A/N: You people make me so mad!! No one has reviewed about them all getting stuck in a cave!! I am so mad! Vengeance will be mine!! Here comes the apocalypse!! Or not. Sorry. Just review the last chapters and everything will be ok. Get it? Got it? Good.

Meanwhile, outside the cave named Annon edhellen...

Legolas has been skipping around, dancing like a pansy. In his time of joy, he has neglected the fact that there was a bad effect on his hair from the conditioner. Waltzing around, he has been looking like a goon. Suddenly, the camera shot goes down to the ground, where we see a massive chunk of blonde hair on the ground. Though it's lying in the dirt, it's sparkly clean. And then, we see the back of Lego's head, where a big chunk of hair is missing.

Meanwhile, inside Annon edhellen...

Aragorn and Eowyn have been separated from the group. Uh, this can't possible be good for a story. I mean...whatever.

"Dear, are you alright?" Aragorn asks.

"I think so!" Eowyn answers.

"Are you injured?" Aragorn asks.

"I twisted my ankle!" Eowyn screams.

Suddenly, like in those funny soap operas, a rock falls on Eowyn's head and she goes into a coma.

"Sammi!" Aragorn says, then realizes that he is not Chad and she is not Sammi and they are not in General Hospital. "Uh, I mean, Eowyn!"

She is busy being knocked out, passed out, and in a coma.

"Dear! I promise, if I have to revive you with my own breath, I will! Hold on! We'll get you to a hospital!" Aragorn says, picking Eowyn up in his arms.

It suddenly dawns on him that they are stuck in a cave.

"Dang!"

---------------

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the cave...

Elrond is busy freaking out, while Sam is thinking over the situation.

"Elrond! For heaven's sake, behave like a man!" Sam says.

"I'm only half man!!" Elrond screams.

"Well, behave like half a man and half a...what are you?" Sam asks, puzzled.

"I'm an ELF, damnit! See the ears??" Elrond asks, going ballistic.

"Relax! Please. Let's calm down and discuss our lives." Sam says.

"Alright."

"Now, I was born to Hamfast Gamgee. I never knew my mother. She died when I was two or something. That's when I started to eat to calm myself down. I mean, I ate more. Frodo was a real idiot when we were growing up. He was always calling me fat and telling me to call Jenny Craig. Yeah, right. So then I decided that I should play football for Hobbiton United. So I did. I was the center. I was real good. Then I broke my ankle. Auntie Marjorie had to come in from Bree and take me to the hospital there. It hurt a lot. The nice nurse, her name was Sandra, made sure I was healthy. She had an affair with my doctor, Chad, and then things turned into General Hospital. Weird. So, anyway, I got back to Hobbiton, and everything was ok. People started to call me Rudy. No idea why. So, yeah, then I went on some cock-and-bull journey, and that Elrond dude scared me with his eyebrows. Then, Boromir, that idiot, tried to kill Frodo. It was twisted. Then I came home, married Rosie, who is my sister-in-law, and had 13 kids." Sam says, rattling on and on.

Elrond has been looking at Sam with a crazed expression in his eyes. He looks insane.

"Elrond? Buddy? You ok?" Sam asks.

"ARGH!!" Elrond says, loosing his mind and trying to strangle Sam. "Freaky eyebrows, eh? Well, we'll just see about that!"

Suddenly, Elrond's left eyebrow jumps off his head and does a tap dance on a rock. Sam and Elrond look on in amazement. The eyebrow finishes and scurries away.

"That was surreal." Says Elrond.

"Freaky." Sam says.

"Can I tell you about my life?" Elrond asks.

"Sure."

"Ahem. I was born 6,078 years ago. My mother was really mean to me, and used to call me El and Rondy. It was disturbing. My father was never home, he was always out drinking or something. The Feanorians were not a happy subject matter. They always fought with each other or something. So I ran away from home. I went to someplace, where I started a lovely city called Rivendell. I seriously wanted to call it Elrond's City of Love, but no self respecting Elf would call it that.

So, anyway, I met some wild and crazy Elf chick at Lothlorien Summerfest, in the mosh. I forgot her name. Oh well. She was cool. Real cool. She and I got married, except her old man, Celeborn, wasn't a good cookie and didn't want us to get married. He said I was mentally unstable. Oh, well. She was rich and hot, so I took her to Rivendell, we got married, and then we had twins, Elrohir and Eledan, and Arwen.

Then we met this kid, Estel, and we took him in. Never take in orphans, ok? This Estel dude, he fell in love with Arwen, and then she went parading around wearing his ring! The ring of Barahir!! You know, teenagers. Punks. So, yeah. She gave him her Evenstar pendant, and then he started parading around wearing that, and then I got to thinking, This guy's a bit fruity. So then, I made up some excuse to get her away from Estel, who was called Aragorn, and I said she couldn't wed him unless he was king of Arnor and Gondor. Well, this punk became king, and I was all, Ok, Arwen, you can marry him. And then he goes and leaves! She went to the freakin' undying lands! After all my troubles, all those lies about why she couldn't marry him, she goes and leaves!!" Elrond screams, breaking down and crying.

"You were called Rondy?" Sam asks.

"Yep."

"You eloped with this 'wild and crazy elf chick'?"

"Yep."

"You called Aragorn fruity?"

"Yep."

"Whoa. You have issues."

Elrond breaks down into tears.

"There, there." Sam says, patting Elrond on the back.

"My whole life has been ruined! Everything is destroyed! I tried to kill Frodo, ya hear?" Elrond screams.

"What?"

"You know how Frodo got food poisoning in Rivendell right before he left? That was real poison! I wanted the ring! I tried to take the ring from Frodo. I would be the master of the precious! And you would all love me and despair! The ring is mine!" Elrond says, going through a Boromir, a Gollum, a Galadriel, and a Frodo moment. Eventually, he slumps over on his rock and goes unconscious.

"Wow, Elrond. You are such a disappointment." Sam says, sitting down.

"What?"

"You are a disappointment to the Elf species."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Once again, Elrond goes insane, crying his eyes out. Sam just looks on in horror.

A/N: Next up, What Gandalf did alone in the cave. Then, we'll finally find out about what happened with that mysterious crunching sound, and will Eowyn ever get up from her coma? Find out tomorrow, on Days of Our Lives: Middle Earth. I mean, in the next exciting installment of Has the Apocalypse Come Yet? Had to put in Elrond's dancing eyebrow. Yes, more poking fun at Soap Operas! Live From Annon edhellen, -Anduril