"Thirty long years and it's all let up to this. My greatest achievement!" Stan pauses and looks down, "Probably should've worn pants." The machine spouts out some fire that hits Stan in the shoulder and he pats himself on his shoulder to get rid of the fire, "Feisty," He smiles, "I like it. "Flips switches, looks at readouts, "If I finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it." Stan sits down in his chair, "I just have to keep playing it cool; if anyone ever finds out about this..." He looks at a picture of Dipper and Mabel, "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?" He pulls on a six-fingered glove and pulls a switch labeled Max. Power, which powers up the machine, causing a power surge around town.
Stan's alarm clock wakes him up, he is still in the secret lab, "Oh right. Showtime."
"Welcome, to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" Stan smiled.
Tourists cheer for Stan.
Stan grinned, "We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Li'l Gideon!"
He grabs a Li'l Gideon doll. The tourists boo.
"Please, please... boo harder!" He gestures towards the doll.
Tourists boo louder.
"But I didn't catch that porkchop all alone. These two scamps deserve SOME of the glory," Stan playfully rubs Dipper's hat, before Mabel elbows Stan, "Okay, okay. Most of the glory."
Toby Determined holds up cinder block painted to look like a camera, "Smile for the camera!"
Stan sighed, "Your camera's a cinder block, Toby."
Toby looked down, "I just wanna be a part of things..."
"Smile for a REAL camera," Shandra sighed.
Mabel smiled, "Everybody say 'Something stupid'!"
Mabel, Stan and Dipper, Mabel pokes her fingers in her cheeks, Stan puts on some jazz hands, and Dipper pretends to choke himself, "Something stupid!"
"And don't forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight," Stan shows After-Party poster.
"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" She grabs a karaoke machine, "Light! Music! Enchantment!" She blows confetti out of her hand, "And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, Love Patrol Alpha!... and before you complain, it's too late! I wrote your names on the list! It's happening!"
Wendy blows an air horn, "Buy a ticket, people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives! I'm talking to you, Pizza Guy! Don't lame out on me!"
Tourists follow Wendy outside.
Stan sighs, "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet. Everything is finally going my way."
"Hey, Grunkle Stan. Now that we have a moment. I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back," Dipper admits.
"Wha? Journal?" He "searches" himself for the journal, pulling it from under the counter, "Oh!" He laughs, "You mean this old thing! It was so boring I couldn't even finish it."
"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that?" Dipper asked.
Stan grinned, "What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek?"
"I... I gotta go!" He takes Mabel and Will with him to the attic)
Soos smiled, "I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek."
"Not gonna happen."
Dipper locks the door, turns Mabel's stuffed animals around, pulls down the screen on the window and turns on his electric lamp.
Dipper sighs, "Mabel, Will, we've gotta talk. Almost losing my journal made me realize that I'm halfway through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal. But why?" He starts pacing up and down the room, "Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said "everything was going to change"? There's something HUGE going on right under our noses. And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it."
Will bit his lip, "Dipper... you shouldn't be hurrying this..."
"What exactly do you know about it, Will?" Dipper asked.
Mabel sighed, "Bro, you looked at that thing like, a bazillion times. There's nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?"
"Nothing. It... doesn't matter what I know..." Will looked down.
Dipper sighed, "They're blank, but... still... it's really odd... it's kind of annoying me."
"Let me see it," Will sighed.
Dipper gave him the book, and they both sat down next to Will, so they could see where he was going. He stopped on the first blank page, before turning to a different page, and continuously flipping pages, clearly avoid that page for him, before he just closed it all together.
A car parks in the Mystery Shack parking lot. Two men step out of the car and look at the Shack.
"Hey, Mr. Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?" Soos asked.
"Wait, what?" Stan goes near Soos and looks outside the window too, "Government vehicle?"
A "U.S. Government" vehicle arrives near the Mystery Shack, a "USEXEMPT" is on the vehicle's number-plate, and a sticker that says "Honk If You Want To Be Arrested" is on the back of the car. Stan, with a scared look on his face, quickly closes the window, goes to the Mystery Shack's intercom and screams into it.
Stan, from the Mystery Shack's speaker, "The Mystery Shack is now closed, everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
Mabel and Dipper run to Stan while all the customers are leaving the gift shop.
