New year, new chapter. I hope you all enjoy, and please forgive the infrequent updates. I have to be in a certain mood to write and it's kind of rare.

Warnings - intimate sexual situations involving real people. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to represent the people herein.

Thank you for reading and reviewing, as always!

HATSUKOI
Chapter 10

The day of opening night, the tension of the cast and crew hung in the air like a weighty mist. Shogo's usual bravado was subdued, and after the boy missed a step twice in a row, he actually shocked everyone and burst into tears. Taka hastily excused them and pulled the kid behind several rows of curtains.

"Baby, breathe. Talk to me."

"Th-That step..."

"You hardly ever miss a step, it's no big deal."

"But twice! In a row!"

Taka put his arms around the 14-year-old and made hushing noises. "Kid, we're all flustered. You know how it is. We stumble in rehearsal, but when it counts, when the lights are on us and we're focused, everything falls into place."

"But I don't miss steps," Shogo pouted.

"Well, it's your turn then."

"I've had opening nights before. I shouldn't be nervous."

"Why not? I'm nervous before every performance. And admittedly, the stakes are high. A lot is expected of us."

"No pressure, right?"

"Unfortunately, a lot of pressure," Taka laughed. "But you know the songs, you know the dances and swings and all your marks. I've been watching you, you know."

"Like, in a pervy way?"

That was the Shogo he knew and loved. "I meant during rehearsal. Don't pout. I also watch you for selfish reasons."

"Which are?"

"That I love you and you're gorgeous."

Shogo sighed, and let his head rest against Taka's shoulder. "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for being you. Just lean on me."

"I am."

Another laugh. "Yes, and I enjoy that, but I meant figuratively. If you need to vent, talk, cry, I'm here."

"I'm doing better now that we're roomed together. But I wish we could sleep in the same bed."

"I know, baby. But if there was an emergency and someone came in...remember, Sensei and Masuda have master key-cards. You're underage and I'd like to avoid prison."

"We could say I had a nightmare or something."

"Yeah, but your nudity would be harder to explain."

Shogo shrugged. "Maybe I sleep naked."

"Nice try. It's only when we sleep, baby. Every other moment we're in that room, you're either under me or on my lap."

"Taka?"

"Hmm?"

"When can we do it?"

"I told you. If you still want me on your 18th birthday, I'll pound you into a mattress of your choice." Taka kept his voice light, hiding the wistfulness he felt that was so apparent in Shogo's face.

"Four years."

"I know, kid. But we do other stuff, don't we?"

They did, touching each other all over, kissing, sucking each other, and just as importantly, talking intimately. Shogo was reluctant to detail what had happened with Nobu, because it made his boyfriend so angry, but as Taka had requested, Shogo explained as best he could, relieved to be assured again that Taka didn't think less of him for no longer being a virgin. The elder had even said it didn't really count, because it had not been completed. It seemed every time Taka said something kind, Shogo found himself a little more besotted.

"Ready to go back?"

"Don't want to...but I guess we should."

They held hands on the way out of the maze of curtains, as long as they could.

daimaodaimao

Kyousuke was nervous when Yuya gestured him to one of the dressing rooms during a dance rehearsal break. The elder looked serious, but then, he always did, and nothing had very recently changed. Yuya could, of course, have finally decided he didn't want to keep up this charade of a relationship anymore, but Kyousuke knew he wouldn't blame him. He expected it every day.

But Yuya smiled once they were alone. "I just wanted to see how you are, and wish you good luck tonight."

"I'm okay. Are...you?"

"Baby, please don't be so anxious. You're not doing anything wrong."

"I'm hurting you."

"You're not. I admit, the situation is not ideal," Yuya forced-laughed, "but that's not your doing. If anything..."

"What?"

"The kinder thing for me to do would be to let you go."

"I...I..."

"I know you like me."

"I do."

"But more as a friend, right?" Yuya said gently. "I know you love him."

Kyousuke looked dejected, but didn't deny it. "Can a person love two people like that at once?"

"You can be confused and think you are. You can be like you, soft-hearted to the point of pain. But no, I don't think you can be in love with two people at once."

