Chapter Nine
Not Like This
The Doctor woke to silence. The ward was bright to the point of glowing, as the thin blinds didn't do much to stop the just-risen sun's rays from streaming though, and everything in the vicinity smelled of Rose. It was peaceful and exactly what the Doctor always wanted. He wanted to wake up to her scent... He opened his eyes and sadly smiled down at her face.
She was still asleep, her hand curled around the corner of the pillow that they had started off sharing, but when she had fallen asleep, the Doctor seized another from the next bed over to give her as much space as possible, even if it were only a little more room on the bed that was already cramped with the two of them, huddled together as they were. She wanted him close and he understood; she had just lost her hearing; she was scared. He wasn't going to just leave her when she needed him the most.
Except... he had already done that, hadn't he? He had left her in a parallel world that wasn't hers. It felt like so long ago now... but the guilt and the sadness hadn't really abated. He knew he didn't really deserve her.
He carefully sat up with that thought, careful not to disturb the sleeping girl and sighed, running his hand through his hair.
And he figured out what was wrong.
He had awoken to silence.
Instantly he was out of bed and was stumbling over to the inactive machines that still surrounded Ella. There was nothing – no beeping, no whirring, no printing out of brain function – there was nothing left but a slight scent of... what was that? The Doctor stood and touched the plastic side to one of the monitors, sniffing slightly.
"No." He whispered. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue against the white surface. He winced and drew back, looking down at Ella. "...You have to be joking." He whispered to himself. Slowly he leant forward a little and pressed two fingers to the side of her throat.
"Doctor?"
He whirled around to the owner of the voice. John was sitting up in his bed, ruffling his hair as he winced up at the rays of sunlight that were streaming through the gap in the blinds. His brother was also stirring, blinking and rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.
"What are you doing?" He finally noticed where the Doctor was standing. "H... h-how's Ella?"
The Doctor looked down at the woman in question. It was only a matter of time.
He expected it: that sudden, terrified gasp and when it came the older brother leapt from his bed and was at the side of Ella's bed before the Doctor could even blink.
"What..." He turned to the unit beside him and desperately set upon it, turning dials, pressing buttons and even going as far as to hit the screen with the back of his hand when it didn't respond. He turned back to Ella and pressed his fingers against her throat like the Doctor had only a moment before.
"No..." His word came out like a breathless scream. He ignored the Doctor placing a hand on his shoulder and instead sank to his knees, reaching forward to press his palm against the cold back of Ella's hand. There was no answering squeeze, no murmur of understanding from her lips, no flicker of life in her closed eyelids.
"This is a dream, this is a dream, this is a dream." He moaned as Lewis swung himself out of his bed, frowning. "This is a dream, this is a dream. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, WAKE UP. WAKE UP. WAKE UP. WAKE. UP. WAKE. UP!" The Doctor didn't know if he was screaming at Ella or himself.
"I'm sorry..." The Doctor whispered, staring at the floor. Lewis had joined the Doctor and simply stared at the body of the woman who had been like a sister through most of his life.
"Ella..." He whispered, his heart in his eyes. He bit down on his lip as his brother continued to weep and scream. He swallowed hard and turned to the Doctor as John's screams dwindled into moans and sobs. "What... what happened to her?"
"I'll tell you what happened." John was shaking and any word he uttered felt hoarse to anyone who heard him. He turned his head suddenly and pointed an accusing finger at the Doctor, the other still clamped around Ella's. "He did something!"
"What?!" The Doctor gasped.
John stumbled to his feet. "You did something, didn't you!? I saw you! You were by her... you turned the unit off... you took her away!"
Lewis placed a placating hand upon his brother's chest, even as a tear rolled down his cheek. "No, John... You... you don't know what you're saying."
John pushed Lewis' hand away. "Shut up!" He seethed. "Don't you patronise me! Look at him! What do we know about him other than the fact that he's a friend of Rose, eh? How do we know that he wasn't the one who poisoned Ella and Rose in the first place?! We know nothing about him!"
