Hi, Hi! So the scene below when Ryou has a flashback is from Always Sunny in philadelphia. (One of my favourites bc it's humour and I'm from Philly.) You can probably find the scene on YouTube just type in Pepe Silvia.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, The Office or Always Sunny in philadelphia. Though I wish I did because I'd love being tied to them.
"Is that Teà walking home by herself?" Malik blinked as him and Bakura were getting burgers with Amane.
"Don't know. Don't care. Get in."
"GARDNER!" He screamed.
Bakura and Amane jolted back. The woman poked her head up then waved at them.
Malik motioned for her to come over. Bakura groaned.
"Hey guys!" She greeted.
"Hey Gardner!" Malik smiled, "What are you doing walking home all by yourself?"
"My car broke down. The mechanic said it'd take awhile to fix it."
"That sucks ass." He flipped his blonde hair in thought, "Hmm. Want a ride?"
"..." She glanced at Bakura, "N-no I'm fine."
Malik blinked, "Hn. Come on, I insist." He flashed her an award-winning smile.
She blushed, "O-okay!"
He opened the door for her, sending Bakura a look to be on his best behaviour. He closed the door, "Buckle Amane in."
"She can do it herself. She pretends she can't so you do it." He grumbled.
She kicked him in shin, getting in the car. Mad having her cover blown.
They got in.
000
"HAHAHA!" Anzu laughed loudly as Malik told her one of his crazy stories. They had been laughing and joking the whole time.
"Then he fucking pulled the dude off the clown and we took the parakeet and ran-"
"Looks like we're there!" Bakura said loudly, stopping the car.
Anzu blinked then smiled "Thank you very much! It was a lot of fun!"
"Yea, it was!" Malik said, "If you need a ride again, just ask."
"Okay, I might take you up on that! Thanks! Have a great night, Malik. You too, Bakura and Amane."
Bakura showed off his fangs. She shuttered at bit but kept smiling, "See you at work, guys!" She walked to her apartment building.
"Nice girl." Malik said, digging into his burger.
"I hate you so much."
"Baby, don't be like that! We have burgers in the car, your mood will make them upset."
Bakura punched him in the arm, "Stop being sweet to every pretty girl you see in your line of vision!"
"Is this about me taking in Amane?" Malik rolled his eyes.
"At least he said I'm pretty."
"Cus you are, princess. Listen, B Man," He used his Harley Quinn inspired nickname, "I was raised to always treat women with respect and like queens."
"You hate Mai."
"Her gossip pisses me off! You know she's be telling people I'm gay for years!"
Bakura rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
Malik pouted, pinching his nose, "You're like one of my closest friends, B-man. Where would I be without you!"
"Lonely."
"And broke and homeless! I need you."
Bakura felt quite satisfied with that, "Okay." He drove off.
"You're so insecure." The blonde mumbled, looking out the window.
"Huh?"
"When are we going on that fake date?"
"Need a sitter."
"I'll ask Ryou then. He seems to like kids." He pulled out his phone.
Ryou sat up in his bed, he threw the covers off the bed.
"God, Ryou." His girlfriend groaned, reaching for the covers.
"Such a light sleeper." His boyfriend mumbled.
He softly smiled, "Sorry, guys."
"Mhm."
He picked up the phone, "Hello?"
/RyRy-chan!/
"I told you no more favours after the last incident."
"Ryou, I need legit help in the mail room. Yami is forcing me to work in there for using the work computer to send porn."
"What kind of porn?"
"The type with bad acting. You see, Bakura and I like to comment on the acting and role playing in porn for shit and giggles."
"Wow. You two watch porn together?"
"After a few glasses of wine on a Friday night: yes."
Ryou blinked, "Is it gay porn?"
"Sometimes. Whatever pops up really."
"Are you sure you're not gay?"
"No, I'm not."
"You're definitely not straight. What are you-"
"The mail room! Mail room!"
"Fine! Geez!"
