A/N: Here's the next chapter.

I am still amazed by all of the people reading this story and it makes me so incredibly happy. So thanks to all of you wonderful people out there who are reading this story. It means everything to me.

Special thanks to MrsChilton, BenoightLangson, AlinaBelmonte, NatVidal, oliviatennant, guest, guest, LaceNLeather24 and german reader!

I don't own Law and Order: SVU!

"You may not know what the outcome will be, but you have to try to give yourself a future, no matter how long it takes. You have to hold on to hope."
~ Peter W. Smorynski

The agony of waiting wore on for another three long hours. Her eyes had been focused on the door, her heart skipping a beat with each doctor that walked into their direction. Everyone around her was silent, each of them trying to hold it together as they waited for any sign that Barba survived.

From Barba's family only his mother was present. She had exchanged a few glances with the woman, but decided to allow her space. They'd only met once and she felt it wasn't her place to approach her. Besides, she had no idea what Barba had told his mother about their relationship. Especially how much it changed in the past year.

She nearly leaped from her chair when her phone began ringing in her pocket. She rushed from her seat and into the hallway. She looked down at the screen and saw it was Carisi so she accepted the call.

''Carisi, anything yet?'' she asked immediately. If anything would get them through this it would be catching the shooter.

She heard a deep sigh from the other end of the line. ''We have confirmed that Felipe Heredio is the shooter through surveillance footage.'' Carisi responded quickly. ''The APB has already been issued and TARU is tracking his phone as we speak because we just received the warrant from the judge.''

''That's good, Carisi.'' she said. She was so grateful that her squad was able to keep it together because she couldn't in this situation. ''There's still no news on Barba I am afraid.'' she announced, knowing he would ask after he had briefed her.

''Rollins and Fin are on their way to question Rigo Heredio in prison.'' he said. ''I am staying at the station until we have a lead on Felipe.''

''Good,'' she said again. ''I'll call if there's any news about Barba.''

''Thanks, Lieutenant.''

The line went dead and she put the phone back in her pocket. For a moment she stood frozen in the hospital hallway. The squad was at least closing in on Felipe Heredio. In a way that made it a little better. Once he was arrested for attempted murder, he'd never walk the streets again. That's what happened when an ADA was shot. The entire NYPD was outraged and would join together in their first for justice.

As she turned around she saw Lucia Barba standing right behind her. ''Mrs. Barba.'' she greeted, her voice soft and scared.

''Please, call me Lucia.'' she offered her. ''So I heard from my son it's Lieutenant now.''

Olivia had her hands clasped together in suspense. She had no idea what to expect from this conversation. ''Yes,'' she said, nodding her head. ''I'm so sorry about Rafael. How are you doing?''

''Trying to stay strong.'' she whispered. ''Looks like you're not doing much better.'' she noted as she looked at the woman before her. She was clearly affected by the events of the day. More so than anyone else she'd seen in the waiting room.

Olivia didn't know if there was an appropriate way to respond to the remark, but she was right of course. ''Your son means a lot to all of us. I can't imagine him not being in this world.'' she said. ''The world needs more people like him.''

''I can't disagree with that.'' Lucia said, seeing Olivia just relax a little more. They had met once and that moment had been fleeting. But she had heard many stories from her son. When the stories continued, and she had become the only subject, she realized her son was in love. Probably only for the second time in his entire life, and it warmed her heart. She had seen her son brokenhearted over Yelina for too long. He deserved better and the fleeting relationships to nurse his broken heart hadn't meant much to him. That was until she had first heard of the bright and passionate Olivia Benson that came into his life.

''Rafael never stopped talking about you. Even after he returned to Brooklyn.'' she revealed. ''You were still on his mind every day.''

The words almost made her cry, hearing that from Barba's mother. It not only made her feel guilty but also hopeful. Hopeful that if he made it, that they might have a chance at a future. That was if he could forgive her for continuously walking away.

''I never stopped thinking about him either.'' Olivia mumbled, a tear falling down her cheek. She felt embarrassed for crying. She had cried more in a few short hours than ever before. But she had never been so terrified and hopeless before. These intense feelings were all new to her. Never did she believe that her own happiness could depend so much on another's life. And it did. Probably since the moment she met him, and it took her so long to acknowledge it.

Lucia was about to speak when her name was being called out from behind her. She watched Olivia's eyes grew wider, so she turned around to see a surgeon calling out for her.

Olivia joined her as they walked into the direction of the female surgeon, still clothed in her scrubs. ''I am Lucia Barba.'' Olivia heard her say as she stood next to her.

The surgeon took off her surgical cap and looked them both in the eye. ''Your son made it through surgery and he is being brought to a recovery room as we speak.'' she said first to reveal the most important news. ''We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage.''