Kyousuke's lower lip trembled. Yuya gently took one of his hands and cradled it affectionately.

"I know we're mainly just keeping up appearances. Preparing everyone for our break-up."

"Are we?"

"I think so. We don't feel like a couple anymore, do we?"

They didn't. Kissing felt obligatory, even hugs were awkward when they lasted too long. The romantic and physical desire Yuya had awakened in Kyousuke was no longer felt. Not for him.

"I'm so sorry."

"Honey, you don't need to keep saying that. It's not like you plotted to get hurt or to fall for someone else. But if you need it, you're forgiven. You've been forgiven every moment, even the saddest."

The younger's eyes overflowed. "I never deserved you."

Yuya enfolded him in a gentle hug, winced with heartache to feel Kyousuke snuggling against him.

"You deserve to be happy. I wished you that before I knew I had a shot at you, and I wish it for you now. If I can't do that better than everyone else..."

"I really liked being with you."

Yuya smiled at the sentiment, wistuflly for the past tense of it. "At least I can claim credit for drawing you out of your shell. Dai-chan will always owe me."

"So...we're..."

"Breaking up? You want to, don't you?"

"That's the thing. I know we can't be together, but I don't want to break up with you. I'm horrible."

"You're not. You're kind."

Kyousuke drew back a little and sniffled. "You'll have to break up with me."

"And I will. But not right now." I'm not ready. "I don't want to upset you or distract anyone today."

He's so sweet. I wish I could have loved him. I'm basically cheating on him and he's still protecting me. I do love you, Yuya. Just not like you wanted.

"Are you nervous?" Kyousuke asked quietly.

"Yeah. You?"

"Uh-huh."

"It's normal, especially your first time." Yuya immediately regretted his choice of words, and hastily went on. "Once you're out on the stage, you'll feel this strange, elated calm. You'll probably be anxious a little before every performance, but not as much as you are now."

"I'm so scared I'll mess up and let everyone down."

"You won't. You haven't forgotten any lines, your voice is stronger, and you haven't missed a step since you stopped falling during the spins. Just don't skip any meals, even if you feel too anxious to eat. Okay?"

Kyousuke sniffled a soft laugh. "I have to eat more? You forced a huge breakfast on me this morning. All those pancakes..."

"Necessary carbs. You need to eat bread or pasta at lunch too."

"You will too, right?"

"Buchou's made it an order for all of us. You didh't hear him?"

"I guess my mind was far away."

"Far away feeling sad, I'm guessing."

Or happily thinking of Dai-chan. But that's sad too.

"Do me a favor, MaoMao. Tell me honestly what you're thinking right now."

"That I'm crazy. Dai-chan and I can't be together legally. If Sensei found out, he'd probably fire us, and my family...my brother especially. I couldn't even tell him about you."

"You're worried you'll get Buchou in trouble?"

"Mmm."

"It'll work out somehow. Take one day at a time. After all, you're not even together yet."

"If he does want to be with me, he could be - I'm sorry, I shouldn't be - "

"Of course you should," Yuya said firmly. "I may be your soon-to-be ex, but we'll always be friends. Right?"

Kyousuke gave him a teary smile. "If you really want to be."

Yuya sighed with fake exasperation. "I hope Buchou knows we need to work on your self-esteem."

"Can you be friends with him too?" Have I ruined that?

"I think so. I need to keep an eye on him anyway, to make sure he takes good care of you." Yuya gently stroked the tear off the teenager's cheek. "Hold my hand on the way back."

Kyousuke obliged as they headed toward the door. "To keep up appearances?"

"Yep." No. Because I will miss touching you more than you can imagine.

daimaodaimao

"How long is this pity party gonna last, Maki?"

Makita tore off the Seigaku jacket he'd been shrugging out of and glared at his former best friend.

"Take off that mask already. We're alone and I know you're not sick."

"I am. I'm sick over what we did."

Ogasawara rolled his eyes. "Don't be so fucking emo. It's over now, deal with it. Be grateful he doesn't remember it was us. We don't need to threaten or scare him into keeping quiet."

