Chapter 10

Edward's ears perked up as he heard the Volvo pull up outside the house. His body tensed – he was furious with Jasper after the episode today. He stood to go meet him outside, but was thwarted by Bella's hand touching his arm.

"Edward, calm down. He's obviously had a really rough day." Well, more than usual, she added.

He pulled his arm free gently, half-acknowledging her warning. The entire family was sitting in the living room waiting for Jasper to return. Esme was a mess, Carlisle gravely concerned, Emmett annoyed. It had been hard on everyone since the incident as they tried to learn to juggle their own grief over the loss, as well as Jasper's worsening condition, all while to staying sensitive to his pain-induced mood swings.

He practically slammed the door off of its hinges as he met Jasper on the driveway.

Jasper nodded. "Edward."

"Where the hell have you been?" Edward spit out, almost cutting him off. "Esme is falling apart, not to mention the entire family. Bella is barely keeping it together."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I know, Edward. You think I'm not aware of that? I know this is hard for everyone."

"Then start acting like it. You can't just run off somewhere without telling us where or how long," he paused to keep control of himself. "We're your family."

Jasper set his things on the hood of the car and approached Edward. "Really? I seem to recall similar behavior exhibited by yourself not too long ago. Why is it all the sudden not okay for me to need time alone?"

"We had no idea where you were. And that…that was different. I was trying to keep myself from destroying our life in Forks, not to mention myself. From the sound of things, you threw a temper tantrum this afternoon and stormed away."

"You don't know what happened this afternoon," he snapped. He began to pace, trying to keep calm. Edward stepped closer, talking louder with each exclamation.

"Then tell me, Jasper. Talk to me. Talk to all of us. You've still got people to turn to, you know."

Jasper snapped around to Edward, yelling now. "I can't run to the person I love the most when I'm falling apart, Edward. That's not how my life works anymore." He tried desperately to collect himself as he spoke. "I went to her with everything. Every… single thing. I'm sorry if you're upset, but all I know how to do right now is to run away." He shook his head, trying to make sense of all of the feelings pulsing through his head. Edward stood, silenced by the outburst, and took in what was flowing through Jasper's head. He heard Amber's words of encouragement. He saw Alice smiling, telling Jasper to go home – her face and voice nearly sent Edward into his own spiral of emotion. Then, through all of it, Edward saw Anna and the scene that had played out in the parking lot today. He saw her next to Jasper in class. He felt Jasper's frustration, which was beginning to mix heavily with unnerving affection.

Jasper sighed and grabbed his things from the car and began walking back into the house. He stopped in front of Edward. "Don't tell anybody. I'm still figuring this out." Edward nodded, and followed slowly behind Jasper as he went inside.

Jasper tried to ignore the five pairs of golden eyes that he felt on his back as he hung his coat by the stairs. He sighed and turned to face them. He could feel their concern, especially Esme's. Edward was right – she was a mess. He felt a little guilty for making her worry so much. He looked down at the book, tapping it against his palm. He eased the tension steadily, trying to redeem the situation. He had been rash today. It was a tantrum. He knew that; he also knew that nothing made sense right now, and he certainly wasn't going to try to make it so. He looked back up at them and shrugged.

"I'm fine." Nothing. He looked down at his book again. "I…I'm working through it."

He turned to go upstairs, but he stopped as Esme spoke, her voice laced with anxiety and worry. "Jasper…" She walked up to him as he turned to face her. He knew if she could, she would be crying right now. That upset him. He smiled at her half-heartedly, not sure what to say.

It was then that Carlisle caught a fragment of the headline on the folded newspaper that peeked out of the inside pocket of Jasper's coat. He couldn't see the entire story, but it was enough to spike his interest.

"What do you have there?" He pointed at the coat. This broke Jasper's gaze with Esme, and he looked back at the coat rack, which he had forgotten about until now. He turned back to Carlisle, who noted the concern that had replaced the angst on Jasper's face.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He looked at Edward, knowing he'd he probably already knew all about the article through Jasper's 'eyes'.

Carlisle took the baton and moved to walk upstairs, putting his hand on Jasper's shoulder as a signal to come with him. "Well, everyone seems to be alright. I don't think it calls for any hovering." He shot a playful, yet reassuring smile to his wife, who laughed and nodded lightly.

