Harley did feel sorta bad about leavin'.
She'd slipped out of bed in the middle of the night, scribbled a quick note on the pad of paper she'd found in the bedside drawer, grabbed a pair of shorts (too big for her own hips) and a long t-shirt and climbed out the guest bedroom window.
Halfway outside, she figured she probably coulda used the front door, but it always creaked because Ivy's house belonged in freaking a museum. And she couldn't risk being caught.
Speeding through the dark with nothing but the clothes on her back, she tried to ignore the weight that settled in her gut as she pictured Ivy waking up the next morning to the note…to the disappointing realization that Harley had ditched on their breakfast plans.
But she had to! She'd been gone away from her Puddin' for too long. And he was probably concerned about her, cranky, worried that she'd disappeared after the dangerous heist. And she felt the pull, the tug in her heart to return to him. Ivy was great, she was. She was nice, and she was confident, powerful, beautiful, and she'd seen Harley as a partner—an equal. But she wasn't Mistah J. And the burning desire to be back at his side, trumped any niceties that Ivy had shown her.
So Ivy would be a little hurt. But she was one tough lady, and Harley would make it up to her sometime. She would!
They were still partners after all.
Probably.
/
"Honey, I'm home!" Selina Kyle pulled her keys out of the door, crossing the threshold and closing it behind her. "I just adore what you've done with the place, Pamela. So new, so fresh, this doesn't feel at all like visiting my grandmother."
Ivy came in from the kitchen, already scowling, dressed in only slightly more than nothing (as was customary). "I never gave you a key."
"You're right," Selina granted, setting her cat carrier down on the couch and opening the latch. "Sorry to inconvenience you, but Isis and I need to stay here for a short while."
Crossing her arms, Ivy asked, "What's a short while?"
Selina shrugged. "Hard to say. Bruce is feeling pissy and my safe-house was compromised." She moved past the redhead in the direction Ivy had just emerged from. "I'll be in the bath. Why don't you order us some sushi or something. It's on me, don't worry."
Isis was rubbing against Ivy's leg when she finally found her voice again. "S—Selina, no! Get out of my house! I told you not to just show up like this!"
"Well it's not like I can call you to check." Selina continued down the hallway, not even pausing to acknowledge her. "You don't have a phone, Ives. Not even a landline, let alone a—hey!" she stopped just short of the bathroom. "You took the picture of us down!"
"No," Ivy haughtily corrected. "I moved it."
"To where?"
"It's hanging in my bedroom."
Now Selina turned, feigned pity in her expression. "Pamela, Sweetheart. I'm flattered, but—,"
"Just take your bath," Ivy snapped, snatching Selina's cellphone from where she'd tossed it onto the couch. "I'll order your fucking sushi."
With a self-satisfied smile, Selina stepped into the bathroom, stripping off her leather jacket and folding it neatly on the sink. She was just about to start on her jeans when her eyes caught sight of something red, and entirely out of the ordinary.
See, Pamela never changed. Nothing was ever different in her home, nothing was ever out of place. But this…what is this?
Selina knelt down, picking the red and black garment up off the tile floor and stretching it out to study. "Ivy?" it was a question that brought the redhead to the open door, the cellphone held to her ear as the man repeated her order back to her. "I could have guessed you were kinky," Selina began, holding the strange outfit up to her. "But a clown fetish is sort of out of left field." She narrowed her eyes, looking between the suit and the green woman in front of her. "So, do you dress your plants up and come on to them? Or do you wear the suit and let them f—,"
"Yes, that's fine," Ivy nearly snarled into the phone, quickly hanging up. "That does not belong to me, Selina."
"Yeah, well, doesn't belong to me either." She was curiously studying the rip in the sleeve. "What is this made out of? Polyester?"
Ivy rolled her eyes with significant exaggeration. "I recently had a house guest. She left that here."
Selina scoffed. "Like you have any other friends besides me…"
"I never said she was a friend, I said she was a house guest," Ivy reminded her. "And 'friend', even for you, is rather generous. Regardless, the two of us were all over the news. I'm having a hard time believing you didn't see."
