Chapter 10

The roar of a Harley approaching filled the air as Michaela crossed the yard to get to her car. She smiled in spite of herself, knowing that it was Cloud Dancing on his motorcycle.

When they'd met three years ago, she had instantly been impressed by his strong personality. Although a professor of American history at the Colorado University, he had volunteered to give a lecture about Cheyenne medicine to a bunch of arrogant medics who thought it was a waste of time to hear about antiquated procedures. She, however, had thought it extremely interesting to learn about how the Indians practiced a holistic approach to medicine. She had felt honored when the medicine man had agreed to talk to her about how they used to make diagnoses without the use of any instruments in times gone by.

Although David and William had been there too, it was she and Cloud Dancing and who had talked most of the time. In the end, the Cheyenne had even agreed to guide them up Pike's Peak, and his wife, Snow Bird, had told her that he had never done that for strangers before. When they had parted a week later, Michaela was happy and proud that they could call each other friends.

When she had decided to stay in Colorado Springs for longer than she'd initially planned, the Indian couple had invited her several times to spend time at their home. She had accepted whenever she could and visited them. While she had simply informed Hank that William and David weren't coming, she had confided the real reason for their absence to Cloud Dancing and Snow Bird, knowing they wouldn't gossip about it. It felt good to have people like them around.

As the Cheyenne turned into the yard, Michaela's face lit up, seeing that Snow Bird was sitting on the pillion.

"How is the patient doing?" Cloud Dancing asked as soon as he had turned off the motor.

"I'd say his mood isn't the best," Michaela replied dryly, opening the trunk of her Toyota where the dog wagon was still waiting to be unloaded. It was a welcome addition that no one could see her expression this way.

The Indian chuckled. "A case of feeling cooped up?" he guessed.

This question made Michaela smile again.

"Good diagnosis," she acknowledged, straightening. "And to make things worse, I think I got a bit carried away in my attempt to help," she admitted feeling the familiar heat rising into her cheeks, "which he obviously doesn't appreciate at all."

As she looked embarrassedly down at her feet, Cloud Dancing regarded her thoughtfully. He knew the doctor well enough to know that she was playing things down, and he decided to have a little talk with his white brother.

"Don't worry, Dr. Mike," he said, touching her shoulder so she looked up at him, "Sully will come around."

"Oh, I know," she hastily assured returning his gaze, "As soon as he stops feeling so useless."

Cloud Dancing gave another chuckle, "I see you know him quite well already."

Yet Michaela shrugged it off.

"It's just a matter of experience. Patients with this kind of injury often react this way, especially when they're not used to depending on anyone."

This statement told Cloud Dancing more than if Michaela had reported every word that had just been spoken between her and Sully. She would never refer to Sully as just a patient unless she wanted to protect herself from what he'd said. This was her way of coping with things.

The Cheyenne glanced at his wife, seeing that she had come to the same conclusion. Without needing to be told, Snow Bird took over. Lifting the bag she was holding in her hand, she announced with a secretive smile, "I have something for you, Dr. Mike. Do you have a mirror somewhere in your apartment?"

Brushing off any thoughts about Sully, Michaela beamed, "You brought the blouse?"

"I did," nodded her friend, returning the smile.

…………………………………………………………

Sully had made his way half way through his room in order to follow Michaela when he heard the Harley. He resigned himself back to his chair, knowing that she wouldn't talk to him now.

A few minutes later the door opened after just a brief knock and Sully wondered whether they had been discussing him outside. His gaze held both defiance and embarrassment when he locked eyes with his friend.

Grinning, Cloud Dancing greeted him, "I've heard your mood isn't the best."

Abashed, Sully averted his eyes, stroking Wolf's head, assuming, "I take it she complained."

"You don't know her very well, my friend," the Cheyenne retorted, regarding Sully with a frown. "I've never heard Dr. Mike complain; that's not how she handles problems. It's what she doesn't say that tells you about her."

Growing even more uncomfortable, Sully tried to joke.

"Then I should know her by heart; she never talks to me about herself."

"Have you ever considered the reason for that?" Cloud Dancing asked, sitting down on a chair at the table.

