Bonded: Liri, I deem you the disclaimer person, because I'm too lazy to say it.
Liri: No saying anything to drum up excitement!?
Bonded: It'll be Epic. Yay. Go along now.
Liri: Lame!
Drek: (Jumps Liri) Payback!!!!
WITH OUR TWO HEROES, THEY ARE WONDERING ALL SORTS OF THINGS, LIKE: IS LARXENE DEAD? WHAT OF A. MELVIN? HOW ABOUT THOSE DODGERS? AND ARE THE BESAID AUROCHS GONNA WIN THE CUP?
THE ONLY ANSWER CLEAR WAS, THE AUROCHS WILL WIN IF THEY DO NOT GIVE UP NIMROOK. BUT ANYWAYS, OUR HEROES THEN FOUND THEMSELVES IN THE INTERDIMENSIONAL WORLD OF FLIPSIDE, WAITING TO SPEAK WITH A FORTUNE TELLER.
"There were definitely better ways to have started this chapter…" Exralnex said, looking at the large wall o' text above this sentence.
"Yeah," Roxas said. Roxas and Exralnex had decided that since they had no clue what to do next, they should go to a fortune teller for advice as to where to go. Using Xaldin's Yellow Pages for the Evildoer they were able to locate a fortune teller by the name of Eelvulrem.
"Does it bother you at all that the fortune teller's name looks backwards?" Exralnex asked.
"Nah, this place is called Flipside, right? Everyone probably has backwards names," Roxas said. Exralnex shrugged.
"Whatever," she said. They then walked into the tent to be greeted by a woman wearing many a bizarre robe-thing.
"Emoclew," Eelvulrem said. Roxas gaped.
"Emoclew?!? What the He--- oh, great," Roxas said. He then pulled a pad of paper out of his pocket. Exralnex sighed.
"Emoclew to you too, we were wondering if you could tell our fortune."
"Ylniatrec," Eelvulrem said and walked over to the crystal ball. "Sdnim rouy duolcnu," Exralnex walked over to Roxas who was frantically translating Eelvulrem's words.
"She just told us to uncloud our minds." Roxas said looking up. Exralnex scowled.
"This will take to long if we have to keep translating," Exralnex said, while making her staff appear out of nowhere. She then said a quick word and there was a flash of light then Eelvulrem lay on the ground quite dead. "See, if the RPG machine were still up that wouldn't have worked."
"Yeah, instead it would have said 'surprise attack!' and then we would have to fight a level 99 Mage. Anyway," Roxas said. He then ran over to the crystal ball and said a couple words. The crystal lighted up and there was some fogging inside the ball.
"What do you see?" Exralnex asked.
"Light, smoke and dust," Roxas said. "This fortune teller is obviously a fake." Roxas then tried a different word on the crystal ball and then the entire house transformed.
They were in the middle of a desert; there was a vast building in front of them…
They were in front of a large white house, in was greatly guarded…
They were in front of a weird looking wormhole…
They were in front of an evil looking man who was maniacally laughing…
They were on top of a giant ice cream cone…
"That was really weird," Exralnex said. The spell had apparently transported them back into their Gummi Ship. "Especially the part about the ice cream."
"This means that we could theoretically mean that we would travel to Candy Land! Yay!" Roxas said happily. He then became more serious. "I do remember that I've seen that building in the desert before though…" Exralnex looked at him.
"Where?" She said. Roxas snapped his fingers.
"Oh, I remember! It was back when I first came to the Organization! Xemnas wanted to celebrate Organization XIII finally having thirteen members so he took us to this one world that consisted of only a Mexican restaurant. It was really weird and probably the only time I've ever seen Xaldin in the same room with Sephiroth without a fight breaking out." Roxas said. Exralnex looked at him skeptically. "Okay, they started throwing tacos at each other. But anyways, I think that we should probably check it out." Exralnex sighed.
"I suppose we have no better leads," Exralnex said. "So let's go get some burritos."
THE TACO PLACE…
"So, Exralnex. Now what?"
"Well, this is supposedly a place dead souls come to. If they're kind and nice to their waiter, the waiter brings out the Super Resurrection Taco. Then they come back to life."
"So… Luxord, Zexion or Axel could be here…" Roxas said.
"Why aren't you saying our entire Organization?"
"If you were a waiter, would you really allow someone like Xaldin or Saix to have a Super Taco?" Roxas asked.
"Point made." Exralnex said.
A waiter walked up, and said, "This is the Taco Place."
"It's just called the Taco Place?"
"Um, yeah." The waiter looked up. "Just you two?"
"Sure…"
They were lead to a table but the waiter suddenly dropped the menus. "By Jove! You must be the Legendary Cooking Hero foretold by the Chef Prognosticus!"
