**A/N: This chapter brought to you by the song "Burn It Up All Night" by Sweet Talker being played on repeat about 100x

CHAPTER 10: FAILURE

I leapt across the rooftops of Paris, running as far away from Ladybug as I could. I needed to transform back into Adrien. I couldn't wait for my Miraculous to power down. I couldn't stand to be Chat Noir a minute longer. I didn't deserve to be Chat Noir.

What kind of superhero was I? Paris needed me sand I almost slept through it. Ladybug needed me, and I wasn't by her side. I tried to prove myself, and I simply proved myself a failure. I was with Michel before he was akumatized, and I couldn't protect him from becoming another one of Hawk Moth's puppets. Everything went down at the Place des Vosges. Marinette could have-

I couldn't think about what might have happened to Marinette. I just hoped that the Miraculous Ladybug power managed to make sure Marinette and her parents were unharmed, and that their warm little home was good as new.

I had to just trust that Marinette was alright, because I failed her too. I did nothing to help save or protect her. I couldn't even check in on her. I didn't have time. I just needed to get home.

The towering, blue-slate shingled roof of my father's mansion rolled into view as I touched down on the flattened cross-beam of the terraced houses a block away. I leapt back off, and instantly felt a jerk as my forward momentum reversed.

My arms were pinned to my sides as I was yanked back to the rooftop I had just left.

"Whoa, there, Kitty!" Ladybug pulled on her yo-yo and the string spun me like a top. After three rotations, she grabbed my shoulders to steady me.

My eyes refocused, and her gorgeous face filled my entire view. Those playful pigtails. Her sparkling blue eyes. Her cute little button-nose. And was that a set of freckles just barely peeking out from under her mask? Didn't Marinette also have an adorable little bridge of pale freckles across her nose?

I pushed Ladybug away from me. I couldn't do this. I couldn't handle it right now.

"Chat Noir?" Her voice was soft and sweet. It reminded me of Marinette's, and it stung. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I already told you. It's personal. You don't want us to talk about personal stuff."

"There has to be something you can tell me. Is this about the akuma? Your family? Your home life? Is this about being a superhero? About me?"

I flinched, and her eyes widened at the movement.

"Did someone say something about me? Or about you as a superhero? Or about us as a team?"

"We're no team." I screwed my eyes shut, trying to force my eyes to dry up.

"Chat-"

"You took care of Terravenger all by yourself while you were waiting for me to finally show up. Once I did you were still taking care of everything by yourself. What was I even doing in that battle, huh? You pretty much single-handedly took him down. You didn't need me. You never did. Not with this akuma. Not with others. I'm no superhero. I'm so lame compared to you."

"That's not true! Chat, tell me right now that you know that none of that is true! We're partners. I can't be Ladybug without you. I never would have if it weren't for your encouragement."

For every step Ladybug took towards me I took a step back away from her. I couldn't handle the pain on her face. My chest burned. I wanted to tell her that I knew she was right. That we were partners, just as she has always told Paris. She had always treated me as an equal. She might have actually believed we were.

That night though, I didn't feel like her partner. I didn't deserve to be. You should be able to trust your partner. I didn't deserve that trust from her.

My ring beeped. I only had a minute left as Chat Noir.

"Chat? Tell me you-" her earrings beeped. She was nearly out of time as well. She brushed her fingers against the earrings as if she were trying to hide that fact from me.

Without thinking, I closed the gap between us in two large steps. I couldn't count the heartbeats to figure out how much time I was taking. My heart was going too quick. I didn't bother looking at Ladybug; I couldn't. I simply threw out my arms, and pulled her into an embrace that threw her off balance. I pressed her against my chest and breathed her in. It wasn't like in the mall where she smelled of salt, butter, and chocolate. Now she was back to having the windswept scent of Paris.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear. Before she could catch her bearings, I held her at arm's length. Once I was certain she was steady enough on her feet to not fall off the roof, I let her go.

She squinted at me; completely lost as her mind was clearly trying to process what just happened. Before she could finish computing everything, I pressed the cat-paw button on my baton. It shot me high above the rooftops, and I vanished into the sea of houses the next block over.

