Chapter Ten

Of all the new armchairs in the living room that Annie had brought over the last week, she sat in Jeff's favorite one: the same armchair he was sitting in.

Any other woman who would try to sit with him in the same chair would've received a definite 'no', no matter how pretty they asked. Annie, on the other hand, had only to kiss him until his brain was running from his ears and his legs lost the ability to stand and the only solution was to sit down in the nearest available spot. Which was the armchair in the living room. Annie settled back in his lap, holding his face between her hands and kissing him with the same resolve she used in every task she took upon herself.

He held her knees so she wouldn't fall, and his other hand cupped her waist. He let himself forget his long day, the worried faces of the townspeople, as the news from the rest of the country dripped into town. He didn't want to think of the restless Indians who stirred trouble in the South and… Annie's hand slid under his shirt and he forgot what was next. What was next, for him, was that her delicate fingers stroked his abdominal muscles. He broke away from the kiss, turned his face away from her and closed his eyes; nothing's going to happen. Think of nasty things! Shirley's boys wipe their noses on their shirts. Troy throws up. Pierce demonstrates how his first wife looked, may she rest in peace.

It helped. And before Annie would go in unwanted directions, he grabbed her hand through the shirt.

To his relief, Annie murmured, "Oops, what's my hand doing there?" And retrieved her hand. He glared at her when she laid her hand on her lap and smoothed her skirt, a small smile playing at her lips. She looked up at him, and he narrowed his eyes threateningly. She smiled innocently and raised her hand to comb through his hair.

The sensation of her fingers on his scalp... was better than he would ever admit. He would let her go on with it just a bit more, then tell her to stop.

In a bit.

"Jeffrey... do you want children?"

He opened his eyes and every sense of calm dissipated, even though her fingers were still combing through his hair, her nails gentle on the back of his neck, behind his ears. He stared at her face that was close to his, but she didn't look at him, instead concentrating on her hands, as if it were the most important task in the world.

"What?"

"I know you never intended to get married, but you must have thought about children... Everyone thinks about children."

"I don't." But immediately he regretted it. She was right, he did think of children - years ago, when he was a young boy and thought he would grow up and find a respectable girl and make his mother happy, and have a bunch of kids that his dear wife would bring up and he will only see when they would come to kiss him goodnight. "I mean... I haven't thought about it in years."

"What did you think then?"

"I thought..." He stared at her. Her blue eyes turned to look at him, and he forgot the question for a moment. "..What does it matter? It was ages ago, and then I decided that I would never get married and that was the end of it."

"Oh." Annie bit her lower lip, combing his hair distractedly.

He waited for the rest.

Annie gathered both hands in her lap, stood gracefully, and held out her hand. "It's getting late and you're tired. Come to bed."

That's it? Wasn't she going to continue? Ask him why? Tell him why children are good for him? That children will save his life and atone for all his sins? Wasn't she going to argue with him and yell at him and stop talking to him until he caved and changed his mind?

He followed her up the stairs to their room, turned his back as she changed into her nightgown and watched as she combed her long hair from the tight curls of the day.

"Do you want to bathe?" Annie asked. "I can leave, if you like."

He didn't want to bathe but she had already left. So he washed. Maybe he was too tired.

When they curled up under the blanket, her nose rubbing against the bare skin of his neck, her hand drawing circles on his chest, he could no longer bear the silence. "That's it?" He asked her.

"Hmm?"

"You're not going to continue talking about it?"

"About what?" She murmured, and he got the vague impression that she was almost asleep.

"You asked me about children, and now you're acting as if you didn't say a thing!"

Annie sighed. "I rather hoped you'll forget it. It was stupid to mention it. I don't know what I expected."

"Why is it stupid?"

Annie shook her head, her soft hair tickling his cheeks as she turned to look into his eyes. "Because you don't want children, just as you didn't want to get married. You didn't get married - you don't want children. It's that simple. Besides..." She bit her lower lip again, and it was a bad habit because he, too, started to want to bite on her lip. He rejected the thought, because this conversation was more urgent than kissing.

Annie said, "It's stupid to check if you want children because we aren't even intimate with each other. I won't get pregnant from kissing... no matter how much I want a child... so I shouldn't have asked at all."

