Nightmares. They were the only thing I slept by for the past few days after joining the legion. Some of them were impossible to escape waking up in a pool of sweat or having one of the other girls in the room shake me awake screaming. But this nightmare was not so much of a dream more of a horrifying reality. I stand there my feet glued to the ground unable to move an inch watching each of my friends die one by one and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
"No!" I shoot up. A couple of girls are already up with there own horror. The rest woken up by countless shouts from others people. I start crying. Sadly I don't share a room with Mikasa. She is in the one next door. Although she's quit accustom with my screams so sometimes she sneaks in over here. I did share a room with Sasha Christa and Ymir as well as two other girls I didn't know and really never talked too. I think they're names were Lilly and Sarah but I can't remember. Someone touches my shoulder and takes me out of my thoughts. I didn't even remember I was crying to be honest. I look over and see Christa.
"Are you okay?"
"Ya. I think so..."I sniffle in reply.
"You know it's okay to cry. There's no shame in that." She stops and looks out the window. "It's almost dawn are you gonna go back to sleep?"
"There's no sense into going back to sleep I'll wait up."
"Ok." And she returns to her bunk and goes back to bed. After about fifteen minuets I decide to curl into a ball and go back to sleep. I am really tired and hopefully the nightmare are done so maybe I can get a little sleep. I slowly drifted off into a peaceful slumber. As I drift off I think of all the good things in life. Love. Hope and one day peace.
I feel someone's hand shaking me. It's Mikasa. I sit up drowsly
"Huh?"
"Come one its time to get up." She hands me a brush. "Hurry up it looks like you got hit by a cart now come on."
"Uhhh. Okay." I reluctantly get up and slowly get ready for the day.
"I heard you scream you know." She says as we walk down the corridors.
"Ya. I figured. I think I woke the whole place up." I giggled.
"Ya.."
"What's wrong. mad don't say you're fine. I can tell your not by the tone of your voice as well as the slightest breath change." She looks at me. "You see when you lie your heart rate quickens and breathing becomes less noticeable or more so. Depends on the person you it becomes more noticeable." We continue on walking. Jean catches up to and grabs my shoulder.
"Hey Emma. I want to talk to you... Alone." Mikasa goes and waits around the corner. "So emma about what happened the other day. I- "
"Will you be my boyfriend?" He looks at me in shock."I mean like not one of those lovey dovey pairs who can't leave each other but more like an I love you and we should like after a few months have safe sex."
"Yes I will." He smiles. "See you later. Babe." He walks off and looks back. "Too soon?"
"Ya. Just a little bit." He snickers. "Oh and don't expect the horse face jokes to stop." And I just walked away causally.
"I think that went well." Mikasa rejoins me. "Sooo... What about Eren?"
"Very good question I guess we will find out word travels fast round here from what I hear from Sarah and Lilly." I see Eren. "But lets not tell him now. Okay?"
"Okay."
I wore a smile all day long and kept working my sleep deprived body was happy at the moment and so was I. The day seemed to drag on and on. Never ending sunlight until it was time to return to bunk rooms. I change into my casual outfit and spawl across my bed. I am tired, but happy. Sasha jumps on my bed.
"Soooo. Anything new? Relationship wise?" She asked me.
"Yes with Jean." Everyone looks at me.
"Horse face?" Ymir looks at me.
"Yes. Now if you'll excuse me I had a long day and no sleep at all last night so I'm going to sleep if your awake in about two hours wake me up ok?" I curl into a ball under the blankets. And drift to sleep thinking about jean and the kiss. And for once I drift into to a brief peaceful slumber. The sun was setting and Christa was shaking my shoulder.
"You said to wake you in a few hours. You missed dinner I saved you this." She hand me some bread. "I also noticed you weren't at breakfast or lunch have you eaten at all today?"
"Ya uhhh... No. And I" I yawn. "Don't plan on it I'm not that hungry at all. I've lost my appetite this week. Most I've even eaten was water and that's not even food."
"You realize if you don't eat you'll starve?" I turn away.
"Ya..." And close my eyes again. She leaves and opens the door. A fall back asleep. And as soon as the happens Mikasa wakes me up. I turn away and hide under the blanket.
"Emma how long has it been since you've eaten?"
"A day or so. I'm not hungry."
"Oh well your eating this wether I force you or not!" And give me the bread. I yawn.
"Fine..." And I eat the bread. When she leaves I have finished eating. And laid back down to go to sleep. And for the first time in a long time nightmare haven't plagued my dreams. And I finally had a good nights sleep.