For those of you who don't know who Tak is, let me explain. On the Irken military training planet, Devastis, Zim really wanted a snack from the snack machine, but he didn't feel like paying for it. So he grabbed a humongous ultra super dangerous machine robot thing and broke it down and knocked out the power to half the planet just to get it. The result was a female Invader-to-be, Tak, was locked inside her room and could not make it to her final test. She begged with the control brain to let her retake it, but the brain said she would have to wait 70 Irk years, and sent her to Planet Dirt as a janitorial drone. She escaped and tracked zim down to earth to take his mission from him and prove to the Tallest that she was worthy of being an invader.
Needless to say, (we all know Zim) her plan would have worked, if not for ZIIIIM! and she ended up floating through space in a useless ejection pod... it was left there and no one heard from her via viacom or jhonen vasquez again. (by the way, did I mention viacom and jhonen own IZ, not me? Well, they do!)
Anyway, needless to say, Tak does not like Zim. Unless you're into ZATR, which I'm not, so there! Bleaaaaah!
On with the story!
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She did not know how long it had been, but she did know that outer space was nothing like Earth. She already felt more alone than ever, without the usual blue sky and white clouds... instead everything was black, lit only by tiny stars that up close were small, burning balls of gas.
Up ahead, she could see Earth's moon and was disappointed to see that it was more gray than blue-white as it appeared back home. Oh well.
Ahead of her, Zim veered to the right to avoid its gravitational pull and she veered to keep up with him. If he didn't slow down, they were going to go too far apart!
Behind her, she heard GIR's lifeless metal body thunk against something and heard her bags slide around some. She had packed a few changed of clothes, a pair of sandals in case something happened to her boots, a LOT of earth food, including non perishable stuff like snacks, canned soup, popcorn and such.
She had also brought toothpaste, her toothbrush, deoderant, underwear, a brush, basic hygeine stuff for a trip of any sort. In her other bag were things to do, comic books of the gruesome sort, hand held video games, extra batteries, a few books, her music and a portable cd player, drawing utensils, her cell phone (although what it would be good for, out of range of any towers, was beyond her but it was better to have and not need) and most importantly, a few basic tools. Just in case.
"I estimate that we should reach Irk in one Earth year, if we speed up a little," said Tak's voice on the computer.
She almost slammed on the brakes. A YEAR?! She hadn't brought that much food! How could she drive this thing for a year straight?! She needed to sleep!!
"Can you call up Zim's ship?" she asked her.
"Of course," said Tak, sounding displeased, as usual, at any mention of the deranged Irken.
Zim's face appeareed on the screen to her left, looking bored.
"What is it?" he demanded.
"Tak's ship says we should reach Irk in a year, at this speed... Zim, I'm HUMAN... Meaning I need food and sleep on a semi-regular basis... how am I gonna fly that way?" she demanded, somewhat panicky.
Zim blinked his enormous red eyes a couple of times, appearing to focus on something in his own ship.
"There. I've made a link from my ship to yours. If you press that flashing button, Tak's ship can run on autopilot and follow mine at a safe distance. So you can... SLEEP..." he said, shivering as if sleeping, to him, were something disgraceful and lazy.
Tak's personality did not appreciate the measure Zim had taken with its controls, but she didn't say anything.
"Push the button when you need to sleep, push it again to regain control of the ship. I'll alert you if anything comes up," and with that, Zim cut the transmission.
She sighed in relief and kept following Zim's Voot cruier. After about fifteen minutes, she suddenly wished GIR were awake, if only to have someone to talk to, however insane it was.
She preoccupied herself for the time being with counting stars. Whenshe got bored of that, she began playing a game of mental connect-the-dots. When that became mind-numbing, she started reading what Irken symbols she could around Tak's ship... Oooh... apparently, there was a sort of library installed in the ship's interface... if it was all in Irken, though, she'd never be able to read it.
Up ahead, she could see what looked like a string of asteroids and loose debris... wait a minute... was that a piece of metal?
She called Zim up on the communicator and he looked strangely dodgy.
"Zim... was that a piece of metal?" she asked suspiciously. Whatever it was, there was a reason he was looking edgy.
"Um... might've been, why do you ask? I had nothing to do with the reason Mars isn't there!" he said very quickly.
Wait a minute... Mars?
She looked behind her, since they'd already passed it, and saw chunks of red-brown dirt.
"I don't want to ask, do I," she said dully.
"It was A SHIP! It's Dib's fault it blew up, not mine!" Zim insisted.
"Whatever," and she severed transmission yet again. Mars, a ship, yeah right...
Zim hailed her yet again, looking hasty.
"Oh yeah, by the way, Mercury was a ship, too," and he cut himself off.
