Authors Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own Skins or the characters mentioned in the story.
Rating: I'll go with M (Just incase) for swearing, drug use, some violence.
Pairing: Naomi and Emily.
Genre: A mix between hurt, discomfort and drama and stupidity on Naomi's part.
Okay, so how are we all? All good I hope… lol. Now some people have gotten back to me and are curious about a couple of things. I'm a bit reluctant to answer but since some of you have been honest with me, well I'm going to be honest with you. And not to mention the fact that some of you have discussed some very private information with me so I think it's only fair that I do the same. Right so here we go… Is it normal to be nervous about this?
Some of you would like to know what side of the addiction I'm actually on. Well the Naomi in this story is based on myself. A high percentage of this story comes from my own personal experiences in situations but obviously the names of the characters and certain other things related to Skins have nothing to do with me…Now that I have admitted that I have this terrible feeling that I have just gained a lot more enemies… Can I just add that I was very young and very stupid and took someone I truly love and adore for granted. Something I regret terribly and although it's too late for me to rectify anything because I don't own a time machine, I do realise that I was wrong… I've been in Emily's shoes also, but it was a very close friend. We weren't in a relationship.
Also incase there is any confusion, the above 'confession' has nothing to do with the outcome of the story. Sorry no hints lol.
I would like to thank M, Blakely, Beck89 and reddawg82 for you're amazing comments for the last chapter and you're continuing interest. You guys are absolutely AWESOME.
The Darkness That Follows
Part X
"Fucking hell Naomi." I yelled as I glared down at her.
She had forgotten her keys again which was a common occurrence and had been banging on the door for probably a good 20 minutes by the way she was carrying on. I had dozed off on the couch waiting for her to come home because not only did she forget her keys but she had forgotten her phone as well. I was worried. I couldn't help but think back to the death 'messages' we had received not even a week ago… She had been out all day and it was now going on to 3am. She had been sitting on the ground with her back slumped on the door so when I opened it she had fallen flat on her back staring up at me with a goofy looking grin on her face. I almost forgot that I was angry with her, it was so child like.
"Where the fuck have you been?" I said as I kneeled down beside her relieved and angered at the same time.
She was freezing to the touch but I don't think it bothered her really. She was off her fucking tits. I haven't seen her THIS bad for such a long time I immediately thought that something was wrong, but she didn't look stressed or anything, so that thought left just as quick as it came.
"Honey I'm… I'm home." She slurred still smiling like an idiot.
"Jesus fucking Christ." I mumbled to myself.
She giggled.
"I forgot, forgot my keys."
I raised my eyebrow at her as if to say 'no shit Naomi' but she didn't notice that I wasn't impressed.
"Why am I on the floor? How did I get down here?" She asked turning serious.
"Because you're a twat, that's why." I replied angrily.
She frowned at me for a moment and then started laughing as if I just told her a funny joke.
(What the fuck is she on?)
I attempted to help her get up but it was fucking difficult. It was like trying to lift dead weight. She kept trying to get up but kept landing on her arse. Her balance obviously non existent at that particular moment… I would love to know how the fuck she got home like this. Fucking hell.
"Katie?" I yelled up the stairs.
No answer. Well of course there wasn't because it was three in the fucking morning. I looked back down at Naomi. She was silent but she was staring at me intensely like she was in some sort of pain.
"Naoms what's wrong?"
"You're beau-ti-ful."
(Oh my God.)
I rolled my eyes at her and stood up.
"Wait, where are you going? You haven't even given me you're number yet." She called out as I made my way up the stairs to Katie's room.
I opened the door and shook Katie to wake her up.
"Fuck Ems, what the actual fuck." She said groggily as she jumped with fright due to being woken so suddenly, almost ending up on the floor.
"I need help with Naomi." I replied flatly.
I didn't mean to shake her so aggressively but as you could imagine I wasn't in the best of moods. She grumbled something under her breath.
"Fucking what?" I said with my hands on my hips.
"Nothing." She replied.
She swung the blankets over herself and threw her legs over the side. She extended her arms to stretch and stood up looking very fucking annoyed.
"What is it this time?" She sighed heavily.
I ignored her question as I stormed out the room and stomped my way down the stairs to where Naomi was. She had decided to lie back down and fall asleep. Katie arrived a few moments later. Both of us staring down at the sorry state in front of us.
"Fucking hell, Ems. She's well out of it."
"I can fucking see that. I'm not fuck-ing blind." I screamed back at her.
"Don't bite MY head off. I didn't do anything."
I breathed in deeply and exhaled.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Come on; let's get her up to bed."
We both kneeled down and shook Naomi. Nothing was happening. I was losing my patience as I kept saying her name and shaking her but not getting a response.
SLAP
"WAKE THE FUCK UP NAOMI."
She groaned as she opened her eyes with her face lighting up. She obviously didn't feel the pain a slap would normally cause.
"Hey you're back." She smirked.
She looked at Katie and frowned. She cast her eyes back at me, looking frightened. She reached up and grabbed my arm almost causing me to fall on top of her.
"Emily… Emily, I can see two of you… Does, does that mean you can see two of me?"
Katie and I both looked up at each other at the same time.
(What The Fuck?)
"Katie, grab her. Help me get her up." I said extremely frustrated.
We both grabbed Naomi on either side and went to pull her up of the floor.
"Ewww, Ems get it off me, don't let IT touch me." Naomi said completely panicked looking down at where Katie was holding her.
"Fuck sake… It's Katie." I replied.
"Katie?" She asked looking at me confused.
Katie grabbed Naomi by the chin and roughly turned her head towards her. She looked pissed.
"Oh hello Katie, where'd you come from?" She said as she smiled at her.
Katie was thinking hard about something. She was chewing on her bottom lip as she analysed Naomi's eyes. She looked back to me looking disappointed and concerned.
"She's had a speedball." She said flatly.
I could hear her voice quiver ever so slightly. She was upset. I was fucking furious. I pursed my lips and dragged Naomi up the stairs. Katie wasn't really paying attention and had let go of Naomi by mistake causing her to drop to her knees.
"Katie, hold her up." I shrieked.
She grabbed hold of her and we led her up the stairs and into the bedroom. We placed her on the bed and Katie decided to exit the room to make coffee. Possibly to avoid the explosion that was ensuing… I took off Naomi's shoes and socks and tossed them in the corner. I moved up to her belt and undid the buckle. As I undid the stud and pulled the zip down on her jeans, I felt Naomi shift so I looked up at her. She was propped up on her elbows smirking at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't even think about it." I said knowing full well what was running through her mind.
"Oh why not?" She replied pouting her lips.
"I said no."
"Fine, you're loss."
I slid her jeans off and pulled her up into a sitting position. That cheeky smirk was back on her face.
"Change your mind?" she asked
I ignored her mainly because I was absolutely fuming. No doubt smoke was blowing out of my ears at that particular moment.
I slid her jacket off which took longer than expected because her fucking arms got stuck. I was shouting for her to keep her arms still and that I would do it but there was no getting through to her… 5 minutes later, finally I was able to untangle Naomi's arms from her jacket and so I started to undo the buttons on her shirt.
"Um Naomi, why is there lipstick on your collar?" I asked calmly clenching my jaw.
I turned her head roughly to the side to see if there were any marks on her neck. Sure enough… there was. My heart sank at the sight of it. How could she do this to me a-fucking-gain? I am not taking her being high as an excuse…
"Here Ems."
I turned to face Katie, fury in my eyes. She was holding a mug towards me and pulled her hand back towards her as she took an unconscious step backwards. She was moving her mouth open and closed. She looked like a fish out of water.
"Wha… what's wrong?" She said as she placed the mugs on the desk and walked over to me and Naomi.
Naomi was nodding off still in a sitting position, obviously coming down from the coke with the smacks full effect taking over. She had no idea what was going on. This is where it gets dangerous… but she's breathing okay and I'm fucking pissed off.
"That's what's fucking wrong." I yelled as I pointed to Naomi's neck and shoved the lipstick stained shirt into Katie's hand.
"Oh." Was all she managed to say.
I had to leave the room so I stormed off and went into the bathroom. I popped the toilet seat lid down and fell onto it. I ran a shaky hand through my hair, trying my best to not let myself cry over what I had just discovered.
(Naomi cheated.)
My mind was repeating it over and over again. Mental images of her fucking somebody else is what finally dissolved me to tears. I was trying so hard to hold it back, biting my bottom lip and almost taking a chunk out of it while I clutched at my aching chest. We hadn't been sleeping together but that's not the fucking point is it? Not at the stage we're at now. We are mending our relationship and what the fuck does she go and do… She's always fucking everything up, for fucks sake.
KNOCK KNOCK
"What?" I snapped
"Can I come in?"
"It's open isn't it?"
I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. Another top ruined.
(Maybe I should just stop wearing make up… or stop crying, but right now, I honestly don't see that happening anytime in the near future.)
The door slowly creaked open with Katie entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
"She's awake."
"I don't care." I replied through broken sobs.
I heard her intake a deep breath and exhale loudly.
"I think you should talk to her."
"What the fuck for Katie?" I replied
"Because it's not what you think." She replied softly trying to keep our conversation civil.
"And how could you possibly know that?" I said with a sarcastic smirk.
