Short story 9: One-sided.

Themes: Angst.

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Once, their eyes met in the midst of a world meeting. Her heart stopped beating as he smiled at her, but his features immediately hardened and his smile froze. She could only turn away before his voice resounded clearly through the micro.

"Addressing the problems among ASEAN countries, Thailand will maintain its independent principles, ensuring peace and stability in the region."

She said nothing while Myanmar glanced at her and frowned. Thailand stopped, gave the micro to his secretary and wrote on a small paper. She knew that one hour later, it would reach either China or America.

Throughout the following six months, all of his calls were blocked from her phone.

Once, when they left the conference room, she turned to him and said.

"I don't love you."

He replied nonchalantly, as if by reflex.

"Neither do I."

She knew he would say so. How matter how many times she asked, he would still give the same answer.

Spinning on her heels and walking away, she knew he would not follow her. When the door of the elevator shut, she tightened her hand on the handle and slammed her head against the mirror. The only explanation she provided to the building's administrator was that she slipped due to her tiredness. She ignored her private driver's concern when he stared at the blood flowing from her forehead.

Once, she dragged him to a corner hidden from view and kissed him. He disinterestedly threaded his hand into her hair and loosened his tie. As their foreheads touched, her teeth sank into his lips and drew blood. She retreated and licked the foul taste in her mouth before mumbling:

"Die."

His arms closed around her waist, lingering, pulling her closer. Another kiss. The golden shade of lantern flower in his eyes enveloped the firmament in her mind. She recalled the Yi Peng festival they had attended centuries ago in Chiang Mai, where they had kissed for the first time.

He had sworn never to develop feelings for her then.

Her throat clogged up. She never had the guts to let go.

Once, while pressing his lips against the crook of her flushing neck, he whispered.

"Sorry, but I don't see you that way."

She understood. She understood that. But the pain throughout her body did not. She held him tight, as if wanting to cover the black hole that was eating her up, as if wanting to seek the sunshine overflowing her heart the first time she met him, but her heart had been broken, scattered into one thousand pieces, stabbing her bones, stabbing her neck, stabbing her vessels, making blood spilling all over, drowning all of her illusions.

Tears did not leave her lids, but the muffled cries of the eighteen-year-old girl under the night sky and the glow of sky lanterns echoed in her head over and over.

Once, she woke up to the sight of his fiddling her hair in his bedroom. When she removed his hand, he smiled gently and said.

"If I had been born human, I would have fallen in love with you."

She stared at him, wondering if that thought was in his mind when he sneaked out of the room last night to call America. He cocked his head, seeming to read her thoughts, and continued.

"I want to have a family. With children. Taking care of them with you. Listening to 80s songs with you. Aging with you."

Her body froze. She propped herself up, trying not to let his words reach the bottom of her heart. His voice droned on while she put on her clothes and searched for her purse. All sounds blurred. She no longer wanted to hear.

She loved him. She loved him to the point of madness, loved him to the point of frenzy, loved him to the final of the sky, loved him to the ends of the earth. She had thought that even the small horizons could not deter their love. She was so wrong.

America or China had never been able to stand between them.

From the beginning, they had never been able to reach out to each other.

Their rights to love had lied in someone else's hands.

"I love you."

In the end, those three words never left his lips.

In the end, those three words never reached her ears.

The sentence had died in his heart, died before both of them could ever realize.