"You and your house guest?"
"Yes. She helped me break into the Botanical Gardens."
Selina raised an eyebrow, standing carefully. "Did you…get laid?"
"What is your obsession with my sex life?!" Ivy demanded.
"I just think it would improve your mood, alright? Jesus." Selina turned the faucet on. "Answered my own question, anyway. You obviously didn't."
"W—well, you don't know that," Ivy stammered, something Selina honestly didn't think she'd ever heard before.
"Pamela, if I turn around, am I going to find you blushing?"
"Heh," Selina snickered when Ivy slamming the door was the only response she provided.
/
Shoving open the heavy double doors of the base they'd made in the old steel mill, Harley was surprised to find a few new faces peering up at her from the poker table in the middle of the room. It made sense that Mistah J would pick up some fresh meat though, after Rocko had gotten himself stuck in Arkham, and Lenny caught Puddin's knife between the eyes—their gang was running thin.
A few snickers passed through the gathered men when they saw her, and Harley remembered then what she was wearing. Suddenly feeling naked without her costume, Harley threw back her shoulders, lifted her chin, and strutted towards the stairs with as much confidence as she could muster.
How did Ivy make it look so easy?
One of the men wolf whistled and the others laughed. Harley turned, throwing up her middle finger before scurrying up the stairs, tripping over the first one and banging her knees on the metal.
Fucking…smooth.
The men laughed again, but Harley ignored them, hurrying towards the old supply room Mistah J used as his office, for all intents and purposes.
"Knock, knock, Puddin!" She squeaked, pushing the door open without preamble, cocking one hip and throwing her arm up on the doorframe. He turned around, dark eyes flickering over her once before narrowing, his face twisting into a grimace.
"Harley! There you are." He pushed away from the desk he'd been hunched over, chair scraping against the wooden floor. Taking a step forward, Harley opened her arms to him, only to stumble when he pushed her hands aside.
"It's about time you showed up," he growled, pushing past her and heading towards the staircase. Dumbstruck by his dismissive response, it took Harley a good few moments to gather her wits enough to scramble after him. "I've got a meeting with the Commissioner tonight. Old boy needs his teeth cleaned, and who better to put a dazzling smile on his face, than me?"
He threw back his head and laughed loud enough to draw the attention from the boys downstairs. Harley's nervous chuckle was a little more reserved.
"But," his laughter was cut short. "I need an assistant. And since I can't stuff any one of those bumbling idiots into a nurse's outfit." Here he turned and smiled widely at her. "I'll need you, my dear."
He needs me, I knew it. I knew he missed me.
"I'm ready and willin', Puddin!" She said, throwing her arm up in a salute. Mistah J's smile widened.
"Excellent." Taking the stairs two at a time, he hopped down to the first floor, slamming his fist down on the poker table, scattering chips and cards everywhere. "Ready the car boys! We're got an appointment to make."
…It was partially her fault.
Okay, it was all her fault.
She'd made a joke, she'd upstaged him, she knew better. And he'd made sure she wouldn't make the same mistake.
He'd only used his fists, but somehow, the blows had split her skin, leaving bruises, cuts, a split lip, blood slowly dripping from her right ear. She couldn't hear very well out of it now, and that sorta scared her.
They boys gave her a wide berth. They stared at her, and mumbled amongst themselves, but ultimately left her alone. And Harley almost hated that more than had they tried to speak with her. Days passed and the wounds didn't heal right. Mistah J didn't exactly keep an emergency first aid kit around, and she sure as hell wasn't going to go to the hospital for a few icky looking cuts.
Their next heist, a week later, took them to the Gotham Zoo. Mistah J thought it'd be funny to release a few dozen animals and watch the chaos. Unfortunately, it seemed like the Batman and his little birdy were two steps ahead of them. It was chaos all right, and half of the new crew ran into either the Bat or the GCPD.
