I tried to glimpse the expression on his face because he'd sounded so…bereaved. His back was to me. It was clear that he was beating himself up for something he had absolutely no control over. Like me, I didn't think he got a choice in becoming a telepath in the first place. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't control it either. I couldn't fathom the burden but I felt like I was one of the few people that could imagine the pain.

Telepathy was a curse. It left me unable to see beyond the things that people around never wanted me to know. It was a curse that had stolen everything, at least that was what it had been like for me. It didn't just steal my future but my present; it changed me and everything I felt about everyone around me.

Unlike me, I don't think Eric ever struggled with using telepathy for good reasons. In this instance he failed. I knew that feeling all too well. I knew that logic had no place in it. It wouldn't do anything but make the guilt that much more consuming. Having nothing else to offer I returned to my task and waited for him to continue the story.

"Looking back, it wasn't my telepathy alone that was to blame. I was naïve or at least my hopes of the future were. I believed that people who had been subjected to brutality would never seek to inflict it. I believed that the same people that came to our borders, battered, beaten, completely broken, and in despair would only have a desire to escape it. I believed that they would be better."

"They weren't."

"No. They were not. Many became worse than the monsters from whom they'd fled and we let them into our home and into our hearts. I let them in."

It was right there on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to comment on his obvious shock at being proven wrong. Why did he expect so much of people that he knew had been hurt so much? Didn't he know that at the root at the angriest and most hateful and vicious of people was pain? I knew that and I wasn't a vampire that could be decades or centuries old. I was going to ask the question but I didn't. It wasn't because I wasn't curious. It was because it was stupid to expose his lapse. I already knew why. He had hope.

"The worst part was that Pythia saw it."

Now I was confused and it must have showed on my face.

"She is a Psychic. These lands were built on my sword but its people grew from her breast. She warned me and I didn't want to believe her. Our city burned. Our people died because I chose hope over reason."

"That doesn't make it your fault." I told him.

To trust someone and then have them betray you didn't automatically make you party to their guilt. It just meant they didn't deserve the trust you gave them. I could have done so much for so many only if I'd just spoken up once or twice in my life. I hadn't because in my heart, I'd thought it was for the best and that was what Eric had done. At the end of the day that right there was all that mattered.

It was the most anyone could ask. It wasn't because it was always good enough but because that was all you had. That was how I knew that no matter how deep Eric dug, there wouldn't be anything else to find. All he would do was turn himself inside out in the process. It was clear that he had been doing just that. I wanted to stop him but I didn't know how. I didn't know him. I certainly couldn't see into his head and if I was being honest at the moment, it sucked, a lot.

"Hoping and believing in good doesn't make you guilty."

"I am the first and most powerful defender of these lands and I failed it. My failure brought about a civil war."

He had heard what I said but he wasn't listening to me. He was intent on beating a dead horse. I couldn't think of a single thing to say so I did what I should. I said nothing though it bothered me more than I thought it should.

"It was as if Hell had found us all over again. Blood and death and ash stained our streets. I can still hear the crackle of the flames and the screams. I still see their faces every time I close my eyes, the dead, the dying and their murderers."

It was then that he turned to face me and I wished to God that I could look away. He looked like the figure in the rain. Instead of fear I felt pity. He was in a place that no one could reach and it made me wonder how he had survived it all.

"The uprising was short lived and the insurgents were small in numbers but they did so much harm. In violating the sanctity of our home, they dealt a blow so devastating that, till this day we cannot forget. When it was over when the last our dead had been burned and buried, we swore; all thirteen of us that it would never happen again."

His voice was grave and fierce with the promise he'd made. His expression raised the hairs on the back of my neck. It was like the night out in the rain. Unlike that day, I wasn't scared. Rather I was drawn closer into the tale and his emotions. What had it been like for him, for all of them? I wasn't a vampire. I wasn't centuries old. I hadn't been born in war or knew danger like theirs. I would never know but when he spoke I couldn't help but listen.

"The whole world was in crisis. Chaos reigned. Vampires of all races, and even other supernatural beings as well as mortals were drawn in to the madness. We had to accept the hard truth. There was no way we could save everyone. So we washed our hands of the rest of the world and focused on Wildlings."

I was following everything he'd said so I knew something was missing. I counted in my head and I was still confused.