They worked in the mail room for a week. Ryou would pop in for an hour and organize and deliver. Yet it was so much mail, they fell behind quickly. And those days became ones of insanity and sleep deprivation.
"Malik, I swear everyone's going insane over the mail! These are backed up over weeks and now they're blaming us for this mess that already happened!"
"I don't want to talk about it," He lit a cigarette, "Grab a cup of coffee and chill."
"No! The mail is going to drive me crazy!"
"You wanna talk about the mail Ryou! Let's talk about the fucking mail!"
The blonde stomped over to the wall with letters and mail pinned to them. Ryou gasped. What did he do to the mail! He jabbed his finger on the name, " Pepe Silvia, this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Ryou!"
He looked him shakily in the eye, taking a slow drag, "What do I fucking find out?! THERE IS NO PEPE SILVIA! The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe!" He threw the box to the ground, "So I start marchin' my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!" And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Carol in HR." He gripped his hair, "It's a conspiracy! HALF OF THE WORKERS HERE DON'T EXIST! IT'S A FUCKING GHOST TOWN!"
Ryou stared at him, "Malik...not only do those people exist, they want they're fucking mail too! We have other departments, you're just used to the office!" He screamed, "We're in so much trouble! So much!"
"Well," He put the cigarette to his lips, "They're not gonna dock our pay."
"Why not?"
Malik grinned, "They already have three days ago! But I sent that shit all the way to fucking Siberia!"
"Gods, we can't keep this up! I have rent to pay! We're just scapegoats! We're pawns in their corrupt game!" Ryou started to hyperventilate.
"Ryou, will you calm the fuck down and have another cup of coffee!"
He sipped the drink, "I am! I am!"
"Know what," Malik turned to his side, "Barney, give this guy a cigarette. He's freaking the fuck out."
"Who? Who the heck is Barney?"
"Barney the detective guy right here. He gave me the tip about Pepe." He pointed to him.
"There is no one there, Malik..."
He sighed, "Ryou, he is right-" He blinked. He wasn't there anymore, "The fuck..."
"...YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!" Ryou slapped him then gripped his collar.
It took a week and a half in a mental institution to get right.
/Oh yea...Please, I just need you to watch Amane for a few hours on Friday night. That's all. I'll even buy you-/
"Say creampuff and I'll hang up."
/I was going to say cookies but whatever./
"Snicker doodle."
/I know, Ryou. You're like my bestie, of course I know your favourite cookies./
He smiled at that, "Fine then."
/Okay, we'll talk about it tomorrow at lunch./
"Okay. Bye, bye." He said. He looked at the phone. Babysitting wasn't so bad.
"Akefia." Atem spoke.
Akefia rubbed his eyes, "Yea?" He was falling asleep.
"I want to get married."
"We are-"
"I mean like with a wedding."
The grey haired man rolled onto his back, "We can't afford something big."
"We could ask her."
"NO! NO! NO!"
"Please Akefia!" Atem cried, grabbing his shirt.
"I don't trust that witch!" He crawled away from his grip, falling on the floor.
"Akefia!"
"No!"
"We'll settle this the old fashioned way."
"We're here today in the parking lot of our establishment of work to witness the COUPLE RUMBLE!" Malik announced, "We have the Egyptian Affliction and Pipsqueak McGee in the ring! With delightful fighting commentary from Mutt Madness," Joey waved his hand, "And Creampuff Magoo." Ryou sighed at being called Creampuff, "And myself, Honeydew."
Everyone stood outside the office watching the commotion.
"Boys, I want a clean fight!"
"No, let's make it to the death!" Joey yelled.
Malik shook his head, "We all know how that ended Joey! Poor Jonathan..."
Everyone bowed their heads in shame and remembrance.
"So I want a clean fight! Since I've been told this is a serious matter, it's less rules yet I suggest no low blows! I'm looking at you Porcupine hair." Atem scowled, "Make it a good one boys!" He backed away, "Fight!"
The couple circled around each other, boxing gloves held close.
"I want that wedding." Atem growled.