Makita looked incredulous. "You really feel no remorse at all."

"For what? Come on. It was hardly a painful first time. MaoMao would have been hurt a lot worse if it had been some stagehand dragging him into a closet. Now he's got Buchou keeping two eyes on him, which sucks for me, but he's safe and you should be happy."

"I'll never be happy again."

"Poor you. You better not even think about telling."

"How could I? I'm as culpable as you."

"Yeah, you are. Keep that in mind."

"I won't tell, okay? But you have to give me your word."

"My word what?"

Makita looked pained. "That you won't really give MaoMao to that monster."

"You mean the man who made us rich and who loves the kid enough to want to spoil him for life?"

"Love? You call what he did love?" Exasperated, Makita roughly pushed hair out of his face. "And anyway, a guy like that would lose interest when MaoMao gets older and probably kill him."

"You're not tempted by all that money?"

"Oga, I already don't think I can live a normal life after what we did. If I had to make it through years of knowing MaoMao was being daily raped, I'd kill myself, definitely."

"What a noble samurai," Ogasawara mocked with a sneer. "Why did you go along with this in the first place, then?"

"I wish I knew," Makita said quietly. "I thought it would be hot to watch, that it would be like any porno. I was an idiot and worse. I can still hear him crying."

"What if I told you Haneda promised to send us videos?"

Makita covered his face with his hands.

"So I'm the only jerk here and you've got the moral high ground."

"I told you, it was my fault too."

"Swear you won't tell."

"I won't tell...if you swear you won't give MaoMao to that man."

"God, Maki." Ogasawara shook his head. "Fine. I swear."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted."

"MaoMao is fine now, you know. He doesn't even seem to remember because of all the drugs he was given."

"He could remember any time," Makita argued. "He probably does recall at least some of it. He was sick the next day and Buchou and Yuya haven't left him unattended for a millisecond since. Buchou's even rooming with him now."

"Yeah, because he wants to fuck him like everybody else. MaoMao and Yuya are gonna announce they're over any time now. You'll see, MaoMao and Buchou will be an item, and if anything, we helped that happen."

"You seriously think anything good can come out of what we did?"

"My bank account would say yes. And you, you helped your parents with their mortgage, didn't you? I can get the Mustang I've wanted forever. And MaoMao now has himself a more-loving-than-ever secret boyfriend. No harm, no foul. The opposite of harm, really."

"I'll hear his screams forever," Makita murmured. When Ogasawara said nothing in response, he left the room without another word.

daimaodaimaodaimao

The day, a blurry mix of hectic last-minute prep and mandatory rest periods, went by too fast for anyone's liking. Shogo had, in his excitement, gotten past his fear and was dashing around with inexhaustible energy, encouraging everyone and predicting opening night, which was sold out, would be a huge success. Daisuke's confidence was quieter as he gave time to each team member, praising their hard work and assuring them they would do well.

Makita, though still seemingly distracted, seemed to be getting back to his old self. He even managed to choke out a few words to Ogasawara, though it was plain to all that they'd had a falling-out.

Kyousuke continued to put on a brave face, buoyed by the constant reassurance and affection of his guardians. He and Yuya almost looked like a happy couple leaning against each other at lunch, and he was often found sitting on Daisuke's lap in the Seigaku's main dressing room.

"You'll be great, kid," the captain assured him as the boy was getting his eyeshadow touched up. "You were good when we started and you've moved miles ahead since then."

"Do you think I'll ever sing as well as you?"

Daisuke stroked his hair, somehow still soft even with product in it. "You have a lovely voice. I've just had more practice. Your voice is getting stronger all the time and will keep doing so."

"I wish I had your skin, honey," Hana, the makeup artist, cooed. "Even barefaced, you glow."

"Yes, he does," Daisuke agreed, squeezing him around the waist. "I guess cuteness can be luminescent if it's strong enough."

"He is adorable."

"Am not," Kyousuke grumbled.

"Are," Hana sang as she moved on to Yuuta.