"Ems, I've been talking to her for the last fucking hour. She's that out of it she wouldn't even be capable of lying… and to be honest I believe her."
(An hour? Fucking hell… I haven't been in here that long, have I?)
"Believe what?" I snapped back.
"As I said babes, you need to talk to her."
"Fucking fine." I yelled as I stood up almost knocking Katie over by accident.
I walked into the bedroom. Naomi was still sitting on the bed, staring at her forearm. She looked like she was trying to scrub off the bruising that had appeared there. I stood observing her with my arms folded as Katie poked her head in the door and informed me that she'd be downstairs if I needed her. She closed the bedroom door as she left. Naomi hadn't even noticed that I was standing there. When she gave up on trying to make the marks on her arm disappear she looked up and almost jumped out of her skin. When the initial shock passed she flashed a huge smile at me. It did nothing to waver the anger and hurt that I was feeling.
"Hey babe… where did you run off too?" she said.
"Don't 'hey babe' me." I replied.
She frowned a little before she continued.
"What did you… did you get up to today?" She stammered as her brain wasn't functioning at its full capacity.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Her face lit up as if she was absolutely ecstatic that I had taken an interest in her activities of the day. She had completely missed the fact that I was pissed off at her… before she spoke she stood up and went to her jeans and pulled something out of her pocket. She walked back over to the bed and sat down. She opened a small bag and sprinkled some powder onto the back of her hand. Meanwhile I stared at her in complete and utter shock. She NEVER did that shit in front of me. Not like that. I mean yeah, I had seen her ingest drugs before, but she always tried to hide it. She didn't like me seeing it. I snapped out of it as she raised her hand to her nose. I stepped forward slapping her hand away with the white powder sprinkling all over the carpet and quilt cover. She looked up at me with her mouth wide open in disbelief.
"Why the fuck did you do that?"
"You've had enough." I replied squinting in anger.
She went to sprinkle more but I snatched the bag from her hand.
"Fuck sake Emily."
She didn't yell. She said it rather gently and to be honest I wasn't expecting it. I thought she'd get up and tackle me for it, but she never… I placed it into my pocket. She instantly forgot about the bag and started ranting on like nothing had happened.
"Ems guess what yeah?" She said smiling at me. "Guess what I did today?"
(More like 'who you did' today.)
"What?" I replied shrugging my shoulders getting ready to hear her say that she had fucked the arse off of some bimbo. My hand was ready and waiting to slap her face.
"I quit." She replied chuckling. "I actually quit… can you believe that?"
(What is she talking about?)
"What do you mean quit?"
"I'm free… I'm fucking free." She replied outstretching her arms as if she was flying through the air.
"What are you free of Naomi?"
I was starting to get impatient.
"You know… free from my job."
(Job? She doesn't HAVE a job… ohhh hang on.)
"What, you're not dealing anymore?" I asked
She nodded goofily at me.
"And guess what else?"
"You found a new girlfriend?"
(I couldn't help myself.)
She frowned at me.
"No, don't be silly Emsy. Why would I want a new… new girlfriend? I've got you."
(Emsy? Fucking hell how much shit has she taken?)
I placed my hands on my hips.
"Is that right?"
"Yessss." She replied nodding her head.
"So why is there a lipstick stain on you're shirt?"
She scrunched up her face as she was thinking. I didn't wait for an answer.
"Not to mention a love bite on you're fucking neck."
"Love bite?"
"Yes Naomi. A love bite. A fucking hickey."
She started to laugh which infuriated me even more. I was about to start screaming at her but decided against it. Instead I pursed my lips to try and stop myself from lashing out.
"Hahaha, you shoulda seen her face Emily… Oh my God it was fucking hilarious."
I didn't respond. She reached out to take my hand, but I stepped back.
"Don't."
She still didn't get what was happening.
"I was…" She stopped to release another chuckle. "I was dancing with this random and like I was busting for the loo so I just left her there on the dance floor."
"Naomi that doesn't explain how you got…"
She cut me off.
"Patience Ems… I'm getting to the good bit."
(Good bit?)
"You prick." I spat out.
She mistook that comment. She thought I meant that she was a prick for leaving that tart on the dance floor. She couldn't have been more wrong.
"I know huh… anyway, she follows me into the cubicle yeah… silly bitch."
(Yeah silly alright. Probably didn't expect to be fucked and left there all on her own.)
I stayed silent.
"She was like feelin' me up and all that, tryin' to like get me in the mood ya know."
(It doesn't take much. Sometimes I wonder if you should have been born with a dick.)
"And I was like nah, I don't want to, but she wouldn't listen… Oh man I was so out if Ems, I had to like sit down…"
I was still silent. I was glaring at her not wanting to hear the gory details, but needing too. In fact I didn't have to speak. She was doing fine on her own. She was so high; it was working like a truth serum. I don't think I could have shut her up even if I wanted to. She was just so… talkative.
"I think she needed to sit too so she sat on my lap."
(Yeah she 'sat' on your lap.)
"Get this Ems, she starts like kissing me, and I was like fuck off. Yuk, get off me, but shhh…"
She put her finger across her mouth like she was about to tell me the worlds biggest secret.
"I think something was wrong with her… like drunk or something 'cause she wouldn't listen and I was trying to be nice."
(I bet you were trying to be nice.)
I scoffed at her. Again she didn't notice that I was far from impressed.
"She like starts kissing and sucking my neck and it was disgusting."
She shivered to prove her point and starts laughing. She stops for a moment and frowns at me looking serious.
"But… but it's not disgusting when you do it. I like when you do it."
"I'm waiting." I say impatiently.
"I stood up and she fell. She hit her head on the door…"
She became hysterical with laughter. Tears where streaming down her face.
"I could see her knickers." She giggled. "I told her to fuck off, ya know… like 'why the fuck would I want to FUCK you'… Oh not you Ems, I said that to her because I would never say that to you, because I want to like do that to you ALL the fucking time."
(Okay… My cheeks just turned bright red.)
"And?" I asked feeling my anger slowly subside.
"And I said to her that I was sorry, because I didn't want to be rude and said that I didn't fuck slags and that I was going home to fuck my gorgeous girlfriend…"
(I think even though you said sorry, I think the slag part would have offended her.)
Naomi went into a panic.
"But…but I told her 'fuck' but I really meant make love, because I don't fuck you Emily… and, and I wasn't serious because I know that we're not really together but I didn't want to do that with her I only want to do that with you be… because I… I love you…" She ranted rather seriously.
She patted the bed with her hand for me to sit down next to her. She was smiling at me. I was unable to speak. She was telling me the truth; I could clearly see that. When I took a seat next to her, her smile widened. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.
"Sorry if I upset you." She slurred almost sounding like a child. "I didn't mean to."
I took a deep breath before I spoke.
"I know you didn't."
We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. Naomi nudged her shoulder playfully into mine to get my attention. I turned to face her and couldn't help but smile back. Her grin was wide and her eyes were twinkling, actually more like sparkling, probably due to the drugs but she just looked so happy…
"Guess what else?"
(Oh no, what now?)
I felt my heart speed up slightly due to feeling rather nervous.
"Today is my last day?"
"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly.
She smiled again.
"No more drugs… I'm stopping."
I frowned at her because to me it seemed as if she was getting fucking worse if that was at all possible. I mean fuck sake, mixing cocaine and heroin together is not something that anyone should indulged in as far as I'm concerned. I don't care how fantastic the high might be. You need to be familiar with the effects of both drugs for it to be even the slightest bit 'safe'. The combination can be quite deadly. It's mainly what the more experienced user's do… which obviously, Naomi was most definitely part of THAT category. Still extremely dangerous though no matter how experienced one might be… I was deep in thought.
"Naomi don't..."
She cut me off.
"You need…" She trailed off.
Her eyes almost rolled to the back of her head as she went to nod off. I shook her gently by the shoulder.
"Naomi."
She opened her eyes and stared directly into mine and continued what she was about to say.
"Would you stay with me while I'm ya know… sick."
I looked away quickly.
"It's okay… you don't have to, I'll be fine…sor… sorry, I shouldn't have asked." She slurred looking disappointed.
"Naoms, of course I will."
She perked up again.
"Really?"
"Yes really." I nodded.
She kissed me on the cheek again, grinning from ear to ear.
She got up off the bed and stumbled back over to her jeans reaching into her pocket. She pulled out about another 5 or 6 other bags and walked out of the room. I was frozen. Surely she didn't just forget what she had just finished telling me. I finally came unstuck and ran out the room yelling for Katie to come up stairs. I burst into the bathroom frantically, expecting to find Naomi unconscious, but was met with an unfamiliar sight.
"What's happening Ems, fuck sake." Katie burst through the door panicked and breathless.
"It's okay." I replied.
We both watched on as we saw Naomi empting the contents of the bags down the sink. My eyes started to tear up; it was quite an emotional scene. When she had finished she walked over towards us and asked Katie to leave me and her alone for a moment.
"Yeah, sure lezza."
I turned to face my sister.
"Katie don't."
"I was only joking." She replied.
