I've received some really, very nice reviews and some great messages after the last chapter and I really appreciate them! I'm too excited for the next part, so I'm posting today.

Happy weekend!

2014, Derek

I pace for about 15 million hours after Meredith leaves. I don't even know what to do, so I pace and pace and pace and pace, until I realize I have to pick up dessert somewhere. I climb into my truck and force myself not to drive past Meredith's house in case she's home with Caroline. I don't want the first time I see my daughter to be in passing.

Luckily, unlike the movie theater, and tire place, and diner, Hailey's Cakes is still open and going strong. Hailey's us just a few doors down from my father's store front, but I park as far away as possible. I walk into the shop and everything smells of sugar. It's mouthwatering.

"Hi there," a young woman asks behind the counter. "What can I get you?"

She's wearing the same hat Lizzie used to wear when she worked here back in high school. It makes me smile. "I need dessert for dinner tonight." The girl turns to one of the cases which has cupcakes and cookies and brownies and other confections. She points out the cupcakes, specifically the black and white ones, which I remember Meredith loving. "I'll take six black and white cupcakes."

When I get back home, I have almost three hours before I'm supposed to show up. I think about calling my mom, since I haven't spoken to her since I moved back home, but too much is up in the air. I know she'd hear the concern in my voice and she'd pry. She'd know I was anxious just by hearing me and until I meet Caroline, I can't speak to her. Instead, I clean Mark's filthy house.

For the past few months, it seems like Mark hasn't done any sort of housekeeping. I'm not a stickler, but I do like to keep things pretty neat. I'm not touching his room, but the kitchen and living room are littered with takeout boxes, old newspapers, cans, wrappers, mail, and other junk. I work on the living room first, pushing anything that doesn't look important into a big black bag. Afterwards, I dust and vacuum and even open up some windows to air the place out. It hasn't gotten hot yet, but once it does we'll be living on air conditioning. I move to the kitchen next, which needs an incredible scrub. I spend an hour around the sink alone, washing pots and pans, cleaning countertops, and cursing my best friend for being a slob.

By 5:15, I'm sweaty and gross, so I head upstairs to shower. I try not to think about Meredith, especially when I'm naked, but it's more difficult than I thought. I dress in a white button-up and a pair of jeans. I grab the cupcakes at 10 to six and begin walking. I need to walk, because if I drive, I probably would crash the car.

Meredith's house is an ominous sight in the distance. I'm so incredible nervous. I swallow thickly and wet my lips. I promise myself I won't throw up. I walk down the yard and for the first time, I notice the toys in the backyard. A little girl's pink bike and helmet, a plastic slide, baskets full of Barbies and stuffed animals. The play area I loved as a child has buckets and pails. I wonder if Meredith takes Caroline to play there.

I reach the front door and I hear voices inside. Meredith and Lexie sound similar, so I can't tell who it is. But then I hear a little girl's voice—high-pitched and excited. She's chatting loudly and everything inside me shifts. The world is knocked out from under me because even though I've never seen her or spoken to her before, I know my daughter's voice. I close my eyes and listen, not even trying to find the words she's saying. She must be jumping or something because she's winded. She laughs and my heart crashes against my ribs.

I never, ever thought another girl's voice could get to me like Meredith's, but listening to her has me practically crying. I'm now officially late, but I can't move. Her voice quiets and a door shuts. I'm breathless and emotional. I take a deep breath and push the worry aside. I can't wait another moment.

I knock on the door and take a step back. I wonder if she'll hug me or is she too shy? Maybe she'll wave from afar. Or maybe she'll hide behind her mother's legs. I don't even wish for anything because if it doesn't happen, I'll be severely disappointed. The door opens and Meredith stands on the other side. I look past her, but she's alone. "Hi Derek," she greets and she looks better than she did earlier. Her hair is down over her shoulders and she's wearing a blue dress that looks beautiful on her. My heart is drumming for a completely different reason.

"Hi Meredith." Five days ago, I never would've imagined I'd be talking to Meredith as I stood on her porch. I hold the box out to her. She opens the lid and smiles slowly. "I remember you liked them."

"I do." She holds the box close to her. "Caroline and Lexie are in the backyard. She knows you're coming over and she knows who you are."