"I didn't do anything." the Doctor raised both hands and took a careful step back from John's fire lest it burn him.
"YOU WERE STANDING THERE! WHY WERE YOU STANDING THERE?!"
The Doctor spoke in a calm, clear voice. "I woke up and realised her heart monitor had stopped. I was just trying to help her, John."
He wasn't buying it. "You're lying."
"John," Lewis warned gently, holding his brother's shoulder, ducking just in time when John's fist shot past him, straight to place his face had been only a second ago. "I'm not your enemy, John!" When John ignored him and tried to move forward toward the Doctor, Lewis was once again in his way.
"Just let me explain." The Doctor still had both hands raised, watching the grief-driven fight to get to him.
John wasn't paying attention. He wasn't listening to anything the Doctor told him. "No! You did this!"
"I didn't!"
"John!"
"ADMIT IT!"
"I didn't do anything!"
"TELL ME! YOU DID IT DIDN'T YOU!?"
"LET ME EXPLAIN!"
Lewis didn't let go of his brother, who was still struggling to get to the Doctor. "NO! You...You did something! You did something to my Ella... you hurt... you made sure she didn't..." And the man broke down into violent sobs, clinging onto his brother as he choked out his pain. His knuckles were white as he pushed his brother away at the same time as pulling him closer, torn between his pain and his anger. "She's gone. She's gone... gone gone..."
Lewis stared at the Doctor. "What... the hell... happened?!"
"The life support unit shorted out." The Doctor still didn't lower his hands. "The whole thing simply reeks of electrical energy... some sort of discharge overloaded the system... and it came from Ella." He pointed at the woman, who once again looked like she could only be sleeping. "She caused the machine to short when she-"
"NO!" John screamed. "Don't you say it! Don't you dare!"
The man flung himself away from his brother and stumbled toward the Doctor. His feet became surer and the fire flooded through him in a physical wave and he instantly charged forward, his arms outstretched and he seized the collar of the Doctor's blazer, pulling him so close, he could smell his acrid breath – proof that the man had been staying here for as long as Ella had been, not caring about something as small as brushing his teeth. "It's your fault she's gone! You said you would try to help her." He sobbed. He increased his grip and shook the man, tears streaming down his face. "You just... let her die."
"John!" Lewis seized his brother's shirt and tried to pull him off the Doctor, but the older man growled and threw his brother off him, pushing the Doctor back against the nearest wall. His fist swung around and caught the Doctor on the chin, aim off but enough power to make him crack his head against the cold wall behind him. Lights flashed in front of his vision as Lewis, once again, clung to his brother and pulled him away with all his might.
"YOU BASTARD!" John screamed as his pressure on the Doctor was released. "YOU LET HER DIE!"
The Doctor didn't take a step. He stood at the wall with his wide eyes staring at the man who had just attacked him. Lewis had managed to floor his brother and was sitting with the trembling man in his arms. His eyes were on the Doctor who was now examining the blood that decorated his fingertips, brushed from the back of his head.
"Do you want me to take a look at that?" He offered. The Doctor shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Look after him." He jerked his chin toward John as he moved back to the unit. His head stung and he winced, resisting the urge to prod and poke it and instead began examining the monitors again. It was the strangest thing... the whole thing shorted out when she died... she released energy that frazzled anything electrical in a range of...? hmm... He dashed back toward the inactive unit near the bed that John had been resting in and gave it a cautionary sniff. No. He looked back at the bed and frowned... a range of three feet call it? How could a human being do that? What... what was going on?!
"...D...Doctor?" Instantly, all worry about pain or electrical discharge fled as the Doctor turned to face the woman who was now sitting up in bed. He almost smiled at her bed-head; she looked adorable.
She looked around. "Can someone turn the lights on?"
With that one sentence, the Doctor's stomach dropped leaving nothing but an icy absence in its wake. He darted forward and reached out to brush his fingertips against her arm, letting her know that he was here, that she wasn't alone. She jumped slightly and moved her head down to where she felt his fingers.