I turned back to Naomi who had a massive smile on her face while she thanked her. Katie turned around closing the door and went back down stairs. Naomi's face had turned awfully serious as she stepped closer towards me. It made me feel uneasy and I took a step back and felt my back hit the door. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine. My heart almost pounded out of my chest when I got a huge rush of adrenaline. I couldn't move. She bit my bottom lip and waited for me to respond and when I did she kissed me rather sensually. She ran her hand down my thigh and back up again placing her hand in side my pocket grabbing the remaining bag. She pulled away leaving me quite breathless and took a step back, still looking deadly serious…
"Emily." She said as she held up the bag. "This one doesn't go down the sink."
"Why not?" I asked. Well actually, almost shrieked.
"It just doesn't… not yet." She replied.
I understood what she meant, but as much as I wanted to protest and rip the bag from her hand… I allowed her to continue. She didn't have just a physical dependence for the drug. It was a mental one as well. I would allow her to have her last taste if it meant that in her mind, it would prepare her for what was to come… I went to leave her to it, but she didn't want me to go. She just asked that I turn around and so I did. I heard the syringe fall to floor and it was my cue to spin around and face her. She extended her arm out to me holding the very last bag. It still had some gear left in it. I walked up towards her and took what she was offering.
"Sink." She mumbled.
I did as she asked. I turned the tap on and emptied the remaining powder down the drain. I turned to face Naomi and helped her to her feet, escorting her back to our bedroom. I tucked her into her side of the bed and I quickly got changed and jumped in beside her. I went to cuddle up to her, but she stopped me. She ordered me to face the opposite direction and I felt her shift and wrap her arms around my waist pulling me closer to her. My back pressed up against her chest. She rested her head right behind mine and squeezed me tight.
"I love you." She whispered as the effect of the drug coursed through her system and sleep took over.
Proud and amazed. Those were the two feelings I felt right at this very moment. Naomi and I had just gotten home from our third 'date'. It was lovely. She had taken me to a place that was special to the both of us. The lake. She insisted that I be blind folded though as she gently guided me to where we would spend the evening. She removed the blind fold and I was absolutely stunned. I gasped loudly and raised my hand to cover my mouth. It was… it was beautiful. I don't know how she managed it. She mistook my reaction for me being upset or uncomfortable and so she panicked quickly apologising and raving on like a lunatic. I had no words so I just threw myself at her wrapping my arms around her neck and bringing her down for a rough kiss. I was ecstatic and thankfully the kiss had shut her up. I don't know why she was so nervous; I mean even when she asked me for a first date, she couldn't even get the words out. Honestly, I had no idea what she was trying to say I had to ask her to repeat herself twice… Her reason for being all worked up about it. She thought that I was going to say no. Crazy, right? Anyway, I have no fucking idea how she managed to pull off tonight's date. She had put purple fairy lights in the trees surrounding our little spot, giving just enough light to be able to see what we were doing. Candles were sitting at the base of the closer trees and a few around the blanket. She had packed a picnic basket full of all the things I love to eat. Kalamata olives, roasted peppers, char grilled eggplant, kabana, prosciutto etc. Even those little toast biscuit thingy's. Oh and the wine. Moscato, a wine that was my favourite and she remembered. She remembered everything, even down to my favourite colour, purple… At first I protested when she pulled the wine from the basket because Naomi wasn't meant to be ingesting anything that causes intoxication even if she had been clean for almost 7 months, but she said it wasn't for her, it was for me. I still wasn't happy about it, I mean it isn't exactly fair for me to be drinking in front of her but I gave up in the end because she said that it was my night and that what she says goes… She became a little agitated towards the end of the date and it started to worry me but I didn't say anything at first. I just observed her trying to figure out what was wrong. When she said 'FUCK' out of nowhere, it made me jump. I panicked and immediately got up on to my knees to shuffle closer to her. I asked her what was the matter and she told me that she had fucked it all up. Cut a long story short, she said that she had meant to give me something but had forgotten it at home and she was a twat and fucked things up without even trying. It took a good 10 minutes to convince her that it didn't matter and that I enjoyed the night regardless… Honestly, this date was going to be a hard act to follow. It was one of the best nights of my life…
"Babes, you want tea or coffee?" She asked as she flicked the switch on the kettle.
I went to answer.
"Hang on, don't say anything… Tea with honey. Am I right?"
"Smart arse." I replied smirking at her.
She stuck her tongue out playfully, which made me chuckle… I took a seat at the kitchen table and watched Naomi as she grabbed two mugs and prepared the hot drinks. I was mesmerised by what was in front of me. Mesmerised by her. She had come such a long way. She no longer looked pale and sick, she was looking healthy, beautiful and fucking gorgeous. Her personality had even changed, for the better. She can still be sarcastic, don't worry about that, but it's not ALL the time. She's been kind, loving and sweet. Even when it comes to expressing herself, I mean she still has trouble but she tells me she loves me at least once a day. There was a time I'd go weeks without hearing them three little words… The withdrawals lasted longer then the first time, a lot longer. It was hard for me to just simply watch her wither in agony so I could only imagine how it was for her, but she pulled through. She wouldn't let me leave the room even for a second which at the time I thought was strange because I remembered the first time in the beginning, she didn't want me even touching her. This time round though, she clung to me for dear life while her body was trying to get the drugs out of her system. If she was in pain she would squeeze me and I'd gasp in pain also. She was holding me that tight, bruising had appeared on my hips and across my stomach after a couple of days being wrapped in her arms, so I was a bit tender but I didn't care. If it gave her even the tinniest amount of relief and comfort there was no way I was going to refuse her… There were tears, many tears from the both of us. Naomi unable to bite her tongue while the pain surged through her body screaming out and hurling all kinds of abuse towards me. I expected it and I didn't take it too personally. I knew she didn't mean a word of it, but it still hurt and caused my heart to ache. I would be reduced to tears but I stayed by her side. She would have a moment of clarity and apologise repeating I'm sorry, I'm sorry over and over again as she cried hysterically trying to get as close to me as possible as we laid on the bed. She would clutch at my clothes when the pain was intense and try and slide herself up to rest her head on my chest… She was begging me not to leave her, not to go. She was fearful of me leaving her in that state because of the things she had just said to me. I wasn't going anywhere… Naomi and I, US, finally we were getting somewhere. All I ever wanted in this life was to be with Naomi and finally after everything we have been through, the highs and the very many lows, things are really looking up. My heart swells every time I see her. I feel weak at the knees when she whispers I love you. I want to jump for joy every time I wake up of a morning and see her fast asleep lying with her arms draped over me…
"What are you smiling about?"
"Huh? What?" I replied as Naomi's voice snapped me out of my little day dream.
She laughed.
"Here, you're teas ready."
"Oh thank you." I said still feeling like I was in a daze.
She took a seat at the table beside me.
"You okay?"
She was looking at me full of concern.
"Yeah I'm fine… I was just thinking…"
"About?"
"The wonderful time I had tonight."
"So it, it was okay, like you weren't disappointed or anything?"
"Would you stop worrying, it was great. No… it was amazing. Thank you." I answered as I leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
Butterflies were flying around uncontrollably in the pit of my stomach as I witnessed the best smile I have ever seen on anyone's face. Her whole face lit up, it literally took my breath away… She looked down at her coffee mug and slowly raised her gaze back up to mine. Her face had turned slightly serious but she looked more nervous than anything.
"That ah, that thing I wanted to give you tonight… it's upstairs… I'd like… like to give it to you now if that's okay." She stammered.
I stood up and reached for her hand.
"Show me the way." I said with a smirk.
I was trying to lighten the mood for Naomi's sake. She looked as if she was ready to blow a gasket. I can't understand why she is so nervous about the whole dating thing and having the need to get every little thing perfect… it's cute though. I guess it shows that she cares… She removed herself from the table and gently pulled me close behind her and we made our way up the stairs and into the bedroom. Naomi motioned for me to sit on the bed…
"Wait here. I'll be right back." She smiled.
I sat on the bed and took a sip of my tea. I could her Naomi rummaging around in Katie's room and by the sound of it she was frantic. Katie's not going to be too impressed when she finds all her shit on the floor. Naomi came back into the room looking terrified as she walked slowly and sat on the bed beside me. To be honest, I was starting to feel just as nervous…
"Um, I… ah I…"
She sighed.
"Here." She said as she past me a small jewellery box.
My heart picked up speed as I looked at what I was holding. I was staring at it and unable to take the next step to open it. I don't know why I was like this to be honest. I think it might have been because of the state Naomi was in, like it kind of rubbed off on me…
"Emily?"
I turned my gaze towards Naomi who was smiling warmly at me. She could see that I was completely stunned and unable to move. She wrapped her hand around mine, the one that was holding the box and raised her other hand and gently opened the lid as I glanced back at the little package. As my eyes fixed on what was inside, my breath caught in the back of my throat and my heart was no longer racing. I think it had actually stopped. I breathed in deeply as a massive wave of emotion swept through my entire body causing me too shake as I remembered back in time. I looked towards Naomi, tears streaming down my face. My mouth open as I stared at her in shock… It was a necklace. No, it was THE necklace. How does she still have this after all these years? I thought, I thought this was long gone. I mean she ripped it from my neck that time when I had refused to give her money. She needed a fix… She could see all the questions running through my mind as I sobbed.
"Emily?"
My mind was too far away to even really hear her. She stood up off the bed and knelt down in front of me taking the box from my hand.