I knew Ladybug wouldn't pursue, even if she wanted to. We were both close to transforming back to our civilian selves, and she would never chance us finding out who the other was. Our secret identities were too precious to her.

I raced home. I tried to run fast enough to leave the pain behind me. I felt like the biggest scum. I was no good for anyone. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I get this whole superhero thing figured out like Ladybug? Yeah, she would trip up sometimes, like with Mimicker, Vanisher, or Volpina, but she'd figure it all out in the end and still manage to save everyone. Me? Once I tripped I just rolled downhill fast.

Even in my civilian life I was useless. Why couldn't I be a proper friend like Marinette? She knew things that I would like, such as the soup, without obsessively spying on me. I hadn't even realized the color of her eyes or the fact that she wore red hair ties until the day before. I never would have guessed that she had mastered the intense levels of Shields of Justice, or that she loved Jagged Stone so much she danced around her room like she was him.

What else didn't I know about Marinette? What more did she know about me? I know I was kind of new with this whole "having friends" thing, but to be this bad at it?

I leapt through my bedroom window and dove into my bed as Plagg flew back out of my ring.

"Wah, so exhausted!" he whined. I ignored him. I buried my head under my pillows and groaned as tears stung my eyes.

"Adrien, you kinda sucked out there. If you're going to strain me that bad you could at least do better work. Otherwise, we could have just stayed here and rested if you were going to have Ladybug do everything anyway."

I smacked Plagg with my pillow. It didn't seem to hurt him, especially since he could phase through objects, but it was enough to rattle him and let him know I wasn't in the mood. I couldn't handle his ribbing. Not when I already felt so miserable about it. I couldn't handle him voicing everything that had been playing through my head since Ladybug snapped Terravenger's pin.

"Adrien?" Plagg poked his head out from under the pillow. His ears were flat against his head and his tail was listless as he mewed up at me. Great. Someone else concerned about me. All I was doing was making people worried. Some great superheroing there.

I turned to my side, but saw the Ladyblog still up on my computer. An entire site dedicated to how amazing Ladybug was, and barely a mention of Chat Noir on it. Of course there wasn't. It didn't matter what Ladybug said, or claimed she felt. I knew I was barely a glorified sidekick compared to her.

I held up my right hand and just stared at the Cat Miraculous ring. It felt heavy and tight all of a sudden. I wanted it off my finger, but I feared removing it. Feared losing the new half of me.

I couldn't be Chat Noir without the mask. I couldn't be that free or playful. I couldn't make the same bold mistakes I did against Terravenger. I had no escape from my father or my bedroom without Plagg or Chat Noir. Could I really lock that part of me away? What if Ladybug was right, and she couldn't save Paris without me?

Would she still think that way after she found out what I did as Chat Noir for a week? Would I still be her equal? Would she still think of us as partners?

Frustrated, I huffed over to my computer and turned all the screens off. I growled out in anguish before flopping back into bed.

"Adrien? Are you alright?" My bedroom door opened, but thankfully Plagg had stayed under the pillow I threw at him.

Nathalie's eyebrows scrunched together, which was probably the most emotion she allowed herself to display. The Gorilla peeked through the door behind her. He was as silent as always, but his face was more of the traditional matte of concern.

With the akuma attack in Paris, they were probably posted at my bedroom doors to make sure I was safe. Thankfully, it seemed neither of them had attempted to actually come in to check on me. I hadn't thought that through when I left. Something else I was sure Ladybug was better at than me: making sure her civilian half had an alibi during akuma attacks. I had no clue how I would have explained my absence if either of them had asked me about it. I couldn't imagine the pain I would have caused them and my father if they knew Adrien was "missing" during an akuma attack.

Even as a son and ward I was a failure.

"Yeah, sorry, Nathalie. I guess I'm just getting cabin fever from being in here for so long. I just want to feel better already." I pulled my blankets up over my head.

"Get some rest. You can try school again tomorrow." Nathalie's voice was very matter-of-fact, like Father's, but it also had a hint of maternal concern, like Mom's. She hummed an unsure note as she debated if more needed to be done before giving up and closing the door behind her.

Then I cried.

**A/N: Sorry for such a short chapter for this week's update. Only five more chapters to go, so they're going to go quick as things wrap up. I just couldn't justify adding another 2000 words to last week's chapter.**