I nod and fist my hands. "Is she, I mean, is she excited or nervous or…"

Meredith smiles. "She's excited. She told all the kids today during dance class that her daddy is coming over." I can feel myself smile big and wide, so unlike the half-smiles I've been sporting for years. "She might be shy, though. Don't be surprised if it takes her a little bit. She talks a big show, but she's quiet around strangers."

I try not to let the word strangers hurt me too bad. "I don't expect anything of her," I admit. "She's young and she doesn't know me. I just want to know her."

"Come on then."

I reach out to stop Meredith, placing my hand on her shoulder for just one second before dropping it. "Meredith, before I meet Caroline, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. The last few days have been...eye opening and strange and hard for me, but I know none of that compares to your life these last five years. I've been angry, and I've directed that anger to you, to Mark, but neither of you deserve it. Everything that happened, leaving, not talking to you, asking my family and friends not to talk to you," I sigh and look away. "I was stupid and horrible and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I do want you to know how very sorry I am. If I could change the past and my actions, I would."

"I know that," she says. "And what you did was horrible, but I'm okay. I have Caroline and you'll see that she makes things...better."

I'm not sure I'm done apologizing, but Meredith turns to walk towards the back of the house and I follow.

We walk through the house and everything is familiar except for the signs of a child: toys here and there, a blanket with stars on it over the back of the couch, children's cereal on the countertop in the kitchen. Meredith sets the cupcakes down and glances at me. Caroline screeches in the backyard. I walk around Meredith because I want to see her. Meredith steps to the side and lets me go. I walk up to the back door and standing beside Lexie, with her hands up in the air as she twirls, is a little girl who looks so much like Meredith.

Caroline stops twirling and stares at Lexie. She says something, but I can't hear it. Caroline has Meredith's golden hair and it falls almost halfway down her back. I'm too far away to see her eyes, but Meredith said they're like mine. But her smile, oh I can see her smile. She shows all her pearly white teeth as she grins, laughing again and jumping up to grab something in Lexie's hand. Caroline's smile is extraordinary. Light shines from her. She is the sun.

She's dressed in black leggings beneath a poofy purple skirt and a white tee shirt with some kind of character on it. Each time she jumps, or twirls, or moves, her skirt shuffles from side to side. Her skin is like Meredith's, fair and freckled. Her hands are so small, but her fingers are long like mine. I can see her nails are painted yellow. She runs her fingers through her hair and begins to run. She runs and runs, her feet barely touching the ground. She flies. Lexie catches her, wrestling her in her arms.

I don't choke down the cry fast enough and the noise ricochets through the kitchen. Meredith comes up to stand next to me. Her eyes are on my face.

"She looks like you," I manage.

Meredith smiles. "And you."

"We made her?" I ask.

She reaches out and touches my arm and I swear to god my life slides out from under me. I can see everything like I'm watching a movie: the first kiss beneath the stars, the first time I told her I loved her, the first time we made love on the bank of our river, all the laughter, all the late night texts, all the family picnics, all the adventures we took with Mark and Lexie, all the times we laid beneath the sun and pledged our lives to one another. And from all that comes the most perfect child to have even existed. Meredith touches me and the world open its jaws and swallows me whole.

Meredith's fingers tighten on my arm. I wonder if she feels it. "We did," she confirms. "Are you ready to meet her?"

I nod, but I can feel my own restraint. Meredith walks out first. Lexie stares up at the back door, waiting for me, and her face falls. Meredith says something and she brightens. I watch Meredith lean down to pick Caroline up, holding the little girl in her arms. She says something and Caroline's eyes stare at the back door. Meredith looks up.

I step outside and three Grey women stare at me. They all look alike. Lexie crosses the yard. "I know its not about me today, but I'm happy you're back," she says and pulls me into a hug. I squeeze Lexie before stepping back. "Caroline is excited."

"I'm nervous," I admit.

Lexie smiles. "So is she." But I know she's not talking about Caroline.