"How did you… Why didn't you…"
I tried to speak but it just wouldn't come out. She unclipped the chain that she obviously had repaired and placed it around my neck. She lifted my hair putting the chain under it so it sat properly. Some hair had fallen over my face so she moved it to the side so she could look into my eyes. She took my hand and entwined her fingers with mine. She looked regretful. Guilt was written all over her face. I couldn't stand her looking at me in that way. She didn't need to feel like that anymore…
"When I, I…" She paused. "When I took this from you, it was possibly one of the lowest things I had ever done, but at the time I didn't care I just needed the money…"
She stopped to take a deep breath casting her gaze downwards. I was still speechless.
"I've had this with me everyday since that night. I… I went without a fix for three whole days after I took it… I could never have sold it Emily…"
She looked back up towards me. Tears in her eyes. She was struggling with her words.
"Everyday I think about what I've done to you… every fuck-ing day I feel the shame and the guilt of every action I've taken. You'll never know how truly sorry I am. Even if it kills me Emily, I'm going to make it up too you…"
She paused again.
"For you to still be here with me… Fuck sake."
She wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
"Do you know how special you are? Because if you don't, I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure you know just how much you mean to me… I promise you."
I couldn't contain myself any longer. I was overwhelmed. I cupped my head in my hands as my heart felt as if it was about to burst within my chest. My breathing had quickened as I cried, tears streaming down my face. A tingling sensation was coursing its way through my entire body… Naomi pushed her self up, still on her knees and gently removed my hands from my face. She placed both her hands on either side of my cheeks bringing her face closer to mine as she wiped away the tears with her thumbs. Our noses were almost touching; her eyes were staring intensely into mine.
"I've only ever loved one person in this world. That person is you. I've never stopped loving you, ever… no matter where I was or what I was doing, it was you who I would always think about. My heart belongs to you Emily."
She softly grabbed my hand and placed it over her heart.
"It always has… and it always will." She whispered.
She stroked the side of my cheek as she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. She pulled back only a fraction. I gasped loudly as I grabbed her by her jacket with both hands. I needed her. I needed her to show me how much she loved me. I pulled her up and urgently crashed my lips onto hers. Both our tears mixing in with each others. She leaned forward as I leaned back pushing myself further up the bed. I frantically removed her jacket without breaking the kiss. Naomi raised herself slightly trying to pull back, mumbling. She was only successful when I broke away from it completely breathless. When I went to continue, she moved her head back…
"Slow."
I stared up at her, confused. My chest heaving up and down as I breathed in deeply.
"Slow" she repeated as she slowly leaned down giving me soft gentle kisses.
She ran her tongue across my bottom lip and I responded immediately without hesitation. God, the way she was kissing me… I couldn't help but let out several moans. She slowly ran her hands down my body leaving a trail of fire. She lifted her arms and helped me relieve myself of my top. Both of us sitting up and staring into each others eyes….
After we had removed each others clothing Naomi placed her thigh in between mine and pushed up causing my hips to jolt, begging for more contact. I rolled us over and straddled her thigh. I couldn't control myself. She looked up at me looking almost scared as I had become so… ferocious. I'm not sure why I was behaving this way. It was like I had absolutely no control over what I was doing. All I knew at that moment was that I needed her… I started to rock my hips, grinding myself down on her leg, my breathing ragged. She placed her hands on my hips, guiding me into a better rhythm… Naomi allowed this to continue for a short while but as my breathing quickened and my moans were becoming louder, she flipped us back over breaking the contact. It was almost painful. Naomi grabbed me by both wrists placing my hands above my head. I was trying to struggle but she was too strong. I needed to feel her, touch her… but I know Naomi, she wanted this to last as long as humanly possible and the way I was going well it was going to be over before it even began. I looked up at her in complete distress. The throbbing in my lower region becoming unbearable. She waited for me to calm down and my breathing to become more regular before she continued. She kept my hands in place with one hand and brought the other one down, running it along the entire length of my body. As she ran her hand over my pelvic bone, I gasped loudly, my hips having a mind of there own as they rose off the bed while my body shivered from her touch. She could see what she was doing to me and that's why she had that cheeky grin spread right across her face. She leaned back down and kissed my sensually…
"Please, Naoms… I need… Ohhhh."
She slowly entered causing a growl to escape from my lips as I threw my head back with my eyes almost rolling at the back of my head due to the sensation. She let go of my wrists and I immediately wrapped my arms around her bringing her down for an open mouthed kiss. She was driving me crazy, picking up the pace and slowing it back down again. Keeping me just below the threshold… My moans were getting louder and louder and I noticed Naomi's breathing had become ragged also. She brought her lips down to my neck gently biting and kissing.
"I love… I love you… ohhh fuck." She groaned into my ear.
She increased the pace which caused me to babble like an idiot. I don't even know what I was trying to say. I was speaking in tongues. It was complete gibberish... Just when I thought I was about to have my release, the waves of pleasure kept increasing building up within my body taking me higher and higher. It frightened me. I gripped onto Naomi when I felt that I was close, digging my nails into her back which caused her to groan loudly into my ear. That was my undoing. My body shock violently as I squeezed her tighter as the orgasm coursed through me and upon hearing Naomi come at the same time, without me even touching her… Christ, I needed more. After we had both caught our breaths, Naomi went to remove her hand, but I stopped her. The feeling between my thighs was causing me grief. She caught on to my need when she saw how distressed I looked. She leaned down and kissed me roughly and lowered herself, running her tongue all the way down my body causing my breathing to hitch. She held onto my hand as she lowered her tongue to the place that was driving me completely insane… She was the only one who could do that. The only one who could make me beg for more…
I woke up and every muscle in my body was aching. Light was shining through the gaps of the curtain as I swore at the sun for being so God damn bright. I placed my pillow over my head because there is nothing worse then bright light as soon as you open your eyes. The bed felt unusually cold which made my heart skip a beat due to panic as I lifted the pillow and glanced to the other side of the bed. I sat up straight away raising the blanket to cover my bare chest. My heart sank when I saw that Naomi's side of the bed was empty.
(How could she make love to me all fucking night and leave me in her bed… again?)
Tears welled up in my eyes as the feeling of being used settled in my chest, causing my heart to ache. Memories of the past invading my thoughts. I waited so long for her… I didn't just hand myself over this time at the drop of a hat even though I wanted to, and she fucking fucks me in more ways than one. How could she do that? Our date, the necklace… last night, us reconnecting… and she…she… The sound of the door opening distracted me.
"Hey babe, you hungry?"
I started to cry, mainly because I felt guilty and ashamed for even thinking that Naomi would abandon me after everything she had said and done the night before.
"What's wrong?" Naomi asked as her smile faded rather quickly.
She was completely panicked. She was looking all over the room trying to find a spot to place the breakfast tray but decided the floor was as good a place as any. She dove onto the bed and wrapped me in a hug, bringing my head down to her chest. I got myself under control and removed myself from her embrace.
"I'm sorry." I said wiping the unnecessary tears away. "I thought… I thought you left."
Naomi's face dropped slightly. She looked hurt, actually horrified.
"Emily, after last night how could even think that?"
"I know, I was being stupid…"
She paused for a moment.
"No, you weren't… I've done it before, so…"
"Naoms, its okay… forget it yeah. I'm okay."
After the wonderful night we just had, I didn't want to dampen the mood although I think it was too late for that. I had successfully made myself upset for jumping to conclusions and made Naomi feel like shit by bringing up the past.
(Well done Ems. Give your self a round of applause.)
Naomi had the same idea; she got up off the bed and picked up the tray. She still looked a little uneasy, but she was trying. She didn't really have to though. It was my own stupid fault.
"Um, I didn't like make anything, but I went to that little bakery you like on Saint Michael's Hill." She said drearily.
"How the hell did you manage that?" I asked surprised.
"I got up early; I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd do something nice."
I looked back up at her in amazement. It was a fair hike from where we lived. Bloody hell, she must have gotten up at the crack of dawn. It made me feel like even more of a tit.
"Come on, sit down. I'm sorry okay."
She sighed and handed me the tray as she sat at the end of the bed.
(You've made her feel awkward.)
We both went to speak at the same time.
"You go." I offered.
She looked down at her hand and started playing with her pinky ring.
"Emily, I know I've been a prick to you in the past… but I'd never leave you again. You do know that don't you?"
"Babe it's okay… really. You don't need to explain anything. I don't know WHAT I was thinking. I'm an absolute idiot."
"You're not an idiot Emily. It's my fault. I've made you think that way."
"Come up here. Sit with me."
She didn't move.
"Naomi?"
"I can't… I can't take back the things I've done…"
She breathed in heavily, her voice cracking.
"I wish I could… but I can't, ya know…"
(Don't cry Emily. Hold it together.)
I moved the tray to the side and crawled towards Naomi. She felt the bed move so she looked up in my direction. Her mouth was open in shock. I had completely forgotten that I was in the raw…
"Like what you see?" I smirked trying to cause some sort of distraction.
All she could do was nod.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me as I crawled backwards back to my original spot. Naomi seemed to be in a bit of a daze but I don't think it was because I was completely naked. She was looking at me, but her mind was a million miles away, deep in thought. I picked up a croissant and placed it in her still open mouth.