"Doctor?" Her head lifted and she blinked. Once. Twice. "Doctor? Doctor?! Doctor?! No! No, no, no, no!" Her hands flung up to her face and she desperately rubbed her eyes. "No." Her arms flung out and touched his arm, she squeezed his skin, frowning and she moaned, desperately. Suddenly, Rose pushed herself backwards off the bed and she fell, her back slamming hard against the hard floor. She gasped and pulled herself back up, feeling around as she moved backwards moaning. Everything that touched her skin made her jump and scream, not knowing it was there, not knowing what it was, not knowing anything because she just couldn't see... The Doctor couldn't do anything as he watched the girl scream, terror in her sightless eyes. He couldn't move.
"DOCTOR!" Lewis called. The Doctor snapped out of his daze and he moved forward to where she sat, rubbing her eyes and screaming. She felt his hands on her arms and screamed. He closed his eyes and moved his arms so they encircled her and despite the screaming that did not abate, he held her, hard, letting his warmth spread from him and into her. She was shaking, and it shook him to the core. She was crying and he wanted to cry too. She was terrified but how he felt was something beyond fear.
Not like this. He couldn't do this. Not like this. He wasn't going to lose her again. Not like this.
Not like this. Not. Like. This.
"Not like this." He whispered as the girl in his arms slowly stopped screaming. Her arms shifted and gripped onto his blazer as her broken voice slowly drifted down into harsh, terrified sobs.
The Doctor and Lewis sat there on the ground for what felt like hours, each holding a person that had gone through too much and was about to go through so much more pain before it got better.
It was ridiculous to believe that a few simple days ago... everything had been... good.
O
Lewis and John had gone and the Doctor was sitting alone. No, he scolded himself, not alone. Rose lay in the bed in front of him, very, very still. She was probably, hopefully, sleeping... her only sense left being the one to feel. She couldn't see him sitting beside her like a grieving husband, she couldn't hear his agonised breathing... all she could do was lie there and feel his hand on hers. But he wasn't touching her. He wanted her to rest...
Soon, she would lose that ability too. She wouldn't know he was there... she would be terrified.
Rose. Why was she how she is? He wondered as he looked down at her. Her mother raised her right, she had no other choice, with Pete gone, it was only her and her tiny daughter... he had seen, on the day Pete died, how tiny Rose had been... and Jackie had done a good job.
Maybe he should tell her that?
And there was everything else: She had made him a better man once... the rage bubbled and burned inside of him but once, Rose had taken that away... not completely, but she had made him a better man. He wanted to be a better man so she would really, truly love him the way she loved him. His fists clenched.
It wasn't fair.
He had Rose for less than two weeks and she was already dying of something he just couldn't fix. It was not fair.
Memories stirred and he sighed.
"Your heart grows cold, the north wind blows and carries down the distant... Rose," the Doctor ran his hands through his hair. "They all knew... everyone who met me... they knew about you... and that means something... You... you can't leave me now." He reached forward and grasped her cold hand and he felt her fingers flex under his, curling to capture him in a vice-like grip that made his heart rise to his throat so he felt he was choking. "You can't leave me now." She opened her eyes and sighed.
"Doctor." She murmured.
"I'm here," he murmured, leaning forward in the vain hope that she would be able to hear him if he were closer. "I'm always here."
And it was true. For two days, he stayed by her side. He didn't even move when they came to take Ella's body away. He didn't eat and barely slept, he just kept a constant vigil, watching the girl he cared for as she slowly slipped closer to somewhere he could never follow.
He only realised, that Friday morning, that he was not the only one who cared about Rose.
He was sitting at Rose's bed, looking down at the display of her phone and all the missed calls from Jackie that flashed up in a scary double-digit number. The phone was on silent because he just did not have a way to tell her that he had failed... that Rose wasn't going to be coming home this time...
Unexpectedly, the door to the lab hissed open and the Doctor almost jumped, turning to look at the visitor.
