I'm SO sorry about updating this so late! I got sidetracked, with Halloween and Life4Fang Day, and then NaNoWriMo starting... anyway.
Okay, so I decided to this chapter the normal way, since I didn't really get feedback on it.
Another thing, whoever can figure out how long Max has been awake can ask any question about this fanfic.
If Max was asleep for a while, which I don't remember if she was or not, then how long was she awake before that? And how long has she been awake since then?
You can ask ANY question about this fanfic. I will answer truthfully. I promise. :)
Also, something important! I made a cover for this fanfic! :D I was bored one day, and... Thus. Go here to check it out! The link's also on my profile. (Be sure to dump the spaces!)
http:// veraamberwi. deviantart. com/art/Matter-over-Mind-Cover-141678669
Whaddya think, guys?
The everyone-start-dancing and the Nudge-and-Gazzy-making-out things in the last chapter were Lily's (Lilyth's Flock) ideas. Sorry I forgot to give you credit, Lily!
And, final thing, someone helped me with the chapter, and I have absolutely no idea who. It might've been a number of people, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that Skits helped me some, as did M.G...
Disclaimer: Vera owns, like, zilch. James Patterson owns Maximum Ride, and M.G owns Molly the Paratog... I think. However, Vera DOES own the plot, the OCs, and Da Llama Show, so to stealing!
Previously, on Matter over Mind...
aNYWAY, THE ELEPHANTS FINALLY GOT TIRED, AND ALL OF THE LITTLE- ER... MEDIUM-SIZED- ER... YOU KNOW WHAT? nEVERMIND.
aNYWAY, THE ELEPHANTS FINALLY GOT TIRED, AND THEY DISAPPEARED IN A CLOUD OF RADIOACTIVE SMOKE.
i WONDER WHY THE SMOKE IS RADIOACTIVE? i THOUGHT TO MYSELF, THEN SHOOK MY HEAD.
yUKI COMMENTED, "i GUESS THIS ISN'T AN ELEPHANT GRASSLAND ANYMORE, SEEING AS WHO THEY'RE AREN'T ANYMORE ELEPHANTS..."
"wHERE ARE WE, ANYWAY?" eLLA ASKED HIM.
"eRM... sOUTH dAKOTA?"
wE ALL SHOUTED, "what!?"
And now...
This story starts out at a mall, then headed through a pool, a theater, a television station, a Wal-Mart,a graveyard, a battlefield reenactment scene, an airplane hangar, quite a few funny farms, a McDonald's that grows cherries on its rood, a Minkle Fur Company store in the McNational Mall of the Steaks of Americanian Canadia, the Oak Tower, a millipede growing farm, a twig mentoring station, a Cheeto factory, and, of course, an elephant grassland. In this chapter, we start out in an elephant grassland, then head through a dreaded Quiditch field.
We all stared at him like he was nutzoid. TOTALLY NUTZOID!
"South Dakota!?" I asked incredulously.
"South Dakota." he confirmed.
"Why South Dakota?"
"Because that's where the only elephant grassland in the country it, that's why!" Iggy shouted.
We all stared at HIM like he was nutzoid. TOTALLY NUTZOID! Anyway...
That's when it started raining gumballs. Angel squeed like a FANGirl and hid under my shirt. Nudge starts snatching gumballs out of the air and popping them into her mouth. As I tried to get Angel out of my shirt, I smacked Nudge over the head. 'You're going to get sick!"
She shrugged and shoved some more gumballs into her mouth. Fang screamed, "THE GUMBALLS! THEY BURN!"
Janica patted him on the head. "It's alright Fanangy, it's never rained for more than forty consecutive days..."
Gazzy and Iggy started throwing gumballs at each other. You could hear the little PINGs as the gumballs ricocheted off the birdkids. I have no idea how Iggy kept hitting Gazzy right on the forehead, considering how bad has aim had been when the creepies had been chasing us through Wal-Mart...
Yuki started dancing like a maniac. Or a fanfiction writer on a sugar high. "Hi yee to gah fah tweh tee yuh pok deh truh!" he sang in a high-pitched voice. Then he started tap dancing, still singing that nonsensical song, if it can be called a song.
Dr. M shouted, "PIE!" and dived under Yuki's truck. Ella shouted, "STAND IN THE RAIN! STAND YOUR GROUND! STAND UP WHEN IT'S ALL CRASHING DOWN!"