"Eat."
She took a bite and started to chew on it slowly. She snapped out of it and grabbed a coffee off the tray.
"So what are we doing today?" I asked, trying to get off the more serious non issues.
As far as I'm concerned all that shit had happened in the past so it should stay there where it belongs.
"Naomi? Babe did you hear me?"
"Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking…"
"Stop worrying about it… please." I pleaded.
"I'm not worrying."
I cocked my eyebrow.
"It's written all over your face. I can tell."
She stayed silent and took a mouthful of coffee. I noticed her hands were shaking slightly and quiet frankly, it worried the fuck out of me.
"I'm not feeling too good today, do you mind if we stay home… maybe watch a movie or something?" She asked.
I frowned but only briefly. She did look a bit on the pale side and slightly agitated. I threw her a warm smile in an effort to show her that I was fine, which I was I had just… as always jumped to conclusions. She doesn't need the added pressure because I'm still holding back even if it is just a little bit… Sometimes I think that this is all a dream, a fantastic dream and any minute I'm going to wake up and find that it is just that… A fucking dream. I know that I'm not dreaming, I'm not that daft, it's just a feeling I have that's all. One that I refuse to feel from this moment on. I need to stop focusing on the past and all the negative shit. She is trying so hard to do the right thing in fact the last 7 months she hasn't even put one foot out of line. That is what I should be focusing on… but it is easier said then done. As much as I'd like to forget the events of the past I'm afraid that that just won't happen, but I can deal with it. I can move on, I know that much. I've just have to cast my sights ahead, towards the future. I keep forgetting that Naomi is a completely different person now. She doesn't run off anymore for weeks, actually she hasn't even run off for a day. She answers her phone when I call. She doesn't leave me home stressing for days on end, pulling my hair out wondering where the fuck she is or who the fuck she's with… She sits and talks with me where before she'd become aggressive and defensive and leave… No, this Naomi is different and I need to treat her as such.
"As long as I'm curled up next to you, I'm more than happy with that."
We finished our breakfast and Naomi and I had an hours worth of loving and tender moments. I finally crawled out of the bed and hopped in for a much needed shower… I was dressed and ready so I made my way down stairs. Katie was sitting at the kitchen table sipping on a coffee looking absolutely exhausted.
"Hey Katie. When did you get home?"
She looked up at me slightly disgusted.
"Last night."
"I didn't hear you come in."
"That's because I didn't."
I looked at her in total confusion.
"Emily, I could hear you half way down the fucking street."
(Oh my God.)
"What?"
My cheeks suddenly feeling extremely hot.
"I waited, but like you two lezza's wouldn't give it a rest. Fuck sake I had to sleep at mums." She replied annoyed.
I raised my hand to my mouth, embarrassed. I couldn't look at her. She started to mimic what she had heard.
"Ohh Naoms, ohmygod, I love you… oh fuck Naomi."
I gasped loudly slapping her on her shoulder.
"Shut UP." I shrieked.
"You fucking owe me big time. Mum was running her mouth as usual. Wanting to know why I wasn't here…"
"You didn't? Did you?"
"What? Tell her?" She asked. "Of course I fucking did."
"Katie you fucking bitch."
"Ems I know she's our mother, but fuck her. You're my twin yeah and I love you. She needs to get off her high horse. Ya know, accept her kids gay or straight."
I know what she was trying to do, but bloody hell.
"What did she say?" I asked curiously.
"Well after I told her what Naomi was doing to her daughter… She went pale. She kinda didn't talk after that. Said she was tired… She was screaming at dad all night, saying that he was too soft on you growing up, it's his fault you're gay and blah blah fucking blah."
I sensed her hesitation to continue.
"And?"
"Oh nothing. That was mainly it."
"I find that hard to believe." I said frowning. The embarrassment that I felt two minutes ago no longer present.
"Nothing really."
She is definitely lying.
"Katie."
She sighed heavily.
"She may have briefly mentioned Naomi, but its okay, like I put her back in her place yeah. She doesn't know what she's talking about."
I felt my blood start to boil in anger.
"What the fuck did she say?"
"Oh just the usual shit ya know, like she's putting things into your head and stuff. I wouldn't worry about it."
"God she is such a bitch." I sighed.
I knew there was more to the story but I decided that I didn't want to hear it. I just had the best night of my life and I am not letting 'Mummy Dearest' fuck that up… I poked my head into the lounge room and turned back to Katie.
"Have you seen Naomi?"
"Oh shit. Sorry. She said she had to go out for a couple hours yeah. Said she'd bring home some movies."
I frowned. Something wasn't sitting right. Katie didn't pick up on my concerned expression.
"I swear… you two muff muncher's better keep it down tonight. I need sleep."
"Yeah, yeah sure." I mumbled, distracted as I walked into the lounge and sat on the couch…
"Ems, wake up… Emily."
I groaned as I rolled over forgetting that I was on the couch. I almost toppled over the edge but lucky for me Naomi anticipated the move and caught me. I rubbed my eyes and immediately looked at the time on the DVD player.
(6.43pm. She's been out since 11am… or has she been home and just didn't wake me? Stop it… don't jump to conclusions…)
My tummy rumbled as the smell of pizza filled the entire room.
"Hey." I said groggily.
She smiled. She turned away and placed the pizza box on the coffee table and placed two slices on a plate as I got myself into a sitting position. She passed it over to me as well as a napkin and a can of coke. I think I was looking at it confused, but it wasn't the food I was confused about.
"I know you just woke up, but judging by the way you're stomach just reacted I'd say you were starving… yes?"
"Starving isn't the word." I replied throwing her a small grin.
I placed the plate on my lap and opened the can of coke, taking a massive gulp. I placed it on the floor beside me and picked up a slice of pizza. It was Margarita with some extra toppings. Olives, hot salami and sun dried tomatoes. Before you say anything, you should try it. It really is lovely… Naomi grabbed herself a can and sat down on the other side of the couch.
"Aren't you eating?" I asked.
"Nah, I'm not really that hungry."
I didn't reply. Instead I just observed her while I took another bite and chewed slowly.
"I picked up some movies… you in the mood for one?"
"What did you get?" I asked.
"Ah good question."
She got up off the couch and went to the plastic bag she put next to the pizza.
"I got Drive Angry, ah Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes."
She grabbed the last two remaining DVD's out of the bag.
"Paul and Insidious, but that one though, I don't think you should watch… you might get a little…scared."
"Shut up." I shrieked playfully. "What's it about?"
"Dunno, ghosts or something." She replied looking at the back cover.
She starts reading out the plot in her best commentator voice. I almost choked on the pizza as I chuckled.
"When an accident puts their young son into a coma, his body becomes a magnet for malevolent entities, while his consciousness lies trapped in a realm known as The Further…"
"That sounds alright. Do you wanna watch that?"
"Yeah whatever doesn't bother me."
She puts the disc into the player and sits back down on the couch as it starts up.
"Oh shit almost forgot… Seen you like your Italian food soooo much, I stopped and got you some Canolli's and those little doughnut ball thingy's you like."
"Spingi's?"
"Yeah them."
(Oh yum. Haha now I'm just being a pig.)
"What's the occasion?" I asked. Surprised that she was treating me especially after this mornings little episode.
"Does there have to be one?"
I didn't answer. Instead I looked at her knowing she'd crack.
"Okay fine, I just thought it would be nice, but like if you don't want it, I'm sure Katie will appreciate it."
"Heeyy."
She giggled.
"I do appreciate it." I said as I reached over and grabbed a spingi out of the box. "See?." I added with my mouth full.
"Yeah very lady like Ems." She chuckled.
I leaned over and give her a kiss.
"Yuk Emily, swallow you're food first, bloody hell."
The look on her face was priceless. I was in a fit of laughter clutching at my stomach as she looked at me slightly grossed out. It was way too funny… Another slice of pizza, two cannoli's and a spingi later we were about 40 minutes into the movie. I know I should just let it go but it was eating away at me. I mean you can't blame me for being concerned…
"Naoms." I said as I shuffled closer to her and rested my head on her lap.
"Mmmm." She replied placing her arm over the top of me.
I paused for a moment.
"Where did you go today?"
"Huh?"
"When I got out of the shower, you weren't here…"
"Ah no where in particular, I just needed some air, ya know."
"Was it because of how I was this morning?"
She looked down at me, worriedly.
"No…"
"Naoms, you can tell me. I'm not going to get upset or anything." I replied.
She sighed.
"It just got me thinking that's all… it's fine though, I don't blame you for thinking that I left you there."
(She's actually talking to me… I really DO need to get use to this.)
I turned on my back to look up at her. I raised my hand to her cheek and softly stroked the side of her face.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
She leaned down and kissed me tenderly. This is going to sound horrible on my part but as she came down for the kiss I analysed her eyes… I had too, I was terrified that she may have run off to get high… unable to deal with it. I don't think she was though, but it was too dark to really tell.
(Stop it Emily.)
"It's fine, you don't need to apologise babe." She replied softly as she looked back up to the T.V.
We continued to watch for another five minutes.
"Take the day off tomorrow."
"What? No… no I can't babe, you know that." I replied.
She playfully folded her arms and pouted.
"But I wanted to take you out."