"You know, baby, denying it makes you even cuter."

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Can I call you mind-bogglingly beautiful?" Daisuke said very softly into the teenager's ear.

Kyousuke shifted at the ticklish warmth on his face. "I wish I could kiss you," he whispered.

"Me too. If you have any energy after the show, I'll pleasure you into exhaustion."

"I want to do everything with you, Dai-chan."

"When you're older. When you're ready."

"Watanabe-san?" one of the choreographers called from the doorway.

"Be back when I can, Mao-kun."

Left alone, thinking about the run of the show made the boy think of it ending. When would he see Daisuke again? What if they couldn't see each other regularly? What would happen to this new relationship they had to keep secret?

Tomo came over, with a kinder expression than usual. "Why so pensive, baby?"

"Um, nervous, I guess."

Tomo sat down and pulled his chair uncomfortably close. "You can be honest. It's something to do with the dreamboat captain who's fallen hard for you, isn't it?"

The words came like magma bubbling to the surface. "What if I never see him again? The thought of that makes me want to start crying and never stop."

"MaoMao, I'm not asking you to tell me anything. But I know you've been having a hard time lately."

"...yeah."

"And being with Dai-chan is what helps?"

"Yes."

"It's simple. He's auditioning for the next 'Takumi-kun' movie."

"I heard."

"So...you audition for it too. Take up my old part. You guys have such chemistry, you'd be great."

"You mean...for Takumi?" Kyousuke looked flustered. "Be...be touched like that and everyone see it?"

"Be touched by Dai-chan. Would that be so bad?"

"No." Kyousuke blushed to hear himself answer so quickly. "B-But it's a BL, my parents wouldn't let me."

"It's pretty tame, from what I've heard. Your parents trust Dai-chan with you and like him."

"Maybe, but my brother..."

"You want to hold onto Dai-chan, don't you?" Tomo smiled knowingly, pat the kid's shoulder before walking away. "I'll have my agency give yours the info. Think about it."

A way to hold onto Dai-chan...

daimaodaimaodaimao

As the more experienced actors had promised the less, once they were out on stage, under the lights and facing the crowd, every step and swing and line they'd learned came fluidly back to them. The few mistakes made were minor and went unnoticed. The crowd loved the new Tenimyu cast and cheered the house down, necessitating three curtain calls of bowing and an opportunity to teach viewers the names of the actors.

When the Seigaku were finally hidden behind heavy curtains, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Shogo almost kissed Taka and had to be placated with a tight hug. Kyousuke breathed unsteadily for several moments, then collapsed. Yuya got to him first, and his alarm faded when he realized the boy was laughing.

"Yeah, baby, it's over and you were amazing. You okay?"

"Uh-huh. They liked us, didn't they?"

"You just gained a hell of a lot of fans, baby. Welcome to fame." And it will never be as easy as it is right now.

Kyousuke found the strength to hug Yuya back and kiss him on the cheek. Yuya surprised him by turning to capture the kid's mouth. It was nothing strange; as far as most of their observers knew, they were a couple, and it felt nice and loving, friendly in a way, close-mouthed, so Kyousuke allowed it. Perhaps as Yuya's way of thanking him for the intimacy, Kyousuke soon felt himself being passed to someone else.

It was no surprise to find himself in Daisuke's arms. Both knew they had to be careful, as they weren't alone, but Daisuke happily spun the boy around to hear his elated laugh. Kyousuke snuggled against his beloved's warm chest and inhaled his soothing and distinct cologne smell. "You did so well," Daisuke said, and the boy felt 20 feet tall. "I love you," he whispered back, and Daisuke skillfully hid his tears in a short improvised speech congratulating his team on a very successful premiere.

Masuda quickly appeared, bowing and babbling excitedly, with Ryokyou behind him smiling brightly and saying his faith in them had not been misplaced.

"All right, get changed and down to the cars. Late call tomorrow, so order some food, as expensive as you like, and get lots of sleep. And thank you again. You were all brilliant."

"You have him?" Yuya quietly asked Daisuke.