Exralnex looked around. "Me?"
"Yes! I must take you to Pablo!"
ONE VERY SHORT WALK LATER…
"There is no question; this girl is the cooking hero!" Pablo said. "This means we will finally be able to pay off that massive loan we took from Supermassive Blackhole Shark's Loans and Savings!"
There was much rejoicing. "Yay!"
The waiter then asked, "But Pablo, how do we know!"
Pablo thought then said, "Point, Sir Tim, Point." He pointed at Exralnex, "Chef Hero, make the Secret Soup. I wish for it to be spicy and sour, with an aftertaste that is sweet…" He grabbed her. "Get to work!"
"Wait!" Exralnex yelled, "Don't I have a say in this?!?!" She continued, "And heck! I've never cooked before and what the heck was that about the sweet aftertaste?!"
"No! The universe will implode on its self if we aren't free of debt!"
"You know this how!?"
"The Chef Prognosticus says so…" He held the book up and pointed at one line. "If the Chef Hero doesn't go along with these terms, The Taco Place will explode. It is the dead who keep us alive, so we must keep the dead alive."
Roxas put on his glasses and read it. "What the heck does that mean?"
"Like FFX."
"Ohhhhhh…" He said in acknowledgement, "I still don't get it…"
"Whatever." Exralnex said. "So I must free this restaurant from debt?"
"Yes!"
She pulled out her soup pot, "Let's do this."
FIVE MINUTES AND TEN COMMANDS TO ROXAS LATER…
Pablo sipped the soup. "It's brilliant!"
"Yeah! Especially considering that I've never cooked before in my existence!"
"You are hired!"
"What's the pay like?"
Pablo burst out in laughter. "Ahh… pay!!! That's hilarious… oh. You weren't kidding. 25 munny an hour."
"I could slay heartless and get more money."
"Fine! 1,036 munny per customer."
"Deal!" Exralnex said. Roxas was confused.
"Does the Chef Prognosticus say anything about me?" Roxas asked. Pablo flipped through the pages.
"In this one paragraph it says that a blonde haired kid (here on referred to as BHK) will come to the Taco Place with the Legendary Cooking Hero, but BHK will quickly leave after discovering that he can't even cook rice," Pablo read. Roxas was infuriated.
"WHAT!! I can cook rice, watch!" Roxas went over to the cooking area, rolled up his sleeves and fifteen minutes later had mutated the rice into a bizarre Heartless creature that killed itself out of shame of existence. Pablo opened the Prognosticus again.
"It is also written that BHK will waste the owner's good rice trying to prove a book of prophecy wrong," Pablo said. "BHK then angrily departed for a realm called… Earth."
"Screw you guys!! I'll leave for Earth or something…" Roxas said, leaving the kitchen. He then boarded the Gummi Ship and set off for Earth.
EARTH…
He landed in Area 51. After some flashes of light, destruction, and carnage, Roxas was no longer guarded. He set off searching for somebody who could help him via using a Nobody Tracker Vexen had invented. After about ten minutes of searching, he found Vexen in a cryogenic sleeping pod.
"Vexen! Get up!"
"…"
"Grr…" Roxas took his Keyblades and smashed all the computers.
"Wha!" Vexen yelled, "Well, that was a rather unpleasant way to end a nice nap."
"Why are you here?!"
"I got to the Taco Place as soon as possible. I sucked up to the waiter a lot. I think he wasn't paid a lot, because I could use petty bribery…"
"So how'd you end up here?"
"Umm… it's a very long story Roxas and I'm not feeling like telling it."
Roxas flashed his Keyblade, and then he referenced the computer.
"O...kay… So, yes. After I was resurrected, I realized that everyone was dead. So I went on a very random journey through a place called Yaoi. A very scary place, even for me. So I went through there and eventually ended up here, on Earth. I landed in the middle of a parade where there were lots of balloons and stuff. Naturally the people this world became extraordinarily freaked out and I was forced to put the entire city of New York in a deep freeze. I escaped to find out that everyone in this world was now afraid of this condition they called Global Freezing. So I had to build a giant laser that would be used to erase to minds of everyone on earth."
"You did all of this in the time it took Exralnex and I to get some tacos?" Roxas asked.
"Uh-huh. But anyways for some reason I was arrested by a man who claimed that he represented an evil mastermind and erasing the memories of everyone on earth went against his nefarious plans. So I had to fight him in an epic battle above earth in a space station with a giant laser. Eventually I chucked him out the airlock and shot the laser at earth. Now they're back to worrying about some Global Warming or something."
"But then why were you cryogenically frozen?" Roxas said.
"Once I touched down back on Earth the government arrested me for flying a space ship without a permit and since I was an 'extraterrestrial life form' the order was given to freeze me in Area 51. I tried to tell them that even if the temperature were -900,000,000 Celsius I would still be alive but they laughed."