(I want to I really do, but I can't.)
"Babe I'd love to, but I can't… we can do something after… oh fuck, I'm on the late shift…"
She laughed. It sounded kind of evil. What is she up too?
"It's okay." She replied. "Next time."
She smiled warmly at me, with a hint of cheekiness. God she was beautiful… do you want to know why I've stuck around for as long as I have? Well the obvious one is that I love her and adore her with all my heart… but this is why. The Naomi that's in front of me right this very second. This is the Naomi I have been fighting for. The Naomi I knew that was buried deep inside. I don't regret anything. It hasn't been an easy road, we all know that, but it was worth every tear, every heart ache… everything to get to this point. There were times I wanted to give up, many times but in the end I am so fucking thankful that I didn't… I flipped myself over and raised myself onto my knees as I stared at her intensely.
"I love you." I whispered as I leaned in placing a kiss on her lips.
She responded, placing both her hands on my hips and motioning me to sit on her legs. I rocked my hips teasingly against her and got the response that I was looking for. She groaned into the kiss and deepened it. I was trying to stay in control, but she was making it very fucking difficult. I almost crumbled, ready and waiting for her to take me… I pulled away breathless and slid off her lap and kneeled down in front of her. She looked shattered that I had put so much distance between us, but it was necessary. The fire that developed in the pit of my stomach and various other body parts was becoming too strong to resist. She leaned down to reclaim my lips but I pushed her back against the couch. She tried again…
"Stay." I demanded.
I didn't take my eyes off her, not even for a second as I undid her belt buckle and slid it off from around her waist discarding it onto the floor. I undid the button on her jeans and unzipped the fly, pulling her jeans down just enough so I had the room I needed to do what I had planned on doing. I wrapped my arms around her legs, just below the knees and brought her closer to me. She inhaled sharply… Naomi wasn't really the loudest person when having sex, in fact to begin with, when we first starting sleeping with each other I actually thought I was doing something wrong, like I wasn't satisfying her like the way she satisfied me, but that wasn't the case. She simply said with a huge smirk that not everyone carries on like I do which kind of had me feeling embarrassed. She noticed. She told me that she liked it, so it wasn't all bad and I just want to add in my defense that yes I have slept with other women while me and Naomi were separated and I DID NOT 'carry on' with those ones… so I blame Naomi. It's what she does to me. I just, I can't help it… BUT tonight… I was going to make sure she screamed MY name. I licked and nipped the inside of her thigh as I made my way to my destination. I looked up at her as I hovered above, ready to claim her. She was paying close attention. I flicked once continuing to look up at her. It caused her body to jolt. Her breathing had become slightly heavier as she stared back down towards me. Her eyes burning into mine. I turned my gaze to where my tongue was about to be. I felt her hand place itself on my head as she ran her fingers through my hair. I lowered my head and starting gently kissing and sucking, teasing her. Her breathing hitched and I changed my tactic as she pushed me into her, wanting more… The movie we were watching long forgotten.
When I woke up this morning, Naomi wasn't in bed. I didn't panic this time though as I got up and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for work. I had slept like a rock, especially after the things Naomi was doing to me all through the night… Bloody hell, this really does make me look bad. I do give just as much as I take, but Naomi, fuck sake, she likes receiving, but I know she loves being the giver. It's just who she is, but I always feel a little bit guilty. Just once I want to be the one to love her until SHE passes out instead of it being me. You know, even if I have to tie her to the bed… actually come to think of it, that's not a bad idea…
"Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate?" She asked as I entered the kitchen.
She was smirking at me as if she knew something that I didn't. It got me curious, but I didn't say anything.
"Coffee please." I said placing a kiss on her cheek.
I watched on as she prepared the drinks. I glanced at my watch quickly to check the time.
(Fucking hell… I'm late.)
"Babe, I've gotta go, I'm late. Shit."
"No worries. I'll see ya soon anyway." She replied with a cheeky grin.
She walked over and gave me a peck on the lips. As she pulled back I pulled her closer and gave her a kiss that was much more deserving.
(Work… ya know, you're place of employment. Get going.)
I was getting carried away, but Naomi stepped back grabbing my purse and keys and passed them to me.
"Ah, you better get going yeah."
"Yeah." I replied as I recaptured my breath. "Okay, see ya tonight. I love you."
"Love you too." She replied as she winked at me.
I hesitated for a moment in two minds. She was looking awfully sexy right about now.
"Ems, work. Late."
"I'm going… okay bye."
I turned and made my way to the front door. I walked to the side of the house and stopped dead in my tracks. The tyres on my moped were completely flat.
(FUCK… Of all fucking days.)
I quickly jogged back into the house and picked up the phone. Half way through dialing the number to inform work of my late arrival, Naomi grabbed the handset and hung the phone up.
"Naoms, I have to ring work, my tyres are flat." I said frantically.
"I already called."
I stared at her questioningly.
"I called you in sick when you were still in bed."
"You did what?" I asked shocked.
She leaned in and whispered into my ear.
"Oh and don't worry about the tyres yeah, nothing that a good pump wouldn't fix."
My cheeks instantly flushed when I caught on to her double meaning. They were that hot no doubt you could have fried an egg on either side of my face…
I think that I have actually died and gone to heaven. Every morning when I wake up I have to literally pinch myself incase I'm dreaming to make sure that this is all real. Me and Naomi together and happy. I just… I can't explain it. I have no words. She's been clean for 10 months now. She still has her bad days but she actually seeks me out to talk about it. If I'm working, she's even asked Katie if she has the time to sit and listen… We haven't argued in so long, I can't even remember what our last argument was about to be perfectly honest. Everything is just so different. Different but better. She has even gotten herself a job and I know to some that this wouldn't be a big deal, you know, working in retail at a music shop but Naomi almost passed out when they called her back to say she had gotten the position. I was in a similar state. Just seeing her so happy well it made me happy. She was so excited she insisted that she went shopping to get some new clothes to wear to work. I know right, Naomi and shopping, usually the two words are never in the same sentence… Katie and Naomi have been getting on like a house on fire. It's good to come home to a house that is full of laughter, rather then silent and uneasy. You should have seen Katie's face when Naoms came home after work one day and handed her a small box that contained a bracelet. Naomi spoke to me before she purchased it; she wanted to know if it was weird that she'd be buying jewellery for my sister. I told her not to be silly; it would only be weird if she was trying to get into her pants. I was joking, but Naomi went all funny on me. It was cute because she was trying to convince me that she wouldn't do that. She honestly thought I was being serious. Anyway, the reason she wanted to do this thing for Katie was to say thank you and basically that she appreciated everything she has done for her. Katie under pressure and not knowing what to say is truly a hilarious sight. It was sweet though… I had a little surprise for Naomi myself. A bracelet also. The one Naomi was frantically searching for that night she smashed our window. I felt that it was time to return it to its rightful owner. When she had fucked off on me for those three weeks, bloody hell it feels like it all happened so long ago… I'm not sure what it was but I knew that I had to hide it from her, I knew that there would be a time she wouldn't have the money to get her next hit and she would sell any valuable she could get her hands on… but she can be trusted not to do that now… When I produced the bracelet to Naomi, I didn't quite expect her reaction. She turned away and walked out of the house into the backyard. I was totally stunned. I ran out after her and she was on the other side of the yard in the corner pacing up and down smoking a fag like her life depended on it. When she saw that I was in a complete panic she came over and wrapped me in a hug apologising for how she had just reacted. She said that she couldn't breathe when she saw that I still had it and the whole symbolism of me returning it to her was to overwhelming for her. She just needed some air… I forgave her. How could I not?
"Katie, you coming out with us tonight?" Naomi asked.
"No, I'm not in the mood."
"You know you've been dragging your feet around all week, it'll be good to get out."
Katie didn't reply. I could see something was bothering her but I couldn't quite pin point it.… Naomi got up from beside me and went over to her.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No not really." Katie replied.
Naomi frowned at her, analysing her expression.
"I know that look." She said. "Fuck him Katie, he ain't worth it."
(How did I miss that? It was written all over Katie's face. I'm her twin for God's sake. How the hell did Naomi read her expression so quickly?)
"How the fuck do you know? Did Emily tell you?" Katie asked glaring at me.
"Don't look at me… I don't know anything." I replied back to her in my defense.
Naomi grinned.
"I have many skills." She replied wiggling her eyebrows in my direction.
I gasped loudly in shock.
"Naomi." I shrieked.
"What? It's true innit?" She replied.
"No… YES. But that's not the point."
"Okay relax, geez, joking yeah."
She turned her attention back to Katie.
"Katiekins, his a twat. If he can't see how beautiful and gorgeous you are his got major fucking mental issues. He doesn't deserve you, simple as that babe."
(Such a fucking sweet talker.)
"Anyone would be absolutely crazy too not want to be with you. You're kind, funny and if you don't mind me saying so, absolutely fuckable… So come out, put that talent into good use and stop depressing yourself over that wanker."
She knew exactly what to say to Katie to get her out of her funk. I was completely and totally astounded. So was Katie for that matter, but Naoms managed to turn her frown upside down. She was beaming from ear to ear. She got up from where she was sitting…
"What time?"
"You've got two hours."