Akefia glared at him, "It'll be a cold day in hell then."
"Lots of tension here today folks." Joey said.
"I don't know if they're going to fuck or fight." Ryou shook his head.
Yami had a sign made with crayon with Atem's name on it, "Throw a punch!"
Atem jabbed Akefia in the stomach, leaving his face open for a blow. They both stumbled back.
Malik put in his ear buds, not really caring if they killed each other. (He already knew he was in Akefia's will.)
"Give me a wedding you piece of shit!"
"Hell no! We can't afford it and we're practically married!"
They threw hard punches at each other. Akefia was at a bit of a disadvantage. His arm had just gotten it's cast off but his leg was still wrapped up.
"Will ya look at this folks! They seemed riled up now!" Joey yelled, excited.
Ryou smiled, "You haven't been this happy since Mai told you you didn't smell like a homeless man. This fight is really something special, right Malik?"
"Give it to me, I'm worth it! Baby, I'm worth it! Uh huh, I'm worth it. Gimme gimme, I'm worth it." He sung, shaking his hips.
Ryou nodded, "Yes you are. And if I had a dollar bill, it'd be in your pants. Back to the fight."
Atem uppercut Akefia, making him stumble. Akefia growled, punching him in the face.
Daddy is going to kill Papa!"
They blinked, "Nubia?" They turned to see Bakura with their kids.
"I asked you to take them to school."
"They almost killed me to bring them here." He glared at Ammon
The little girl sobbed, "Daddy was already dead and now you're killing him again!"
Atem dropped his boxing gloves, "Not I'm not, sweetheart."
"Yes you are! Daddy is dead!" She cried. Akefia sighed and picked her up.
"I'm not dead!"
"Yes you are! You're a zombie!"
He patted her back, "You're a crybaby."
"No I'm not!" She bawled her eyes out.
"You're my crybaby though."
"And you're dead, daddy." She said, snippy.
He frowned, "Smartass."
Ammon rolled his eyes, "Damn brat." He grumbled, "Mal!" He walked over to the blonde, "Huh so you can dance without a pole."
"Fuck you Ammon! Shut up and dance with me."
"...fine."
They held hands slow dancing.
"Aw!" Ryou watched, taking a picture.
Akefia looked at Cai running to Atem, hugging him. He sighed, putting an arm around his lover, "I'll ask her."
Atem blinked and smiled, "Thanks."
"So you see Ishizu-"
"Where's my brother?" She said, seriously. She only meant business. She had her silky black hair pent up in a bun. Her tan business suit pressed.
Akefia sighed and picked up a tied up Malik on her desk. He squirmed and glared at Akefia. He looked away, guiltily.
"Thank you." She pulled him behind her onto the floor and rolled him under her desk, "So, you need money?" She kicked her feet up on the desk, not forgetting to cross her legs like a lady, "Why should I lend you this?"
"Well, we want to get married. You'll get your money back of course."
She tapped his fingers on the table, "I got one better. I plan your wedding and I don't add interest to the money you owe me."
Akefia blinked, "You? Plan our wedding?" He rolled his eyes.
"I'm a classy woman. As you can see. I'll plan it."
"Hell n-"
"Alright." Atem said.
"What?"
"She is a wedding planner, Akefia. And a famous one at that." She seemed more like a mobster.
He slouched in his seat, "Fine."
"Good." Ishizu cracked her neck, "Now get the fuck out of my office. I have real paying clients, you know."
Akefia heard Malik's muffled yelling. Maybe if he'd visit her more, this wouldn't happen. Someone shouldn't have to kidnap you to get you to see your family. The blonde glared daggers at him, knowing what he was thinking. He knew Malik was going to be mad. Oh well, what's done is done. It's in the past now. He left.
And Malik was planning the perfect way to get back at him.
Hope you liked this chapter! It was fun to write! Don't forget to review and follow! And check out some other stories I did but I assure you they are definitely not as funny as this.
Bye-bye, see ya next time!