Author's note: I don't own harry potter or host club but I DO own the characters that I CREATED in this fanfic and other fanfics that I write. Unless I'm not allowed to own those either, then I really don't own anything…

This was edited on October/19/2010 because only says the date that I added another chapter :P so if you've started/going to start reading the chapters after this, I really apologize for the crappy quality of my writing back then.

Also, if you're reading "I Kinda Sorta Turned Her Into A Three Year Old", sorry for not updating in a while.

At the Hiitachin household...

When Kaoru got home, he called Kyouya-who of course, told him everything he wanted to know. He sat on his bed, mentally beating himself up. 'Why couldn't I just call Kyouya in the first place? Stupid Stupid Stupid! Haruhi probably hates me now!'

Hikaru knocked on the door before entering the room. "Kaoru, did you really need to take ten minutes just to ask Haruhi a homework question?"

"We're so stupid." Kaoru muttered.

"Huh?"

"I said that we're so stupid!" Kaoru yelled, covering his face with a pillow

"And why is that?"

"It was so obvious! So freaking obvious! But even when we made her work hard she didn't tell us!" Kaoru screamed, tears forming in his amber eyes.

"What was so obvious?" Hikaru asked, putting his hand on Kaoru's shoulder

"I can't tell you. I promised her." Koaru replied quietly

"C'mon Kaoru! You know you can trust me with anything!" Hikaru said

"That's what I told her. That she could trust me." Kaoru mumbled

"You're talking about Haruhi aren't you?" Hikaru tugged at the pillow covering Kaoru's face

"Yes."

"Then tell me! She can trust me too!" Hikaru whined

"I told her I could keep it a secret. I told her I was her best friend and that she could trust me. Does a little secret she told me matter more to you that our friendship with her?"

"Fine then. I'll find out myself." he got up and grabbed his cell phone, searching through his contacts for Fujioka, Haruhi. Kaoru jumped at him.

"Please, please don't Hikaru. I wasn't even supposed to know. She didn't even tell me when I practically-" Kaoru knew he had said too much. He covered his mouth with his hand. Hikaru had enough of it.

"So, Kaoru, he asked, his bangs covering his face.

"I-if she could help me with my D.N.A structure after school." Kaoru stuttered out, looking away from his twin.

"Liar. Tell me what you did to her." Hikaru spat. Kaoru got up and tried to walk away. Hikaru grabbed his arm. "Kaoru." he said, narrowing his eyes.

"You know how Kyouya-sempai was talking about how Haruhi always has to "cover" something up?" Kaoru said, still looking away.

"Yea, and then we all thought she was convicted of murder or something." Hikaru said, grinning in his mind

"He wasn't kidding." Kaoru started explaining what happened in Haruhi's room. Hikaru widened his eyes, resisting the urge to punch his brother in the face.

"So what's the medicine for?" he asked through gritted teeth

"She didn't tell me." Kaoru left out how he had figured it out anyway.

"Did you have fun?" Hikaru asked

"Huh?"

"Um.. "

"Why the hell did you do that Kaoru?"

"She told me it was medicine, but lately she's been in a bad mood, so I thought she was on drugs or something."

"Idiot!" Hikaru yelled. Kaoru looked at him. "When you're on drugs you're in a good mood! Mostly… I think." Kaoru widened his eyes.

"I screwed up."

"Yes. Yes you did. What would happen if someone saw you, like, I dunno, Ranka?"

Kaoru widened his eyes. "Someone did see us. Well they didn't see us but they were outside the room."

"Who was it?"

"Potter.."