Katie's face dropped. Her usual ritual of getting ready took her no less then 4 hours. I know ridiculous, but that's Katie for you.
"I can't… it's not enough time." She replied sulkily.
"Katie, you could walk out of this house in a garbage bag yeah. Your still gonna pull. So go up stairs do what you gotta do, so we can leave."
"Okay fine." She huffed.
Katie left the room almost running up the stairs. Her confidence back in full swing.
"How the fuck did you just do that?" I asked in amazement.
Naomi chuckled.
"I am a master of many talents Emily." She replied seriously rubbing her nails on her chest and blowing on them.
I smiled as I pulled her in closer.
"You don't have to tell me that." I whispered.
"Emily, fancy seeing you here? How are ya babe?" She said as she leaned in kissing me on the cheek and wrapping me in a friendly hug.
Naomi and I had been going out a lot with Katie so we decided to go out tonight just the two of us. I was still a bit hesitant of coming out to these sort of places but I mean she has been clean for almost a year now so I suppose it was time I cut the apron strings so to speak.
"Crystal? I thought you weren't back for another week?"
"Yeah well the other half had to come back home early. Work. He told me to stay, but what was I suppose to do there ALL on my own."
She paused for a moment and leaned in closer.
"Plus those Spanish boys, Oh my God, they are to die for." She added.
I laughed. Crystal was only a couple years older than me. She married young and they had a 2 year old son together. They had gone away to Spain for their anniversary and by the looks of things, they had a blast… Crystal was the type of person that when she talks to you she has to like touch your arm all the time. It can be a little annoying sometimes, but that was just her. She was nice enough though so it didn't really bother me.
"Where is Bill?" I asked as I looked around the club.
"I left him at home. I backed the car into a fence yesterday and his been bitching and moaning all fucking day… I needed a girl's night." She replied sighing as if she was exhausted.
I couldn't help but laugh. When she spoke it came across as comical. If you were having a bad day, she was the one you would go and have a chat to. She just had this energy about her… she was always bubbly and just nice as pie to everyone. Even if she didn't know you. It was amazing to watch. She could have a room full of people rolling around in laughter if she really wanted to. She was such a character… She could be at a scene with someone in critical condition, touch and go type of thing and they'd be in hysterics. I have no doubt.
Crystal continued to talk to me for a good 10 minutes about her holiday, her son and the sleep he has deprived her of when I started to wonder where the hell Naomi was. I glanced to one side of the club and then to the other. I locked eyes with a pair of furious blue ones. She turned her glare towards Crystal, although Crystal was too busy chatting away to even notice. Naomi was kneeling against the bar on her elbow giving her a look that had turned my blood completely cold. I wanted to grab Crystal by both arms and shake her. Scream at her to run for her life… I had only seen that particular look on a few occasions… On the girl who went to hit me at Naomi's party, on the councilor and when she beat the shit out of her friend Josh… Naomi wasn't alone.
(Is that… is that Mick?)
It looked like him, but I wasn't completely sure, not from this distance. My heart started to race immediately. I actually put a hand over my heart because I honestly thought it was going to leap out from under my chest. At least this way I would be able to catch it.
"Crystal, I'll… I'll be right back."
"Yeah sure babe, I'll be around here somewhere. Talk to ya later Ems." She replied kissing me on the cheek before she turned away and disappeared into the crowd.
I was unable to move. I was scared. Why was she looking at me so hatefully?
(Forget that babe; you need to get her away from that wanker.)
I found the courage I needed although I still felt fearful and hurriedly walked my way towards Naomi. I reached out my hand and grabbed hers.
"Come with me."
She roughly shook her hand away still looking at me with a hardened stare. I looked back to her completely shocked.
"Naomi." I shrieked alarmed.
Mick looked me up and down smirking at me knowingly before he turned his back and faced the opposite direction. He didn't move though. He stayed where he was. He motioned for someone to come over, but I really didn't give a flying fuck about that right this very minute.
"Babe please. Let's get out of here. Come home with me." I pleaded.
She looked over my shoulder and glared at Crystal for a moment before she brought her eyes back to mine.
"I think your asking the wrong person hun." She replied with a sarcastic smirk.
"Don't you dare even think that. She's a friend from work."
"A friend huh?"
She turned to the side and turned her gaze away from me.
I sighed deeply. I was starting to panic.
"Naomi, please don't do this. Not here. Just… lets just go." I said as I placed a hand tenderly on her shoulder.
She spun her head around looking right through me.
"DON'T… touch me."
She said it rather calmly but she was dead serious. I retracted my hand immediately as if I had just been burnt… It fucking hurt. She saw the state I was in but she didn't soften. She looked angered, but she also looked distressed. Her face was pale, she was shaking only slightly. I knew that look and it meant trouble. I pursed my lips trying not to completely crumble from how cold Naomi was behaving towards me. A couple of tears had escaped but I wiped them away quickly. What the hell was going through her head? More importantly what was Mick whispering into her ear beforehand as he was glancing over towards me?
"Naoms, look at me please."
She didn't move. If she stared any harder at the wall she was glaring at, I think she would have been capable of burning a hole right through it… I grabbed her by her jacket and forced her to face me although her head didn't follow. I leaned up and placed my hand on her cheek.
"Fucking look at me." I said as I forcefully moved her head towards me. "I love you; I want YOU to come home with me."
She chuckled.
"That word gets thrown around a lot these days Ems, doesn't quite have the same effect as it once did, ya know."
(How could she say that?)
I was becoming frantic. She was thinking that me and Crystal were more than just friends and no doubt Mick was re-enforcing the idea which is why Naomi will not listen to reason. I have never given her a reason not to trust me, why the fuck was she acting like this? Surely she should be taking my word over he's for fuck sake.
"Stop this; you know that I would never do that to you. You fucking know Naomi."
She looked back over at Crystal with a lustful eye with my heart strings almost snapping. It was a look she would give me. A look she should ONLY be giving me.
"She's cute Ems… nice pair of tits too. Not to skinny either. Plenty to grab on to, ya know. Might have a go when you're done with her."
SLAP
It was a hard slap but she didn't even feel it. She continued looking. Well more accurately, eye fucking her as she bit down on her bottom lip.
"Mmmm, yeah, can definitively see THOSE legs wrapped around my waist."
I was absolutely speechless. How could she be so hurtful?
"Actually on second thought, that one over there, in the black skirt, look at the arse on her. SHE, is sexy. She looks Spanish, maybe even Italian… that's something you don't know Emily. I got a thing for those European girls… Reckon I should go talk to her?"
I was crying now. I didn't care who was looking at me. FUCK EVERY BODY. I wasn't even embarrassed by it… Thank God the room was dimly lit and the music was loud. Naomi took a step in the direction of the woman in the black skirt. I grabbed her arm aggressively, squeezing it as hard as I could.
"Don't you dare." I shot out through my broken sobs.
"What?"
"You fucking know what. Why are you being such a fucking prick?"
She smiled at me.
"Oh don't worry, you're invited, she looks like she'd go for it."
I gasped loudly. She went to continue walking but I pulled her back roughly towards me. She looked at me questioningly.
"What? Don't you fancy her?"
I knew she was playing games with me but it didn't change the fact that what she was saying was fucking heart shattering. I also knew that if she did go over there she'd see her game through.
"Emily, don't be selfish yeah. If it's okay for you to have your little bit on the side, then why can't I? Seems hardly fair now, doesn't it?"
(Okay Ems, pull yourself together. Forget that shit, you need to get Naomi out of here.)
I inhaled an extremely deep fucking breath.
"Naomi, please… Stop this… I…"
I trailed off as I saw an arm wrap around Naomi's shoulder. Mick walked away as Tess leaned in and whispered something into Naomi's ear. I felt jealousy, anger, fucking rage as I witnessed that tart lick Naomi's earlobe. Tess was looking directly at me as she did it. Naomi doing nothing at all about it.
(What the fuck is going on here?)
My heart felt like it had stopped beating as I felt a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. I was so worked up and on the verge of having a panic attack it was quite difficult to keep that sick feeling under control… I got my breathing regular and tried again to get through to her but when Naomi is as furious as she was right this very minute; it wasn't going to be easy. It fucking terrified me the way she looked. I could see what was running through her mind… she was about to lose all resolve and the fact that she was surrounded by two manipulative fucking cunts (I know, I'm sorry for saying that word, I hardly use it, but that's what they are. FUCKING CUNTS…) who were using Naomi's vulnerability knowing full well that the slightest thing could tip her over the edge and make her run to that fucking needle… I know what they were saying to her without even hearing the fucking words. I can picture it. Tess in one ear and Mick in the other. 'You sure she's the one Naomsy?' 'Someone's getting lucky tonight babe but it ain't gonna be you.' Naturally this would have angered Naomi and once she was at that level you could say anything to her and she'd maybe not believe it exactly, but her rage would cloud her judgment. She was still struggling with her aggression, but she had me to calm her down and put things back into perspective. She would listen, but they had chipped away at her causing her to direct her anger towards me…
(What the fuck am I going to do?)
"Naomi please let's go home."
"Nah that's alright Ems, I'll go. You stay. Enjoy your night." She replied bitterly as she flicked off Tess' arm from around her shoulder and walked towards the exit.