Gazzy suddenly said, "Hey, Iggy, how are you?"
Iggy shrugged. "Apricoty, I guess."
Gazzy blinked. "Don't you mean plummy?"
Iggy shrugged again. "What about you?"
"Plummy, I guess."
Janica marched over. "It's peachy, you idiots, not apricoty or plummy!"
They stared at her, then said, "Oh."
Yuki stopped singing and piped up, "I thought it was pluoty."
Ella smacked him. "No, it's peachy! Idiot..."
I blinked. "Isn't a pluot just a plum/apricot?"
Janica and Ella nodded.
"Then would a Grapple be a grape/apple?"
Janica said, "Uh, I gue-" but Ella cut her off. "No, actually, a Grapple is an apple treated with natural and artificial grape flavoring, not a true hybrid as is widely believed."
Janica and I said, "Oh."
Then it stopped raining gumballs, which was good. Angel got out of my shirt, and asked, "What "schsheese", Max?"
"Um... no clue."
"Me neither." Ella said.
Dr. M jogged over to us. "You guys don't know what schsheese is!?"
Janica said, "And you do?"
"Um... no. I was just surprised that you didn't know."
We all looked at each other, and cracked up. Well, everyone except Nudge cracked up. Nudge jumped into a handstand, reminding me of Mom, and handwalked (?) over to us, reminding me even more of Mom. Then she jumped to her feet, once again reminding me of Mom, and pointed at my mom. "S'not funny!" she screamed. We stared at her.
(A/N: You know what I REALLY hate? When people say "scream" as another form of "yell" or "shout". IT'S NOT! When someone "screams" something, it's ten times more dramatic then when they "shout" or "yell" something! And people don't seem to get that! Grrr...)
"It's... not... funny...?" I tried.
She poked my nose. "S'NOT!"
Janica said, "I find it ironic that she's poking your nose and shouting "SNOT!"..."
Nudge spun around and poked Janica's nose. "S'not funny, either!"
Janica blinked, then poked Nudge's nose. "I don't give a s'not what you think about it!"
Nudge blinked, then poked Janica's nose again. "S'NOT FUNNY!"
Janica poked Nudge's nose repeatedly. "I DON'T GIVE A S'NOT ABOUT YOUR SNOT!"
They got into a nose-poking fight that lasted for a few hours. We just stared at them. Finally, the collapsed away from each, panting from the effort of poking each other's noses for so long.
Then Yuki disappeared, and it felt like he had never been there in the first place... it was a really weird feeling. And then, suddenly, all of us were standing in Mom's living room again. Oh... kay... maybe the teleportation device was acting up again? -nervous giggle-
Suddenly the doorbell rang, AGAIN! I mean, yikes! You'd think, with how many times it's been wrung, it'd've broken by now! But no-o-o...
Some guy wearing a plaid checkered shirt who looked EXACTLY like Yuki said, "I'm here to take you guys to an elephant grassland!"
We stared at him.
"Uh, Yuki, you already did that..." Ella trailed off.
"I did?" he asked. "Damn it."
I smacked him upside the head. "LANGUAGE!"
"Ow..."
Okay, so maybe smacking Yuki upside the head for saying "damn it" was a little extreme, but it sure as heck felt good!
Out of nowhere, a little furry creature that looked like a mix between a dog, a parrot, and a cat ran up. "Hi!" it said. "I'm Molly the Paratog!"
(A/N: -grins at M.G- Molly the Paratog has made an appearance!)
Then Molly the Paratog ran down. (She ran up to run towards us, so it'd make sense for her to run down if she were running away from us, right? -silence- Right? -more silence- Nevermind...)
Nudge suddenly gasped. "Da Llama Show starts tonight!"
We all gasped with her, and rushed to the TV to turn it on. We got it on the right channel just at the show started.
Thirteen girls that, for some reason, I recognized, said in unison, "Welcome to Epii Un of Da Llama Show!"
The screen switched to a bunch of llamas dancing a weird pattern. Music started playing.
The world cracked in half
The world... cuh-cracked... in ha-half!
Can you... c-c-can you... ya-you... can you... just take it... take it to the top?
Oh, my, just just fly, live in the life, and take a fun t-t-trafffffffic!
Really, it's not, it's not, so s'not
LL-LL-LL-LL-LLAMAS!
Or maybe... muh-muh MAY BAE!