"You want a child."

"Yes."

Jeff watched her. She's so beautiful, so young. And she's stuck with me. She deserves everything she wants. Too bad all she'll get is me.

"I'm sor-" he said, but she put her fingers to his lips. "Don't," she told him. "You warned me before we married, remember? You told me I didn't think it through. And you were right. It didn't occur to me that you didn't want children even though it was obvious, since you had given up on marriage..." She stopped and looked away from him, and some blush darkened her cheeks. "Even though you haven't abstained from women..."

"I've always made sure there are no unwanted accidents," Jeff said sharply. "I won't have any illegitimate children that I can't take care of. I'm careful."

Annie shut her eyes so tightly that her entire face wrinkled. "Oh," she whispered.

Darn it, did I hurt her again?

"I'm sorry," he said at once, regretting whatever he said that had caused this pain to appear on her face.

"You're forgiven," Annie opened her eyes, and the unbearable pain passed. She gave him a slight smile. "I wish you wouldn't think so," she said. "Because children are... You probably heard it all before. Your continuation. The continuation of all of us. And you will be a great father, but I cannot ask you for anything; you warned me."

I'll be a great father? He almost scoffed out loud, but she put her head back on his shoulder, and settled herself until her body felt as though it had always been a part of him.

"Good night, Jeff," Annie murmured, and from her rhythmic breathing, it seemed that the damned woman had fallen asleep almost immediately.

He lay awake for almost an hour after that.

:::

"She wants children from me, have you ever heard such a ridiculous idea in your life?" Jeff threw his hands in the air of the empty sheriff's office. "Me! Jeff Winger! Number-one-bachelor-in-town from the moment I set foot in Greendale!" He paced from one side to the other in the small office, but it didn't satisfy his frustration, since his long legs carried him too fast from wall to wall. He fell on the edge of the table with a thud. "I am no longer single, so that ship has sailed, but who in their right minds would ever offer me to be a father?! 'Oh Jeff, I've noticed your thrilling habits of drinking Scotch every day and your non-existent patience for children, wan'na get me pregnant?' She doesn't understand what she's asking for!"

Jeff stared at the open office door. It wasn't fair to her - she didn't actually ask him.

"Right, she didn't ask me, but she wants them! And we're married! What does she expect me to do?"

The front door creaked when someone entered, then footsteps in the other room. Finally Troy's head popped into the office door. "Boss, is everything alright?"

Jeff looked at him without seeing, then sighed. "Yes Troy, everything is fine."

"Are you sure? I heard shouting."

Jeff gave him a look that said, if you're implying that I shouted, you're the crazy one.

Troy said, "Just wanted to make sure nothing's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

Troy nodded and disappeared behind the wall. Jeff stood up, circled his desk, and sat down in the sheriff's chair.

"Boss?" Troy was back.

"Yes?"

"You know that if there's something bothering you... you can tell me?"

As if he'd tell anything to Troy. As if he would tell him that his young wife, the prim teacher, the priest's widow, wanted children from him.

"Troy..." Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Boss, I may be young, but I know a man shouldn't keep his worries to himself. It's unhealthy."

"What, really?"

"Really."

"No, I meant: do you really think I give a damn?"

Troy came to the table and leaned on it next to Jeff, so that Jeff could look into the young man's dark eyes: Troy was worried. "If it's anything to do with your lady..." Troy said, "It's true that I'm not an expert in women like you, but sometimes it's better to tell our thoughts to someone else, sometimes other people can find the solution that we don't see."

Jeff glared at him.

Troy said, "For instance, remember when I was head over heels for this girl Randy, until it turned out she was seeing Vaughn all along? I was crushed. I was sure I would never find a woman like her, so... beautiful. With a skin as hers, like soil that has just been watered..." Troy sighed dreamily.

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. Yes, he remembered the girl who's turned Troy's head until it barely stayed on his neck, so what?

"And when I discovered the betrayal, I was sure my life was over. But then Abed convinced me to tell him what had happened, and you know what? He helped me. He told me she wasn't perfect, that it was a good thing she went with Vaughn to eat apples in the field, that I was now available to find the woman who would really be good to me. He made me realize that I was freer than I had been while I was in love with her. And I wouldn't've known it if I hadn't told him what I think."