Hikaru stared at Kaoru for a few seconds before

~~~~~~~~~~At the Fujioka household~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When's your dad getting home?" Harry asked Haruhi, moving a strand of hair out of her face.

"Overnight shift. He took a change of clothes with him." She mumbled

"Why do I need to know that he took a change of clothes with him?" Harry looked confused

"Nevermind, you weren't there and you don't speak the language." She said, interlocking her fingers with his

"Will you help me with my homework?" he asked her

"Yeah. But first I'm showing you around town a little." she got up, stretched her arms and made her way towards the kitchen, Harry following behind her. She started cutting some vegetables for lunch, still thinking about what happened with Koaru. Harry hugged her from the back, and closed his eyes.

"You okay?" he asked softly

"Yeah."

"You still wanna be friends with him?"

"Yeah. It's not like I'm mad at him." she said

"But he tried to-"

"No he didn't. I know Kaoru and I'm positive that he wouldn't do something like that." she told him

"And I was positive that I was snogging a guy that was just feminine looking." he said.

"Snogging?" she asked. For some reason that reminds me of pigs having sex.

"What we were doing last night. What do you call it here? Because that was much more than just kissing."

"Making out." Haruhi said, blushing as she recalled that, er, certain part of her night.

"Weird."

The corners of her lips rose up into a little smile, and she went back to cutting vegetables. Harry's grip on her tightened.

"Something wrong?" she asked

"You have to burn your bra now. You really wanna walk around with his saliva all over your chest?" he asked her

She shuddered. "No, but I can just wash it. I can't spend my money on something I can just wash off."

"Hmmph." he put his chin on her shoulder. She finished cutting the vegetables, put them in a pan, and started mixing them.

"What're you making?" Harry asked her.

"My own special Ramen." she stated proudly.

"What's Ramen?"

She put the spoon down "Excuse me?"

"What's Ramen?" he repeated. She turned off the stove. And went back to her room. Harry wondered if he had offended her. She came back wearing jeans, a red shirt and a black sweater. To his dismay, she was also flat-chested.

"Come with me." she said, slipping on her shoes

"Where are we going?"

"You don't know what Ramen is. It's okay Haruhi, he's from England, he doesn't know what Ramen is." she tried to calm herself down. She grabbed his hand. "Put your shoes on." she ordered. He did as he was told. They went outside, she locked the door and left, her leading the way. She was practically running when he grabbed her shoulder. When she turned around, he kissed her, making sure she wasn't going to run off.

"Calm down." he said gently, stroking her neck gently. She started blushing.

"But, we're in public, if someone sees us then-" she started

"Then yippee for them." he kissed her again. She tried to pull away, but she couldn't. Great, I'm turning into one of Tamaki-sempai's fan girls.

She heard a soft "Ahem". She turned around. She saw a boy with spiky black hair with red highlights. His eyes were a deep shade of blue-gray. He was wearing a black shirt, a blue sweater and a pair of jeans with holes in them. He was a few inches taller than Haruhi. He was staring at her with an eyebrow raised, tapping his foot. She immediately jumped out of Harry's arms.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" the boy asked Haruhi with a stern look

"It's recent." she mumbled

"Riiiight." he said sarcastically

"It's true!" she said

"No it's not, he was just making out with you, it it was effing recent then- he said. Haruhi stared at him. "Fine. Whatever you say sweetheart." he nodded his head. He walked over to Harry and stuck out his hand.

"I'm Haruhi's cousin. Tadashi, and I live up to my name*. You don't look Japanese. You look more European. By that dumb look on your face you probably don't understand a word I'm saying, but that's okay, since you can probably tell by my tone of voice that if you're just messing around with Haruhi, I'll kick your prissy white-boy ass. And if you can't tell, then you'd better fuck off because I friggin love Haruhi to death." Tadashi said in a happy voice that masked the urge to kill Harry. Haruhi translated for Harry and he looked dumbfounded.

Well that was strange. Harry shaked Tadashi's hand "Potter, Harry." was all he could say. Tadashi wrapped his arms around Haruhi's waist from the back and stroked her thigh. Haruhi slapped his hands away.

"But we didn't even get to say hi properly!" he whined

"That doesn't give you a reason to touch me you pedophile!" she yelled.

"Hold up!" he started. "We're fiancées! I should be able to hug my bride-to-be!" he says as the readers gasp.