"I… I don't know. I guess not," Sully slowly acknowledged. Both reasons that instantly came to his mind weren't pleasant ones: either she simply didn't trust him or somebody had hurt her in the past, which she didn't want to reveal to him. Although the latter assumption brought him back to her lack of trust in him.

"Did you tell her about your life?" the Indian went on with his questioning, knowing it was about time for some straight talking.

Sully hesitated. He could say yes to that, but he knew it would only be half true.

"Only general things," he finally admitted.

"Why not more?" Cloud Dancing persisted, not taking his eyes off his friend.

This time, Sully stayed silent. Both men knew that this was about another woman stepping into Sully's life and his refusing to admit that he was afraid of moving on.

It was the Indian who broke the stillness of the room.

"You have gone many seasons without love. But love is like the elk. It's strong and powerful and hard to kill. If you look deep in your heart, you will be able to find love again."

Sully knew that his friend meant well; Cloud Dancing wanted to see him happy again. It was just that he couldn't allow that. Stretching out his arm, he took his wife's photograph from the shelf. Tenderly, he followed the outline of her face with his fingers and at last began to speak.

"Abby once told me she wouldn't be able to handle seeing me with another woman."

Cloud Dancing frowned. This was worse than he'd thought. Gently but firmly he said, "Abigail isn't here anymore, my friend."

"Ya don't have to remind me of that!" Sully shot back, glaring at the Cheyenne as he had glowered at Michaela before.

"As if I could forget! She's dead because of me, because she carried my child! How can I betray her now, when she gave her life for me?"

For a moment, Cloud Dancing contemplated whether to go on. Now that he had opened the topic, he might as well give his friend one more thing to consider. Rising from his chair, he asked, "Who said she only did it for you? Don't you think she did it for herself, too? That she wanted to have her own child?"

Taken aback, Sully gazed up. He wanted to protest but the truth of the words was already sinking in.

Cloud Dancing could see it and added quietly, "Abigail wasn't a selfish person. Do you really think she would want you to stop living because she died?"

………………………………………………………………………………………

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Michaela asked, turning around in front of the full-length mirror, one of the pieces of Sully's antique furniture she had asked him to leave in her apartment.

Snowbird nodded, admiring both the wide, beautiful carved wooden frame of the mirror and Dr. Mike's image in the glass.

"The blouse suits you. And if someone were to take a picture of you in the mirror, you'd think it was a painting from a museum."

"Oh," Michaela blushed, not knowing what to reply. She never knew how to handle a compliment about her appearance.

"Well, you made the blouse," she said at last, admiring the dark red velvet that hugged her upper body. Snowbird had embroidered the fabric along the round neck which turned into a V in the front and the edges of the long sleeves with Indian patterns. Here and there were tiny, shimmering stones glued between the stitches, making the blouse look dressy. Sighing silently, Michaela added, "Now I just need an occasion so I can wear it."

"I know at least one," Snowbird smiled. "Cloud Dancing and I would be honored if you'd join us for Thanksgiving."

Turning towards her friend, Michaela grew embarrassed. She couldn't remember how often she had declined the couple's invitations lately. Friendship was a two-sided thing though, both parties had to take care of it. Thus she said hesitantly, "I'll do my best. It will be difficult because I don't have family to can spend the holiday with but many of my colleagues do."

As Snow Bird's face fell, Michaela, feeling terrible now, made a quick decision, "I promise I'll come," she assured her, "I might not be able to stay very long but I'll try to make sure I'm not working all day."

Instantly, Snow Bird's expression lightened yet a scratching noise at the entrance distracted them both. Michaela wasn't able to suppress a sigh as she turned to the door. "I will have to send Wolf away," she explained, crossing the room, "Sully thinks I spoil his dog too much."

She opened the door only wide enough so she could slip through the crack and crouched down before the dog on the porch. Stroking his head, she opened her mouth in order to tell her furry friend that he wasn't allowed to visit her anymore. Yet before she had her first word out she heard Sully who was leaning against the banister a few steps away.

"It's alright to let him in when he comes of his own accord."

Slowly, Michaela straightened, contemplating how to respond. He made it sound as if she had forced Wolf to join her inside. She was tempted to answer back but restrained herself when she saw his expression. His eyes told her that he was sorry but he was too embarrassed to say it out loud in front of Cloud Dancing, who was within earshot. She studied him for a moment, and thought it better to leave things open with a question that would ascertain if he meant what he said.

