After breakfast we were herded by alec and lead to a room, which was past the river, i shivered when i saw it. "This is whats called the fear landscape, this is where the information from your fear tests is stored in computers, then for your final test a pannel of dauntless leaders will watch you go through your fear landscape. It will have new fears that you havent seen yet, also anything you thought may be included." NO. I THOUGHT ABOUT MY FATHER. They were all going to see it, my past. "All your true fears will be dug up, you may have more or less than others." "thats hardly fair." said peeta, "so you get ranked with someone who has 3 fears even if you have 20." alec started towards peeta and the crowd parted for him to have a path to peeta. When he was just inches from peeta he said in a very low voice. "You want to talk to me about what is fair?" peeta gulped. "After the events of yesterday we all know clearly that you are a coward, if you do get through to be a member, i would watch yourself, im not likely to be kind to you." then alec spun round and headed back to the front. He looked at me and i smiled, peeta would suffer. "You can go explore this place if you wish, but you are free to go." we headed back to the dorm. There were flyers up on the walls, criticizing abnegation, with articals on how they hoarded things. Me, izzy, cat and ragnor spent the next hour tearing down every single one of those flyers, after we had done this cat and rag went of to some place to 'talk'. Izzy had a great idea to rip and throw them into the river. After dinner that night when most people were asleep we went to the river. Izzy, simon and me. We were tearing them when i asked simon, "have you ever met her, jeanine?" "yes, once. she worked with my sister once. She didnt even have to talk to know she was intelligent." "do you believe her?" "she may be smart, but she is incredible at manipulating people, and this is just another one of her tricks." he looked at me with sincere eyes. "You are very perseptive." as i said this, i looked down at izzy then back at him. He blushed a little and went back to throwing the documents into the river. When we were done i saw a figure walking down the end of the corridor to the fear landscape. Judging by the way he walked, his height and build it was alec. Izzy and simon had started heading back. "Hey ive just got to tell alec something." "is it really wise to be running round by yourself at night after yesterday?" simon asked with real consern, i hadnt given much time to that boy, having him actually care made my heart swell. "I wont be running." i said with a frown to my rib. "But ill be with alec, ill be fine." they nodded and walked off together. I walked after alec at a fast pace. He slowed down so i could catch up. When i did he handed me a long narrow black box, he had his own. "Since your here, you might as well come in with me." he knew or hoped i would follow him, i didnt care which. "Into what?" "my fear landscape, there is something i have to show you." "your going to let me see that, your deepest fears?" "yes" "can i do that?"
" yes the landscape runs from a program, mine is going to run." he opened the box and pulled out a syringe. He touched my chin, moving it to the side. Then injecting the fluid into my blood stream. I pulled out mine. "I havent done this before." "here." he pointed to a spot on his neck. I pushed the needle in and forced the plunger down. Then he pulled the door open and steped in, i followed. When we are in the room i stand there, when i am about to ask what we do now, the whole room changes and and i am standing on a thin metal path above a huge drop, on top of a large building. "Fear of heights im not suprised, we could just jump." i say. "No divergent would jump. If you want to pass then you have to think like a dauntless, find a tool or a method to survive. We have to make it to that building." he says pointing at a domed topped building with a tunnel leading inside. We carefully balance our way across, his breaths laboured and everytime he looked down his face went even paler. When we reached the building i jumped through in to the dark passage way only it turned out to be like a large air duct. I turned when i saw the dead end, the path we had just come down disappered and the walls started moving in. he sat panting, gasping for air. "Fear of confinement, what would a dauntless do?" i searched for a tool. Some nails were on the floor i grabbed them and started trying to shove them in to stop the walls advance. "Take your time, im just enjoying myself in a shrinking box." alec said out of breath, his hands shaking slightly. When i got the nails to stick the box fell away and we were in a room. A lone girl sat tied to a chair and a gun on the table next to us. Alec picked up the gun already knowing what to do. " at dauntless you have to follow orders, even if you dont agree with them." he held the gun to her forhead at she looked at him with emotionless eyes. "Who is she?" "and innocent, and i have to kill her." the bullet clicked into place and he turned to me, "but i can never do it unless i look away." with that he shot and the chair fell backwards. Her blood fanned out on the ground, and i turned to see a door behind me. He walked in with out looking at her, shocked i followed him. I walked into a bland but familiar looking room. It was abenegation. "Alec why are we in abenegation?" "your last fear is your worst." he walked forward, his arms already shaking. Footsteps came down the stairs, alec flinching at each one like he was being shot. Robert and mayrse stepped into veiw. "You are disgusting" they both screamed at him, "i will rid you of what ever is wrong with you." i saw a belt buckle glint from behind roberts back. "Alexander, im just trying to help you." then he whipped the belt out from behind his back and bought it up to strike. His mother just stood and watched, how could she. This was her son, and her husband. Alec shrinks back and puts his hands up to protect his face. I cant let him be hit. I step infront of alecs cowering form. And lift my arms taking the blow, it felt so real, white heat over my wrist. I had felt that pain many a time with my father. Robert jumps back dropping the belt and running at me with hatred in his eyes, trying to attack me. I feel a hand grab my arm and pull me behind him, alec stood infront of me and the walls fell away. We were sitting back in the fear landscape room. "Is that it ? only four fears?" he sat there and nodded, still shaking, sucking in raggard breaths. He grabs my wrists and brings me towards him. And wraps his arms round my shoulders, i stood shocked for a moment but i melted into his embrace, each time he shook it sent electricity down my back. "Hey, hey, we got through it." he pulls back moving back wards, letting go of my wrists. "You got me through it." he says in a small voice. "Well its easy to be brave when it isnt my fears." he looks back at me with a wobbly look, full of longing. " follow me there is something i want to show you."