Harley escaped with Mistah J…and two new pets, hyenas, who's rabid energy kept a few of the more determined cops away. So Mistah J liked 'em enough to keep around.
The new babies were cute, and surprisingly docile when they weren't running rampant through the streets of Gotham. They licked at Harley's unclosed wounds, which was…adorable, she supposed. But their scratchy tongues hurt and Harley could guess they weren't too clean.
Plus, they were probably low key trying to eat her.
They'd escaped the zoo, but Harley didn't get out completely unscathed. Y'see, Vikki Vale was back with a vengeance.
"This is Vikki Vale, reporting live from the Gotham Zoo, where it appears that the Joker and his gang have just escaped capture after releasing the animals from their enclosures. Reports are coming in, twenty injured, two in critical condition, three lost children…The situation is bleak. Were it not for the Batman, I think it's safe to say, Gotham would have suffered an ever more significant loss today."
Mistah J was cackling gleefully, pacing back and forth in front of the tiny television, the goons who hadn't been captured piled onto the couch behind him.
"With him today, was Harley Quinn, who was last seen at the Gotham Botanical Gardens in the company of eco terrorist, Poison Ivy. The warrant for the arrest of both women is still in effect, as is now, the bounty on Quinn and Joker for the ransacking of the Gotham Z—"
The TV went silent. Mistah J had stopped laughing. A cold chill crept down Harley's spine, settling heavily in her gut. She shoulda known he wouldn't be happy when he found out.
Maybe she had known. Maybe that's why she'd kept it a secret. Puddin' would be jealous. He wouldn't understand. And if the way his fists had flown as he called her a 'traitor', 'unreliable', 'backstabbing bitch' was anything to judge by…well, she'd been right.
By the time he was done, Harley couldn't breathe right and the tv screen had been shattered, the remote still stuck through its sparking surface. Her hands tingled and her head spun, and she lay on the floor curled into a ball, trying to calm the painful tremors that passed through her.
The the entire city was after her, there was no way she could go to the hospital now. And no emergency kit meant there was no way she could treat her own wounds. Not only that, but she doubted a little gauze would do anything for the pain in her ribcage.
She needed to find shelter somewhere else.
And there was only one place she could think to go.
/
Harley wasn't sure what sorta security Ivy had set up around her place, but honestly, at this point, she didn't really care.
Her vision was blurry, her body ached, she felt like she could feel the puss ooze from her cuts every time she moved. So if she was gonna get eaten by a plant monster, so be it. Probably a better death than she deserved.
Still, though, by some miracle, she got to what she was really hoping was the guest bedroom window unimpeded. Maybe Ivy was just so cocky she didn't feel like she needed a security system. Harley wouldn't put it past her. Poison Ivy was always pretty damn pleased with herself.
With a grunt of pain and exertion, Harley yanked herself up on the window sill, using all her remaining strength to punch out the screen on the open window (score!) and tumble inside. She'd meant to gracefully scale the wall and somersault inside, but at this point, a tumble was pretty much the best she could manage.
But the best part of all of this was that Harley remembered the window was placed pretty much directly above the bed, so when she fell, it was onto that glorious queen-sized expanse of warmth and comfort. The landing spot was something Harley was banking on. What she wasn't expecting, however, was that this particular queen-sized expanse of warmth and comfort—one that she previously thought was sort of reserved for her? Because, like, there was no way Poison Ivy had friends, right?—was occupied. Occupied by someone who seemed equally distressed by the predicament because they immediately shot up to a sitting position, screaming bloody murder in the darkness.
And now Harley was screaming too, because…her body hurt! And…this was her bed! And…she was too tired for this!
Then the light flicked on and Harley shielded her eyes against the intrusion. "What in the world is going on in here?" Ivy demanded, her voice raspier than usual as she'd clearly just woken up.
Harley fought against the light to open her eyes, but upon seeing Ivy's only articles of clothing were a robe (worn open, of course), panties, and a lacy bra she seemed to have constructed herself out of leaves, immediately slammed them shut again. "What the hell, Red?! Do you own any clothes at all!"
