Author's Note: Just so everyone knows: alcohol is a depressant and seeing as Bryan is becoming more and more dependent on the substance it is affecting him mentally. This chapter does have some major angst - there's only two major angst/misery-induced chapters. Out of 20 odd in total... That's not too bad considering the content.

Chapter Ten

"Bryan," Tala's voice was heard and Bryan oddly enough couldn't be bothered with such a nuisance at the current time. He was trying to think, in peace, about some serious issues which had been popping up in his head. Yet the redhead paid the glare he received no mind and straddled the slouching boy. Bryan narrowed his eyes as Tala leisurely kissed him before pulling away frowning. Why was Bryan being so unresponsive, glancing down he noticed a small mark on the boys lip. Without asking, or rather needing to, Tala opened the boy's mouth. "Is that a bite mark?" Someone had bitten him rather hard on his tongue.

"Hm." Bryan nodded, sometimes he wished he had a place which was his own. Somewhere that not even Tala knew about so he could be alone for a while with his thoughts. "Aren't you being unfair to the blond?" Bryan didn't care much for Max nor anyone else on the BladeBreakers, still he didn't enjoy knowing that he was the one on the sidelines... With Max no doubt having a leash on the redhead.

"He's not going to know-" The redhead almost lovingly nuzzled his neck, Bryan sighed and Tala had wondered why he cared for him more than a friend. "-you wouldn't tell on me." Tala smirked and moved slightly in his sitting position, teasing Bryan yet again. Still today was a bad day for Bryan he felt numb. Not even his usual comfort of alcohol appeared to fill this void.

"I might." Bryan's reply was surprising indeed - since when did he jeopardise Tala's happiness? Tala felt suddenly disturbed by the action. Now that the redhead thought about it: Bryan had been slightly off for most of the day. Grumbling about how he hated everything: it wasn't different from what he usually said. It was how he would looked when he said it. Those cold eyes were no longer glinting with sadistic thoughts, merely blank and thoughtless just like they were in the abbey.

"What's with that look?" Tala glared back, not knowing what was wrong with his comrade - had everything suddenly taken a negative toll on him? He'd get over it, he just had to: else Tala would need to find way out of such a friendship. It wasn't as if he was going to run because he would have to comfort him or that he wasn't going to admit that it was his fault...Tala knew very well that if he did just go then Bryan would be forced to sort himself out.

'I need to think...properly.' Bryan looked up at the ceiling, why did his life seem to be so unfulfilled? What had happened to those thoughts that he would be happy if Tala was happy? Where had the misery began; the pain was now beginning to eat away at his very soul? The pain was not like Bryan had experienced before: he knew the burning sensation after a hard day working; he knew the needle-like pain if he was too cold...The stabbing pain of a hungry stomach; the mental angst of being weak and just not good enough to be a Perfect Solider. He didn't understand this pain.

It was almost instantly after the thought that Bryan pushed the redhead to the space on the couch, "Bryan?" Tala was confused as he heard the boy sigh and wander off. Tala would have gladly, willingly, lovingly ran after the boy if he had known what he was going to succumb to. Pity, Tala really didn't know everything like he thought.

Enrique sighed and turned to look at Oliver who wasn't looking very happy about the situation. Still, they had invited Robert into town to do a bit of browsing at some new cars suitable for their weddings. Yet the invitation had been declined, but Robert had requested that they both come to his house so they could talk. It was a little odd seeing as how he had reacted to both of them yesterday afternoon. The two team-mates wandered in and found Robert sitting in the dining room, apparently just finishing his lunch. "So, are you in a better mood?" Enrique smirked hoping that the question didn't really need to be answered.

"Yes, sorry about the other day. I was... irritated." Oliver didn't know why but for Robert to have to pause to think of a word only meant that he was hiding something interesting. Still, Robert appeared to be his usual self now, smiling away to himself as his friends sat down at the opposite side of the table from him.

"We could tell." Enrique laughed when Robert inclined his head, he always used it as a silent apology or some form of greeting. The latter was rather rare but it had been known to happen on the odd occasion. Still the dining room door opened again and another Majestic team-member stood there.

"Johnny? What are you doing here?" Robert frowned slightly, he knew that Johnny would probably be off doing tennis at this moment in time. Or rather he should be - that was what he had been telling all of them for the past few weeks. Perhaps he had managed to get out of training for a moment or two... But to come here? It was slightly worrying.

"I thought Robert would like to know that Bryan's disappeared." The name made Robert roll his eyes, he didn't need to be reminded of what happened yesterday. Being attacked yet again by a somewhat buzzed Bryan, only to retaliate to have Bryan spout some confusing things at him. He didn't understand him whatsoever. However, Johnny continued, "Apparently Tala and the rest of the Demolition Boys have no idea where he is." The thought of Bryan missing wasn't as alarming as one would have thought.

