean. If you were any sort of friend at all, you would have stood up for her against your little asshole friends. Bella does not need that kind of company." Rosalie gave Mike a glare that sent shivers down my spine. "I know what you are after, and I can promise you, she isn't interested. So keep your 'apology' in your pants before I rip it off. Or before Edward gets ahold of you." She sneered.
"I have to agree with Rose. If Edward found out that you were practically undressing his girlfriend with your eyes...I am pretty sure he would gouge them out for you." Alice grabbed my other hand and smiled triumphantly when Mike's eyes went wide.
"You and C-Cullen, huh? Well...Sorry for the uh...Just s-sorry." Mike turned around abruptly and practically sprinted back to his car.
"Nice touch, Al. I think he almost pissed himself." Rosalie laughed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "You okay, Bella?" her voice held true concern. I did the only thing I could think of. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her gently. She was caught off guard at first, but quickly returned the embrace.
"Hey! Don't forget me!" We both opened an arm out to Alice, which she happily bounced into, hugging us tightly.
"Alright, enough of this mushy shit, lets get home before Mike finds his balls again." I laughed and nodded.
"Thanks guys...For, back there." I said quietly as we made it back on the road.
"No problem, Bella. If any guy messes with you again, or you feel uncomfortable. You come to us...Well Edward probably won't let you out of his sight, but if you ever find yourself without him, you let us know." Alice turned in her seat to face me and smiled.
"Yeah, that goes with the stupid Stanley bitch and the rest of them as well. I'll mess em up for you." Rose winked at me in the rearview mirror. My smile brightened and I nodded again. I was really feeling at home with the Cullens. Maybe I could start to heal after all...
When we pulled up to the Cullens house, Edward was sitting on the porch. As soon as the car was parked, he leapt off the stairs and had me out of the car and into his arms before I could even register we had stopped.
"Geese, pretty boy, your like a lost puppy! Don't worry, we brought her home unscathed. Even took care of that Newton kid for you. No need to thank us." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'll take your stuff inside, Bella."
"Thank you Rose." She winked at me and grabbed the bags, caring them inside.
"Alice, what did she mean by 'taking care of the Newton kid' ?" Edward's face was full of concern, and his attention was only on me.
"We um...Had a little run in with Mike. Don't worry, he didn't touch Bella. But he did give her some...Suggestive looks that made her uncomfortable."
"Rosalie and Alice stood up for me. Thanks to them, I don't think Mike will be bothering me anytime soon." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he just sighed and held me closer. Alice took that as her signal to leave.
"I missed you..." He whispered in my ear, sending shivers through my body as his cold breath washed over me.
"I missed you too."
Edward kissed my temple and ran his fingers through my hair before pulling back reluctantly.
"Esme has lunch ready for you in the kitchen. She just finished so its still warm. I hope you like Italian." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I love Italian...But I just ate breakfast."
"Bella, you guys have been gone for five hours, its past lunchtime."
"Seriously?" My eyes widened. "We have been gone that long?"
Edward chuckled, his smile finally a sincere one. "Yes, Angel. You were gone that long. Now lets get you inside before your food gets cold." I blushed and followed him. I don't know if Edward realized he had just called me Angel, but I liked it. Though it didn't seem fitting. He was my angel.
"Edward?"
"Yes, love?" I blushed again.
"Your eyes are still black...You haven't gone hunting yet."
"I know...I, uh. I've been busy." He seemed troubled, but I didn't want to push it. Edward obviously didn't feel like talking about it.
"Bella, hun! Your lunch is ready. I made Alfredo! I hope you like it." Esme sat me on the stool from this morning and pushed a large plate of the most delicious looking alfredo I have ever seen towards me.
"This looks wonderful, Esme. Thank you so much. You have all done so much for me. I don't know how I will ever thank you enough." Edward was leaning against the wall of the kitchen. He looked to be in his own world. His arms were crossed over his chest, with one foot crossing the other. His eyes were staring at the floor. I wonder what had him so troubled...
"Just enjoy, dear. You are apart of the family now." Esme smiled and gave a worried glance in Edward's direction, which didn't go unnoticed by me.
"Edward, I need to talk to you." Alice stood in the entry way with her hands on her hips. She looked like a kitten on the prowl. I felt sorry for Edward. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of one of those looks.
"You eat your lunch, Bella. I'll be right back love." Edward smiled slightly and followed Alice into the other room.
I absently jabbed some noodles with my fork. What was wrong with Edward?
"Don't worry, sweetie. I'm sure Edward will be fine. He will talk to you in his own time." She smiled politely at me, reading my mind. I smiled back and at my lunch quietly.
I hope Edward could open up to me, like I have to him. I want to help him too. If he will let me in...
Hey, yaw! I am sooooooooooo sorry for delaying this chapter so long! I was having writers block with it. And my whole family got sick, so I was out of commission for awhile! But I am back, and as you can tell (for those of you who watch me) I have uploaded a new story called "Vampire in the Attic" I am really excited about this one. And I hope yaw enjoy it as well!! Please read it and tell me what you think!
I also have posted the playlist for this story on my profile, so yaw can go click the link and listen to what inspired me to write this story! I am also posting some outfits used for this story! ALICE MADE ME DO IT! Bella's outfit for this story is posted on my profile so...GO LOOK! =3
I want to thank you all so freaking much for all the reviews I get on this story! It realy inspires me to keep writing. Reviews are always welcome!! ^__~
Twilight (C) Stephanie Meyer