Daisuke stared at him a moment, overcome by the younger's selflessness. "Yes. Thank you, Yuya-kun."

Yuya reached out to stroke Kyousuke's arm. "See you in the morning, MaoMao. Get lots of rest."

Kyousuke surprised them both with a sudden movement, grabbing Yuya's hand and squeezing it. The boy turned his head out of Daisuke's shirt and clearly said, "Can we eat breakfast together? Please?"

"Come to my room as soon as you're ready. Tomo hates the smell of bacon and I need to get him back for short-sheeting my bed. Come...both of you."

With a smile, Daisuke playfully nudged Yuya's arm. "We'd be glad. Get some rest and we'll see you then. Around eight okay?"

"I'll be waiting."

Yuya briefly pet Kyousuke's mussed hair, murmured a last "Good night," and excused himself. Daisuke gently hoisted Kyousuke up a little, prepared to carry him, but the boy seemed to perk up and said he could walk. Daisuke kept an arm around his waist as they headed to one of the awaiting black cars. Normally-quiet Yuuta sat nearby and jovially sang his parts from the show. Daisuke joined in, but Kyousuke was content to listen, his head pressed to the man's chest to feel the vibration from the song.

Once in their room, Daisuke let Kyousuke shower first while he ordered food. Damp-haired and warmly relaxed, while Daisuke used the bathroom, the boy picked at some rice, soup, fish and vegetables, not really hungry but knowing he needed calories after burning so many while performing. As the boy expected, Daisuke was happy to see that he'd finished a plate, and wolfed down his own with alarming speed.

"How do you stay thin?" Kyousuke teased.

"It all goes to my brain and muscles."

"And vocal chords. Buchou...you were amazing. I was really moved."

Daisuke looked sincerely touched. "Thank you, baby. And I'm proud of you. I know you were scared, but you were meant to perform. Tonight proved that. You were fantastic."

Kyousuke, holding back tears and still frazzled from his apprehension, crawled into Daisuke's lap, seeking the comfort he always found there. Daisuke happily embraced him, gently petting the head resting on his shoulder. Neither said anything for several minutes, and eventually Kyousuke moved his face to begin kissing Daisuke's neck.

Without thinking, the elder murmured, "I shouldn't be doing this."

The boy stopped. "You...don't want to?"

"I want you," Daisuke reassured, locking arms around his waist. "I want to be touching you every second. I just worry. My age, people finding out, and this may not even be healthy for you yet."

"I won't tell anyone. Some people seem to know already, but they don't know we...you know."

Daisuke found the innocent boy's faint blush intoxicating. "I know, honey. But I keep thinking that maybe we're moving too fast for you."

"You're not pushing me. It's the other way around, if anything."

Daisuke smiled sadly. "How badly would your family kill me?"

"My parents would be okay once they got to know you. And Aniki doesn't want me to date anyone till I'm thirty, so he wouldn't approve of anyone."

"Shinnosuke-san has a right to worry. He said you don't notice how people look at you."

"I do...I just don't like to talk about it."

"What kind of things have happened? Will you tell me?"

Kyousuke burrowed into the protective hug. "Just grabs. Touches, or saying stuff."

"Men?"

"Yeah. On the subway mostly or in crowds...once at the dinner table. A colleague of my dad's...touched my leg."

Daisuke swallowed his fury. "You didn't say anything."

"He was Dad's friend."

"Mao-kun, I want you to tell me anything like that that happens from now on. Will you promise?"

Kyousuke answered with unexpected strength. "If you promise not to get yourself in trouble."

Can't do that. "Deal. And you still need to stay close to Yuya and I. Whoever did...they're still out there."

Kyousuke shivered, and Daisuke kissed his forehead. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Please...touch me?"

Encouragingly, Kyousuke moved to lie back on the bed. Daisuke slowly came to hover over him, watching closely for signs of fear. The beautiful kid was looking at him with trust, adoration, with need. Daisuke caught his lips gently, waiting several moments to breach the soft mouth with his tongue. He turned them onto their sides to more easily get both arms around the boy, and after a long kiss, he moved Kyousuke on top of him. The teenager laughed nervously, questioningly.

