Sorry I haven't updated frequently tonight, so I'm treating you to TWO chaps tonight and then gna try to be better next week :)

Rose

I didn't say a word to my father or Oscar of what happened with Dimitri by the docks. We went home in the after that. I showed them what I bought and tried to put on a smile in front of them.

When I was alone I just felt empty. My mind kept telling me what I'd just done was for the best. This was Dimitri Belikov would never come close to me again. He would stay away. Which was for the best.

But how come what's best for you always is the way that hurts the most? How come it's the way that keeps you from sleeping. Well you sleep but you never feel rested. It makes you constantly look and feel tired. It makes you feel like no matter how hard I wanted to hurt him by saying those words, it would always hurt me more.

Every word I told him that night was the worst fears I had, the worst things that I never ever wanted him to feel. Scenarios I've had in my head so many times, him telling me that's all I'm good for. That's what I'm there for.

I think the worst part was him just leaving. I barely got a reaction from him. It infuriated me at the same time as well, the fact that he had nothing to say.

We came home a few days ago. I spent the first day in bed all day. I barely had breakfast. Tasha tried to talk to me, to understand what was wrong. I blamed it on being busy in Copenhagen but we both know that was a big lie.

In the evening papa came by asking how I'm feeling. I told him I was just tired after the long trip. I did ask if he wanted me to help him with anything this week. I was begging to do anything to distract myself. He had narrowed his eyes at me, studied me. I knew that he could figure me out so quick. I was thankful he didn't ask any questions, he just told me that there were several visits I could do. That it would be great that I took more responsibility and see the country more.

I happily agreed, anything to not be alone.

When he left I got the box with Tasha's dress in. I put it on the bed and she looked a little stunned at my gesture.

"Open it" I said simply.

She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously, I gave her a small smile, "Open it, please?" I gave her an angelic face. I could see a small smile tugging at her lips.

She sighed and opened the box and gasped slightly at the look of the rich blue colour. She gave me a wide eyed look taking a step back as if it would jump out at her. I laughed for the first time in a while. I picked it up and held it up in front of me. It was a rich blue colour on the fabric. It had silvery embroided details along the sleeves and neck line. It had a lace up front with the lace delicately decorating it's sides and by the cleavage.

"So?" I asked looking at her.

"So what?" she asked still looking at me with suspicious eyes.

I sighed rolling my eyes, "About the dress silly" I said holding it out to her. Her fingers touched the skirt. "It's beautiful" she said looking at it with dreamy eyes.

I tilted my head to my right, "It's for you" I smiled.

Her eyes went wide, "W-w-what?"

I snickered, "I saw it in Copenhagen and I only knew one person who would look amazing in this. I think I understand why you enjoy shopping for me all the time"

"Rose I-I can't-"

"Oh no, I'm not taking no for an answer, this is a thank you for putting up with me for so long. For standing by me through this whole Dimitri thing" It stung a little to say his name.

Her smile grew wide and she was looking at the dress. She took the dress and put it on the bed before flinging her arms around me. Completely taking me by surprise, I chuckled and hugged her back.

Pulling back she had this ridiculous grin on her face. Without another word she continued with what she was doing but now she was humming and still grinning like a maniac. I smiled to myself before I sat down at my desk looking through some paperwork papa had left for me.

He had written me a list of things he wanted me to do. I was going for several visits around the county. He even wanted me to go alone because he knew that it would be greatly appreciated to have the princess there.

I would visit different estates, go a an anniversary celebration for one of England oldest women clubs, also an orphanage by father annually contributed to.

I had also promised I would be in our local town for their big harvest festival they always had in the beginning of October. I felt good knowing I had plenty of occasion to go to. Tasha and Eddie would travel with me.

The days went on, first I went to an estate up north. We were discussing the future and the way that they were running their estate. They were talking about their staff and what their best possibilities were to remain as great as they were. The man I was talking to was very clever and I instantly recognised my father in him. I told him that I could tell he took it as a great compliment.

Next on my journey was an estate and the anniversary for the womens club. This estate had some great troubles with their land and the way that the bigger towns were taking all the working labour away.

I gave a few propositions but also said that I would speak to my father about this to see if he could send anyone to help them clear out their more in depth problems that I didn't have enough experience with.

It actually felt really good talking to all these new people. Knowing that just getting a fresh pair of eyes on a problem it might help solving them. I didn't solve every problem that were thrown my way but i always made a great effort to find a small solution.

The womens club wasn't as exciting as I had once thought. The majority of the women were very snobbish and thought very highly of themselves. I wouldn't say it's bad to have good confidence but sometimes confidence get mixed up with self-esteem.

I did hold a little speech saying I was very proud of these women for holding on and standing their ground when other clubs wanted to shut them down. It was a proud heritage, I just believe that sometimes you have to leave people to their own business. If gossiping all day is what fullfils your life then good on you. It wasn't a life for me to live.

