Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

"What are you staring at?" I sneered at Ethan as I sauntered into the kitchen. I was shirtless and sporting major bedhead. Maybe that's what he was staring at. Ethan was eating cereal at the table, beside Isaac. "It's eight in the fucking morning and no one made coffee?" I grabbed a Pop-Tart and sat at the table, frowning in exhaustion.

"You've slept for the last two days," Isaac sneered. "How can you be tired?"

"I was sick," I retorted. "Not that you helped me recover." I tossed Ethan a grateful glance and he smiled. I'd already thanked him for being the one at my bedside every time I peered through the haze of my fever. A lot of the last couple of days was a complete blur. Just a lot of tossing, turning and sweating.

"You going to work today?" Ethan inquired, brow arched.

"Not until tomorrow. Tonight, I have a date." I sighed, relieved that I was going to wash those gay images from my mind forever. Jasmine was an old fling and, in a lot of ways, she was just like me. When I called her, I made it clear that I just wanted sex. And she was elated. This time, we would meet at her house. I'd learned my lesson. No more couch escapades for me.

I lazed around the house most of the day, and even helped Isaac study for a physics test. All those damn numbers and equations seemed absolutely purposeless. Ethan was strangely silent, and around noon he left for classes. I hated how badly I wanted to ask him what was wrong. Our friendship was strange and always changing. I'd grown increasingly uncomfortable around the blonde as he and Isaac seemed to exhibit more and more affection toward one another. It was just unsettling to me.

By the time I was knocking on Jasmine's apartment door, I'd banished Ethan from my thoughts. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top as she tugged me inside by the sleeve of my shirt. "God, you're still hot," she said with a sultry smile, pushing a long strand of platinum-blonde hair from her face. I laughed.

"You don't have to say that shit, Jasmine. We both know what we're here for, so just get naked already." Coming from Jasmine, it wasn't a compliment. She'd say that to anyone, to get in their pants.

"But it's true," she argued, making swift work of the buttons on my shirt. Her hands slid over my chest and I sighed in annoyance.

"Bedroom?" I inquired, meandering down the hall without her. I peered into the first door on the right. There was a large bed at the center of the room, with black sheets and blankets. I went inside and she followed me.

"OK, so no foreplay tonight. I can work with that." She jogged to the bed and lay back on it. "You've never been much of a cuddler. Most guys like to worship the female figure for a while before they get busy."

"Not me," I grunted, feeling suddenly not horny. I sat on the bed beside where she was prostrate and sighed. She reached over and removed my belt. Her fingers plucked at the button of my jeans and all that fumbling around near my groin made my body jump to life again. I rolled over her, pinning her to the bed. Boobs, curves, lipsticked lips. That's what appealed to males. I took her shirt off and smoothed my thumbs over her nipples. She sighed and arched into my touch. But I realized something.

Her nakedness wasn't what made me hard and ready to go. Her breasts, her curves, her appearance…it wasn't arousing. The only thing that made my cock throb was when she touched it. Shit, is that normal? Contemplative, I tried to recall if it had always been that way. With a swallow, I decided that it had.

Well, then… I concluded that I was just a hard guy to please.

Jasmine successfully worked my jeans down over my hips and off my legs. She wiggled out of her own shorts and grabbed my flaccid cock through my boxers. She laughed. "You're less enthusiastic than usual, Dan. Is something on your mind?"

I was catching up quickly as my blood pulsed through my veins, rushing in my ears. I hardened beneath her touch and she seemed pleased, but I was beyond concerned. Something told me that I should be able to look at a girl and be turned on. Kissing, groping, undressing…that part was supposed to be what got me going. It didn't. It never had.

"Please, damn it, just fuck me already." She glued her lips to my neck, which made me shudder. It was a weird, almost gross sensation. I was hard, yeah, but I was panicking. The pieces were slowly floating into place as suspicion took root in my mind.

The day I saw Ethan and Isaac together… Just thinking about their kiss had made me hard. But Jasmine, writhing and panting below me with her legs spread… waiting for me… it didn't turn me on like it should've. She surged her hips forward and the tip of my dick prodded at her core. Suddenly, I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I was still recovering from that illness… "I don't feel well," I muttered, rolling away from her.

"Are you serious?" she snapped. I shrugged. Frustrated, she rolled over to her nightstand and withdrew a fucking dildo. I glared at her.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"If your dick is broken, this one is working," she grumbled before sinking the black thing into her. It made a wet sound and I groaned. Gross.