Lexie steps aside and I walk slowly towards Meredith and Caroline. As I get closer, I focus on her eyes, which are brilliant blue and look like a mirror to me. The breath in my lungs leaks out with a gasp, but I keep walking. As I step before them, I don't know what to do. I want to hug them both. I want to cry. I want to scream. Caroline reaches out, though, with her little hand, before I can do anything else, and touches my hand. I look at Meredith for a moment and her mouth is open. "Hi," Caroline says and her voice is more perfect than I could ever imagine.

"Hi," I whisper back.

"Do you like tennis?" she asks.

I laugh and I know I'm crying, but I can't stop either emotion. "I do, but I'm not very good."

"I could teach you," she offers.

I nod slowly. "I'd like that."

Caroline wiggles in her mom's arms. "Mama, let me down. I want to teach him to play tennis with me." Meredith sets Caroline down in the grass and she takes my hand. "Come on!" she runs forward and I run after her, headed towards the driveway. When I look back, Meredith's back is to me, but I can see she's shivering. Lexie is smiling, holding her sister.

When Caroline and I reach the driveway, she hands me a pink tennis racket which is made for children. "You have to be closer to the street because Grandpa won't let me go out there."

"Your Grandpa is right."

I can't even think. I can't process anything that is happening. She's so young, but so mature. She grabs the other racket and two tennis balls. She bounces one of the balls and steps to the other side of the net. Lexie and Meredith round the house and stand watching us, watching her. She bounces the ball again. "I'll go first," Caroline announces and throws the ball into the air before hitting it my way. I hit it back, but it barely clears the one-foot-tall children's net. "You gotta hit stronger and higher." She shows me with her racket. "Like that."

"Okay," I nod.

Caroline hits another ball my way and I hit it back. It lands a foot in front of her with a decent bounce. "That's good. Let's try another."

"Caroline?" Meredith asks and walks across the driveway. She drops before our daughter and brushes her blond hair from her face. "Do you remember what we talked about? Who he is?" Meredith looks at me.

Caroline nods, "He's my dad," she says as if the words don't hold the weight of the world on them.

"That's right. He's never met you. Can you stand still for a second so he can meet you properly?"

"Okay Mama."

Meredith stands and nods me over. I walk around the tennis net and stop right beside Meredith. Caroline looks up at me. I drop to my knees in front of her, eye level. Her eyes are so wide with curiosity. She reaches out and touches my nose. "Crooked," she says.

I smile and laugh. "I broke it. I fell from a tree."

"Mama won't let me climb trees."

"Your mama is a smart woman."

Caroline's eyes glide all across my face. "What's your favorite color?"

I swallow, still not able to believe she's mine. "Blue. Indigo blue."

"What's indigo blue?" she asks.

I look around and try to find something that's indigo. The sky is too bright and the sand pail next to the steps is too dark. "Oh, I know," I say and reach into my wallet. I pull out the picture of me and my dad when I was 15. I hold the picture out to Caroline. "My shirt is indigo blue."

Caroline wraps her hands around the picture and takes it from me. "Who is he?"

"My dad," I say softly.

"Is he here, too?"

I shake my head slowly and offer her a small smile. "No, he's not here anymore."

Caroline keeps the photo in her hands. "Can I have it?"

"Of course."

"Can we play tennis now?" her eyes are on her mother.

"Sure baby," she whispers.

I stand up and watch Caroline take the photo and hand it to Meredith, who slips it into her pocket. I go back to my side and watch Caroline set up again. She acts so seriously with the racket in her hands. She hits the ball with a child's gait, but it lofts high. I hit it back. We practice again and again. She gives me instructions, but doesn't say much else. She yells for "Aunt Lex" to grab the ball when it heads the wrong way and tells Meredith again and again to watch. "Mama, watch this one!" Meredith watches. Meredith never takes her eyes away from our daughter and me.

After we play for a half hour or so, Meredith tells Caroline to head inside for dinner. Lexie follows and Meredith and I stand on the driveway. I stare at the house even though I feel Meredith's eyes on me. She walks around the tennis net until she's right in front of me.

"I don't even know what to say."

I shake my head. "Me neither. I didn't think she'd even talk to me."

"She's chatty, which she gets from you."

I laugh. "She's amazing."

"I know." Meredith nods towards the house. "Come on, let's go eat."