He could take care of himself, so long as he wasn't completely sloshed. Then again he could very well be in that state and that was why no one could get a hold of him. Worry began to rise in Robert. What had the idiot done now, making everyone panicking? "And you report this why?" He didn't want anyone to know that he was slightly worried but he had no information which could help other than the fact which Bryan had stated the previous day. 'If I can't drown my feelings away then why can't I just act on impulse to ignore them?' It had been his excuse for drinking so much apparently, at the time Robert hadn't thought much of it.

"Apparently he came here before, did he say anything to you?" Why was Johnny so curious where Bryan was? Did they know one another? Unknowingly to Robert he frowned at Johnny suddenly believing that the Scottish blader wasn't telling him everything. On the other hand Johnny had been contacted by Kai; who of course was friends with Max... Who was - Johnny couldn't care about his connections, he just needed to find out whether or not Robert knew or not.

"Why would he?" Enrique and Oliver didn't bother interrupting the two: neither of them liked being cut-off. It was bad seeing as neither of them liked having someone speak to them without the other telling them to shut up. Or in Robert's case, 'to quieten down.' Whatever the reason, both Robert and Johnny had a very competitive friendship.

"Yes or no, Robert." Johnny growled, he hated the fact that Robert was just jumping around the question just to keep his pride up and his honour high. It was annoying that Robert would whine to them all that his family was controlling (which of course would only occur when Robert was either drunk or when something terrible had happened). Why couldn't he just fight back? Johnny had done it, sure he regretted a few fights but damn he was proud of himself for proving to his father that he had been right on a few occasions. There wasn't a day that went by without Johnny rubbing it in his face.

"No. I haven't a clue where he is." Robert sighed and the smile which had been on his face a few seconds ago was gone and didn't re-appear. Enrique and Oliver sighed in unison, this was going to be a hard time. How were they meant to get both Bryan and Robert blitzed if Bryan had disappeared. The plan of trying to get both of them together had taken a step backwards.

It was a lonely boy, sitting with a brown bag and a bottle. 'Someone come find me. Someone save me from this.' The streets were crowd less and silent. There was nothing but Bryan, his bottle and the small river which Bryan would stare at trying to divert his attention from his own thoughts. Why, how - did he get here? Why hadn't he picked his phone up? He could at least phone Spencer to come get him or phone Robert to give him...amusement?

'Take this away from me...' He had tried to walk the feeling off; he had tried to drink the feeling away; he had tried to forget the painful feeling as his body rejected the amount of alcohol in his stomach. Nothing made it disappear... There were times when Bryan wanted to stop these feelings so badly that a few narcotics appeared in the past.

'Make this pain disappear.' Even if Tala - as Bryan had thought - died in some accident. It would be worse: Max would gain everyone's sympathy and support...he would be lost without his friend. Maybe, he could wish to be more like Tala? So emotionally strong, cold was the mere term society had labelled it. It suited him: he didn't need to think about anyone's feelings apart from his own. Tala had no worries, the world could bow to is feet if he wanted it badly enough...and Bryan would loyally help him.

'When did things become so complicated?' When, indeed. The deal had been made without hesitation; the first few times, Tala had moaned about something. Bryan could remember he had felt almost embarrassed about the whole thing yet now - he couldn't even remember what had caused him such discomfort. Not after all those drunken nights which followed onwards.

It was odd after Bryan the first time he had sex with Tala hammered and out of his mind, he seemed to demand that it would only happen when he was comatose. It wasn't exactly self-esteem building knowing that he was more desirable while slurring his words than actually being able to stand without and support. 'I need help...' Perhaps the Demolition Boys were about to come running round the corner, glad to have found there missing team-mate. Bryan snorted before taking a gulp of the substance had began to take up his days more than not.

'No - I'll be fine. I always am.' His team were not caring by any means and yet he was still sitting on the cold stone waiting. For something, someone to appear and take care of him. What was he thinking? None of the Demolition Boys 'took care' of anyone - very rarely themselves; Bryan was just another example. Still the thought of another person doing what he wanted for once was intriguing... They could worry about him but he, he could relax for once in his life: not needing to prove himself to anyone.

'I wonder what Tala thinks of me?' He had cried over the redhead, pathetic. Looking down at the bottle in his hand Bryan sad and placed his head against the railing. 'He hates me because of this.' What person wouldn't - if they had the same experience as Tala? Alcohol had ruined his life - if his father hadn't then he certainly wouldn't have become depressed and violent. His mother wouldn't have abandoned him and Tala wouldn't have been thrown out of his once happy home... It was because of alcohol that Bryan had met Tala; on the freezing streets off Russia. Bryan was grateful for a friend.

