I am determined to have this story updated frequently so here is the next chapter.

I know it might not seem like it but I am almost done with this story.

Well, here's the next, really long chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or the Grinch.

Underground Holly "puzzled and puzzled 'til her puzzler was sore". "What could she want with him? Money? Power?" She shook her head. "I can't figure her out; she's insane if she thinks she can get away with this."

Somewhere above her a door slammed, disrupting her thoughts. Jolted into totally awareness she strained to hear what the muffled voices were saying. Her struggle was in vain as the short conversation died out. Then tapping of high-heels strutting down wooden stairs caused her tense up. The tapping drew closer until Holly could feel her captor warm breath over her face.

Then the rough cloth that had blinded her for the past day was ripped off of her face causing her to blink in the murky light that seeped in from a mildew covered window. Looming above her was Lili Frond, her face as eerie as a clown's painted cheer in a dark alley.

Holly stared hard at her; if looks could kill Lili would have been decapitated and burned on a stake.

"Now, now Captain," Lili spat, "is that any way to look at your gracious host?" The elf giggled, "No, I have better things to do rather than trade insults with you, especially since you can't even say anything against me. I'm going to tell you something now Holly. This way, many years later, when you are sitting alone with your cats you can think back on this day and understand what's happening."

Holly stared at the mental woman pacing in front of her. Lil stopped and walked toward Holly until she was staring directly into her eyes.

"Artemis is coming with me. Would you like to know why? It's not because he's saving you, it's because he loves me."

Holly gasped through her gag and tried to stop the tears that had suddenly surfaced in her eyes.

"No," Holly thought, "She's just lying to me, trying to get into my head."

"What Short? You don't believe me, you think I'm lying to you," Lili sneered, "You aren't the only elf to have a crush on a mudboy. I'm just much prettier than you so Artemis feels the same way towards me."

Lili watched as tears spilled down her prisoner's cheeks leaving trails through the layer of dirt she had gained throughout this ordeal. Her eyes were wide and Lili could almost see the turmoil taking place behind those mismatched eyes.

So focused were the woman that neither noticed the subdued tattoo of loafers on wood. The soft gasp however was audible enough to have Lil tear her eyes away from Holly's utter despair.

"Artemis! How did you get out of your handcuffs? How did you untie yourself? I tied you to the railing!" Lili shrieked as she spun around. As she turned one of her hands hit the side of Holly's face causing her gag to come out.

Artemis's vampire grin glowed in the gloomy basement, "I have a few suggestions about the next time you take someone hostage. One, make sure their handcuffs are actually locked. Two, check them for weapons, or in this case, a pocket knife."

Lili glowered across the room at him and then struggled to come up with an idea that would get her out of her current predicament. Artemis took the extra second to glance over at Holly.

Her red-rimmed eyes were wide and had bags under them. One side of her face was glowing slightly as her magic healed the bruise Lili had just given her. This lit up her soiled gown and sunken cheeks. Holly's mouth was slightly agape and she was staring at him as though he was the one who had taken her hostage.

"Holly?" Artemis questioning asked, "Are you alright?"

"Of course she alright, stupid," Lili sarcastically answered, "It's not like she was kidnapped only to find out that her "hero" loved the kidnapper. Now, Artemis dearest if we leave right now I won't kill the trash over there."

Artemis's mind whirled as he clenched his teeth, "Oh yes, of course," he thought. "A love triangle would make your fame all the more interesting," he declared out loud.

Holly's mind reeled and then her brief period of despair was replaced by a fierce anger. "You did all this for publicity!" she snarled.

Lili turned to stare at Holly. "Not just some publicity," Lili exclaimed, flabbergasted, "Lifelong fame. No one will forget the name Lili Frond after this. Now, Artemis, come with me now and I'll let Miss. Short go."

Artemis glared at Lili and then softened his expression as he looked over the blonde's shoulder at Holly. "I have a better idea," he told Lili. "How about you shut your trap."

Lili gasped, "What did you just say to me!"

"Honestly, I don't think I have ever met someone with a bigger mouth than you, oh wait, yes I have. Lili, I think it's time for you two to meet. Right about, NOW!" Artemis yelled.

Lili had time only to open her mouth, intent on screaming at the teenager, when the ground beneath her erupted in a blur of cobblestone teeth and scattered pebbles.

"Eek!" Lili screamed as Mulch swallowed her up to her chin, "What did you do to me! What is this?"

"This is Mulch, he'll be taking care of you while I get Holly out of here. Don't hesitate to ask if you want anything. I'm sure he would love to help such a despicable creature such as yourself," Artemis mocked.

Lili squeaked.

Then Mulch let out a horrendous belch sending the mostly paralyzed elf skidding across the room.

"Oh dear, Lili, hardened dwarf saliva does not look good on you," Artemis concernedly said.

"Don't you know, spit was so last century," Holly added as Artemis hurried over to her.

Mulch guffawed, "Yeah, you're ugly."

Lili started to cry.

Artemis waved at Mulch, "Okay, bring her to Police Plaza. I'm sure she wants her mug-shot to look good."

Mulch nodded his hairy head and swung the pale elf over his broad shoulder. Then he dove back down into the hole he had come from.

Artemis groped in his pocket while Holly looked at him.

"Artemis, I don't think a pocket knife can cut metal," Holly said quietly.

Then Artemis pulled out a pocket knife that wouldn't look out of place in 3013. He flicked a switch and cut the chains holding Holly down with a laser beam. Holly slowly sat up and swung her legs over the side of the table while Artemis looked on nervously.

"I may have added a few things to this one," he hesitantly bragged.

Holly looked at him for a moment in silence before flinging her arms around him. Artemis hugged her back tightly. Both of them savored the quiet comfort the other one offered.

Then Artemis leaned back and declared, "I don't know what is worse, the thought of you spending an entire day with that monster," Artemis paused, "or you thinking for one second that it was possible for me to love anyone besides you."

Holly absorbed what the mastermind had just said and opened her mouth to reply just as the door upstairs burst open. Artemis pulled back so that when Trouble, Grub, Foaly, and the other members of Holly's rescue squad skidded to a stop at the base of the stairs the two were just sitting next to one another.

"Holly!" Foaly exclaimed as he ran forward to hug his best friend.

The centaur's yell snapped the rest of the team into action. People swirled around Holly. Some asked questions, others offered blankets and soup. Artemis stayed by her side while she answered the questions quickly and stubbornly told the blanket and soup guy to get lost.

Finally Holly lost it and yelled, "I am going home! I was kidnapped, big whoop. Been there done that, no offense Arty. I am going home because you are annoying the heck out of me. I'll be back in tomorrow to answer any residual questions. Good night."

With that she stomped out of the basement intent on going home.

Fantastic news!

The last two chapters are already written so I will be able to post them super soon.

Wait, did I just say THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS?!

I did.

Please let me know how this last chapter was or tell me whatever you happen to think of.

Kellycat77- Thanks for the compliment and I am going to post the last two chapters as soon as possible. I can't believe my story's almost done!

Sarah- Thanks you, I hope this was soon enough.

Oh- I will post the next chapter this week. Thanks you for letting me know that you like my writing.

*greenpineapple*- *Okay, my friend was writing a review for this story and forgot to log out of my account. I did not write a review for my own story. The next review was the actual review from my friend.*

Keebler- Thanks you for complimenting my descriptions. I tried to make her as dumb as possible and I hope this chapter really showed how stupid and insane she was. Thank you for the review.