„Becker, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing!" He grumbled.
"Well, that didn't look like nothing!"
Becker sat down at his table and started to clean his weapon.
"Becker!" He ignored his colleague. "Come on! There is so much tension between Jess and you. Everyone can see that there is something going on! And everyone knows that she has a crush on you and you know it too!" The soldier stopped what he was doing.
He had known it, right?
In the forest he was so close to admit it, but fortunately the team had stopped him from making a mistake.
"She told you anything anyway, didn't she?"
"Even if, I want to hear it from you!" Abby waited.
Becker chewed on the insides of his cheek, considering. Abby's voice was calmer now:
"Becker, come on! I know that if you want to, you can be man enough to admit your feelings. So, what's going on?"
He looked at the table, fists clenched.
"You know, talking helps." Abby suggested and suddenly Becker jumped up, knocking over the chair. He grabbed his hair and paced. "It is not right!"
"What isn't?" Abby didn't understand.
"It's wrong Abby! I can't like her, I shouldn't!"
"But you do?" He was still walking up and down the room but Abby stopped him. "Hey!" She looked right into his eyes: "You do like her, don't you?"
He stared back. There was a lot of frustration in his look and some sort of sadness lingered over his head.
"More than I should." He turned away.
"But, why is it so wrong?" Abby threw her arms up in the air in a helpless gesture. Becker rubbed over his face before he picked up the chair and sat down.
"Because she's too young!" He spread his legs leaned forward and cradled his head in his hands.
"She is only a few years younger than you are, that's not that much, Becker. So what else is there?"
Becker looked at her face: "Abby people die around here! Jess almost died! Let's assume I give it a chance. What if I die?"
"People always die, not only around here! And as I know you, you will always come back, because you are brilliant at your job and as for Jess, she knows the job and the consequences. She has seen all of it, she is able to decide herself what is good for her! By the way, you saved her life, remember? She didn't die!"
Becker stood up again, staring at the wall, arms crossed. He raised his voice. "Abby, what if I fail to protect her? I couldn't live with that!"
Abby turned away from him, sighing, but then she faced him again:
"You know what? You are right!"
He was totally gobsmacked: "What?"
"You are totally right!" She crossed her arms in front of her chest: "She shouldn't do such a dangerous job. She is young, has got her whole life in front of her." Becker frowned as Abby continued: "I think I'll tell her to hand in her notice."
"Abby."
"No, seriously! Of course, the two of you still couldn't be together, because you could die, but at least she would be safe!" Abby's tone was so casual that he actually didn't know if she was being serious.
"But then again she'd had to find another job, a job that is safe. I mean, she could accidentally stab herself with a pair of scissors." Abby drew in a sharp breath. "What if she got an electric shock, falls down the stairs…"
"Abby."
"…or gets run over by a car?"
"Come on that's not what I…"
"…not what you mean? No? Some wanker could meet her in a pub and kill her. A meteor could fall out of the sky! Becker, the whole world is a dangerous place and things just happen!"
"This is silly, Abby!"
"Is it? You know what I was just thinking? How silly it actually is to marry Connor! Seriously, what if one of us dies?"
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"No no no, really, Becker, thank you! You just opened my eyes! Oh my god, this could have been bad! I'll go straight away and tell him that we can't get married!"
"Abby, stop it! That's just stupid!"
"No it's not! It is the same situation! Look at Matt and Emily, how happy they are! Aren't you the least bit envious?" He didn't reply.
"Let me tell you something Captain! Try not to think so much about the future, live your life now! All the moments I had with Connor, the good ones and the bad ones, I wouldn't trade them for anything! If I had the choice between a save life alone or a dangerous life with Connor, I would always choose Connor! And this might also be the point where you should realise that the safest place for Jess is actually right there next to you!"
Becker sighed leaning back against the wall.
He thought about Jess.
The soldier saw her image in front of him. Everything he loved about her, the short skirts and dresses, the colours, her radiant smile, the pouting of her lips, her bravery, her eyes…
Was Abby right?
And what if she was?
There was a knock at the door.
"Hey guys!" Connor greeted. "Er, Abby are you ready? I would love to go home."
"I'll be right there." She smiled at her boyfriend. He understood and smiled back before he retreated.
The blonde woman turned to the Captain again: "Becker, go to her, talk to her. She won't be waiting for you forever." The man looked up at her as the words reached him.
He thought about the look in Jess's eyes when she had stared at the rose she received.
No, she wouldn't Abby was right. He would probably lose her before he even had her.
It was probably time to make a decision.
He was trying now for weeks to get over her…weeks!
Was there even a point?
Or was he just fooling himself?