'Everyone...' A few mental images flashed before him: the team each with their own cruel smirk: masking their secrets and pain from the past. 'Who actually cares?' Bryan shook his head, sadness slowly turning to anger. He knew why neither of them cared. 'Tala's just a coward. Not wanting to go the full hog with that blond. Using me - so why am I still hanging around?' Still he continued to doubt himself as if he were trying to win the argument merely so he could have something meaningful to hold onto. 'Spencer just comes to help me to feel better about himself. Am I that pathetic?' Maybe there was nothing which linked any of them to him emotionally?

'Ian doesn't even know what's happening anymore. Why should I worry such a naive kid?' Bryan would admit the fact that he preferred the younger blader out of his team. He had only endured a handful of years in the abbey...He wasn't completely emotionless and so chatting to him was oddly comforting. The boy knew what the pain felt like yet his own personality seemed to come through: a rude, but pretty sociable teenager.

'...Who else?' Were there only three people he knew? Another gulp. 'Robert?' The name had appeared absentmindedly, he wouldn't exactly call him a friend, or anything else for that matter. 'He doesn't bother about anything: he has everything...' He had felt how comfortable those beds were, he'd seen the value of a mere room. Bryan and Robert lived in two very different worlds. 'He could never understand me.' Yet the boy's voice echoed in his head.

'So you're saying that I should automatically assume that you will get drunk and be unable to keep anything I tell you a secret? That's what he said...' It wasn't what everyone else believed. If he had a drink the rest of his team-mates became more distant. It was ironic that Bryan would only ever have the courage to ask what was wrong when he was over-indulging himself in liquor. A time when none of them would open up. 'Why does he bother to pretend that he's giving me a chance?' Boris had pretended to give him a chance at life - look how that turned out. 'Chances are just curses in disguise.'

Bryan slowly stood, 'I wish Tala was here...' He saw a bin a few feet away: he should stop drinking, he owed Tala that much. 'I wish... I want him to drown in this pain. I hope Max crushes him like he did to me...Let him feel rejection.' He knew two things after he had thought that. One; he probably couldn't begin to look at Tala again - he was disgusted too much. Secondly; he realised that even though the bottle had been placed in the bin that he needed help. Mainly due to the fact that he had already back-tracked himself and had started raking through the filth for his half-empty bottle. He paused when he saw the bottle underneath a hotdog half-eaten and old.

'I need help...' It took most of Bryan's willpower to run away from the area. He needed help now. He was just glad that Hiwatari had agreed to help him and get him a place in the alcohol abuse recovery clinic. Wandering into the area made Bryan squirm inside. Half his mind told him to run, the other to march up to the desk and demand where his room was.

"I'm Bryan Kuznetsov. Where the hell do I go?" Bryan was in no mood, and he certainly was losing willpower as he spoke however the woman at the reception gave a small smile after checking the name and making the young man sign a small contract. (One of which Bryan could no longer sue anyone if they happened to restrain him and gain any injuries).

"Here's your room key." There were numbers along each of the doors - a few with simply a doctors name - and a bright red number was on his key. Room number fifteen... Bryan sighed to himself and grasped the key. It was obvious to anyone that looked at him that he was tipsy. He just hoped he didn't smell like rubbish, which he had been going through. "Basic rules are, you are not permitted to leave the establishment until further notice and you must take part in both group and individual support meetings," Good they were forcing him to stay. He would need such negative reinforcement seeing as he was already regretting walking through the door. "Your room will be checked on a regular basis. Just in case." The smile she gave was fake...

"Also medication is given at seven in the morning and at night to ease the pain for sleep, cravings should be cut down by the medication also given in the morning. However, you cannot have it at night due to the dose. Willpower is needed of course." Bryan nodded, how did he get this bad? Really, when did this addiction start? He'd ponder over that later, he just needed to get to his room and lock himself in. Tomorrow he would make someone grab some clothes for his stay.

"Yeah, yeah just give me my meds unless you want me to die from cravings or leave now." The woman chuckled and off she went to speak to a doctor about Bryan's medication and how much he should be given for his first night in detox. Proper, painful detox. Pity, Bryan escaped half way through the night: returning to the bin.

Author's Note: Bryan escapes detox again. How many of you readers actually thought he was going to stay the entire night and so forth? Bryan will unfortunately have to re-visit such a place a few times until he actually sticks in. After all detox is a nasty thing and Bryan is a complete mess... Poor dear. Hopefully it wasn't too miserable even if that was what I was aiming for. Well, if you have time, you know what to do - if not... Again, I'll see you at the next update. Later. (A little spoiler: next two chapters are my favourite bring on the sexual tension and acts indeed...)