When Rey woke the next morning, she noticed something was missing. The sound of rain was gone, and when she rose halfway on her elbow to look out the small window of the room she shared with Kylo Ren she could see that the sky outside was clear.

She left him sleeping there and went alone to bathe. When she returned, she was neatly dressed in her training gear and her hair had been returned to the three buns that were her trademark.

"Get up," she said simply. "It's time we got back to work. "

They parried with lightsabers that day. Rey was focused, asking questions about technique and style. Kylo Ren had been classically trained in the use of the lightsaber since a young age, and watching him use the weapon was like watching someone perform ballet. He was fluid and natural in his movements, as if it was his first language, which in a way, Rey supposed, it was.

They broke for a meal at midday, sweating and exhausted but pleased too, to be back at work again. Their days spent in bed had been full of intoxicating pleasures, but they were each people that were accustomed to spending most of their time alone. It felt good to take a step back, get some breathing room, and remember again what it felt like to move independently.

Ren was preparing their simple meal while Rey was polishing the metal shaft of her lightsaber when she asked, seemingly out of nowhere, "In the woods, on Starkiller base, when you told Finn that this light saber belonged to you, what did you mean by that?"

He paused in his movements, going quite still. As much as I think she knows me, there's twice that she couldn't begin to imagine, he thought. And no way of knowing which one will be too much to bear. He thought quickly of what he could say to deflect her. It belonged to me by right of being Luke's nephew. It belonged to me more than some nameless traitor stormtrooper. It belonged to me because I wield the Force.

But as he saw her face, open and trusting as she focused on cleaning the saber, he recalled his promise from the night before. "You will deny me nothing," she had demanded. And he had agreed.

So he told the truth. As much as he dared.

"That light saber belonged to my grandfather," he said. "He was a Jedi."

Her face lit up, and she looked at the saber with a newfound reverence. "Wow," she breathed. She looked at him, considering, and then extended the hilt of the weapon to him.

"It does belong to you, then. You should have it."

He couldn't help but see it, the gleam of hope in her eyes as she looked at him, offering him the weapon. It was too familiar, too much like the look in his father's eyes when Ren had held his own lightsaber out to him. It's too late, he had told his father, and it was. He felt a flicker of resentment curl in his belly at the way she was looking at him.

His voice grew cold. "Why should I have it? That is the weapon for a Jedi, and I will never be a Jedi. That door is closed to me, forever. "

She furrowed her brow at him, uncertain of the shift in his mood. "No door has been closed to you. All anyone has done is keep opening doors back to you, doors you seem intent on slamming shut."

He said nothing in reply, only continued preparing the food for their meal.

She tried again. "Nothing about this is easy, but that doesn't mean you have to make it harder by-"

"By what?" he exploded at her, his dark eyes flashing. "By telling you the truth? What do you think is going to happen, Rey? Is your plan to love me back to being good again?" He fell silent as she flushed and averted her eyes.

This time, his voice cut her like a knife. "You're a fool if you ever thought that was going to work."

She opened her mouth to reply, but they both fell silent as the sounds of a ship enter the atmosphere over the island reached them. Rey knew it instantly.

"It's the Millennium Falcon. Luke is back."

But it wasn't him.

It was Finn.

It had taken awhile for Finn to be well enough to be woken from the medically induced coma on D'Qar, but as soon as he regained consciousness he had asked for Rey. It had taken him awhile to understand that she wasn't there. Poe had to explain several times that she was gone, on an important mission at the request of General Organa. Eventually Finn understood. He knew Rey had a bigger part to play than just being his friend.

But when Luke Skywalker showed up at D'Qar for a lengthy stay without her, he became suspicious. None of the explanations that were offered made sense to him. It's part of her training, Luke told him. But hasn't she already spent enough time in her life isolated and alone without people who cared about her? He wasn't buying it. Besides, he felt lost without her.

That's why he had convinced Poe to steal the Millennium Falcon.

"We aren't really stealing it," he explained. "General Organa sort of gave it to Rey anyway. We're just using it to go find her. Make sure she's okay."

Poe was resistant to the idea at first, but Finn knew he was dying to get into the cockpit of that famous ship. "Okay," he finally agreed, "But just there and back, to make sure she is okay. If we do this quick, no one should notice we've even taken her."

They had absconded with the ship in the quiet hours after midnight, when some of Poe's close friends who he could trust to keep quiet were in charge of traffic at the base. It was strange to be back on the ship without her, and Finn felt a pang as he watched Poe sit in the pilot's chair, the place that had been Han Solo's.

The trip through hyperspace took a few hours, and as they drew close to the island Finn looked eagerly out of the windows at the scenery below. "Do you see anything?" he asked Poe, scanning the rocky green landscape. Poe shook his head, focused on the task of landing a craft meant to be piloted by two.

As Rey watched the ramp extend, her emotions were battling with each other. Kylo Ren had known instantly it was not Luke Skywalker in the circling ship, and they had figured out at the same time that it was the ex-Stormtrooper and the Resistance pilot about to land on the island.

When Finn came down the ramp, she saw his face light up at the sight of her standing there. Will he still look at me the same when he knows the truth, she wondered. Or will he wish he had never known me? He ran to her and embraced her tightly, and she blinked back tears.