Jeff sighed a long, long sigh, and the weariness of the previous night settled on his shoulders. "Okay, Troy," he said. "I'll talk, but if I find out you've told anyone in the world what I'm going to tell you..."

"Of course I won't tell! I swear!"

"Not even to Abed."

Troy gasped. "But... but Abed! But it's Abed! but-"

"No buts."

"He knows everything anyway!"

"He doesn't need to know this."

Troy calmed down, took a deep breath and spit in his palm. "I promise not to tell, not even to Abed."

Jeff deliberately ignored Troy's outstretched hand. He rubbed his face, considering what he would say. He wouldn't tell him about the children, that was... too troublesome. But maybe it would help him to unload some of the tension that had accumulated in his body lately. "You know Annie and I didn't marry for love."

Troy nodded gravely.

"We married so they would stop harassing her, and from the start I told her we wouldn't consummate the marriage."

Troy's eyes widened profusely, strikingly white in his brown face, and his mouth gaped open, but miraculously he didn't utter a word.

"I know what you're thinking, and I beat myself over it every day, but it's the right way." Jeff told him. "She came to marry me under pressure. Then... she saw me blindfolded, because I rescued her, she couldn't come to me because of me. And now..."

"I didn't get that," Troy interrupted.

Jeff huffed. "Do you want me to tell you or not?"

"Yes! But... What do you mean she saw you blindfolded?"

Jeff growled, but he had no one to blame but himself. "It means she thinks only good things about me because she's so grateful to me for helping her. She thinks I'm an angel."

"Ah," Troy nodded, smiling. "And you're not an angel."

"Quite the contrary."

"You're underestimating yourself, boss."

Interestingly, Annie loved telling him that as well. Anyway... "But she keeps... kissing me. You saw. She wants us to be together, like a real husband and wife."

"So what's the problem?"

"You really don't understand?"

"No... you want her, she wants you, you're married, what's the problem?"

"The problem is..." Jeff stared into space and tried to remember what the problem was. Why each time the kissing became too heated, as soon as hands touched warm skin, approached sensitive areas, he became filled with fear and apprehension and deep disdain for himself, and was unable to complete what his body so painfully wanted?

"Because it would be the wrong thing to do," he said to Troy.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't marry her to bed her."

"So what?"

"We didn't marry so I would enjoy myself, I married her in pure intentions."

Troy tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.

"Truly! I didn't even think it! I told her in advance that we wouldn't do the deed! What proof do you need more than that?"

Troy made a noise that said he was thinking, and that soon the thoughts would turn into words. Jeff waited. Finally Troy said, "So... it's not good to bed your own wife?"

"Not if she doesn't really want it."

Troy wiggled his eyebrows and tilted his head, in a look that Jeff had interpreted as 'These are some tall piles of bullcrap you're selling me.'

"She's.. fine, maybe she does want it, but..." Jeff thought about it, long and hard, and realized that the distaste he felt was for himself. Disgust with himself for taking advantage of her. "If we do it, it would mean that I married her to take advantage of her. And for the one good thing I did in my life... I don't want to ruin it."

"You've done a lot of good things in your life!" Troy cried, clasping his hands on his thighs. "You saved Greendale from the raiders, remember?!"

"Yeah, but..." Jeff studied Troy out of the corner of his eye. Troy didn't know the whole story. Troy didn't know that the big rescue, the reason all of Greendale loved Sheriff Winger, was based on lies. And Jeff had no intention of telling him that. "Yes, but I wasn't good to women."

"Oh," Troy said. "Well, I can't say about that."

I was good to them in bed, but as soon as I finished with them... I rolled them over to the other side and went home. The act was always empty. They knew I didn't love them, that I had no intention of marrying them. Maybe I gave them physical pleasure... but nothing more. And to this day I can see their faces darken when they see me; they know I wasn't good to them, and I know it too.

"Are you satisfied now?" Jeff said. "I told you. Do you have an idea how to solve this?"

"Yes. Stop being stupid."

Jeff glared.

Troy quickly added: "With all due respect, boss." He shrugged. "That's my solution, if you don't like it, that's on you." When Jeff said nothing, Troy nodded, got up and started walking toward the door, as if the matter had been resolved. Jeff held his breath, unwilling to feel relieved until the lad left the room.