Mabel frowned, "Grunkle Stan, what's happening?"
"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop," Dipper added.
Stan is walking nervously in the gift shop, a door bell ring is heard and a few knocks after it. Will looks over at the door.
Stan opens the door with a big smile, "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you?" Stan takes out a snow globe and an U.F.O key chain of his jacket, "Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" Stan pulls a five dollar bill out of his sleeve as he begins to sweat.
Two men are shown standing in the doorway in front of Stan, showing their government I.D. cards.
"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger, we're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town," One of the men explain.
Trigger points at Stan, "Activity!"
Stan laughed, "Mysterious activity? In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!"
"I assure you I'm not. I was born with a rare disorder that made me physically incapable of experiencing humor. I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us we are conducting an investigation," Powers walks past him, as both men enter the Mystery Shack.
Trigger pokes Stan menacingly, "Investigation!"
Will stares at both of the men, before he runs upstairs.
"Wait! Wait, did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?" Dipper asked.
"That information is classified," Powers kneels down, "but yes. Look. Between you and me I believe there is an conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid of this entire mystery."
Dipper smiled, "Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!"
Powers checks Agent Trigger, "If you have evidence of these claim," He gives Dipper his card, "we should talk."
"We could talk right now! Please please. C-Come in! I have so much to show you!" Dipper smiled.
Stan laughed, "Hehe, I'm sorry agents. The kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem. Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets you know?"
"We have other spots to investigate. We'll be on our way," Powers leaves.
Trigger takes ten Stan bobbleheads, "I'm confiscating this for evidence."
Dipper runs, "Wait! No, wait! We got so much to talk about!"
Stan stops Dipper, "Hold it kiddo. Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party, is cops." He closes the vending machine, "I'm confiscating that card." He takes the card from Dipper, "Now how's about you being a normal kid. Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a window sill." He puts the card in "Contraband Box" and walks into the living room.
Dipper frowned, "But Grunkle Stan! You don't understand!"
"And don't go talking to those agents," Stan warned.
Dipper sighed, "Ugh! That could've been my big break!"
Mabel takes the journal, "Bro, maybe Grunkle Stan is right. We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"
"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents my book!" Dipper shouted.
Mabel smiled, "Trust me Dipper, the only book you'll need tonight is right here: Boop!" She shows him her "Karaoke Songs" book.
"The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents. Wendy, Dipper. How are those posters coming along?" Stan looks at where Dipper and Wendy were, notices they're gone, and frowns, "Hmm."
A piece of wood nailed to the door reads "STAN'S ROOM." A sign hanging on a nail below it reads "NO MINORS ALLOWED." A picture of Dipper with a cross through it and "THAT MEANS YOU!" written on it is pinned to the door. A "Do not disturb" sign is on the doorknob.
Wendy I'll keep an eye out for Stan. You go rustle through his weird old man biz.
Dipper opens the door and walks into Stan's room, "Alright, Grunkle Stan. Where did you hide that card?" He ends up in front of a portrait of Stan, "Wait a minute..." He moves the portrait to reveal a secret compartment with a box labelled "Contraband" in it, "Haha, yes!" He takes the box out and pulls out Agent Powers' card, "I got it!" He picks up the phone and dials the number on the card.
Powers, through phone, "Agent Powers."
"Hi, this is Dipper. Th-The kid from the Mystery Shack. The one with the, um, "sweating problem." I have that journal I wanted to show you!" Dipper grinned.
Powers, through phone, "And you're certain this "journal" will help our case?"
"I'm a hundred percent positive," Dipper nodded.
Powers, through phone, "Very well. We're on our way."
Stan appears and presses a button to end the phone call.
Dipper gasps.
"Sorry, Dipper." Wendy apologizes, showing her phone with the picture of shirtless Thompson on it, "I got distracted."
"Kid, why did you call those agents? I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times!" Stan grabs the phone from Dipper, "There's nothing "supernatural" going on in Gravity Falls." He hands up the phone.
Will just stares at them from the door way, biting the inside of his bottom lip.
"Yes, there is! After everything that's happened you have to know that by now!" Dipper argued.
Stan sighed, "All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, 'cause when it's over – you're grounded!"
Dipper and Wendy walk away. Dipper looks at Stan angrily. Stan sighs, before entering the code, goes inside it, then checks to see if anyone is watching before closing it behind him.