"We sorted that out a long time ago! We aren't fiancees! Your my cousin!" she tried to push him away from a tight embrace.

"By the way, why are you wearing boy's clothes?" he started feeling and squishing her chest, trying tear off the tape that was covering her breasts. She broke free and ran to Harry, who put his arms around her. Mine.

Haruhi glared at Tadashi, who immediately apologized.

"S-Sorry Haruhi. I didn't mean to take it that far." he said quietly, his face was serious. "Haruhi, you know i didn't mean anything by it. It's not like I'm that guy from when you were 14-"

"Shut it!" she hissed at her cousin. He grabbed her from Harry's arms and kissed her on the cheek.

"You still owe me." he whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened.

"So that's the only reason you put me through all this? Because I frigging owe you?" she yelled. The three of them acquired somewhat of a crowd, all of whom stared silently at the scene. The typical Boy-wants-girl-to-come-back-to-him scene from a Shojou series. His bangs were covering his eyes, the people surrounding them watched He lifted Haruhi's chin and kissed her ever so slightly, not even daring to move the rest of his body. It took all Harry had to not punch the crap out of him right then and there, for fear of striking Haruhi as well. The crowd that the fight had gathered gasped. There were murmurs coming from all around them from the small crowd

Haruhi decided that she had enough of this nonsense. She slapped him in the face and ran away. He rubbed his cheek for a moment. Harry took of after Haruhi, with Tadashi following behind. Haruhi took a right at an alley, climbed up a ladder and ran to the corner of the rooftop behind the chimney. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see a man, probably in his late twenties, wearing a pair of overalls and a toolbox next to him.

"Re-shingling the roof?" she asked

"Yea. You know kid; it's not really safe to be up her without the right training. You look nauseous too." he said.

"I don't care." she said, hugging her knees.

"You don't care my ass. No climb back down that ladder and walk on the damn ground!" he yelled

"I don't care. I've had a bad day."

"How bad could your day be?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Hmm, let's see. My best friend nearly molested me, his twin brother-who is also my best friend-tried to kill my boyfriend and my cousin still thinks that I'm his bride-to-be. Does that sound like something a teenage girl want to go through? I think not."

"You're a girl? Figures. So what's a little girl like yourself doing up her with a guy like me?"

Haruhi had some difficulty explaining all that had happened in brief summary.

"What'd your cousin do that was so heroic?" he asked.

"It's a long story…. And it's kind of personal.."

"You had no problem telling me all that other stuff."

Haruhi rolled her eyes "That was different. Very, very different."

~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~

Haruhi, age 14

I woke up in a dark room, and I came to realize that someone had changed my clothes. I thought that I was going to get raped. I tried to get up, but immediately fell back down on the bed. I looked around and saw that there were more girls in my position; some of them just had a towel instead of a dress. Then I realized, the person who changed my clothes and taken off my underwear too. I tried to run away, but there was a chain attached to a collar around my neck. Someone opened the door to the dark room. He had short black hair and was wearing sunglasses. His black tuxedo was lint free. He walked over to me and grabbed me by the arm. He unlocked the chain from the dresser and dragged me through another door. I tried to scream, but my head was spinning too much. The other room turned out to be a stage, full of men in the audience. I heard someone with a microphone say something.

"Our next piece of merchandise is a young girl. Her body leaves any woman in envy. Her eyes blossom with innocence."

Someone lifted my chin. I looked away,

"It is obvious to anyone that she is a virgin. Truly, a rare jewel. We will start the bidding at 10 million yen."

I heard calls of different amounts of money.

"Going once, going twice..."

"20 million yen." I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up, and couldn't help but feel relieved that my own cousin was buying me.

"Going once, going twice. Sold! For 20 million yen!" there were a bunch of whispers in the crowd. "A teenage boy? How did he even get in?" Tada-nii unlocked the long chain from my neck and took me by the arm. Immediately after, someone on the stage tied a long piece of cloth around my eyes, my guess was so that I couldn't tell the police where this was if I ran away. Tada-nii practically had to drag me out, since I refused to be carried in this sad excuse of a dress, and could barely walk from the drugs they gave me.