I follow him till i hear the river. He walks to the other side of the bridge before walking onto the rocks that made a path down to the rushing river. We walked down the path and along the rocks for a while before alec sat down, patting a spot next to him. After i sat next to him i asked "what were your results." "i got abnegation as expected." "and you left because of them?" i said the last word through me teeth, how could they do that to alec, his parents. My father was cruel because of his drinking and the passing of my mother. But his parents were just cruel. "Yes" he choked out. "Is that why you dont want the leadership role, because you would have to see him ?" "that and that i never felt like i really belonged here." "how could you not i mean four fears is the lowest recorded, and you are and amazing aim not to mention you knife skills and combat." "the new dauntless is to cruel, i cant be a part of that. I have a theory that selflessness and bravery arent all that different, you have been training to forget yourself your entier life, so when your in danger it becomes first instinct." "yeah well i left because i wasnt selfless enough." i said looking out into the bubbling river. "Thats not entirely true" i looked back at him with expectant eyes. "The man that volunteered to have knives thrown at him to save a friend, who took a belt to spare me, thats not you?" "you have been paying attention havent you?" "i like to observe people." he said obviously a lie. "So you have figured out and observed this much about all the initiates?" "well no." "alexander you would be terrible in candor." he blushed at hearing his name. "Well ive been paying attention too, you are very closed off. This is going to sound dumb but i honestly know how you feel." he looked at me with disbelief. "How?" "our pasts are a like, the reason i am afraid of drowning is because when i was 5 my father tried to drown me in my bath tub." the colour drained from his face and his jaw dropped. " i had an abusive life till he finally died, i had the belt too, more than once. After my mother died he blamed me and when he wasnt passed out on the floor he was drinking and getting more and more abusive. So i do know how you feel." i stated, my breathing a little laboured, id dint tell people this, nobody but ragnor. "Oh god magnus. Im so sorry, thats terrible." "being sorry cant change the past. Just dont drown me in a bath tub, ok?" "ill try my hardest not to, no promises tho." we laughed. "magnus , i-i-i-i have something to say but i dont know how to." he stuttered. "You can tell me anything." i said suspiciously. "Its just well umm, i kind of umm." seeing him like this made me long for him, and when our eyes met i saw the confession plain on them. "You like me?" i asked like a five year old. he nodded. "Good." i said and leaned in grabbing his chin and drawing his face to mine when he was less than a centimeter away i looked into his eyes they burned mine and he closed the distance. Our lips molded to each others, moving softly at first then more forceful, my insides melted and i pulled myself closer to alec, who bought a hand up around my neck. After about a minute i leaned my forehead on his, my bruises sang with pain but at the moment i didnt care about anything but me and him. He breathed deeply to steady himself, i did the same. "Ive never done that before." i said after a while. "Really well, your good not that i would no etheir. But really never?" "no, i have lived in abnegation my whole life, no one caught my eye till now and i mean being gay draws to much attention to you right." he smiled "are you sure alexander that you havent kissed anyone, your just so handsome i would have thought you would have a group of crazy people after you." "well if you havent noticed yet im not exactly warm and fuzzy, and like you said im very closed of." i laughed a little. I left soon after that. When i woke up cat mauled me, "magnus guess what?' she said so excited. "He kissed me ragnor kissed me." i clapped my hands, "when? how? " we were walking and he just leaned in, i was a little startled but i came to my senses and kissed back." "well thats good, you know i have been waiting for this for a while." "what you knew how?" "it isnt very secret honey, what with all your doughy eyes and all." she blushed. When we made our way to breakfast i was light and bubbly. I couldnt fight the smile off my lips. Izzy looked at me with the question. I debated telling her. I nodded and smiled frantically. Her eyes brightened and her smile grew. We ate and headed back to the dorm. Today was the day i will face my fear landscape. Every thing was happening at once. When it was just me and izzy she practically breathed, "tell me everything." i explained the part with only the river, i didnt talk about the fear landscape. After i told her the last bit she sighed and spread herself out on my bed. "He finally did it. Years i have been waiting for him to let someone through his walls he built, thank you magnus." "ohhh i didnt do this for him, well kinda did but its what i want too." "im glad to hear it, alec picked well."
It happened guys, hope you enjoyed this. Next chapter will be his fear landscape. Cya later.