"Red?" the brunette who was occupying the bed asked, incredulous. "Since when do you have a nickname?"
But Ivy didn't seem to be listening to her, she was cinching her robe tightly around her slim waist and crossing her arms in front of her chest, her green eyes—cold, intense—staring Harley down. "I wasn't expecting you back."
"Well, yeah, obviously. Yeesh!" Harley knew she had no right to be upset, but she was pretty delirious at this point. "I'm gone two weeks and ya already give my bed to somebody else? I thought we were partners, Red!"
Ivy looked legitimately surprised, hip dropping and eyebrow raising in one elegant motion. "You left me with a note, Harleen. Just as we were beginning to work well together. Abandoned me for that disgusting clown who treats you as yet another subordinate. And who beats you, evidently. This is my home. I can invite whomever I want to stay in my guestroom, including my friend Selina, who laid claim to this bed long before you. Now," she cleared her throat expectantly. "Why are you here? Besides your obvious need for medical care, which your clown man clearly couldn't be bothered to provide."
"Uh, well, I…" think I'm dying and Mistah J doesn't have any supplies and I don't wanna go to the hospital. "Missed ya, Red. I was thinking about the job we pulled and feelin' bad about ditchin' ya before breakfast. Thought maybe we could try that again."
Ivy was silent for a long moment, eyes still locked intently on Harley's—like she was trying to draw the truth out of her expression. The brunette—Selina, Harley had learned—was glancing between them, clearly intrigued.
"Fine," the redhead finally acquiesced. "You can stay here for tonight. Follow me to the bathroom. You look extremely unwell."
And with that, Ivy turned, leaving Harley to clamor off of the bed herself and limp after her down the hall. Selina followed close behind, peering over her shoulder into the bathroom as Harley entered, finding Ivy running a washcloth under warm water in the sink.
"Go ahead, sit down," Selina instructed, nodding to the closed seat of the toilet. And from her tone of voice Harley thought she sounded almost…concerned? But that couldn't be right. They'd just met, and in pretty spectacular fashion. "Joker did this to you?" she asked, leaning down to examine Harley closer once she was sitting down. "Fuck, you look like a sack of moldy eggplants."
Ivy looked over her shoulder at that comment, blindly pulling the first aid kit from beneath the sink. "An apt assessment."
"Yeah, Puddin'…" Harley raised her arm to bashfully rub the back of her neck, but she found she couldn't lift it any higher than her shoulder. "He can get a little rough sometimes…but it's—it's not like he means it or nothing. He ain't a bad guy underneath it all. Just gets mad sometimes, ya know?"
Selina laughed, but the sound was devoid of any humor. "Princess, this doesn't exactly look like his hand slipped. And my boyfriend beats the shit out of yours on a regular basis, but he'd never lay a hand on me."
Now Harley was confused. Nobody could beat her Puddin'. No one but… "Is…is your boyfriend…are you datin' Batsy?!"
"Selina likes to play the field," Ivy explained, moving the brunette out of her way so that she could get to Harley. "Currently she's balancing two equally vapid male suitors—of which Batman is one, yes."
Harley's jaw would have dropped open if her face didn't hurt so much. "So then you're…"
"Catwoman, yes," Selina finished for her, leaning against the sink to watch the healing process begin.
"Uh…OK…wow, so you're the cat burglar Red was talkin' about, then," Harley realized.
"Truly the only one worth mentioning," Selina chuckled.
Harley guessed it made sense Poison Ivy would be friends with Catwoman for the same reason Harley would be friends with her. There just weren't alotta ladies in the costume game.
The blonde was pulled from her thoughts when Ivy rubbed her arm down with the warm washcloth, cleaning away some of the dirt and dried blood. Frowning at the open wounds, Ivy grabbed for a bottle she'd set on the floor and began to squirt it in every bloody crevice that littered Harley's arms.