Meredith, Lexie, Caroline, and I sit on the back deck and eat cheeseburgers. Caroline is too busy talking to eat and Meredith has to remind her again and again. Caroline talks about tennis a lot and trips her and Aunt Lex took to the grocery store to buy dinner. Caroline asks me questions: "Do you like pork chops?" (Caroline doesn't, I do.); "Do you know how to whistle?" (I do and Caroline tries but she mostly spits across the table.); "Can you juggle?" (I show her and she claps.) After dinner, Lexie and Meredith clean up while Caroline takes my hand in hers and drags me upstairs.

My mind flashes back to the summer before when Meredith and I would sneak up to her bedroom. Meredith was always laughing, always happy. Caroline blinks at me as I dawdle behind and pulls harder. "Come on!" Caroline's room is where Lexie's used to be. Her walls are painted a pale yellow and she has a big white bed in the middle of the room. Her toys are everywhere and I step on more than one Barbie as I make my way across the room. Caroline sits me down at her art table and hands me paper and some Crayons. She sits across from me and very quietly begins to color.

"I hear you like green," I say.

"Shh," Caroline brings her finger to her lips. "Coloring time is quiet time."

I watch her as she leans over her paper and begins to draw something large and purple which looks like a big blueberry. Her nose is practically pressed to the paper. She takes out a brown Crayon and colors vigorously. A floorboard in the hallway squeaks and Meredith leans against the door frame. I stare at her and she doesn't turn away. Caroline hums as she colors and the song is familiar. She smiles, too.

A little timer goes off and Caroline sets down her Crayon.

"Bedtime, baby," Meredith says quietly. "Go brush your teeth."

Caroline stands and slides the picture across the table. "It's you," she says and I see it. She's tried to put me in an indigo shirt. My hair is a messy flop of dark brown and my eyes are blue. She says nothing more and walks into the bathroom where the water begins running. I pick up the picture and place it into my lap.

Meredith walks in and busies herself with putting the Crayons away. "If you wanted that picture back—"

"She can have it."

"Okay." Meredith turns to look at me. I can't tell what she's feeling. For the first time ever, her eyes are too stormy to read. Everything about today paints her face. She looks relieved, but also terrified. I know that because I feel the same way.

Caroline comes back into the room with a bang, now wearing pajama pants with horses on it and a big tee shirt that I recognize as Lexie's. "The Little House," she says and climbs up into her bed.

"Okay sweetie, I'll—"

"No, you," she says and her eyes are on me.

I glance at Meredith and she nods. She pulls the book from the top of the pile. Meredith sits down on the edge of the bed while I sit beside Caroline. She scooches closer to see the pictures. I open the book and she holds the left side with her hand. Her nail polish is chipped. "Once upon a time there was a Little House out in the country," I begin. I read the entire story to Caroline and Meredith. I learn to flip the pages only when Caroline lets me. She likes to add stories about minor characters, like the sad horse, the bad train car, and the mean lady. She tells me very seriously about the city and the hills. She names the flowers. It takes forever to make it through even one page, but I don't care.

When we finish, Meredith walks to the other side of the bed, sits down and pets Caroline's hair. "Go to sleep now, love." She leans down and kisses Caroline's forehead. Meredith's eyes flutter closed.

I stand up and put the book back on the pile. I step back, allowing Meredith to reach for the light, but Caroline's voice stops her. "I need another kiss."

Meredith laughs quietly and walks towards the bed. "No. From Daddy."

Everything floods from me. Meredith's eyes cut to mine and I see it again—the fear, the excitement, the reservation. I know Meredith and I know she's afraid I'll leave again. But everything is so different now. I cross the room and reach down to touch Caroline's cheek. She's soft. When I lean in to kiss her forehead, she smells like honey and toothpaste. I kiss her and my eyes flutter closed.

I step away and make it to the door before Meredith turns off the light. "Sweet dreams, baby," she whispers and pulls the door practically shut.

Meredith faces me in the hallway. I don't even know what to say, so I say nothing. Meredith takes a deep breath. "Do you want a drink? I think my dad has some scotch and I need a drink."

I nod faster than I expected. "Yes, a drink would be good."

The first line of "The Little House" belongs to Virginia Lee Burton from her 1942 book.