The two began walking up the stairs, Edward following. Jasper continued, but Carlisle stopped Edward. "Let me talk to him alone."

"Carlisle, I won't be left out of this discussion. That article…"

He rested his hand on Edward's shoulder, taking on a direct reflection of a father figure. "I'll tell you about it later, I promise. I want to talk to him, one on one."

But he continued to protest, "Look, I know what happened today and I'd like to-"

"I know you do. And I think it'd be good for him to be able to talk to someone who doesn't know every intimate detail of his grief as it happens. I want to talk to him alone for a little while." Edward gave an abrupt nod in compliance, which Carlisle returned with a grateful smile before meeting Jasper upstairs in his office.

Carlisle found him staring at his wall of photos, fixated on a portrait of he and Esme from the early 1900s. His heart wrenched for Jasper's pain. How was he to help him recover? A vampire losing a loved one is far more crushing than a human – vampires must live with the loss for eternity. How were any of them to fully recover? He shook the thoughts from his head, trying to focus on the issue at hand – the newspaper and, more importantly, Jasper's happiness.

"May I see it?" Jasper looked to the ground for a split second, obviously finding himself in his thoughts. He pulled the folded newspaper out of its pocket and handed it to Carlisle, who read through it in seconds.

He sat on the edge of his desk and folded his arms, resting his chin in his left hand. He stared at the floor as he spoke. "It says they've been happening for weeks. Weeks…"

"I know. All the stigmas are there, too. They're labeling them as animal attacks."

"It's an animal all right." He tossed the paper on the desk, which lay front page up with a large headline reading, DEATHS PLAGUING FORESTS STILL A MYSTERY.

"Do we stop them?"

"I don't know. We don't know what we're dealing with – it could be a newborn. There could be more than one. We don't know what kind of abilities they possess." It didn't work out very well for us last time, he thought gloomily.

"The Volturi will find out. They'll put and end to it. They'll come here." Carlisle sighed. "We have to stop it ourselves, Carlisle. The Volturi are the last thing we need in our lives right now."

The doctor stood back up and looked out the window, knowing what must happen to preserve their life here. "I'll put out word for some nearby covens to begin looking around…and to join us, if it comes to that."

"Do we need them to?"

"None of us are in the condition to fight on our own. There's too much that's happened too recently."

The soldier in Jasper began to arouse as he began analyzing the situation. "Carlisle, we're strong. There can't be that many of them – three, maybe four at the most. And there are eight of…" He trailed off, calming himself down. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "Seven… of us."

He locked eyes with Carlisle – the one thing he had wanted to avoid. Carlisle was going to ask questions, and wants he was staring at him straight in the eye there was no refusing him.

"Jasper, you are a part of this family. I won't let you deal with this alone." The younger vampire didn't respond. "Tell me how you are doing."

"You know how I'm doing."

"No. I know that you are in a stage of immense grief. I know it's been difficult. I know you're having conflicting feelings about that girl from the university. Jasper, tell me how you are doing."

"I'm…" he looked away as he searched for a way to describe how exactly he was doing, but soon found that he didn't even know. What did these feelings for Anna mean? How had his experience that afternoon in Vancouver affected him? And how come no matter how many things are distracting him, they don't drown out her voice or her face or her scent?

He turned his attention to Carlisle's loving eyes. They were filled with concern and compassion. He truly cared about what he was going through.

"I don't know." Carlisle slowly nodded, waiting for Jasper to continue. "She's everywhere." Carlisle didn't move. "It hurts. Physically." He looked at the floor again. "Mentally. Emotionally." He looked back at Carlisle. "Spiritually."

Carlisle took in his sparse confession. He knew Jasper, and Jasper was not one to use the term spirit lightly – or ever, really. He knew Jasper had more questions haunting concerning Anna, but he didn't want to push him. "Okay."

There was a long, awkward pause. Carlisle continued to watch Jasper, who tried desperately to avoid his gaze. "May I go?"

"Yes." He took the paper and held it up. "I'll have some friends in that area do a little… research. We'll keep an eye on the situation."

Jasper nodded and swiftly escaped the office.