"It has nothing to do with weakness. The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that others don't have." ~Remus Lupin, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Chapter 9

For about one second, Hermione stood frozen, unable to think, move, fight. She was overwhelmed by the presence of the dementors, by the sight of their rotted hands reaching for her, their eyeless gray faces looming over her as they advanced.

But this wasn't a time to freeze up. Hermione reached into her robes, her hands shaking so badly she almost dropped her wand. She pointed it at the nearest dementor and cried, her voice breaking, "Expecto patronum!"

A wisp of light spurted out of her wand and then faded harmlessly away.

The dementor barely paused before ghosting toward her, its horrific hands inches from her face. Then there was a sudden blaze of light and a glowing horse charged past Hermione, driving the dementor back. It screeched and swept away from the Patronus, unable to bear its light.

Hermione turned, dazed and sickened, to see Ginny standing there, wand still pointed at the dementor. Their eyes met and Ginny nodded once, her face grim. Hermione felt Ginny's encouragement as if she had just been lent a hand to grasp, and she turned back to the small army of dementors, which had hesitated upon seeing Ginny's horse Patronus.

"Get to the door." Ron's breath was warm on her ear. "Don't bother fighting. Just get to the door."

For a moment Hermione was confused, and then she realized what he was saying, and anger rushed through her. "I'm not going to leave you here," she hissed. "I'm no coward."

It was then that the dementors decided Ginny's Patronus was no longer enough of a threat to keep them from their prey. They glided forward as one, their whispering breaths sending clouds of steam into the air. This time, Hermione was prepared. Her wand was steady as she pointed it at the advancing line and held a memory in her head—an old memory, one she had forgotten for years but that came to her in this moment of rushing adrenaline and pounding fear.

She thought of Ron, and she thought of Harry. She thought of them sitting side by side in the Gryffindor common room by the roaring fire, walking through Hogsmeade with their arms slung across each other's shoulders, always beside each other, always fighting for one another. A little spark of joy ignited in her chest, and her Patronus burst out of her wand like it had been dying to escape for ages.

The otter swam through the air like water, darting toward dementors and sending them doubling back quickly. Ron's Jack Russell terrier quickly joined the onslaught, and the three Patronuses slowly began to fight their enemies back.

Hermione heard a shout and spun. A decaying hand was clamped on Ron's shoulder, the other hand wrapping around his neck and forcing his head up. Hermione didn't hesitate. She thrust her wand toward the dementor and screamed, "Expecto Patronum!", summoning up the first happy thought that came to her mind.

It was her first kiss with Ron.

She had no time to recover from her shocking memory before another dementor had latched onto her arm and was dragging her toward it. For a moment she stared dazed into the face of the dementor, its mouth gaping as it drank her soul greedily. Horrible images flashed before her eyes—some of them things that had happened and some she did not recognize. There was Remus Lupin and Tonks lying pale and still on the floor of the Great Hall, hand in hand, and then that changed into a scene of her parents being tortured by Voldemort—something that was not a memory at all.

She watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley crying over Fred's body, and then she looked on in horror as Fred morphed into Ron, cold and pale and dead in his parents' arms. And then there was Harry, held by a wailing Hagrid, his brilliant green eyes shut forever, his life ended.

"No!" she screamed, ripping away from the dementor's horrific visions. She fell backward and hit the ground hard, shaking too badly to stand. Hermione stared up at the dementor, feeling tears drip down her cheeks from the images she had just seen. It bent over and reached for her a second time, and this time she knew she wouldn't be able to break away.

And then Ron was there as if he had appeared out of thin air, standing between Hermione and the dementor, a look of hard determination on his face. His voice was low and calm as he murmured, "Expecto Patronum." There was no terrier dog bursting from his wand. Instead a shapeless light, so bright Hermione had to turn her face away, enveloped the three of them. Wind whipped Hermione's hair and robes, and she covered her eyes with her hands, terrified, imagining she could feel the dementor's hands still on her.

It could have been minutes later or seconds when she felt something touch her arm. She whimpered and shrank away.

"Hermione." Ron's quiet voice penetrated her fear. "Hermione, it's all right. It's over."

Hermione slowly lowered her shaking hands to look into Ron's face. His eyes were serious, searching hers. "Are you all right? You aren't hurt, are you?" he asked her with concern.

Hermione opened her mouth to tell him that yes, everything was fine, they could continue on straightaway, but instead more tears poured out of her eyes and she threw her arms around Ron's neck. She felt him stiffen with surprise and then awkwardly put his arms around her, repeating in her ear, "It's all right. You're safe now."

But was it really all right? Could they do this? Seeing those visions—some of them real, some of them false—had created a whole new level of doubt in Hermione's mind. They had all lost so much already. Ron had lost two of his brothers, and with George in the state he was currently in, he might as well have lost him, too. They were putting so much at risk, being here. It had been her idea to find the remaining Horcrux, her idea to seek Ron out, and because of her Ginny and now Neville were being put in the line of fire as well.

Could she really do this to her friends?

She opened her tear-blurred eyes to look at Ginny over Ron's shoulder. She was watching them both with a solemn expression. Suddenly ashamed of breaking down in front of them both, Hermione pulled away from Ron, and he released her somewhat reluctantly. She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice still thick with tears. "I-I don't know what came over me."

"You saw the visions," Ginny said flatly, setting her jaw and crossing her arms. "Yeah. We kind of guessed."

"I didn't handle it well, though. You shouldn't have had to see that."

Ginny sighed. "You don't have to be a rock, Hermione. It's not a crime to show some emotion once in a while."

Hermione bit back the response that popped into her mind, that Ginny didn't exactly let her feelings be known to the others either. This wasn't the time to start a row.

Ron stood up and wordlessly held out his hand. Hermione took it and let him help her to her feet. For a moment their eyes met and their hands lingered together, and Hermione thought of the memory that had come unbidden into her head, her kiss with Ron, and she wondered if he had remembered the very same thing…and then Hermione drew back, feeling her face heat up with embarrassment.

The dementors had all scattered after Ron's immensely powerful Patronus. Though the dreadful chill was still in the air, it had lessened without the immediate presence of dementors.

"How did you do that, Ron?" Hermione asked, still trying to regain the last of her composure.

"Do what?"

"That Patronus!" Hermione exclaimed. "What else? You chased them all off in one go!"

Ron shrugged. "Ginny helped."

Ginny snorted. "I barely did anything. That was all you, Ron." For just a moment, a shadow of affection passed her gaze as she looked at her brother, but it was gone in the next instant.

"I just had an incredibly happy memory," said Ron carelessly, and Hermione could have sworn he glanced at her.

"I suppose we should go in," Hermione said shakily, gazing at the huge, towering fortress of Azkaban. "They know there are intruders here now. We'll be swarmed by dementors again in a few minutes' time."

Ginny nodded grimly and Ron stepped closer to Hermione. For only a moment, Hermione was tempted to move away from him, but then changed her mind and reached out to grasp his hand tightly. Reaching out, she took hold of Ginny's hand as well, and then took a deep, steadying breath. There was no room for doubt now.

Together they stepped up to the door. Ron took out his wand again, whispered, "Alohomora," and a little click told them that there were no un-lockable charms put on the door. Ginny gently pushed on the door, and it swung open with a creak.

Heart pounding, Hermione squeezed her friends' hands and stepped into the shadows of Azkaban.