"Are you certain?"

"I am," he responded with an almost imperceptible smile.

For some reason, Michaela felt as if a load had been taken off her mind. Unfortunately, this happy state didn't last long because she could hear her cell phone ringing inside.

"Excuse me," she apologized, already hurrying into the house, Wolf right on her heels.

It wasn't the hospital though.

"Michaela," said a stern voice at the other end, "it's your mother."

"Hello, Mom," Michaela replied, sitting down on a chair at a large wooden desk.

Knowing about the strained relationship between mother and daughter, Snow Bird gestured to Michaela that she would join the men outside.

Michaela's gaze was apologetic as she nodded her understanding before she returned to the phone conversation.

"… and I insist that you come home for Thanksgiving," Elizabeth said determinedly, her tone making it clear that she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Michaela said it nevertheless, "Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to take more than one day off. I've not been here long enough..."

Yet this turned out to be the wrong explanation because her mother instantly picked up on her cue, "You shouldn't be there in the first place. Your home is Boston, not that town half way across the country."

Every time they talked on the phone, Elizabeth would come back to this point. Tired of discussing the same thing again and again, Michaela closed the subject. "I'm a doctor, mother, and in every town on this planet, there are people who need my service. At the moment I'm practicing in Colorado Springs, and I have no intention of letting my patients here down. It was Father who taught me that it isn't important where or who you heal but to heal. I'm staying here."

"You always went to your father, and he gave you whatever you wanted," Elizabeth didn't hold back her bitterness, "For most of my life, I was a wife without a husband. And a mother without a daughter."

The hurt she heard in her mother's voice left Michaela at a loss for what to reply. Yet then she realized that once again, he mother had managed to make her feel guilty. Quietly she at last responded, "You have four daughters right in your neighborhood, together with ten grandchildren. You are not alone, Mother. I'm sorry, but I won't be able to join you all for Thanksgiving. Good bye, Mom."

…………………………………………………….

Michaela pulled a comfortable, light pullover on before she left her apartment. Once she was out on the porch however, there was no one to be seen.

Yet next to her car, she spotted the dog wagon Cloud Dancing had put together.

"What do you think," she asked, looking down at Wolf who was still at her side, "Should we try it?"

Sensing that she was talking about something fun, Wolf wagged his tail excitedly. Michaela couldn't help but laugh, "Alright, let's do it".

It didn't take her long to put the bridle on Wolf. She needed even less time to climb into the wagon, and as if he had known it from birth, the dog started to pull. After some tentative, slower steps he took on a rapid pace. Feeling like a child again, Michaela enjoyed the ride, directing Wolf all over the place, not even noticing that she was giggling let alone that she was being watched.

Yet six eyes had followed her carefree riding from behind Sully's kitchen window for a few moments. But when the men had wanted to join the fun outside, Snow Bird had held them back.

"She won't be so relaxed when she is aware of our presence. Give her some time; then we'll call her in for dinner."

Whilst Sully was ordered to sit at the table, propping his injured leg up on the chair next to him, the Cheyenne couple put the food they had brought into bowls. The door between the two rooms was open, and so Sully was able to follow their conversation.

"You are worried about her," Cloud Dancing stated rather than asked.

"I am," acknowledged his wife, "She works too much and eats too little. She's so thin… She still lives in her apartment as if it's just a hotel. And it looks as if Wolf is the only living soul that can bring an easy smile to her face."

Taken aback, Cloud Dancing reminded, "She laughs with us, too. And I dare say she isn't pretending when she does it."

"Oh," Snow Bird stilled her hands, looking up at her husband. "That's not what I meant. I think… I think she feels that this dog simply loves her for who she is. I just heard the beginning of her conversation with her mother… Her expression alone told me everything about their relationship. She looked so tired, almost resigned, as if she knew that she wouldn't be making things right, no matter how hard she tried."

"I understand," Cloud Dancing nodded sadly.

Neither of them had noticed that their friend was standing against the doorframe and were thus startled when they suddenly heard his voice.

"I want her to feel at home here," Sully said quietly, "I don't want her to feel like it's just a hotel. And I have an idea. Snow Bird, would ya mind setting the table alone? I need Cloud Dancing's help before we start eatin'."