"Oww!" Harley screeched, not at all ready for the intensity of the stinging that was now worming its way inside her cuts. The liquid fizzed, spilling out of her arms and onto the ground.
"Well," Ivy sighed, wiping the bubbles away with the washcloth. "It's certainly safe to say these wounds are infected. Did he hit you with his fist or use a metal implement? Because, if the weapon was metal, it requires a completely different treatment."
"Uh…" Harley had to think. Everything had just sorta hurt, and she'd closed her eyes, so she couldn't exactly remember. "Nah, I think his hands and boots."
Ivy's jaw was impossibly tight. "Steel-toe?"
Harley swallowed, electing to nod rather than offer a verbal response.
Straightening to her full height, the redhead turned to Selina. "Draw her a bath, please. I'll be back shortly." And then she was gone, leaving at a quick pace.
Selina waited until her footsteps had disappeared to do what she was told, glancing sideways at Harley as she did. "People who treat their loved ones like that? That's sub-human behavior," she muttered, testing the water that spilled forth from the faucet, and setting the stopper in. "Sub-human," she repeated just as Ivy returned, a coffee mug in her hand.
"Drink this," Ivy instructed before she had a chance to respond.
Harley's hand shook as she reached out to take it, so Ivy moved closer, kneeling down beside her and guiding the cup to her lips, the liquid burning as it slid down her esophagus.
"Ugh, what is that?!" last time Ivy gave her something, she basically got superpowers, so, even though this one tasted bad, she was actually a little excited.
"Whiskey," Ivy intoned. "You're going to need it." She then set the cup down, taking the scissors from the cup on the sink and slicing Harley's costume down the back. Harley yelped, but was ultimately too weak to stop her. "Now isn't the time for modesty," Ivy chided, helping to pull her arms out of the red and black sleeves, leaving Harley in just her sports bra, which the redhead expertly removed next.
Harley raised her hands to cover her now bare breasts, but found the movement hurt. So she guessed it was a good thing Ivy wasn't looking. Her green eyes were aimed right below, studying the bruising around her ribcage, raising warm hands to gently press around the affected areas. The blonde winced automatically, instinctively jerking away, which only made the pain worse.
"You have at least three broken ribs," Ivy said with all the personality of an ER doctor on the graveyard shift. "With the accelerated healing my serum provided, they should take around three days to heal. As for the infection…." Ivy again reached under the sink, this time for a glass jar filled with pink liquid, which she promptly dumped in its entirety into the filling tub. "A bath today and two more tomorrow should remedy that, but I'd still like to keep an eye on you tonight."
Selina cleared her throat to excuse herself. "I'll go get you something to sleep in…"
"Here, hold onto my shoulders," Ivy offered, and Harley did what she was told, sitting up off the toilet lid just high enough for Ivy to help her slip the remainder of her costume off her hips and down her thighs.
Harley was blushing furiously at this point, but again, Ivy seemed rather impassive in reaction to Harley's nudity, which should have definitely been a relief to Harley, but there was an odd…jealousy? Taking root in her gut. Probably because of how she'd reacted to seeing Ivy naked. But she got it, Ivy was a temptress, people were meant to react that way to seeing her. A goddess, essentially. Perfect in every way. Harley was just…Harley.
Ivy was helping her to her feet now and into the bath, one leg and then the other. When Harley was safely settled, enveloped in the warm water, Ivy lathered up a loofa with yet another strange liquid, running her unbelievably soft hand down Harley's shoulder before following it with the loofa, scrubbing first her shoulder and then her back, washing all the grime away, all the blood, all the…hurt.
Harley remembered that first morning she'd woken up here. Remembered how blissful the ambiance was. How safe she'd felt once she was in Ivy's presence. And how strange that made her feel. How uncomfortable it was to not constantly feel on edge.
Without thinking, Harley turned her head to quickly kiss Ivy's hand—the one that was scrubbing a laceration on her shoulder. She didn't know why she did it—the infection, and she was probably on her way to drunk—but her face burnt so hot Harley was afraid for a minute that maybe Ivy had accidently poisoned her.