As he had feared, Troy stopped halfway. "But boss, how do you manage? You have been married for.. I don't know, a month? Two months? And you didn't sleep together all this time?"

"I manage fine," Jeff said.

"And isn't it... hard on you?"

Jeff looked away from the lad. "Ha! Hard. Yes. But... she's worth it."

"Have you got yourself another woman?"

"Of course not! What do you think I am?"

"Not an angel."

"Yes, well. But I'm not a cheater."

"So then," Troy said with interest. "Are you taking care of it yourself?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do you... stroke the snake? Water the field? Clean the pistol?"

Jeff stood up abruptly, his chair creaking on the floor, and said with authority, "That'll be all for today, Troy! Get out of my office!"

Troy nodded to himself, as if that was a positive answer, and raised a thumb as he left. "Whatever you say, boss."

Jeff frowned at the closed door. Yes, he 'cleaned the pistol', almost every day, otherwise he couldn't be in the same house with his wife, but it was nobody's business. Certainly not his second, who shoved his nose where it was unwanted. Even if the lad thought he was his best friend, even if he had good intentions.

It just wasn't.

:::

Jeff shifted and his hand climbed up a smooth thigh, then pulled her leg to wrap around his. So much soft skin, and his hands were allowed to do with it as they pleased.

Annie moaned in his ear. "This is nice, Jeffrey..."

It was a good dream. At least in his dreams he got to be with her.

There was too much cloth between them. He pulled his long shirt over his head and threw it aside. His hands climbed under her nightgown and cupped her breasts. Annie gasped.

He was between her legs in their big bed, and soon both will be naked, and he will finally get to know her...

It all felt too good, too familiar.

He opened his eyes.

"Jeff?" Annie whispered, breathless, her palms gripping the sides of his face. "Are you sure?"

It wasn't a dream.

He choked and pulled his hands away from her tempting body, retreated and jumped out of bed, and found his nightshirt on the floor.

"Jeff? What happened?"

"Go back to sleep," he told her as he covered his waist with his shirt, hiding his treacherous body even though the room was completely dark. "Nothing happened. I'm going to get something to drink."

He didn't have to see her face to know she was sleepy, anxious, and confused. He heard it in her voice. "Oh... alright."

He fled the room and didn't return after he got his drink, only an hour later, when he was sure she had fallen asleep.

:::

Annie sat in Shirley's kitchen and studied the pages in front of her.

She asked the children to write a story as if they were historians. They had to choose a story that happened to them, explain what happened, what were the reasons for it, and what were the ramifications. Of course, this homework task was only for the older children, and it still took a whole lesson just so they understood the meaning of the word "ramifications". The stories were interesting - the spelling was poor. She marked a wrongly spelled word, a phrase that was incomprehensible. Woody, for one, told of the time he fell into the pit and broke his leg. He said that the result of the fall was a broken leg and that he stayed at home for a week without moving. She wrote to him: "And what are the reasons for the fall?"

Children. They were great.

Most of the time.

God, I'm such a fool.

Shirley made cookies and concentrated on making the mixture in silence, and didn't bother Annie while she was going through the pages. Annie was happy for the company, happy for the calm and friendship. But once in a while, when such a thought occurred, she wanted to break the silence and tell Shirley what she was thinking.

First I'll finish the task at hand.

She read Dolly's story - about the festival a few weeks ago - and though there was no real story there, Dolly had found reasons and implications, and Annie thought it showed an extraordinary understanding. She would tell Dolly's mother that she was very impressed.

Annie imagined Dolly's mother beaming at the praise, then imagined herself beaming at a similar compliment about her children. My children will be smart. I'll see to it.

Annie considered herself smart, and Jeffrey was clever as well... even when he used his mind to achieve unseemly things. Like the fact that he managed to get the Greendale womenfolk to take care of his regular meals while he was single. He was quite intelligent when he wanted to be. Any child of theirs will be as brilliant as a gem.

Don't be stupid. You won't have any children, because Jeff doesn't want children.

Annie finished examining the last three pieces, corrected what needed to be corrected, and heaved a sigh.

