Chapter 10
While Bud and Harriett were having their discussion in the van, AJ had taken Robby into the nursery to put him to bed. Harriett had been right he was more tired than he could ever remember being and the baby was already asleep. Tenderly placing him in his brand new crib and pulling the baby blue blanket up over him, AJ started to turn to leave the room when he stopped dead. There on the edge of the changing table was a 5x7-framed picture. It was the one that had been on his dresser before he left for Italy, he could only assume that Harriett had moved it in here for the baby. It was the last picture he had of Francesca.
Going over to it, he picked it up and held it in his hands, looking back at the baby in the crib he tried to imagine his baby as the mother of this tiny scrap of humanity that he was now in charge of. It was almost impossible. He wondered what she had thought about in those last moments that she got to spend with her child. Did she do what he had the first time he had seen Francesca? Had she counted his fingers and toes? Or had she been to busy just looking at him to do such things. Had she had time to tell him all that she wanted to? Did she talk about his future and what she wanted for him, her hopes and dreams for him? Or had she had the time for that? Had she looked into his eyes and thought that he would grow up without her? What else had she said to him that the doctor hadn't heard?
"Oh Francesca, why did you give him to me? How can I raise a child at my age? Will I be able to give him the life you wanted for him? How will I explain to him why he is with me when I don't even know your reasons for doing what you did?" he asked out loud, but no one heard. AJ sunk into the rocking chair near the window, holding the picture and rocking back and forth his grief finally came home to him. No longer able to hold it at bay it took over and he began to cry. Great racking sobs shook his body and the tears obscured the picture in his hands.
"How could I lose you so soon after you re-entered my life? Almost thirty years without you and then only a few short ones together again, it wasn't enough, my darling daughter. Why did you give me your child? Oh Francesca how will I know the things that you want for him? Did I give him a name you would like for him? Would you have approved? Will you watch over me and guide me through raising him? Let me somehow know what you want done for him?"
Then as if in answer to his prayer, something woke little Robby and he began to fuss. Not hard crying like he was hungry or wet, just quiet whimpers as if he was disturbed by the torment the man in the rocker was going through. AJ heard him as if from far away and slowly began to move. Dragging himself out of the rocker, he placed the picture back on the changing table and then leaned over the crib. Picking up the baby he cuddled him close and then even though the room was lit only by a small table lamp, he held the baby in front of the picture of his mother. "That is your mommy Robby, she was a beautiful and wonderful woman and I loved her with all my heart. I don't know how I am going to get through loosing her," he admitted to the baby.
Robby stopped fussing and his tiny eyes locked on AJ's face. He looked at him without blinking as if trying to communicate with the man who was now his father. AJ looked into the deep brown eyes of the infant and suddenly knew what he was trying to tell him. With a strained half smile, he told Robby, "You're right, we'll get through this together."
THE END
I will start posting the third story in this set in about 10 days when we get back from vacation. Please be on the look out for Precious Gifts.