The orphanage was the greatest success of them all if I could say so myself. The children were playing with both Tasha and Eddie. Tasha was showing some of the girls different ways to braid their hair and they were playing outside. Eddie was reading to them and also playing football.

I spoke long with the head teacher about the children future, what different options they were given. Most of the children did either work at the local factory when they got old enough, they had the option to work in a local town. Some they never saw again.

It made me sad and angry to know that they had so limited options. We spoke about the money my father donated and how they were spending them. We drew up a plan on what were being spent and where things needed a change.

I felt so passionately about this I felt like if I could only make a little change I could hopefully change the future for at least one of the children. That was all I wanted. I made a note to myself to speak to my father about previous agreements and what other options we could do for them.

Going home, for the first time in a long time, I felt satisfied. I was still always tired and never felt fully relaxed. Tasha kept asking what actually happened in Copenhagen because I was nothing like this before I left. I had ignored her for so long I started to feel guilty. So on the way home I decided to tell them both what actually happened that evening in Copenhagen.

I told them about Oscars and papas worries and how my solution would be to explore the city, to shop and to eat pastries all day. I told them I saw Dimitri inside the pastry shop and how I hid. Telling them about the docks, how he kissed me made Tasha angry.

"How dare he do that? Just think he has a right to kiss you?" She was frowning.

It was like I was battling with myself. I had worked so hard to distract myself, to keep busy it just all went out the window the second his lips were on mine.

I groaned, "Is it pathetic to feel like no matter what I do he has the power over me? I know I can take charge and I can do whatever I want" I said looking at the both helpless, I leaned back and closed my eyes, "I just go weak when he's near me"

"What happened after the kiss?" Eddie asked breaking his silence.

I looked down at my hands as I told them I shoved him, I screamed and I cursed at him. How good it felt to finally tell him how angry I was. But also how furious I got when he just turned and left.

"I just wished he's scream at me, react to me, make me want to hate him!" I felt my shoulders drop and I massaged my temples, "It felt like a slap in the face when he just turned and left" I groaned, "And the way he just kissed me and suddenly said he had to go. Ugh! I'm so messed up" I groaned.

Tasha squeezed my hand and I gave her a sad smile.

"Do you know what the best thing was?" Eddie said with a small smile.

"What?" I asked not really seeing anything good in this.

"That you used his own words against him, must've been at least a mental slap" He said shrugging with a relaxed smile.

"And that you shoved the bastard" Tasha said excited. "I mean that man is big! I wouldn't have ever dreamed of doing that"

"I was angry" I said with a small smile while playing with my nails.

"Forget about him, ok?" Tasha said, "Isn't the October ball next week?" I nodded. "Great" she grinned, "We will find you the most killer dress and make sure you dance with as many guys as possible! Dimitri will be out of your head before you know it"

I wish.

I already knew he was going to be at the ball. Papa had shown me the invitation list several times as I was helping him with the preparations. I could only hope and pray he wouldn't ruin my evening.

"What about this?"

Tasha held up a red strapless dress. I wrinkled my nose a little. I love red but it all felt a bit plain.

Lousie had pulled out every dress in the shop and I had dismissed them all. I felt horrible for doing that to her, but it all felt like something I've already seen and worn.

Tasha said down with her cup of tea looking defeated. "I honestly don't know what you can wear Rose, we've seen it all" She held up her hand to the sea of dresses filling the room.

Lousie was sitting next to me resting her elbows on her knees looking like she was thinking hard. I sighed putting my cup on the side table, "I feel awful Louise, you know I Love your dresses but I just-" I sighed, "I'm tired of colour and happy" I looked at my hands, "I don't feel that happy these days"

I knew Tasha was giving me a meaning look. I didn't want to see her pity though. Looking in the mirror was enough.

"I got it!" Louise flew out of her the couch. Tasha and me both jumped as she was running to the back of the shop and disappeared behind a curtain. She was poking about out there for a good few minutes.

"Lousie?" I asked feeling a bit unease since it had gone very quiet. "Lousie are you ok?"

She suddenly appeared holding something in her hands. "This is way out there" she said, "I'm not even sure when I made this but I knew that this isn't just a dress you wear for a formal occasion"

I frowned as I took in what she was saying. Tasha got up and had a closer look. I could hear her and Lousie whipser as Tasha was twisting and turning the piece in Louise hands.

"What's going on?" I asked int he end feeling very curious. "What is it?"

Tasha turned with a develish grin on her face, "Prepare to be blown away" I let out a surprised chuckle towards her excitement. "I don't want to put it out like this but I have too"

She took the dress in her hands and walked towards me, "This is the dress that will make any man in that room next week beg on their knees to dance with you. It will be a slap in Dimitri's fucking face for all the hurt he's caused you" She held the dress up, "It will be the perfect revenge!"

What do we Think of a Revenge dress? Is she doing the right thing?

The mysterious fiancee will arrive soon!

xxx