"Does this feel better?"

"Eh?"

"Being on top. Do you feel safe?"

Kyousuke considered. "Actually..."

"Yeah?"

"When you're above me, I feel...protected."

Daisuke obligingly switched their positions and mirrored the boy's relieved smile. The elder liked it this way too, feeling almost like he could guard Kyousuke from the dangerous world like this. He had always liked being dominant, and Kyousuke clearly was more the submissive type. Daisuke didn't want to give himself false hope, but it seemed a good sign. Even though he suspected Kyousuke may not be in love, but rather being infatuated with his current guardian, and it seemed a relationship with little chance of a future.

I don't want to think right now.

Daisuke slid his hands under Kyousuke's pajama top, stroking the sides just the way they both liked. The boy arched up to let the top be pushed up to his collar bone. Soft kisses were pressed all over his torso, faintly damp against the sweet-smelling skin. Daisuke relished every moan of pleasure until they turned needy, then went where the boy wanted him to go. The nipples seemed to expect him by now, firming up quickly in his mouth and fingers. The moans now had Daisuke hard in moments, but he wanted to focus on this body.

Kyousuke had slid his hand into Daisuke's hair, holding the head to one breast and then the other. He had shyly done some Googling and learned that some men, especially gay ones, had very sensitive, erogenous-zone nipples. It was a relief to know it wasn't just him, and it had reminded him that both Yuya and Daisuke seemed to like the practice too.

It felt amazing, always did, but soon Kyousuke found himself pulling Daisuke's head down to his crotch. The elder willingly tugged the pajama pants down and started to stroke.

"Baby? Why are you crying?"

"A-Am I? I'm fine."

Daisuke grabbed a tissue, intending to dab the amber-brown eyes dry. But as it approached in his hand, Kyousuke went suddenly pale and his expression became one of terror.

"No! Please, no more!"

"Mao-kun - "

"Don't drug me again please just let me go - "

Daisuke tossed the tissue away, sat up and pulled the now-flailing teenager onto his lap. "Ssh, ssh, it's me, you're safe."

The boy stilled quickly, but then began to cry. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. You had a flashback, right?"

"They k-kept...I couldn't move, I couldn't fight. I'm sorry."

"There was nothing you could have done, baby, except survive."

"I wanted you."

"I'm here."

"Just you."

Daisuke cuddled him until the trembling began to subside. Once he seemed calm, the elder looked at the boy's probably-uncomfortable erection. He knew it was a risk, but he slowly, deliberately closed his hand around it and began to pump. The aroused moans started up again, thank God, and the sight of the flushed angel climaxing made Daisuke so hard he thought he'd lose his mind.

Once Kyousuke finished spurting, Daisuke turned the boy on his lap to face him, legs kneeling around his hips and the elder's clothed erection pressing a bare bottom. Gods, how he wanted to be inside it, so he pretended he was and began to thrust. The intermittent pressure made Kyousuke clench, which squeezed his prostate.

"Mmm, yes," the younger groaned into Daisuke's shoulder.

Much as the elder wanted to spread the boy out and fuck him, this was enough for now. In his feverish mind, the heat of his pants was the hot insides of his lover, the boy's moans that of someone being satisfied by penetration. And Kyousuke was into it, no question, rubbing himself hard against the pulsing length.

"Unh, unh, unh..."

Daisuke came hard, thrusting against the slender and half-clothed form. When he was finished, he felt no urgent need to clean up, instead looking intently into Kyousuke's sleepy but pleased expression.

"Honey, I'm - "

"Don't say sorry. I...liked it."

"I wasn't too rough? And right after you..."

"You helped me, got my mind off it. I just wish..."

"What?"

Kyousuke shyly said it into Daisuke's ear. "You could be inside."

Gods, don't tempt me. "Not till you're older and ready."

"I think I'd be okay."

"We have time," Daisuk said, though uncertainly.

Kyousuke didn't feel sure either. Will I be able to hold onto you? How? And for how long?

To be continued.