A/N: For some reason, my brain has not been in write-y mode lately, so with this chapter you get a bonus: A drawing of Lena Luthor from this chapter that I drew while trying to work through my block! If you feel like checking it out, go here: Tumblr dot com /post/159539129406/lenah2s Thanks!

Chapter 10
Crush

Cutting through the city streets, skimming treetops and blinking past the click and flash of cell phone cameras as National City's residents tried to capture a shot of their hero flying past, Kara was ready for a well-deserved rest. She avoided light posts and other signs jutting into the street as she spiraled through the deep indigo of the night sky. They had all had an extremely long day and now, all that was left was the journey back to Lena Luthor's high-rise apartment building where she could, hopefully, let go of some of the tension she'd been carrying with her.

She huffed slightly at the sound of Alex's voice buzzing in her earpiece as she darted between buildings.

"Kara, you can't let her carry on as if there isn't some egomaniacal entrepreneur hell-bent on taking her out. That ceremony tomorrow is going to be ground zero for Shurr and his army." The redhead was back at the DEO combing through the day's findings and creating a plan of action, should Lena decide to go through with her previously set plans.

"We don't even know that he's managed to get those mechasuits operational." Kara countered, clearing a streetlight as it changed from yellow to red. "And besides, if she says she's going to do something, nothing can stop her, not even me, Alex. But believe me, I'll try. I hate the idea of Lena being vulnerable to an attack as much as you do, if not more."

Alex believed her sister on that front.

In the last 24 hours the agent had witnessed a shift in Kara's behavior where the Luthor was concerned. Alex had initially assumed her sister had nothing more than a fleeting, schoolgirl crush on the CEO, but seeing them together this afternoon, it was clear this was something else.

The redhead had watched with quiet appraisal as Kara and Lena moved around one another with unmistakable grace. When one of them shifted, even slightly, the other adjusted as well; they circled each other in a mesmerizing dance neither was aware of performing. It was amazing and terrifying to observe, and Alex did her best to remain steady and still, so as not to spook her sister. She did note, however, the obvious care the Luthor had for Kara, the lingering looks, the gentle, reassuring touches; it settled her somewhat, knowing her sister's affections wouldn't go unrequited should she ever choose to express them.

"I know, Kara." Alex sighed audibly and the blonde paused a moment, hovering fifty feet above an intersection, watching the cars putter below as she stifled a yawn. "See what you can do. If she still wants to move forward, I'll make sure we've got a plain-clothes team briefed, and a tac team standing by." She waivered, then added, "Don't worry, I know how important she is to you. We'll keep her safe, I promise."

Kara didn't speak for a moment, mulling over how best to respond. She could tell Alex expected some sort of confirmation from her – her sister always seemed to know more than she let on – but Kara couldn't seem to find the words. She didn't even know how to put how she felt about Lena into a language she could understand herself, how could she possibly try and explain it to her sister?

"Thanks, Alex," was all she could seem to manage before lighting down on the balcony hanging against Lena's penthouse. She paused a moment, taking a steady stream of air into her lungs and pushing it out again before rapping on the glass. Something in her chest pulled lightly as Lena appeared and padded over to pull open the door. She was still in the severe black on black clothing from earlier, but the look had been somewhat modified now – the slack of the oversized sweater sat tied off at Lena's hip and the boots had been shucked off sometime ago.

"Fancy meeting you here," the dark-haired woman quipped, stepping aside as the Super strode into the main room.

If she hadn't seen the previous evening's devastation with her own eyes, Kara never would have believed what had happened here. The space was open and clean, if a bit stark. As she turned slowly, surveying the space, she was surprised at how small it actually was; there was the living space, a wide, open floor plan with vaguely mid-century modern furniture, in various shades of burnished leather, arranged tastefully with an occasional spike of tall lamp or sculpture punctuating the line. To the left of the living space was a long dining table of raw milled wood surrounded by spindly chairs.

Further beyond that was a beautiful kitchen: stainless steel appliances set into walls accented with clean white subway tile and industrial shelving. One short wall of the kitchen was covered almost entirely with plants, mounted against reclaimed wooden beams; she assumed they were herbs and other practical things for cooking, but it was still startling to see the sudden shock of green, so organic amid the industry. The kitchen and dining spaces were separated by a long island of warm wood and polished concrete with barstools of dark cherry and oil-rubbed bronze. Hanging partially over the kitchen was a loft space Kara could only assume might be a home office and the other rooms, she knew, were down a short hall on the right.

She stepped further into the apartment, unaware of the Luthor's eyes on her, as she took in all the room had to offer.

Lena leaned casually against the glass of the floor to ceiling windows, sipping occasionally from a tall mug of tea she'd just finished brewing before the blonde's arrival. There was something about having Kara in her apartment – the woman's clear blue eyes sliding over the edges of Lena's life in such a carefully meticulous way – it was terribly intimate. It caused something to coil, low and warm in Lena's stomach and she tried to mask the fluttering she felt by taking a deep dram from her mug.

"It's more," she searched for the appropriate word, "industrial than I remember?"