''Thank you! Thank you.'' Lucia repeated as she shook the surgeon's hands quickly.

With each word being said, Olivia felt the weight being lifted from her shoulders. For an unknown reason her knees went weak. The rest of the conversation became a blur. All she heard was words like damage, scars, bleeding, and CPR. Everything was all too much in that moment.

Yet it was a miracle and she couldn't help but smile widely. It was the best news in the world and it made her feel so much better in an instant. But even though he had made it, she still had an unsettling feeling. It wasn't any day that Barba got shot and she wondered what it would do to him, mentally and physically.

''Your son was very lucky, Ma'am. The bullet didn't hit any vital blood vessels which gave him a chance at survival.'' she explained. ''If his recovery runs smoothly he can be walking out of the hospital in three days. One of my colleagues will talk to you about his recovery at home, but for now you should see him. I will have one of the nurses escort you to his room.''

She followed Lucia and a nurse to another wing of the hospital where they were led toward a private room. But she stopped in the doorway before she could see Barba in the bed.

Lucia turned around and watched Olivia standing by the doorway like a statute. ''Are you coming in?''

''I need to call the squad and let them know he made it through.'' she said, but deep down it was an excuse. ''I will come by later.'' she said and Lucia nodded at her.

She leaned against the wall, her hands shaking. She had no idea what was happening but her heart raced in her chest. She was so scared so she remained glued to the wall. There was something she had to fix first, or rather, make right before she'd be with Barba. She just had to.

From the room she heard Lucia repeating ''mi hijo'' in a sweet and loving voice. She took out her phone and dialed for Carisi. The phone was picked up within seconds and she immediately gave him the good news, hearing him sigh in relief on the other end. After saying their goodbyes, she hang up.

She walked away from the room and slowly but surely made it back to the hospital waiting room where everyone had gotten the news as well. Faces were covered in smiles and people were actually speaking again. It lifted her spirits, knowing so many people were there for Barba and had his back.

But one person in particular stared back at her, and although Tucker displayed a smile, which was rare, she knew she had to clear up many things. It was the one thing she needed to do before she went to see Barba. She couldnt see him with a clear consciouss with Tucker still holding out hope, or maybe not hope. It just didnt matter. It was time for them to have this conversation.

She gave him a small nod, suggesting he come with her. She watched him stride her way and she made it to another private room in the hospital, holding the door open for him. She made her way to the bed and sat down on the edge as she heard Tucker close the door.

''Ed,'' she stressed, but words failed her when she tried to say something. ''I…uh…I need to tell you something.''

''Olivia, I really don't think I want to hear this.'' he pondered. The expression she gave him urged him to walk away as fast he could and he was ready to do so. He didn't want to hear it. He couldn't.

She watched the grimace on his face as he faced away from her intentionally. ''Hang on, please!'' she asked him. ''I want to tell you the truth.''

He spun around at her words, shrugging his shoulders. ''What's there to say?''

''Ed, you've made me feel sane in this past year. You were exactly what I needed to make it through life.'' she said. ''But…'' she tried to go on, but he interrupted her.

''Barba, right?'' he interjected. ''I guess there's nothing I have to offer that you want or need.''

She rose from the bed, attempting to close the distance but with each step he took one more back. She pulled a hand through her hair at the pain she witnessed in his eyes. ''I love him, Ed.'' she whispered. ''I didn't realize that before today, but I know now. And I am so sorry about this. I never intended to hurt you.''

''I'm not going to stand here and pretend that it doesn't hurt. Because it does. I saw a future for us, with Noah. So yes, it hurts.'' he admitted openly. ''But I've seen this coming for quite some time.''

''I am truly sorry.'' Olivia apologized again. ''I really am.''

''I know you are.'' he nodded. ''At the end of the day I just want you to be happy, Liv. You really deserve it.''

She looked up at him and was extremely grateful for his attitude. He was being a real adult and it made a difficult conversation a little easier. ''So do you.''

''Before all of this happened I wanted to let you know that I put my transfer papers in. Hostage negotiation has an opening I didn't want to pass up.'' he informed her. ''So we'll be seeing a lot less of each other.''

She was shocked. IAB had been everything to him. ''Wow, that's a big change for you.'' she commented. ''Are you happy about it?''

''It's a fresh start. Something I need right now.'' he replied as he looked her in the eyes, still feeling the same longing he felt when he was with her. She had changed him for the better. Made him see the world through her eyes and for that he'd be forever grateful. ''I should go.''

She could see the struggle was real for him as it was for her. Ending this particular relationship was most painful of all of them. She was breaking his heart, and that didn't feel right to her, but leading him on would be worse. ''Yeah,'' she whispered softly. ''Thank you for everything.'' she said as he turned to the door and looked at her with one last glance before he walked out of the room, and at the same time out of her life.