Shirley said to herself, "Where's this spoon? I'm sure I put it back the last time I used it!"

"Shirley," Annie said from her place at the table, "can I stay for dinner? Eat with you and the boys?"

"Of course, honey," Shirley replied. "Why?"

"Why not?" Annie flushed.

Shirley turned to her. "Excuse me if I think it's strange that a newly married woman, with a husband as hungry as our sheriff, would rather eat with me than go home and feed her man."

Annie lowered her eyes to the table and began to arrange the pages together. "It is strange," she murmured. "It's just that Jeff wasn't at home this last week."

"Why?"

"I don't know..."

Shirley gave her a once-over. "This sounds fishy. Why wouldn't you know where he is? Don't you want to know?"

"I want to know," Annie said. "But... he's just not there. He comes back very late at night, and in the morning it's not a good time to ask him questions."

"Annie, honey..."

"I know how it sounds. But I think I know why he prefers not to come home."

"Yes?"

"Yes." Annie didn't want to say it, but she had to. "I told him I wanted children, and he doesn't want them, clearly... I practically scared him away."

"Oh, Annie," Shirley abandoned the cookie dough and came to sit beside her, taking her hand in hers. "I'm sorry."

"I'm a fool," Annie told her. "I want a child of my own so bad, but Jeff will not- to him we're not even married."

"You're not a fool, child."

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"You know," Shirley said, "if a woman wants to get pregnant even though her husband doesn't, there are ways."

Annie turned so quickly that her curls slapped against her cheek. "Shirley! Are you saying what I think you're saying?!"

"Not cheat on him!" Shirley laughed. "With him! I mean, seduce him in a way that will make him careless."

"Oh," Annie's shoulders sank. "It won't work."

"You haven't heard the method yet."

"Shirley," Annie said dryly, "I've been trying to seduce him for two months now, and he won't even touch me under the clothes." Except that one time, a week ago, when he wasn't fully awake. She woke up from his caresses, and immediately wanted more - she hardly breathed when she thought he was going to make love to her in the middle of the night, that it would finally happen - when he kissed her neck and his hands touched places she hadn't been touched for a long time. But then he woke up, and she realized that for him nothing had changed, that only in dreams did he allow himself what he didn't allow both of them in reality.

Shirley exclaimed. "Really? This man has managed to keep your virtue for so long?!"

"I don't have any virtue to speak of..." Annie reminded her.

"Still! I'm pleasantly surprised. It turns out that he still has some decency, this man."

"I thought he was the perfect law-keeper of Greendale?" Annie said, partly amused.

"Law-keeper - yes, breaking hearts and jumping beds - as well."

Annie closed her eyes as a familiar pain gripped her heart. Sometimes it felt as if her whole body was hardening from the inside.

Shirley murmured, "What's the matter, child?"

He was in their beds but not mine. Why am I different? Why is he willing to be with them but not with me?

Annie lowered her eyes to the square pages that children carelessly wrinkled and tore at the ends, arranged on top of each other in perfect order. She whispered, "Why doesn't he come back?"

"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding," Shirley said. "I know Jeffrey. He wouldn't have married you if he didn't like you more than any other woman. And from what I saw of you together, he likes you more than any other man too."

"Not enough to come back home." Annie recalled the first day it had happened. She woke up in his arms in the morning and kissed his cheek. Thought, Something special happened tonight. He never lost control like that. Maybe he's starting to change his mind. Maybe tonight I'll wear a thinner nightgown. I'll make him good food, not too heavy. Get him full but not sleepy. She walked around that day in a dreamlike state, even when she was in class. Whenever her attention wasn't needed, her mind drifted to Jeff, his gaze, his hands, his searing kisses, his strong body covering hers. Tonight.

She waited for him until the food cooled, and after two hours ate it herself. He hadn't arrived either as she prepared to sleep, nor when she lay in the big bed alone under the blanket and missed his broad shoulders and soothing presence. His voice thrumming in his chest as he wished her good night.

He didn't come.

On the second day she ate after half an hour.

On the third day she stopped waiting for him.