"Well, considering most of this was in shambles last night, I'm not particularly surprised." Lena crossed into the apartment and started fidgeting with a stack of books and knick-knacks arranged on a side table, attempting to mask her nerves. "I moved in when modern, industrial lofts were all the rage and found I never really tired of the feel. I suppose it's the engineer in me, I like being able to see the way everything fits together."

The blonde pushed her hair back from her face and unsuccessfully attempted to stifle a yawn as she turned toward the CEO. Lena couldn't help the smiling tugging at her lips at the sight of the obviously exhausted heroine and she wordlessly took Kara by the hand, leading her toward the hall. Under normal circumstances, Kara would be hyper aware of the fact that she was being led by the wrist toward Lena Luthor's bedroom, but as it stood, she was almost too tired to care. Almost.

Lena pushed the door open and Kara glanced around, familiarity registering as she stood in the middle of the room. The hole in the wall was completely repaired and Kara glanced around, appraising this space as she had the other. The industrial theme carried into the bedroom as well with most of the furniture a variation on a theme in milled wood and steel save a few comfortable looking upholstered chairs gathered in a small nook near the windows. Bookshelves lined one wall, though Kara had a sneaking suspicion this was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to Lena's literary displays. Aside from the newly repaired wall, one was made up of exposed brick, antiqued with a light white wash, another was more of the floor to ceiling windows, and the final wall was hung with tasteful black and white photos. Lena's large, low bed, occupying the center of the room, looked incredibly inviting, a fluffy white duvet beckoning Kara as she practically swayed on her feet.

Lena had disappeared and Kara searched her out, following shuffling noises coming from what turned out to be an impressive walk in closet.

"This is bigger than your office!" Kara exclaimed as she took in the sheer volume of clothing and shoes lining the walls of the moderately sized room.

"Nearly, but not quite," Lena called, pawing through a drawer. Pulling out one or two pieces, she crossed back to the Super and laid a few items of clothing in Kara's arms. "I thought you could use something a bit more comfortable to sleep in, since I doubt you're able to fit an overnight bag under that skirt."

Kara roused a bit at this, grousing, "I'm not sleeping. I'm protecting."

"Mm-hm, of course you are," Lena hummed, gently pushing Kara out of the closet. "The guest bathroom is at the end of the hall. I picked up a few things for you, just in case, just come meet me back here when you're done."

Kara shuffled belligerently toward the end of the hall, having no intention of changing – she was here to guard the Luthor, not nap – until she paused and, on impulse, pressed her face into the soft shirt Lena had given her to wear. It was a perfectly broken in dark heather grey, obviously well loved and, much to her delight, smelled like Lena. She reasoned that changing out of her super suit wasn't necessarily a concession; she was, after all, just as capable of protecting the woman in a t-shirt and sleep shorts as she was in her suit. She slipped out of her suit and into the shirt, relishing the feel of it against her skin before splashing water on her face and working through her own evening rituals with the items Lena had provided.

A few minutes later she knocked lightly on the bedroom door and found Lena tucked into bed under a reading light, glasses perched across the bridge of her nose as she thumbed through an issue of Modern Science. Kara's heart lurched in her chest as the woman, dressed down and freshly scrubbed, looked up and smiled warmly, pulling back the covers next to her.

Kara slipped into bed and, suddenly shy, curled into herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, sinking into the warmth and softness of the bed and sighed audibly, inspiring a pleased smirk from the other woman.

The room was mostly dark now, the only light coming from Lena's reading lamp and Kara shifted to gaze out the huge windows, plumping the pillow under her cheek; the city was barely visible below and stars peeked through wisping clouds above, but she couldn't seem to settle. She shifted again this time looping her arms under and around the pillow, stilling for a too-short moment. She pushed out a sudden, frustrated gust of air, turning to lie on her stomach, settling for a few beats before thrashing to her other side once more like a petulant child. This carried on for a few more moments before Lena asked her if everything was alright.

"I've always had trouble sleeping away from home." She murmured, turning to sprawl on her back. "I know its silly, but even as an adult, I've always been restless away from my own bed."

"I'm sorry," Lena started, "I wouldn't have asked if –"

"No, no. I want to be here." Kara interrupted, "I'm happy here. With you." She trailed off, blushing slightly, "m-making sure you're safe, I mean." She attempted to cover the embarrassing admission, excusing affection, replacing it with a sense of duty.

"I'm glad you're here, with me, too." Lena put aside her magazine, marking her place before laying it down, and shifted to sit a bit straighter. "Come here," she patted the space of comforter over her lap, indicating Kara should lay her head there. The blonde haltingly obliged, thankful the dim light hid the wild roses blooming in her cheeks at the prospect of such close contact. Her heart rattled suddenly and she hoped the other woman couldn't hear the pounding in her chest as she lay her head down. Tension crept into her muscles, slowly, as she felt Lena place a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"When I was little, before I was adopted, I lived with my mother in this noisy, overcrowded borough in Metropolis." As she spoke, Lena's lithe fingers found their way into Kara's loose blonde hair, brushing through curls lightly, "It was never quiet there, even in the dead of night. I don't remember a lot from my time before living with the Luthors, but I do remember the sound. So much noise, and so much of it angry. People yelling, cars spinning out, glass breaking – it never stopped, and I never slept, too afraid to fall asleep. So every night my mother would come home from her shift at the diner where she worked and she would sit with me in bed, just like this."