He pulled away from her then and began to chatter excitedly, and as Poe joined he folded her in his own embrace. Finn continued to ask question after question without pausing to allow her to answer. Rey smiled at him. I'll just enjoy this, she decided. What might be the last few minutes he wants to call me his friend.

"But Rey," he finally finished, "I just don't understand. Why have you been staying alone here while Luke has been on D'Qar?"

She looked at him in the sudden silence, his face expectant. She took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to reply.

"She hasn't been alone. She's been with me."

Oh, damn, she thought miserably, cursing Kylo Ren. Finn and Poe's eyes had gone very wide, and Rey looked behind her to where the tall, black-clad figure was sauntering towards them. He moved with the grace of a hunter, and there was something menacing in his eyes.

I thought we decided you were going to wait for us at the top, after I told them, she thought at him.

New plan, he thought back.

Turning back to her friends, she was dismayed to see that Ren had put them in Force holds. "What are you doing?" she cried. "Let them go!"

"That one," Ren spat, his eyes flashing at Poe, "was going for his blaster pistol. And the other one was about to grab you. You're too trusting, Rey."

She could feel the fury rolling off him as he circled around the frozen pair, like a predator trapping his prey. He's reckless, she realized, especially when he feels threatened. She took the blaster pistol from Poe's holster and took it to him, pressing it into his hands. His eyes gleamed down at her, full of emotions she couldn't identify.

You've taught me well. I'm very strong. I'll kill anyone who tries to take me away from you. As she thought this at him she stared directly into his eyes, and his expression softened. Now I need you to trust me, and let me handle this. He gazed at her, uncertain at first, but then nodded, taking the blaster pistol and disappearing up the steps.

The Force hold paralyzing Finn and Poe dropped, and they sagged with relief, staring at her in disbelief.

Finally Finn spoke. "Rey...what is this?" His voice was full of dread, because he already knew what she was going to tell him, and he didn't want to hear the words coming from his friend's mouth.

She knew this, and kept it simple. "I love him."

They both stared at her in horror. Finn began to cry then, rough angry sobs that shook his body. Poe trembled quietly with rage as he held onto his friend and lover, the man who had held him when he had shouted himself awake from nightmares featuring Kylo Ren and a dark interrogation room.

She spoke quietly as she detailed the series of events that had led to his being there as. She tried to explain the strange connection they had, the energy that she had recognized in him since the first time she saw his face. She attempted to describe how Kylo Ren had changed, slowly, as he had spent more time on the island, away from the First Order.

"Or maybe I was just able to see him, to see another side of him that was always there, just afraid to be seen," she finished, and paused. She bit her lip, trying to decide if she should say more. "I think...I think terrible things have happened to him. Yes, I know he's done terrible things. Horrible, evil things, and it makes me sick to think about it." She shook her head now, her eyes filling with tears. "But I don't think that's who he really is. I can't believe that. It's Snoke's influence, Snoke's hold on him. The longer he's away...the more he remembers who he really is." She looked at them, the unshed tears shining in her eyes. Her face was pleading.

"Will you help me?" she said, reaching out her hand to Finn. "Will you help us?"

She found him at the top of the island, staring into the fire with a cloudy expression on his face.

"They're readying the ship to leave," she told him.

"Good," he said roughly.. "They should never have come here." His eyes were distant, his face a mask. So quick to withdraw, she thought, her heart aching as she felt the roil of his emotions through their connection. She went to him and put her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his firm chest. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes as she readied herself to tell him what she had decided.

"I want to go with them," she said.

Kylo Ren heard this and stiffened in her arms. Part of him wasn't surprised, not really. Part of him hadn't trusted it, hadn't believed it could be real, that she could love him and choose him over things that were solid and real and good. It was funny, really, that he could have been so foolish, so weak..

"Of course," he said with a voice of ice, feeling removed somehow, like he was watching himself from a distance. I'm dying, he thought. I'm watching a part of myself die. "You should go. You should go with them."

She turned head up to look at him, her eyes bewildered at his words, and she saw his confusion. "No. That's not what I want." She pulled his head down to hers until their foreheads were touching. "I want to take you home...Ben Solo."

His heart cracked open then, in a way he didn't know was possible anymore. God damn, it hurt, the way others insisted on having hope for him. He tried not to be touched by it, but when she looked at him this way he was helpless. He had written himself off as hopeless long ago, allowed his heart to become iced over, and this thawing - it was excruciating. He was sure he wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Rey," he pleaded. His voice was strangled, and she could feel the struggle in him. The push and pull of self-hatred and fear warring against what she had awakened. It was nascent, yes, but it had a strength of its own. She could almost see it, a small flame there at his center desperately trying to spread as he fought against it, in agony as it made him aware of pains he had long ago ago grown numb to. He gripped her like a drowning man. "I can't," he moaned. "I can't...It's too late."