Shirley said, "When Andre and I got married we would argue every once in awhile. It took us time to learn to forgive, to make peace. There was a time that he too came back late, and I didn't understand why. One day I grabbed him and asked him if he no longer loved me. Turns out he couldn't stand the smell of the detergent I used, and he couldn't get in without covering his nose. You know what he said to me? 'You work so hard to clean the house, I didn't want to hurt you'! He thought I would get hurt because I was offended when he commented about a certain dish. All you need to do is talk."

Annie nodded. That was good advice, and she thought she'd talked to Jeff quite enough, but... "But he's not home. He sleeps when I go out, and comes back when I'm asleep."

"You don't have to wait for him at home, you know." Shirley smiled. "Pull yourself together, woman! Are you not in possession of two legs and strength to walk and bring with you dinner for two?"

Annie straightened up. "I didn't think of that! And I have just the basket!"

Shirley smiled contentedly. "Wonderful, child. And come back and tell me what he said."

Annie nodded absentmindedly, took out a blank page and quickly wrote down what she would have to buy and prepare. When she finished, she found Shirley had returned to her cookies and finished arranging them on a tray.

"Shirley," Annie said, "can I ask you something?"

"Anything, my dear."

"Are you not worried when Andre is away from home for so many months?"

Shirley pushed the tray into the oven. "Of course. With the situation in the south, the Indian attacks. It's very dangerous out there. But I pray for him every day."

"No, I mean... he might be.." Annie shut her mouth. Why should she give a calm woman the idea that her husband was cheating on her? What could Shirley even do? She loved him, and the money Andre sent had helped her with the three boys, each of whom needed food to grow and new shoes every few months. Better to keep quiet.

Shirley raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "Oh, we're talking about me now? I liked it better when you never asked how I'm doing."

"I Do talk a lot about myself, don't I?" Annie asked sheepishly. "I'm a horrible friend."

Shirley chuckled. "You're not, but it won't hurt to take an interest in my life every now and then."

"I promise to change my ways," Annie said, resting her chin on her hand. "Tell me how you're doing, Shirley."

Shirley checked the hour and sat next to Annie, petted her hand and said with a smile, "Very well. I hope you have the whole evening. "

:::

The sun was descending from its peak when Annie walked briskly through the streets of the town. She released the students early so she had time to prepare food, put on a new blue dress, and pack everything in the basket. Jeff hadn't returned the night before, so she intended to complete her mission: come to her stubborn husband and persuade him to come back home. And not a word about children.

The street was rather empty. Most people were done with work by now. Annie waved at Sheila as she passed, then stopped to chat with her. She asked Sheila how her eldest son was doing with his studies, with his new apprenticeship. Sheila told her that he wanted to be a lawyer when he grows up. Annie thought it was wonderful.

Sheila said her goodbyes, and Annie walked on, looking up at the sheriff's office a few buildings away. Jeff was standing on the porch, talking to someone. Annie moved closer, straining her eyes.

She froze when she recognized who he was talking to: Mrs. Slater. The senator's wife.

The one that Abed told her who, unlike other women, she was successful in seducing the sheriff.

Annie's heart leaped to her throat, and suddenly the basket was heavy in her hands, and she was unable to move, only watch them. Mrs. Slater said something and touched Jeff's arm: his hands were folded across his chest, so he didn't respond to the touch. In the shade it was hard to see his expression, certainly not what he said, but it wasn't hard to see how close they stood, so much so that Mrs. Slater's wide skirt hid his legs.

Is that what he's doing when he doesn't come home?

God, I'm so stupid!

She didn't hear what they were talking about, but thank God, Mrs. Slater stopped touching him. She was almost his height, and didn't have to twist her neck to look at him, like Annie. An attractive woman. Annie could understand why Jeffrey had chosen her...

Why are you doing this to yourself? Go. He doesn't want to see you. How much more obvious can it be?

Mrs. Slater turned and walked down the porch stairs with poise, and turned the other way, to Annie's relief. She didn't see Annie frozen, staring at them like the stupid woman she was at the moment. She couldn't have bared the humiliation if that woman have seen her…

"Annie?"

Annie winced as Jeffrey's voice came from the porch. He saw her and waved.

It's too late to retreat.

Annie swallowed on her spit and hurt pride, and waved faintly. He got off the porch and came to her. "Annie, what are you doing here?"