"I'm in love with her." Lewis stated simply, standing in the doorway. The Doctor stared at him, his face expressionless as the taller man strolled into the ward. "You... you just come out of nowhere and you sweep her off her feet... she looks at you with an expression I have never seen from her and... I don't know why." His eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"
The Doctor sighed. "That's quite a good question... sometimes... I think I'm not quite so sure anymore."
Lewis grimaced. "That's a lame excuse for an answer if I ever heard one." He pulled a chair from nearby Ella's vacant bed and threw himself into it, reaching into his rucksack and pulling two bottles of water, one of which he offered to the Doctor.
He took it gratefully.
So Lewis was in love with Rose? He guessed he should feel jealous... but there was nothing. Nothing reared its ugly head from within his chest, he didn't feel angry that Lewis had just admitted his feelings and he didn't feel scared that she was just going to run off with him instead.
He pitied him.
"Are you okay?"
The Doctor sipped some of the water and shrugged. "I feel useless. All I keep thinking... is that I am running out of time to fix her... How long... how long was Ella like... like this before she died?"
Lewis sighed. "A week or so... Look, I'm sorry... for everything I said. I know you're trying... I just..." He looked over at Rose. "She went away for a long time, she jumped to a whole different department to find some man and when John said that she was looking after the Pods while he looked after Ella... I wondered if she had found that man she was looking for..."
"Hang on," said the Doctor, frowning at Lewis. "Repeat that last bit."
"I wondered if–" Lewis started.
"No, no, no. The bit before that."
Before Lewis could open his mouth, the door to the lab hissed open. They both turned to look as John slowly made his way into the lab, looking anywhere but at Ella's empty bed. He looked awful.
"John." Lewis was on his feet. "Are you... what the hell are you doing here? You should be at home."
He gave his brother a look. "At home... which is plastered with pictures of my dead wife? Yeah, sure... that's a brilliant idea." His sarcasm made Lewis frown.
"But here at work? You could at least go to mum's."
Pinching his nose, John shook his head. "All she wants to talk about is Ella." He lowered his hand and directed his gaze to the Doctor. "I'm here to help."
The Doctor blinked. "Pardon?"
"Whatever hurt Ella... It's... it's the same thing that is hurting Rose... and I want to make sure that what hurt her is brought to justice." He looked down at the floor for a minute before looking back to the Doctor. "I'm sorry... for accusing you. I look at you now... and it's like looking in the mirror about a week ago. You'd never hurt Rose..."
No, I wouldn't. The Doctor thought it, but kept his mouth shut and instead just turned back to Lewis.
"What were you saying?"
"What?"
John joined them by Rose's bed, staring down at her in silence.
"You said... You said Rose took over when Ella got sick..."
John shook his head. "We've already thought of that. It can't be the Pods."
"Are you sure?" this time it was Lewis who spoke.
"I checked it was safe after Ella got sick, or I would never have asked Rose to take over..."
"Hang on, gentlemen..."
"Maybe you missed something."
"Guys, please..."
"I didn't. And I know more about my lab than you."
"Well can you think of anything else they have in common?!"
"Will you both just shut up for one bleeding second?!" The brothers stopped their bickering stared at the Doctor, who was standing nearest the door leading to the corridor and into the Torchwood building proper. His eyes were wide. "Lewis is right... The only thing they have in common is that they both worked in the lab. Ella got sick first and then Rose took over the experiments... she was looking over the... Pods... she... Oh you... idiot! " Without another word he turned and exited the room at speed, running down the corridor and bypassing the lift completely, heading straight for the stairs while the brothers trailed along behind him, confused.
He charged down the stairs like an unstoppable force, jumping the last few every time he neared the bottom. "Ella was already sick... when I arrived... but..." He panted to the barely following brothers as he ran. Thud. "... only just... and... Lewis said... it happened..." thud. "Slowly... gradually... We didn't... know... Rose... didn't..." thud. "...know..."