Dipper walks past Will, who lightly grabs his arm, pulling him aside.
"Will? Are you okay? Why isn't Stan believing me? There's surpernatural stuff going on in town! What happened a few weeks ago with Bill is proof of that! Why won't he believe me?" Dipper asked.
Will looked down, "I'm fine... you don't have to worry about me... Maybe he just doesn't want you getting in too deep... something... bad might happen if you did..."
"Like what?" Dipper asked.
Will stared at him, "There will be a day where everything in your life will change. That's clearly a warning, even though... I'm not sure how much of it..."
"Why do you care about that? When do you think that'll happen?" Dipper asked.
Will sighed, "Remember when your sister said she had a good feeling about this summer?"
"Yeah... why?" Dipper asked.
Will looked down, "Well... I have a bad feeling about this summer..."
"Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together we can crack all of the big questions of Gravity Falls!" Agents look at each other, "Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for." Dipper gives the book to Agents, they start reading, "I'm thinking full scale investigation. Forensics, researchers. Do you guys have a helicopter?" He laughed," I'm sorry, "helicopters"."
"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop." Powers points backwards, "I mean, Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny."
"I can confirm." Trigger shakes his head, "Not funny."
Dipper starts panicking, "No, no, no! It's real, I swear! You should "send it to the lab." Am I saying that right?"
Powers hands Dipper back the journal, "Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours. We've got paperwork to do, kid."
"Boring. Paperwork." Trigger grumbled.
"WAIT! This book is real." Dipper starts flipping through pages, "Gnomes, cursed objects, spells! LISTEN! Uh, uh, Cor-" "-Don't," Will growls, covering Dipper's mouth.
Both the agents stare at him.
"Who are you?" Powers asked.
Will looked up at him, "My name is Will. I work at the Mystery Shack. Trust me, everything here is absolutely boring and that book is extremely fake. Nothing in it makes sense, does it?"
"Of course not. Anyhow, that is all, so we will go now," Trigger announces, before they both leave.
Once the agents are out of hearing range, Will stops covering Dipper's mouth.
Dipper frowned, "Why'd you do that?"
"Think about it, Dipper... what do you think would happen to me if they knew what I really was?" Will asked.
Dipper bit his lip, "They'd... probably experiment on, and hurt, you..."
"Exactly. That's the ONLY reason I did anything. I absolutely hate pain, unlike my nutcase of a twin, who loves it," Will shakes his head, "but that doesn't matter at the moment."
Dipper frowned, "You have a twin?"
"... I can explain later... and I... I kind of want to make a deal out of it, too... it's not going to bad. Just... kind of simple. I could tell you the full details right now, if you want..." Will admits.
Dipper looked down, "No, you can do that in front of all of us. What would that spell have done?"
"If I hadn't done anything? You'd summoned a bunch of zombies, and you'd have to go with your twin's karaoke plan... since only a three part harmony could shatter their skulls," Will sighed.
Dipper nodded, "Well... we should go to the shack."
"I know..."
Stan puts on his fez, after Will tells that what could've happened, had he not stopped Dipper.
Dipper frowned, "I'm sorry about this, guys. I almost ruined everything."
"It's fine, Dipper. Nothing happened," Mabel laughed.
Stan sighed, "Kids, listen. This town is crazy. I'm sure you know that already. So you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold on to that spooky journal, as long as you promise me you'll only use it for self-defense, and not go looking for trouble... and Will..."
Dipper nodded, "Okay, as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town."
Stan crosses his fingers behind his back, "Promise."
Dipper nodded, "Promise." He crosses his fingers behind his back.
Will looks at Stan, "What is it?"
"... never mind." Stan sighed.
Later that night...
Dipper smiled, "I can't believe it! All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight!" He pulls out a portable black light and shines it on the journal, "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore..."
Will just watches him from the door, "I really hope he doesn't get to him... I don't want them to know..."
Agents Powers and Trigger climbs out of a ditch.
"That was insane! I've never seen anything like it! Who do we report to?" Trigger asked.
Powers sighed, "This is bigger than we imagined. We need to bring in the big guns."
"But they'll never believe us!" Trigger shouted.
Powers looked at him, "Then we'll make them believe us. This is the town we've been searching for."