"I..." She moistened her lips and lowered her eyes to the basket, clenched between her fists. "Nothing... I mean, I brought you dinner."

She dared to look up at his face, and he smiled his soft smile at her, the smile she missed seeing all week. Her heart skipped and then sank. He smiles at me like that after she was here?...

Jeff took the basket from her clenched hands, moved it to his left hand, and put his right on the small of her back, directing her to the office. "Thank you Annie. You didn't have to. I managed."

She forced herself to speak. "Of course. I know there are those who will be happy to feed you, but..."

"I went to Pierce's salon and bought a meal."

"Oh." He didn't get food from Slater; It was a kind of consolation.

"But I stopped going there..." Jeff admitted. He cleared his throat. "I forgot the biggest drawback of Pierce's salon: Pierce."

Annie forced a strangled chuckle, since Jeff had complained to her about Pierce several times. The man was the main cause of fighting in town, and Jeff despised him for it. Jeff said, "It's a wonder this man got married once, let alone four times."

Annie murmured, "You married..."

They stepped inside. Jeff opened his office door and placed the basket on the table. "Are you comparing me to Pierce?"

Annie realized what she had said, and her eyes widened in terror. "No! No, of course not! You're better than him. In every sense. The wonder with you is the opposite, if anything, how come you didn't marry for so long..."

Jeff gave her a side-glance, turned to her and folded his hands on his chest. Annie flushed. "forgive me, I know it was a choice, and not for lack of opportunities..." She had to stop talking. She was speaking nonsense, things he didn't want to hear and she didn't want to say. What she wanted to ask him was why he didn't come home last week, but she has already received her answer: he had another woman to entertain him. He didn't need Annie. She ought to be glad he came back to sleep in their bed at all.

Jeff smirked and said, "You don't have to explain yourself, Annie. I know exactly what I am."

She looked at him helplessly, at a loss for words.

"So what did you bring us?" He asked, gesturing at the basket.

"Oh!" She recalled her first intention, and began unpacking the basket on the table: meat, pie, fruit. She took out the cutlery, and though she brought plates and cutlery for two, she realized that she assumed he would want to eat with her, an assumption she now doubted.

"Why are you putting inside the other plate? Don't you want to stay?"

"No, yes... I mean, I can see you're busy, so I'll fix it for you and go." She didn't look at him when she said that. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He didn't marry you for love, and you can't expect anything from him. If he goes to other women, what can you do? He never promised you fidelity.

She began to put the superfluous cutlery into the basket. Jeff grabbed her forearm, and Annie's heart, which hadn't yet calmed down, once more beat fiercely. The touch of his skin against hers...

"Don't go," Jeff said. "I'm not busy. Stay and eat with me." Annie slowly raised her eyes from his palm on her forearm, up to his shoulder, his neck, then his pleading eyes. He said, "I see you've brought enough for both of us. Stay."

Annie nodded slowly, the blood rushing to her face. How could he make her feel like a maiden in one word, the touch of his hand on her skin, the look of his eyes? Bloody man. I wish I had never met him.

That was a lie. She was glad she had met him. "All right," she said quietly, smiling halfheartedly. Maybe it wasn't what she had meant when she came here, but it was something. "I'll stay."

Jeff cut the meat and pie for both of them, and they sat in front of the table and ate with their plates on their knees. Annie concentrated on her food, lingering on each bite, stealing glances at Jeffrey from time to time, just to make sure he enjoyed the food. He ate with appetite. That was also a relief: he enjoyed her food.

"Is that a new dress?"

Annie touched the fabric of her skirt, rich with embroidered flowers in the same hue, so only someone who looked closely could see them. It was called Cobalt, a kind of blue that was dark but definitely not black, and it looked enticing with her complexion and eyes - even if she said so herself. "Yes." I wore it for you.

"It's pretty."

"Thank you."

"And the food is delicious."

"Thank you."

Jeff cleared his throat. Annie finished eating her pie and put the plate on the table, folding her hands together.

"Annie? Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"It... doesn't matter."

"Look, if it's about children-"

"You don't want them. I got it. Forget it."

"But..."

She glanced at him. He seemed concerned, anxious, and his eyes didn't leave her. She said, "Really. You don't have to explain yourself further. I understand that no means no."