She shook her head against him, her hands tangling in his dark curls as she held onto him tightly. "It can't be too late. I won't let it be. Come with me. Ben..." She said his name, his true name, relishing the sound of it coming out of her mouth, feeling herself grow more certain with each moment that this was right for them. "We can't hide here forever." He tightened his grip in stubborn denial, and she pulled back and searched his eyes. "I can't hide here forever. It's not the kind of person I am. Not while my friends are risking their lives fighting."

"Fighting the First Order! Which, if you've forgotten, is the side I'm sworn to, Rey." He pulled away from her and turned away, moving to the edge of the cliff in the same spot she had found Luke Skywalker standing just a few months ago. She followed him, slipping her arms around his waist and hugging him to her as she pressed her cheek against his back. "That isn't who you are anymore." Believe it, she thought fiercely, her heart threatening to break, not knowing what she would do if he refused her.

He made a sound then, halfway between a laugh and a sob. "I don't know who I am, anymore."

Rey took on the co-piloting duties as they left the small island, happy to mechanically respond to Poe's directions without having to think. The dark haired pilot was deeply troubled by what had happened on the island, she could tell, and after they made the jump into hyperspace she left him alone in the cockpit, lost in thought.

Finn was sitting in the semi-circular lounge seats, unbuckling the acceleration straps that held passengers in during the jump to hyperspace. His face was guarded as Rey came in, and it hurt her to see. How long until he doesn't resent me for this, she wondered. Will it ever be like it was? She shoved the thought aside as she took a seat next to him.

"Thank you," she said simply. "You don't know what this means to us."

Finn's gaze was level, his words direct. "I'm not doing this for him."

She didn't respond, not knowing what to say. Finn sighed, his concern for her evident in his body. "I don't know how you think this is going to work. Bringing Kylo Ren into a Resistance base-How come you think they won't take him prisoner, immediately?"

"Because only six people in the Resistance know Kylo Ren and Ben Solo are the same person. General Organa, Master Luke, you two, me, and Chewie," she explained. "No one else knows what Kylo Ren looks like, or who he was before. We have to establish contact with General Organa and Luke somehow before we land, and let them know what is happening. That way they can be waiting for us when we arrive, and help us get him off board, and off base, to somewhere safe."

He looked at her, not bothering to hide the disgust in his eyes. "I still can't believe you're protecting him. You can't have forgotten that he killed his father, Rey. We were there. We saw the whole thing."

She stood, and nodded. "I haven't forgotten," she said, in a voice tight with tears, before she walked away.

She found him in the crew quarters, prying open an access panel underneath one of the beds.

"What are you doing?" she asked him suspiciously as he reached his arm deep into the nether regions of the ship. He ignored her and kept digging, finally unearthing a dusty X-Wing starfighter model jet that had been stashed there. It was a child's toy, left in a child's hiding place and even though he had little reaction to it she could tell by the way he looked at it that it had been his once upon a time.

She watched him as he sat on one of the crew bunks examined it quietly. "I guess you spent a lot of time on here, as a child. Being here must bring back a lot of memories." she said. She felt stupid for not thinking about how, how this place might be a painful reminder for him of Han Solo. She felt sad, imagining him as a child on this ship, running around innocently, perhaps playing games with his father and mother. A child, hiding toys on a ship in mimicry of his father, the famous smuggler. Back when they were all happy, in the early days of the New Republic, before the threat of the First Order had grown.

He glanced at her and set the ship aside. "Not as much as you'd think. My father was...gone a lot." His words held much that was unspoken, and she took the warning in them to refrain from making assumptions about his past

She nodded and was turning to leave the room, to let him alone to his moodiness when suddenly she felt a blast of the Force go past her, causing the doors to the crew quarters to hiss shut. She whirled around in surprise, and he was right there, his hands firmly on her hips as he pushed her against the wall.

"I'd like to make some new memories," he breathed, nuzzling her neck.

She closed her eyes, feeling her breath catch in her throat as he lightly bit the place where her shoulder met her neck. "I don't know," she said reluctantly, "They're right outside…" Despite her protest she felt herself responding, her body eager to feel close to him after all the uncertainty and emotional turmoil of the day.

His hands slid inside her clothing, and she shivered. "Oh, I think you know, Rey," he murmured darkly into her ear. He had reached into her underwear and found her ready for him, and as he slipped his fingers inside her she muffled her moan against his shoulder. "I think you know I am going to fuck you right here, right now."

She pulled back slightly and looked at him, surprised. His eyes were very black, and she could see at once what the day had cost him. What taken from him, to give up control as he had and follow her. What it meant for him to be in this place, in this situation.

And she saw, with a flutter of anticipation, that she was going to pay for it.

He was ruthless in taking his pleasure, and in giving it, refusing to stop until she had cried out so loudly that she knew there was no way Finn and Poe hadn't heard. That was his intention, she thought, her cheeks flaming with humiliation even as her body betrayed her and begged for more. He meant to claim her, and to do it as publicly as possible, so that there was no denying that she belonged totally to him.

When at last he was sated he smiled at her, his top lip curling with satisfaction.

"Did you really think," he asked, "that you could possess my soul without losing your own?"*

Author Note-*this line is 100% totally inspired by Diana Gabaldon's beautiful novel Outlander in which a character says "Seems I canna possess your soul without losing my own." Go read her books!

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