She blinked. Oookaaay. Out of nine planets, scratch of Mars and Mercury. Now there were seven.
She sighedand decided to push the flashing blue button on the computer console. The ship went into autopilot mode and began following Zim at precisely the right speed so as not to fall behind or get too far ahead. She let go of the controls and decided to doze a little. She had a year- why the hell not?
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SOMETHING LIKE 11 MONTHS LATER...
She was going crazy... no company... no people... only a computer and Zim to talk to... Her muscles were cramped. She didn't even know if she could stand any more. She had no idea where they were now. They had passed Pluto last month and had only seen one planet since then, a pretty orange and pink swirly one Zim said was Foodcourtia. He didn't want to stop, even though she had long since run out of food and was starving to death. It was only two or three hundred feet behind them when she called up Zim on the communicator. She was getting sick of this trip. When would they get to Irk?
"Zim, I'm serious... I'm weak. It's been two weeks since I ran out of food, seriously, I need to eat something before I die," she said. She still had fluids, which was why she hadn't died already.
"UGGGH, FINE!! CURSE you and your human needs! We go to foodcourtia! But stay close to me, I don't need you getting lost... I don't wanna explode," he growled. He punched the button on his own console and did a sharp swerve, turning sharply in space, and she followed him, glad to do anything but fly straight. The muscles in her shoudler creaked at the unfamiliar movement and they were heading back towards her first foreign planet.
She gave control of the ship back to Tak's personality and rummaged around in one of her bags for the invisible air hood she'd had Zim's help in making back on Earth, so she could breathe in any environment. It was like the one he kept for himself in his PAK, but it was designed for use by a human, so she wouldn't suffocate.
The ships landed in what looked like a giant, metropolitan zoo, combination of downtown New York multiplied by seventeen and Las Vegas. Floating signs, holo-boards, space ships of every size, shape na doclor imaginable, aliens everywhere... she stared, forgetting her starving belly for a moment.
Zim got out of his ship as spry as ever, but she didn't have any life supporting systems attached to her back. After eleven months of sitting in a space ship, with minimal food and even less water, her muscles were weak and not used to standing. The moment she stood up straight again, her back protested and she had to take deep breaths before she could stand upright. She was dizzy. She had lost too much weight. She should have thought things through before leaving...
"Come on filthy pig smelly, let's get foos and then it's on to Irk!" said Zim impatiently.
She stared at himn for a moment, ignoring the curious looks from passerby and the immense ammount of noise from every other which way. The color and sights and sound were all deafening after 11 long months in the blank, silent vacuum of space.
"Look at her, you moron! She's practically dead! She needs to eat!" snapped Tak's ship. Rain nodded bleakly and looked around. Was there someplace cheap that wouldn't poison her? She didn't have a lot of money... did they exchange it at all?
She looked at Zim again and was surprised to see he looked a bit sympathetic. His eyes were upturned and he bit his lower lip slightly.
"FINE," he said flatly. He marched off and past her, taking her by surprise and grabbing her by the hand on his way by. Not to seem too sappy, it seemed, he let his grip slide so he dragged her by the wrist instead. It was all she could do to simply keep up, the muscles in her legs protesting angrily.
He slowed to a more steady walk when they neared the larger crowds.
"Zim- slow down!" she protested.
Surprisingly, he listened.
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Zim didn't slow down because he felt sorry for the human, although he had to grudgingly admit to himself that he did, sort of. She looked different than she had when they left Earth. Sort of... sicky and skinny. And her hair was all greasy and disgusting!
If she got enough food for her system to take in without puking from shock, and enough for the rest of the ride to Irk, hopefully he'd never hear another word from her.
Hmm... something that wouldn't disagree with her filthy human body chemistry... Schloogorghs was out of the question. Sizz-lorr would recognize him and they'd never get off the planet... Gackies had mostly acid foods... still no good. What did he know of Earth foods? Lots of salt and sugar and... water. He shuddered at the thought. Only Schloogorghs had any modicom of liquid in the food... it would have to be Schloogorghs. But what to do...
In a second, he got an idea. He stopped short and opened his PAK. He pulled out his human disguise on Earth, wig and contact lenses, and or good measure, his fake beard, too. He felt a weak grip on his upper arm and turned to see the girl clinging to him.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
"Weak... sorry. But the crowd... I don't wanna get lost on this place, it's so cramped!" she complained. Even her voice was weak!
He groaned and put on his disguise.
"Stay close to me," he growled. It wasn't something he had eever imagined himself having to say.
He noticed his own picture on a hover sign next to the entrance to the place and shuddered again, remembering his awful enslavement on this planet. It was a wanted sign.
Good thing he had his disguise!
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A bit longer than I'd intended, but anyway... review!!