"But it's not like... I mean, Annie. You'd be the perfect mother. Any child will be lucky to call you Mom."

She didn't expect that. To hear that from him. The compliment was genuine, but the pain went deep. "What does it matter? I won't have children."

"Maybe one day-"

"Especially since you're not coming home anymore."

Jeff paused. "You noticed that, didn't you?"

"Did you think I wouldn't have noticed?" She tilted her head, and his eyes left her face as he rubbed the back of his neck. He actually thought I wouldn't notice he was gone.

"You know I'm your wife, right?"

"Of course.."

"We live in the same house, sleep together every night. I miss you." She didn't mean to say those last words, but they ran away and she couldn't take them back now.

"Really?" He frowned. "You miss me?"

"Of course!" God, that man!

"I'm sorry," Jeff said, and it felt like he had said those words to her dozens of times before. "I didn't think it would affect you. I... I thought I should stay in the sheriff's office in case someone needed me in the evening. With the situation in the south, people are upset. The riots might come to us..."

In fact, it made perfect sense. He stayed because he felt he was needed for the security of the town. She wanted to believe him. But she remembered Slater standing close to him, her hand on his arm…

She stood up. "You're right." She began packing the leftovers of the meal in the basket. "It's a good thing you stayed. You're a good sheriff, and I appreciate it." The basket was full and orderly in seconds; pent up anger was good for her efficiency, it appears. She ran her hands over her skirt, cleaning crumbs that might have fallen while she ate, took his empty plate and put it in the basket. "You're done eating, right?"

"Yes."

She covered everything with a blanket and turned away from the table. "Jeff," she began.

"I'll walk you out."

She let him walk her to the porch. The sun was setting, but there was still enough light for her to feel safe walking home alone. Jeff halted her before she went down the porch stairs.

"Annie," he said. She turned to him and tilted her head until she looked in his eyes. He stood close, closer than he had been standing with Slater, so much that she could feel the warmth of his body. He grasped her chin gently, and bent down to cover her mouth with his.

God, that man...

She missed it. His warm lips against hers. His taste, now mixed with the taste of the meal they ate. His closeness, and knowing that he was with her. He hadn't kissed her like that for more than a week. She sighed and rested her palm on his cheek, her thumb stroking the stubble on his face.

She didn't know how long he'd been kissing her, but she was disappointed when it was over.

"Annie," he said in a low voice, "it'll be alright. Do you trust me?"

She studied his face, and wanted so much to believe. How did I get here? Jealous of a man who promised me nothing? Courting my husband? Unable to tell him to choose me, instead of all the other women? The tears tickled the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't cry, not when he looked at her with soft eyes and his hand held her chin and all she wanted to believe was that everything would be all right.

"Yes," she said, and if she was a little out of breath, he could blame the kiss, and no other reason.

"Thanks for the meal. You surprised me, but it was a pleasant surprise. If it's not hard for you, I'd love you to come again."

"All right," Annie couldn't help but agree. "I will come."

"See you at home?"

"Yes..." She turned and walked down the stairs. "See you."

He didn't come back that night, but the next morning he kissed her properly before she left. She supposed she should have been happy with what he could give her.

But it wasn't easy.

:::

AN: I'm back!

Kind of.

To those of you who read these bits, and know that I'm writing a book - yes, I'm still writing it. But I'm between revisions now, and I'm waiting for my Betas' feedback before I return for my last revision. So in the meantime... I'm free to write fanfics!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter - I quite liked it. I hope you laughed out loud at the parts where I was trying to be funny. Did the steamy parts catch you off guard? I'm curious to know!

In other news: Google Translate is so much better now, it took me no time at all to translate this! So that's fun.

To those who wander "where the f is Britta?" (as Anon put it so eloquently) here's my answer: She is definitely in this story, but in more advanced chapters. Currently she's in New-York (*wink*), trying to find herself and be something. She will get to Greendale eventually (and stay there). So stay tuned, someday you'll get her story as well :)

Massive thanks for the reviews! They make me want to continue this - knowing that I'm not the only one who's having fun with this. You're the best for stopping by to tell me what you think!

R&R and DFTBA