He took me to what felt like a car, and he said "Drive."

I felt the soft rumble of the engine starting, and the car went over a small speed bump before going onto the main road. I couldn't stand the silence, the gray aura swirling around the both of us.

"Tada-" Before I could finish, he grabbed me by the arms and pulled my close to him, whispering in my ear;

"The driver's one of them. Don't say anything that'll blow my cover. You have to stay blindfolded for just a bit longer." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END OF FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You okay kid?" he asked

"I'm fine. Just a bad memory. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you my name. I'm Haruhi."

"Tetsuo. You sure you want to tell a man you barely know your name kid?"

"What? Are you going to look me up and stalk me?" she asked, one eyebrow raised

"Well, no but didn't your parents ever tell you to not talk to strangers?" he asked

"My parents told me to never talk to dangerous or suspicious looking individuals." she told him "Besides, to you I'm a stranger."

"But I'm an adult."

"I'm an adult too." she tilted to the right

"You're an underage adult."

"True. Well, I should probably get going now. Nice talking to you Tetsuo-san." she got up and brushed the dirt off of her pants.

"Same to you kid. You be careful now. That ladder's not very reliable." he said warningly. She nodded. As she reached the bottom, she saw a figure approaching her, running.

"HAARRUUHIII!" he yelled

Haruhi stared in awe as Harry ran towards her. "Haruhi!"

"Did you run all this way?" she asked, a hand on his shoulder.

"Wha 'pant' wha' pant..." he was gasping for air

"Catch your breath, then tell me." he sat down for a minute and took three deep breaths. He grabbed her shoulders.

"What the bloody hell was that?" he yelled

"He kissed me, I ran away." she said

"Do you know how effing worried I was? You ran who knows where in a big city-"

"A city that I know better than you." she told him "I know that what I did was pretty immature and stupid though, I'm sorry. Let's just get some ramen and go home."

The walk to their destination was silent. Their fingers were entwined (pretty word ^-^) together as they made their way there. When they got to the Ramen stand, Haruhi stepped up

"Jii-chan, two Miso Ramen please." she said happily

"Oh, Haruhi. You don't usually get Miso." the man behind the stand said

"I'm coming here with my boyfriend. He's new to Japan and he's never had Ramen." she said almost a bit too calmly

"It's nice knowing you have a- Never had Ramen? How long's he been here?" the man asked. Haruhi turned to Harry

"How long have you been in Japan?" she asked

"Couple days."

Haruhi turned back to the Ramen seller "Couple days."

"Poor kid."

"I know. Now please, two Miso Ramen." she said

"Are you sure Haruhi? I can see the doubt in your eyes." he said, eyeing her like a hawk.

"No. I'm not sure. Give me a Tokyo-style Ramen and give him a Miso." she said, slightly blushing

"Atta girl. One Tokyo-style and one Miso." the ramen man said, and started cooking. When he was done, he handed Haruhi one bowl and Harry the other. Harry picked up a pair of chop sticks, and noticed Haruhi was staring at him intently.

"Taste it." she said. Harry nodded.

He started eating the Ramen. The explosion of all the flavors, the burning yet addicting sensation of the Miso soup streaming down his throat, how had he been missing out on all this?

"So, how is it?" She asked him. She saw that he was in too much of a daze to even hear her. Haruhi let out a small laugh and let him resume his meal. He rapidly finished the rest of his Ramen. Haruhi payed the Ramen man, and she and Harry headed back home. When they got to the apartment complex, Harry stopped.

"Haruhi?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you help me with my homework? I haven't done math in ages."

Haruhi paused "I thought you went to a private school back in England."

"Oh! Er, I uhmm… You see, what with all the preparations for me coming here and all, I didn't have much time to do school work so I'm not really caught up…." He quickly said, giving himself a mental slap on the head for almost blowing his cover.

"Oh. Well I don't know about school systems in England, so I'm not really sure where you are; but you're definitely going to need help since you can't read Hiragana, Katakana or Kanji."

"Wait, I thought I was trying to learn Japanese."

"Those are the three writing styles. So I'm guessing you're going to need my help for a long while. Should we start now?"

-An Hour Later-

"So...tired." he groaned. His head plopped onto the table.