Tess stopped Naomi as she headed for the door. I meant to follow her but I was completely stuck. In shock over what had just transpired. She dragged Naomi off threw the V.I.P section that was separated by a curtain. Naomi threw a quick glance at me before she disappeared through to the other side. She looked devastated. She was hurt. Whatever they had said to her, she believed them. A lump caught in the back of my throat and I finally became unstuck. I marched towards the curtain and was stopped by Mick.
"She's a good girl that Naomi. Terrible seeing her being used by someone like you… I told her not to be stupid and get sucked in. Girls like you only want one thing from a girl like her. A good shag… She wouldn't listen, but I got my point across. Oh with a little help from you of course."
"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING." I screamed in his face.
"But I do… Why would you want a smack head like Naomi if not just for the sex? Doesn't make sense to me. I mean, you've got yourself a good job; you're pretty so you wouldn't have a hard time finding someone on your own level. You're a respectable citizen. Why would someone such as yourself want to be associated with a drug addicted ex-con? Do you see what I'm saying? You don't fool me girly. Not at all."
He didn't believe a word of what he just said. He was just going through the motions.
"GO FUCK YOURSELF." I replied as I went to go through the curtain.
"Oh babe." He said as he grabbed my arm. "Dunno if you wanna go through there, might not like what you see."
See what I mean? If I was just using Naomi for whatever reason, I wouldn't care what I was about to see on the other side of that curtain in fact I wouldn't even be going after her. He was full of shit. I shook his arm away and continued my way through. I scanned the empty room in search of the one that I loved. She was in the corner sitting on the couch, and Mick was right, I didn't like what I was seeing. Tess had straddled her legs. They weren't doing anything of a sexual nature, but she had just released Naomi's arm. I ran towards them completely panicked. I dragged Tess off of Naomi, frantically. I was crying as I stared into her half closed eyes, her pupils were so small. She looked so pale like she had seen a ghost, she looked sick… it broke my heart. A lone tear had escaped from her eye as she looked back at me. She was broken… She looked like an empty shell. I stared into her eyes searching for something. There was nothing. She looked almost completely blank. She started to nod off on me as I cried… Tess had gotten herself up off the floor and decided to tackle me off of Naomi. She didn't appreciate the way I had dragged HER off but under the circumstances I couldn't give two fat fucks. She had me pinned down and I couldn't move. She had the upper hand. She had tackled me from behind not even giving me a chance to defend myself. She was sitting on my stomach with her hand raised. I closed my eyes waiting for her fist to connect with my face… I heard her shriek, so I snapped my eyes open. Naomi had picked her up by her top and flung her across the room like she was nothing. Tess was furious and started screaming at Naomi.
"What the fuck Naoms." She yelled in disbelief.
Naomi stayed silent but didn't take her gaze from Tess. I couldn't get myself up of the floor. I was stunned and fucking scared. I wasn't use to this, this level of violence. Tess walked aggressively towards Naomi, but Naomi didn't even flinch, didn't even blink. She stayed put.
"Your gonna choose that slut over me?" She screamed into Naomi's face.
(What?)
Naomi was still silent. The only thing she did do was roll her eyes as she clenched her jaw in anger.
"Tell her Naomi, fucking tell her." Tess shrieked.
Naomi's voice remained unheard.
"Tell me what?" I asked looking at Naomi. My voice husky and cracking as I spoke.
Tess placed her hands on her hips and looked in my direction. She looked back up to Naomi.
"She has no idea does she?"
(Why isn't Naomi speaking?)
Tess turned to face me looking quite fucking smug. I was finally able to move and stood up tugging on Naomi's sleeve.
"Naomi what the fuck is going on here?" I asked fearfully.
Still no answer. Tess volunteered.
"What do you think sweetie?" She replied sarcastically.
I felt my heart sink; all the old emotions came flooding back.
(She's been screwing Tess behind my back.)
"Naomi FUCK-ING tell me. What is going on? Have you been fucking her?" I shrieked.
Silence.
"Fuck you." I whispered as tears streamed down the length of my cheeks.
Here she is having a go at me because she thought Crystal and I were having it off and she's been shagging Tess this whole fucking time. I turned away and went to walk off but Naomi had grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards her, placing me behind her as if she was protecting me but still refused to give me any eye contact. She was completely focused on Tess. I tried to pry her fingers from mine but she was holding on with all her strength. It was impossible. As much as I no longer wished to be in Naomi's and Tessa's presence I had no fucking choice. Tess stepped to the side only a fraction so she could see me as she spoke. Her eyes were completely black. She looked as if she had ingested some kind of stimulant that had most definitely peaked.
"Yes sweetie, that's exactly what she has been doing."
I couldn't handle this. I didn't want to hear it.
"Naomi, let go of me… FUCKING LET GO." I screamed.
As I screamed Naomi flinched and I took the opportunity to get out of her iron grip. I only took two steps when I saw Tess come at me from the corner of my eye. Something reflected in her hand as she extended it into my direction. I froze. Naomi was quick as she stepped in front of me pushing onto Tessa's shoulders to create distance.
"FUCK." Naomi gasped as she fell to her knees clutching at the side of her stomach.
I was too panicked to even do anything. I had no idea about what had just happened. She got back up and went for Tess pinning her against the wall and holding her by her left wrist. As she dug her thumb into the tender part of the wrist, whatever Tess was holding had dropped to the floor. It was a knife. The end of it was covered with blood. Thank fuck Naomi had pushed her on her shoulders. Judging by the blood on the blade it was more of a jab then a stab… Naomi grabbed her around the throat in an attempt to stop her from struggling and keep her in place. Tess gave up the fight and suddenly looked terrified as she looked down at Naomi's blood stained top. Her expression changed when she saw me walk towards Naomi to see what damage she had caused.
"You know what she was doing last Friday night? Hmmm? She was DOING me."
(No she was not. Naomi was with me…)
Naomi bared her teeth almost snarling at her like a wild beast but had a look of satisfaction spread across her face. Tess had been lying all along. That's why Naomi didn't speak. She didn't need to. She knew that Tess would fuck up… Naomi kicked the knife away to the other side of the room and slammed Tess onto the ground. She backed away from her towards the curtain with her arms slightly outstretched to keep me behind her while I clutched at her jacket.
"Tess, I was doing Emily on Friday night…" Naomi said coldly.
She looked her up and down and scoffed.
"I wouldn't touch you with someone else's."
"You fucking prick." She screamed back as she stayed on the floor.
We went into the main room of the club; nobody had any idea of what had just taken place behind the curtain. Mick was nowhere to be seen thank fuck as I looked around fearfully. Naomi was almost running out of the club as she dragged me along. We exited onto the street and made our way towards home. I was dazed. The only thing that snapped me out of it was the fact that my hand felt wet and slightly sticky.
(Fuck.)
I had been preoccupied and forgot that Naomi was bleeding.
"Stop."
She didn't.
"Naomi, fucking stop. You're hurt." I said as I roughly pulled her backwards.
"It's just a scratch." She snapped back.
I went to lift her top to see the extent of the damage but she stepped back.
"Leave it."
I could see in her eyes that she was still caught up on me and Crystal. Surely after what just happened she would realise that they were lying to her. She continued to walk on, not bothered if I followed her or not.
"Naomi don't be stupid. I shrieked in panic.
"I can't really feel it. It'll be fine." She replied as she stopped. Waiting for me to catch up.
I lost my patience and anger took over.
"You can't fucking feel it because your smacked up, you FUCK-ING idiot."
She stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to face me. Staring coldly into my eyes. She took a step closer towards me.
"Who's faults that Emily?" She replied while she clenched her teeth.
I took a step backwards, frightened of what she might do. She followed me. I crumbled. I couldn't stand her looking at me so hatefully, so hurt, so shattered. I was reduced to tears. Her expression stayed the same.
"I… I haven't done, done anything wrong." I stammered through my cries. "They, they lied to you, can't you see that?"
I was distraught.
"I know what I fucking saw." She spat back.
She paused for a moment. She grabbed my hand and dragged me down the street again. Five minutes later she stopped dead in her tracks.
"Fuck it." She said to herself.
She lifted up her top and allowed me to look at the wound. She was going to need a few stitches, but it wasn't life threatening although it did look that way going off the amount of blood that was seeping out, but she was lucky. It was just a flesh wound. She pulled her top back down and frowned at me for what seemed like hours.
"Are you happy now?" She asked as she raised her eyebrow.
"Wha…what?" I sobbed.
"You know, NOW that we're even? Are you fucking happy?"
She walked away leaving me there. I cupped my head in my hands as the tears were completely uncontrollable. I wanted to die at that moment. What had gone so wrong? How did we get to this? Why doesn't she believe me?... I felt someone's hand wrap around my wrist, pulling my hand away from my face and drag me along. I wiped my tears with my free hand so I could see. It was Naomi. She came back. She was walking hurriedly and roughly pulling me along behind her as she clutched at her stomach with her free hand. Blood oozing through her fingers. Not one word spoken as we made our way home…
TBC…
Thanks for reading :) and please review.
Just want to add that I'm not too sure if I'm going to be able to post another chapter before Christmas although I will try my best but things are a bit hectic at the moment, so just incase I want to wish you all a VERY Merry Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Year. Take care guys.