"Bye, Jasmine," I sighed, zipping up my jeans. That makes two girls that I seriously ruined my chances of ever seeing again. I was already flaccid and completely bored by the time I was driving home. I wouldn't allow myself to think about the night's events. It was a dangerous path. Instead, I went home and sat on the couch beside Ethan.

"How'd your date go?" he inquired nonchalantly. I sighed.

"Same as the last," I admitted. This caught his attention.

"You couldn't…"

"I could, but I was just…I don't know. I didn't want to. Damn, that sounds fucking ridiculous."

"Maybe you just need to stay away from girls for a while. Sex doesn't cure all problems, against popular belief." He sounded flustered. I smirked at him.

"I think you're mistaken." With that, I rose and went to my room to not think about how I was unable to be turned on by the body of a naked woman.

Ethan

It was late and again I couldn't sleep. I just stayed in bed, eyes wide open. I couldn't shake the delirium-induced denial Danny had uttered. I'm not gay, he'd insisted, out of his mind in the heat of his fever. I knew, though, that the comment was rooted in something deeper.

I was disgusted by how much I'd allowed myself to become distracted by Danny. I thought about him almost constantly – about how real, rough, and honest he was. About how self-confident he seemed to be on the surface, when in reality he was fighting an identity battle of epic proportions. About how insanely sexy he looked in that night guard uniform…

It made sense, that I should develop feelings for Danny. He was everything that Isaac wasn't. I was experienced enough to know, though, that Isaac had many attributes that Danny would never possess, such as verbal intimacy and complete self-acceptance. Even recognizing this, I couldn't stop myself from wishing that I could kiss Danny – one kiss is all it would take – and try to convince the dark-haired deviant that he was, indeed, gay.

I was startled from my contemplations when I heard footsteps in the hall. Curious, I went to find out who would be awake at three AM. I entered the living room to find Danny, sitting on the sofa and staring blankly at the flashing TV screen. "Hey," I muttered, forcing my eyes not to linger too long on his bare chest. I sat beside him. "Can't sleep either?"

"Nope," he sighed, fiddling with his hands. "I am… going crazy," he said with a laugh and I tensed, anticipating the direction our conversation would steer.

"W-Why's that?" My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. Danny stared at his hands, mouth slightly open and eyebrows drawn together. The veins in his neck stood out when he clenched his jaw, emotion clearly written across his face.

"Jasmine was naked beneath me and I couldn't have been more uninterested. I watched her shove a dildo into her pussy and the first word that sprung into my mind was 'gross.' What the fuck is wrong with me?" His conflicted brown eyes turned to me, begging for an answer. But I knew he didn't want to hear the answer I had to offer. He'd probably punch me if I even suggested it.

"It sounds like you're too tense for sex right now. It's not that unusual, Danny. Sometimes you need your emotional needs to be met, not just the physical ones." My words were only somewhat bullshit. It was clear that Dan was one to fill an emotional void with physical quick-fixes.

"How the hell do I do that?" he snorted, a bitter grin painting his face. I swallowed and tried to suck some of the intensity from my voice.

"Just follow your instincts. Visit family."

"My family thinks I'm an idiot." He looked suddenly hurt and my insides burned with the desire to hug him. But that wouldn't be wise… I didn't think I had the strength to pull away, once I wrapped my arms around those broad shoulders.

"Well, is there anyone you can go to who doesn't think you're an idiot?" I inquired, smiling in a vain attempt to make him laugh. He paused for a long moment, eyes strangely intense, before he responded.

"The only person who doesn't think I'm an idiot is you." He said it with such conviction.

Let me just say that I hate it when cheaters try to make excuses for their infidelity. Every one of us has a choice about everything we do. That night, on the sofa with Dan, I had two distinct and very different choices I could've made. I had to pick one. And I did. And I can never take it back.

Summoning the last reserves of my courageous stupidity, I leaned forward and sealed Danny's lips with mine. I didn't give him a chance to push me away – didn't give him a choice in the matter. I only forced my mouth onto his, letting out an instantaneous moan as the warmth of his lips on mine was everything I'd hoped and imagined. My heart sang and my blood hummed to life. I kissed him like my life depended on it, reveling in the soft smacking noises of my lips moving on his.

But wait…

Isaac is going to beat the hell out of me.

Uh, Dannyis going to beat the hell out of me.