"Thank you," Harley squeaked, fearing the silence, as Ivy evidently deemed that little piece of weirdness unworthy of a response. "For helping me. I didn't know where else to go."
"If you'd stayed, this wouldn't have happened in the first place," Ivy quietly reminded her.
Ivy left her alone for a while after that, she could be heard talking to Selina out in the hallway before the brunette retreated to the guestroom. By that time, the water was cooling off, and Ivy stepped back inside to wrap her in a towel, helping her out of the bath, and encouraging her to lean against the sink so that she could dry her off.
Ivy's movements were slow and measured, strong hands rubbing the soft towel into her skin. Harley nearly moaned when she reached her upper thigh. The sound was sort of choked, and she tried to play it off like a whimper of pain, but Ivy's smirk told her she'd been unsuccessful.
Harley knew Ivy hadn't been a medical doctor, but she was pretty impressed at how quickly she applied the bandages, wrapping each wound in soft gauze that had an oddly comforting affect. Like Harley was being 'held'.
This time, Ivy turned away when Harley dropped the towel to button the shirt she'd been given. Though she needed help with the shorts, so closer contact was unavoidable.
Harley closed her eyes as she rested her weight on Ivy's shoulders, stepping into the shorts Selina had brought her. She thought she may have felt Ivy's fingers linger against her backside, seeming to use it as leverage to pull herself to her full height. And that was—yeah, that was fine. Leverage was fine. Her ass could be a handle. What else are asses for?
They walked together down the now familiar hallway, much of Harley's weight supported on Ivy's shoulder, the redhead adjusting her pace to make sure Harley made it to the room with as little pain as possible.
And if Harley thought the guest bed looked nice, oowee! If every inch of Harley's body didn't hurt, she'd have done a cannon ball onto the fluffy comforter.
"Looks so cozy…" Harley whispered, tone laced with legitimate awe.
"I don't do well with cold," Ivy muttered like her bedset needed explaining. "You don't have to use all the blankets, if you don't want to."
"No, I—I like blankets," was Harley's awkward answer.
"If you say so," Ivy's smile was faint, but still visible as she pulled the comforter and sheets back for Harley, helping her climb in before circling around the other side and doing the same. "Try your best to remain on your back," she instructed, reaching over to tuck the blanket around Harley's shoulder. "If you need anything before morning, or find yourself in more pain, don't hesitate to wake me. I'm a light sleeper."
"Yeah, OK, Red," Harley smiled despite herself. "I'll let'cha know."
/
It was incredibly hot. Almost uncomfortably so.
Ivy didn't do well with cold, but there was generally a comfortable balance of heat in her room, she made sure of that. And the comforter wasn't too thick, especially not now in the late summer.
Blinking her eyes open, waiting for them to adjust to the dark, Ivy began to make out the feel of something soft and warm pressed up against her. She didn't even have time to be confused before the something huffed and sighed, breath tickling Ivy's neck.
Harley was twisted around her like a vine, one leg threaded between both of hers, injured arm slung over her slim waist. Her lips brushed the delicate skin of Ivy's neck, continuing to tickle as she mumbled gibberish in her sleep.
Ivy lay completely still, staring up at the darkened ceiling, wide eyed, too afraid to move for fear of waking her cuddly partner.
There was…an odd feeling, creeping into her chest. It was fluttery, light…not a heavy weight like she'd expected. Not the way she'd felt reading Harley's note.
In fact, the hurt she'd felt upon her return was gone. It vanished, and she grew lighter with each of Harley's murmurs, with every gentle squeeze the blonde gave her.
Harley seemed to exude pure body heat, she was like a little furnace. But still, Ivy didn't move. Letting her eyes slide shut again, she sunk deeper into the mattress, a small smile curling her lips when Harley shifted and nuzzled her shoulder, fine hair tickling her chin. It had been a long time since Ivy had been in such close company with another human.
And even longer since she'd wanted it.