I was in the backseat of an Impala.
To my left was a woman with dark hair and to my right was a guy with a long trenchcoat. In the driver's seat was Dean. In the passenger seat was Sam.
"Oh, hey guys." I said, and Dean screamed like a little girl and the car swerved dangerously, flew off the road, and hit a tree.
We all filed out.
Dean took one look at his Impala and collapsed onto his knees, sobbing.
"It's okay, Dean." Sam said comfortingly. "Cass is going to fix the car- aren't you, Cass?"
"I am?" Asked the guy in the trenchcoat.
"Yes, you are, before Dean has a heart attack." Sam said.
Just then the car caught on fire.
"Fix it." said the woman.
"Okay, okay." Cass said. He waved his hands and the car fixed itself. "See? It's fine."
"What are you doing here?" Dean asked.
"I don't know." I answered.
"Cass, Meg. Get away from her." Sam said to them. They backed away at once.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"We got a warning from someone who said that you killed an entire town of people." Dean said, wiping his tears away.
"Well that isn't true." I replied.
"He gave us a picture." Sam said, pulling a photograph of me standing in front of the exploding Three Broomsticks.
"Okay, first of all, Vigo did that. Secondly, I wasn't destroying anything there. That was all Vigo. And thirdly, only that building and Lee- possibly- were destroyed. So you've been misinformed."
"Pictures don't lie." Dean said, way more dramatic than he needed to be.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
Sam checked his watch. "Give it about fifteen seconds… fourteen…"
"What's going on with him?"
"Ten… nine… eight… seven…"
Dean looked like he was about to have a panic attack all of a sudden. He was sweaty and twitchy and kept glancing at Cass, who was talking to the woman.
"Three… two… one!"
"Cass! I gotta make out with you!" Dean shouted, and dragged a very confused looking Cass into the woods.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter. What does matter is that we've got to get rid of you because the evidence shows that you destroyed a town-"
"Did you not listen to a word I said?"
"-so we've got to get you out of this world."
And Sam shot me.
And suddenly I was on a very hot planet that was covered in lava. I was on a concrete platform high above the lava, and there was a spaceship next to me, a crazy looking man, and a levitating choking woman.
"This does not look good." I muttered as I stepped out from behind the spaceship. Before I could say anything, a voice from inside the ship shouted "Anakin!"
"What do you want, Obi-Wan?" Crazy Man shouted.
"Stop choking your wife, Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouted back.
"No! She betrayed me!" Anakin cried dramatically.
"No! You betrayed yourself!" Obi-Wan cried back.
"Have you always had that mole on your forehead?" I asked. I thought I was talking to myself. Apparently, though, I was heard.
"Who's that?" Anakin shouted.
"I don't know? Isn't she with you?"
"No! I already killed everyone here!"
"Anakin! You can't just kill people!"
"Yes I can! I'm a grown up now!"
"No, but seriously, the mole. How long have you had that thing? It's like a third eye! You don't have it about twenty years from now." I said.
Silence. Utter silence.
"You mean… I don't kill Obi-Wan in this battle?"
"Apparently not. He grows up to become an old man and-"
"That's enough." Obi-Wan interrupted.
"But-"
"Come on, Anakin. We have a battle to fight, which I'm going to win. So let's just get this over with."
Out of nowhere, Anakin backflipped over Obi-Wan and they started fighting. The Choking Woman was dropped to the ground and so I picked her up and carried her back to the ship, wondering if she was pregnant or just fat.
Or if she had an alien in her stomach waiting to bust out and kill everyone...
Finally I decided that I needed to watch the epic battle so I ran outside the ship and watched the two guys fight.
They were on a lava-y beach and Anakin was on a floaty thing while Obi-Wan was standing on a rock. Very epic.
I climbed down to watch them fight and heard Obi-Wan say, "It's over Anakin. I have the high ground."
"I'm not Anakin anymore!" Anakin cried. "I am Darth Vader!"
"You were my brother!"
"You were weak!"
"I need to get some popcorn for this." I said, sitting on a rock and picking up more. "Do you think I can eat these? I bet I can."
The two looked at me like I was crazy, and then Anakin backflipped over Obi-Wan, who cut off his hands and feet.
Even I winced at that.
"This got weird." I said.
"You can stop with the comments." Obi-Wan told me over Anakin's screams of pain as he caught on fire and burned alive on the rocky ground next to a lava stream with his limbs cut off, bleeding nonstop, with his legs and hand in front of his face.
"AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGG!"
"Well, Anakin, you had it coming. I told you I had the high ground." Obi-Wan told Anakin.
"SCREW YOUUUUUU!"
"Come on, we have to get out of here. I can't stand to listen to Anakin screaming anymore."
"Well, you came here to kill him, right? So he's defenseless now. Why not make sure he's dead. For all we know someone could come by here looking for him, find him here still alive, and make him a suit that has a breathing device in it so that he doesn't die and replaces his limbs with metal ones and turns him into a creature of terror that screws with the entire galaxy."
"Ah, that won't happen." Obi-Wan said.
"It happens in about twenty years." I said. "When you're an old man living on Tatooine."