"You did pretty good. For someone who didn't know a thing about Japanese culture." she patted him on the head.

"You, you're really serious about studies aren't you?" he asked her

"Well, I want to be a lawyer when I grow up, so I need to work hard." she said happily

"A solicitor? Why's that?"

The edges of Haruhi's lips curved into a tiny smile "That was my mother's job."

"Oh." he looked at the clock

"Hey, it's two right now, you want to leave for the park in about 20 minutes?" she asked

"Sure. "

"Okay, I'm going to go back to my house and make some dinner, you stay here and go over what we worked on." she said. They kissed each other goodbye, and she went back to her apartment. As she cheerily prepared dinner, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door, Tadashi jumped at her, sending them both to the ground.

"Haruhi!" he shouted

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Do you know how worried I was?" he asked furiously. "You ran towards the dark alley with all the rapists and pedofiles!"

"Sorry."

"You know, you could have told me you were in love with that dude. I excpected it to be one of those one week flings where you deal with each other's shit because the sex is so good."

"That's none of your business."

Tadashi got off of her. He hugged her tightly. "I see. You have my permission."

"No, you don't understand, and who are you to say you give me perm-" she started

Tadashi stopped her with a small peck on the cheek, with a small grin on his face.

"Haruhi, now don't tell me that you're just going to forget your family just because of some-"

"Go away! Get out of my house!"

"You're too old to be having tantrums." he said quietly

"Let me go!"

"Just listen to me!"

"Please, let me go."

"No. You're gonna run a away again aren't you?"

"Why would I run away from my own home when I can just kick you out?"

Someone knocked on the door. "Haruhi!" Harry said. Tadashi threw a shoe at the door. Harry fumbled with the knob a bit, surprised to see it unlocked. Harry ran inside, pushed Tadashi out and locked the door.

"Well there goes our plan to go to the park." Haruhi could barely hear him over the banging and yelling at the door.

"Should we just let him in? He's not going to stop." she asked

"He'll stop eventually." Wish I could use magic on a Muggle.

"No he won't. Tada-nii's a child that way." she told him. He sighed

"You sure we can't just wait till he gets bored?"

"Harry."

He sighed "You don't want him outside the house? He's kind of annoying me.."

"Yeah… but it's more annoying to have him trying to beat a hole into the door with his fists. I'd much rather have him irritating me with his voice."

Harry sighed and slowly unlocked the door, turning the knob and opening the door just a bit.

Tadashi tried to jump at Haruhi, but Harry caught him. He was doing a swimming-like movement in Harry's arms.

"Lemme go! You little brat lemme go!" he bit Harry's arm.

"OW!" Harry yelled, pulling his arm back. Tadashi ran to Haruhi and hugged her tightly. He kept on muttering her name, as if he was trying to get her attention.

"Onii-chan, you're 17, stop acting like a kid." she told him softly, patting his back. He looked at her. "If you promise to behave, you can come to the park with us."

He nodded vigorously.

"That includes not touching me, or making a scene of any kind." she told him firmly

He pouted, then nodded slowly. She got up-Tadashi was holding on to her shirt like a little kid- and walked out the door with Harry.

"Why's he coming?" he asked

"He promised to behave." she said reassuringly. They walked to the park without saying a word. When they got there, Haruhi ran to the slide. Harry looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"What?" she asked

"Seriously? The slide?"

She just shrugged, and glided down the slide. The ran back up and glided down again. And again. And again. And again. Harry sat down on a swing, while Tadashi was playing in the sandbox.

They're acting like little kids. Don't they ever get out? Harry thought to himself

Why's that brat looking at Haruhi and me like we're freaks? Tadashi said in his mind, glaring at Harry

Sliding, sliding, sliding down the slide! Sliding, sliding, sliding down the slide! Haruhi sung in her head, not noticing the death stares that Harry and Tadashi were giving each other.

The three of them stayed at the park for about half an hour, and then Haruhi and Tadashi got tired. During the walk back home, the air got really tense. Harry put his arm around Haruhi, who tilted her head so it was resting on his shoulder. Tadashi twitched. It's okay Tadashi, he's only doing that to make you mad. And it's working. Wait, a minute, is someone following us?

Authors note:

*: I live up to my name: Tadashi means loyal, or true