"I counted fourteen of you." I wondered. "Twelve Raven Elite, Pythia and Draco, right?"

He nodded. "After the Civil War, we turned to the people in search of a citizen that represented our new ideal; the one that put Wildlings first, second and always above all others even under the most difficult of circumstances. Draco answered the call. He wrote the Blood Laws and we as a people agreed to be bound by them."

I didn't get a vote but those laws were why I was here. They were why Eric couldn't just dub me a Wildling. Eric didn't say it but my presence here was proof. Powerful as he was, he wasn't above The Blood Laws either. He wouldn't have broken them to keep me. He would have continued to suffer the mental mayhem. He would have died.

I was annoyed that as punitive as this felt to me, it made sense so I didn't let myself dwell on it there were too many things that I didn't know. I needed to prioritize and categorize. My biggest worries had been assuaged or proven unwarranted. I had gone somewhere simpler and different and alien but not archaic. I've also stuffed myself silly on delicious food so I was no longer hungry. Most importantly it seemed as though Eric had every intention of sticking to our bargain. I decided that I could survive everything else, if only because I had to.

Now, seemed like an alright time to assuage my curiosity. After all it wasn't every day that I got to learn about a mythical world. I turned up to ask him about the Blood Laws and…I gasped and my train of thought scattered.

Eric was right beside me. The dishes were done and I hadn't noticed. I hadn't even heard him sidle up alongside me. Up close like this, the effects of his eyes on me were completely devastating. I sucked in a breath and not for the first time, my mind just seemed to go blank. Clarity didn't come; I was completely overcome by the scent of him. It was like being engulfed by cool crisp air with hints of Sandalwood and everything delicious.

"What were you thinking of just then?" he asked.

Against my weak will, my body leaned in closer to his. Had he smelled like this last night, or even earlier this morning? How had I not noticed? Enticing, seductive mouthwatering would be some of the adjectives I would use. I could lick him. The thought alone…caused my breathing to stop altogether.

"It made you smile," he stated.

All the while Eric's eyes were on my face. It was like he missed nothing but gave nothing away. Did he know? He couldn't. He couldn't read my mind. In the interest of being honest, I told him the truth.

"I was thinking about returning home."

He backed away and some of my sense returned. If not for the fact that I knew for sure I was immune to vampire mind control, I would have sworn he was making me react this way. I'd been attracted to men before but nothing explained why Eric was affecting me strongly. For crying out loud, I'd thought about licking him.

"I will require a few days to make arrangements for my absence, a week at most. Can you spare it?"

My first thought was that he was trying to stall. Before I knew it one week would turn into forever. Being a telepath meant that I often saw selfishness in people's minds that not even they knew was there. Somehow I had automatically put that beneath him. Why would he lie to me though? I was already here in his house, in some alternate universe. He didn't have to.

"Yes," I said.

It wasn't like it would be me much good to gripe about the money I was missing out on while on my impromptu vacation from work. It brought my mind to my poor helpless cat, Tina. She had run off once I'd landed here and I hadn't seen her since. Sure she was an outdoors cat but I didn't think even she would know what to do here.

"Do you think anyone has seen my cat?" I asked, Eric. "I brought her with me but she ran off a bit after we arrived.

He chuckled looking just as sexy as can be. "Yes, the children have her. She is safe in the Den with them."

It was the second time I heard mention of children. It seemed like the type of thing one should mention once they were married. For that matter why were his children in a den? Where was their mother? What number wife was I? Eric didn't give me a chance to answer. He was right back in my personal space holding his hand out to me and making it hard for me to breathe.

"I will show you the city, seeing Thalia is indisposed."

I took his hand forgetting about the jolt of awareness that his touch had sent through my body. It took everything I have not to yank my hand away when it hit me all over again. It would appear suspicious. His touch should be no big deal, they were big on touch here. I told myself that but as Eric lead me out of the house, the awareness of his touch became a tingle and I knew then that I'd made a mistake.

I'd thought I didn't have to be afraid of Eric. I was wrong. He was dangerous or rather his intoxicating appeal and my potent response was. I'd let my guard down just because my initial fears had been assuaged but it wouldn't happen again. I was here only as a means for him to save his sanity. He was nothing but my ticket out of the Wildlands.