Roll it twice, Just The Dice!
SHOW MAEEEEEEEEEEEE! The wind to the- fry- fr- f- fry- fr-!
Evyown, jump the funce! The funkae funce! Duh fence! Yeh-heh-hah-haeeeee!
The screen switched back to those thisrteen girls. "And that's the end of Epii Un of Da Llama Show! Tune into tomorrow night for the epical Epii Deux! Now here's a sneak peek." They winked.
A lone llama danced across the screan. Trip-obly-uple-dee-cara dimity
The thirteen girls bowed, and it went to commercial.
(A/N: If you want to see what the dancing llamas look like, go here: http : // cookiemagik . deviantart . com / art / llama-cancan-115303000 (Make sure to dump the spaces, and please note that I didn't create it!))
Then everyone in the room, including me, started jumping around and squeeing.
We all watched Everyone In The Room, Including Me, who I will, from now on, call EITRIM, jump around and squee. It was pretty interesting, actually.
Then EITRIM stopped jumping around and squeeing and quickly ran out of the room. We all shrugged and, like we always do, lazed around for quite a while.
Enter sudden time lapse... here. A twenty-three hour time lapse, to be exact. Why twenty-three? Well, you'll see. (A/N: That rhymed!)
Show me how to move my gruh-rave-oove, I tell ya, mae gruh-rave-oove!
Trip-obly-uple-dee-cara dimity, traverse teh lands of common sense, vivity
Hare the hair, duh-un-dun. fare the fair
Save it? Trave it? Crave it? Rave it? Pave it? Lave it?
No, that-tih duh-nent rhyme, fa-thyme, rhyme!
Bed heads and the air heads and the co-me-dy
An tea dust ee stab leash men tear ee uh nism!
FUNKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY flabby kah-doozles
Picture moment, Kadok pawls!
The screen switched to those thirteen girls, yet again. "And that's the end of Epii Deux of Da Llama Show! Tune in tomorrow night for the epical Epii Trois! Now here's a sneak peek." They winked again.
Like last night, a single llama danced across the screen. Schechesse misspellationallly worse
EITRIM ran back into the room and started jumping around and squeeing again. Everyone in the room, including me, joined in with EITRIM's jumping around a squeeing.
Eventually, we all stopped jumping around and squeeing, and EITRIM ran back out of the house.
After that, all of us ran through the house to our rooms. Like I said before, Fang and I shared a room, so that's where we headed. Ella and Iggy also shared a room, so they headed there, and Nudge and Gazzy shared a room, as well. Janica found an empty room and shared it with Yuki, while Jeb disappeared and Mom headed off to her bedroom, which she didn't share with anyone.
Anyway.
It was two days and approximately three hours of sleep later that we learned that Yuki had a sister named Attalia. How did we find this out? Well, Attalia arrived at our door.
"Yuki!" she shouted when she saw him. She glomped him, and he squealed like a little girl until he realized that it was her. "Oh, hey Attalia!"
Attalia picked herself off the ground, brushed herself off, then said, looking up at us, "Hi! I'm Attalia, Yuki's sister. Who are you guys?"
We all looked at each, then gave our names.
"Macks."
"Fang."
"Iggy."
"Ella."
"Janica."
"Nudge."
"Gazzy."
"Angel."
"Total."
"Woof."
"Woof2."
"Valencia."
"Jeb."
"Ah..." Attalia said, nodded for no particular reason.
"Why are you here?" I queried. She shrugged. "Just passing through... I heard Yuki was here, and I just HAD to stop by. Hey, you wouldn't happen to be those nutty birdkids, would you?"
"Uh... yeah, actually."
She squeed, they starting running around and huggling all of us. Oh-kay... I thought. She's a nutcase. Fo' sho'. I blinked. Where did that come from!? I mentally and physically shook my head.
My eyes bugged out when I glanced at the clock. "DA LLAMA SHOW COMES ON IN TWO MINUTES!"
We all rushed towards the TV. Within seconds, we were watching the commercials, waiting for Epii Trois of Da Llama Show to start. Then it did.
The thirteen girls did what they normally did, then the dancing llamas popped up, and the music started.
Show me duh fwooo...
Penta hoosit questionaire gigantical people taht be purple!
FLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY llllllammas!
Schechesse misspellationallly worse
The leans aren't-tuh long eeeeeeeeenuhf so we're meerkatting them lost longuh liek withththththth-th thissss!