He flung open the door on the correct level and once again pelted down the corridor. He stopped at an intersection and looked both ways before charging off again, remembering the route that Rose had taken him before. This is the corridor on which she smiled that way at him... on this corridor she touched her hair shyly when she noticed him staring at her... He had ached to kiss her here... Needing to touch her skin again.
Lab Six. He had found it. The door hissed open and he stumbled to a stop inside, staring at the remaining Pod. It all seemed so simple.
"Where's the other Pod?!" He demanded turning to the brothers who had just charged in, a few seconds after himself.
"You... could have... sl-slowed down..." Lewis was bent almost double, holding onto John who was staring at the Pod in confusion.
"The other Pod... there was another one left! Where has it gone?"
Lewis and John stared.
"How... How are we supposed... to know? We... we haven't... been... been in the... lab... for... for days..." John gasped.
The Doctor nodded, of course. "That settles it."
"I know... what you're thinking... Doctor. But... if the Pods have been... affecting the girls... why... why haven't..." He took a deep breath. "Why aren't... we sick?"
The Doctor turned again and stared at the remaining Pod and the two empty incubators, flicking between them all with his wide eyes. He turned once more and stared at the two men. "What?"
"The... girls, how have they been infected? I've been with the Pods as much as Ella and Rose and I... I'm fine. That... that's why it couldn't be the Pods... You... you're grasping at straws." He stood up and winced, clutching his side.
"Oh." The Doctor sounded almost disappointed. He thought for a moment. "Oh?... No, wait... Oh!... OH! Hang on... OH! OH! YOU... you... OH! Females!" When both men sent identical confused looks to the Doctor, he skipped over to the dissected Pod in the glass container and pointed at it. "On their planet, I saw green and pink Pods. Green and pink. Male and female. Green Pods fall to earth in... a military camp – all men – no effect but put the Pods in the vicinity of two women and they get sick the longer they... YES! The Pods are making them sick! Males effect females. Females effect males!" He glared at the dead Pod. "They begin dead. They steal the life force from a host and they can move, change... mate."
"What are you talking about?"
The Doctor was silent for a moment before he swore, turning around and slamming his hand against an innocent tabletop. "ARGH! NO! STUPID! Stupid, cloggy human brain... ow..." Shaking his hand, he turned back to the two men, glaring at them with an intensity that scared them. "This wasn't just an accident, the Pods were sent here on purpose. Three male Pods to steal the life from human females and mate to create more Pods... that take the life of more humans, change, mate, more Pods, take the life of humans, change, mate, the cycle goes on, on and on and on and on and on and on an on... never stopping until the whole human race is dead. This is not an accident. This is an invasion."
"An invasion..."
The Doctor nodded. "Whoever sent these... these Pods... these things. They intend to wipe out humanity..." He shook his head in disgust. "They are using a species as a weapon!"
"What do we do for Rose?"
The Doctor grinned. "We know what's making her sick now. All we have to do is find it."
"But we're running out of time."
He was well aware of that.
Thanks to:
bunny-chan19: Haha! We'll I'm guessing you're in the US so its a bit difficult for me to judge when to upload a chapter but I hope this one finds you at a better time! I trust Opalkitty will let you know when it's available :P This chapter was hard... and easy at the same time! I hope you enjoy and don't kill me for it! I hope you're okay with all this!
bookygurl: It's all getting a bit exciting now! Enjoy!
Opalkitty: I AM SO SO SORRY! I know you keep saying that you hope Ella makes a full recovery and it made me really guilty because I tried to think of a way so she could survive but... it wouldn't have worked! I hope you forgive me :(
spiritedghost: Can I hug you? Your review was epic. And I mean epic! I'm glad you love the story but you know I'm not going to give anything away, because you might decide to just give up on reading and I would love for everyone to stay with this until the end because my head is full of ideas and I want everyone to enjoy what I create because all these ideas... I just love them! They're... my imagination is my greatest asset and I want everyone to see what I see! I think you do! So thank you! Your review made me very happy!
JollyRoger1: She's the mother of a girl who is in love with an alien! She has to be!