Kara sighed as Lena's finger's worked, raking delicately through her hair, lightly brushing against her scalp and found that the tension had all but drained from her body, her heart had settled, and she was nodding off, in spite of herself.

"I have so few memories left of my mother, my actual mother, but I always remember those nights. Even then, I knew she was exhausted, I knew we were barely getting by; but during those quiet moments in the dark, all that mattered was that I was safe and that my mother loved me."

Lena paused, noting the deep, even breathing of the woman draped across her lap. She smiled, brushing the golden curls back from Kara's face and, careful not to wake her, bent to place a chaste kiss on the woman's cheek before picking her magazine back up and finding her place, fingers still lazily dragging through blonde hair.

So far the ceremony had gone without incident, the crowd was restless and Lena was stepping down from the podium when a loud crack ripped through the air. Before Kara knew what was happening, dozens of people were rushing her, fighting to get as far from the main podium as possible while the blonde fought to get back to Lena. She was dressed in her day-to-day drab, glasses and swept back hair, so she couldn't just rise above the panicked crowd, but she also didn't seem to be able to push past them. She pushed forward again and again, only to be beaten back by the crush of bodies unhindered by her force. Her muscles felt fatigued and useless, but she didn't have time to wonder over her lack of strength, she was too focused on getting to Lena.

By the time she reached the dais, the youngest Luthor had collapsed, unable to stand upright, body straining to function despite the loss of blood. Kara pushed up the platform and fell to her knees, pulling the CEO's body into her arms. She clutched at the woman's side, black blood blooming from the gunshot wound under her palms as she tried to stopper the flow.

"Lena, I," she couldn't help the tears running down her cheeks, as the dark-haired woman brought a heavy hand up to brush back a stray strand of hair from Kara's face, "I'm sorry. I couldn't – I wasn't there. I couldn't protect you."

The icy green of the fluttering eyes caught Kara's and Lena strained against her to speak. Kara bent her head low, an attempt to hear, her powers again failing her for some reason.

"You broke your promise." The woman rasped before all tension fell away from her body and she breathed her final breath, cradled in Kara's arms.

"Lena?" The blonde pulled her closer, calling, "Lena?" She angled the woman's face toward her own, "Lena!"

She woke with a start, no longer surrounded by teeming crowds of fleeing people, wringing blood stained hands, she was instead wrapped in the darkness of an unfamiliar bedroom. Gentle hands were at her shoulder and a voice, low and liquid, was calling her name.

"Kara, it's okay, you're okay." Lena wasn't heavy in her arms, lifeless, rather she was perched at the edge of the bed, willing Kara to wake. The blonde pushed up from the bed suddenly and caught the Luthor in a crushing hug, wrapping strong arms around her very real, breathing body. "Oh Kara, it's alright."

Kara couldn't help the tears squeezing from her eyes and as she shook, she felt the other woman simply hold her tighter, rubbing comforting circles into her back.

"I'm sorry." Kara said, pulling back after a few cathartic moments.

"There's nothing to apologize for," the Luthor heiress responded simply, resting a light hand over Kara's.

The blonde turned her hand over and laced her fingers through Lena's bringing her other hand up to brush back the loose hair at Lena's temple. She felt, more than saw, the dark haired woman sigh and lean into the touch. Kara relished the response, as something warm woke inside her, stirring her body to life.

"What was your dream about?" The Luthor heiress almost almost hummed.

"Nothing. It's not important."

Lena didn't seem to believe her, but let it go for the moment, "Does that happen a lot?"

Kara paused, shifting closer to the other woman, "Often enough." Her answer was simple, but true, "Sometimes I dream about my family – my mother, my father, my cousin, my planet – dying. Other times it's Alex or my foster mother. And always – always – I'm helpless to stop it."

They shared a moment of silence, settling into the night and the feel of one another other, warming skin under gentle hands.

"Who was it tonight?" Lena asked, her eyes catching the dim light.

Kara surged forward slowly, "You." She pressed her forehead to the other woman's, letting her hand drop slightly and thread into the fine hair at the nape of Lena's neck. "I couldn't save you and you died in my arms."

"I'm right here." Lena's voice was soft, soothing. She drew her fingers from their tangle with Kara's and pulled the blonde's hand up, pressing it to her chest. "Feel that? I'm right here with you."

Kara paused, allowing the beat of Lena's heart to pulse beneath her hand, letting the sound of it, steady and strong, to flood her ears. She opened her mouth to speak but found herself unable to find the words she so desperately wanted to say.

"Stay here," she pleaded instead, "stay with me. I'm not – I can't lose you." The words fell from her lips before she had a chance to stop them, the warm pooling sensation rising and spiraling out through her body.

Lena gave no response. Instead, she pulled against the blonde, closing the distance between them, and captured her lips in a languid kiss. Over and over she found Kara's willing mouth, conveying through the press of hands, of lips everything she needed to say.