But wai', dat was two two loooong!
Ci-ao peopls like why-duh-lee ooooohhhhh...
Almost done widdi skit but not quite, yo' yo' yo'?
PLY DAY FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY!
Plagariasm... Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom!
We all squeed, and the girls did what they normally did. Here's the sneak peek they gave us: Drain-o queenz
"So..." Attalia said. "What the heck is that show about?"
We all looked at her like she's grown another head.
"What!? I'm curious! It just seems like a bunch of llamas doing the Cha Cha Slide while singing gibberish!"
Nudge fainted while we all gasped.
"Da Llama Show," I said, "is the embodiment of everything llama and musical! It is THE show to watch!"
"If it's "THE" show to watch, then why have I never heard of it?"
Angel, Valencia, Gazzy, Akila, and Jeb fainted.
"You've never heard of it," Ella explained, "because you travel a lot. Right?"
Attalia was hesitant. "I guess so... But I still don't see what's so great about it."
Janica, Total, Yuki, and Magnolia fainted. That left me, Fang, Ella, Iggy, and Attalia. Attalia blinked. "Why is everyone fainting?"
Fang shrugged while Iggy stole everyone's popcorn. Yeah, that's right - popcorn. Someone, not sure who, had ran off to the kitchen and cooked seven regular-sized bags of popcorn, so we could eat it while we watched Da Llama Show.
Fang suddenly dragged me off to our bedroom, presumably so we could make out, while Iggy dragged Ella of to their bedroom, leaving Attalia in the middle of the living room. She just kinda stood there, waiting for us to come back or for the others to wake up. Problem is, they never woke up, and we never came back.
...
...
...
...
...
Nah, just kidding. A few minutes later, Yuki woke up, and Attalia and Yuki had a looong talk about something or other while Fax and Eggy occurred and while the others woke up.
Eventually, Mom yelled, "Evyown, get in the dining room! I made dinner!"
We all ran though the house towards the dining room, where the fourteen of us quickly situated ourselves around the dining room table. The Johns magically appeared and joined us for dinner, too, which meant that there were seventeen people at the table in total. Then Norman, Larry, Scarlett, Twizzles, Ari, Skittles, Vera, and M.G ran in, which meant that there were twenty-two of us around the table.
Somehow, there were enough chairs and food for everyone. I had no idea that the table was that big, that we had this many chairs, and that Mom had cooked so much food, but hey...
We all munched the turkey and mashed potatoes dinner, even though Thanksgiving wasn't for another twenty days. I guess Mom was preparing us for the great onslaught of food on the 26th, or something...
Janica suddenly piped up, "Did any of you notice how in exactly one week, it's Sexily Day, and exactly one week after that, New Moon comes out, and exactly one week after that, it's Black Friday?"
We all looked at each other, and realized she was right.
Nudge raised her cup of fruit juice into the air. "To Fridayness!"
"To Fridayness!" we echoed, and then we all slurped our fruit juice. Don't ask me why we were all drinking fruit juice, because I honestly don't know.
In case you haven't read the newest chapters of Nutty or don't read it at all, the "schsheese" thing was a reference to it. And Chrissy/Prissy the Cough Drop stole my raining gumball idea! -rants- (Actually, I think it was Skits' idea, but still...)
Um, yeah... also, I have this AWESOME idea for the next chapter. If Phoenix Fanatic ever reads the next chapter, she'll probably get it like that. -snaps fingers-
Also, here's a suggestion that Saint (St. Fang of Boredom) gave me for this chapter:
"Fang: Random Idea: Man-Eating Pickle Kittens.
Saint: Then, I marry Fang and Max goes emo and cuts herself, but the pickle kittens feel sorry for her and take her in to become one of them, so she is raised by the pickle kittens and one day returns as a full-fledged pickle kitten samurai so as to fight me to win back Fang, but, unfortunately, is beaten up by our daughter Athena who has the power to summon up flying giant orange crickets who can shoot out silly putty from their legs so Max is forced to go back to the isle of the pickle kittens and regroup her forces for the next assault, only to be kidnapped by Omega who has become a rockstar in Moldova and he forces her into marriage and they have a son named SuperFly who grows up to marry Athena, thus forcing a truce between the two feuding families, except on Thanksgiving where we attempt to poison each other with platypus venom."
-grin-
R&R?