"So instead of breaking out to try and find the rest of the Organization you napped?!?" Roxas said angrily. Vexen looked ticked.
"I froze a city, built a giant laser, fought a man to death in an epic duel and was arrested all in the manner of a day!" Vexen said angrily. "What did you do? Kill a fortune teller and get some tacos. I think I had the right to a little sleep." Roxas nodded.
"Alright, but now we need to find them or I'll smash you."
"Fine."
AT THE TACO PLACE…
Exralnex was working hard cooking and serving dishes. Apparently she was the only cook who also had to serve as a waiter because the Chef Prognosticus said so. So she was in front manning the front desk.
"Welcome to the Taco Place," Exralnex said bored to the customers. "Please leave your swords in the large bags of holding and I would highly recommend you cancel all negative enchantments. That means you Nightmare."
"MEANIE!!" Nightmare screamed. "MY EVIL AURA GOES WHERE IT PLEASES!!!" Exralnex yawned and pushed a button on the desk. A trap door opened up under Nightmare's feet and he fell down a large chute into a pit of molten hot enchilada sauce. He didn't die; he's just too cool to die. She looked at the remaining customers who were now really scared. Exralnex smiled.
"Right this way valued customers," Exralnex said. After seating the customers and getting a waiter named Bill to get them drinks she walked back to the front desk. She looked at the clock. Fifteen minutes of this then I'm back slaving in the kitchens, she thought to herself. Then a familiar voice woke her from her slumber.
"Dude, there is no way in the fiery pits of doom that a taco can put us back into non-existence," someone said.
"Didn't you say that about Roxas not being so stupid as to heal us first before smashing the RPG machine?" another voice said.
"Good point," the first voice said. Exralnex looked over a large party of Birdpeople to see Luxord and Axel arguing.
"Hey! Axel! Luxord! Over here!" Exralnex said. Luxord groaned.
"Another fangirl…" he moaned.
"No, it's Exralnex," Axel said. Luxord looked up and grinned.
"Told you that coming to the Taco Place would be a good idea. You probably just don't like this place because you were between Xaldin and Sephiroth when they started warring," Luxord said. They both walked up to Exralnex.
"Sooo… I actually can't be your waiter because I have to start my chef shift in about fifteen minutes, but I'll tell Jimmy to take care of you. Just suck up to him and tip generously and he should give you the Super Resurrection Taco." Exralnex said. Axel moaned.
"I have to pretend that someone is superior to me? I don't think even Xemnas is superior to me…" Axel said. Luxord shrugged.
"Exralnex, why are you working at the Taco Place? I had no idea you could cook at all," Luxord asked.
"Long story, I'll tell once you've returned to non-existence," Exralnex said. "Axel, you had your soul sucked away into non-non-existence! How are you still here!?" Axel shrugged.
"Who cares?" Axel replied.
"Okay." Luxord said. "How about this? These guys were talking about this thing called a Nullifier. Apparently it nullifies the waves of RPG, or whatever electrical stim like that around an entire world! It's supposed to be on Renin, you know of it?"
"It has some of the best mercs in the universe!" Exlralnex yelled, "How in heck do you expect to get through there without some one killing you?"
"Easy! Axel will go!" Luxord said.
Axel choked on the water he was drinking. "What!?!?"
"You're the one who doesn't need to be here." Exralnex pointed out.
"I will be a waiter here."
"I don't get it! Why does it matter about this nullifier!?" Axel yelled.
"Well, this will protect this from ever happening again! And besides, this was said by an NPC, so it's obviously true!"
Pablo poked his head out of the kitchen. "Senorita Exralnex! Chef shift!"
"Coming Pablo!" She tapped Jimmy, "Hey Jimmy, take care of those two dudes in the cloaks… and give them the taco or its curtains for you!"
"Um...Ah...Yes! Certainly, ahh, come this way sirs!"
ON EARTH…
"Mmm… good burger…" Roxas said. "That Burger King place is so much better than whatever kind of #$ McDonalds is serving."
Vexen was screwing with the Nobody Tracker.
"Vexen! No cell phone things at the table!"
"We're not even AT a table. We're in a car we stole from some idiot. I said jack a helicopter, but no… we had to go for the freaking Hummer! And anyways, why are we eating? We don't need food."
"We're eating because we can! And I felt a craving for a Whopper."
"Point…" Vexen sighed, "This isn't working! I'm not picking up anything!" He threw the tracker at the dashboard. "Stupid tracker!"
"Niiice… NOW how do we get everyone?" Roxas asked.
B-bb-bbb-bbbboooooop!
"Hey, it's showing something!" Vexen said.
"It's saying there's a Nobody across the country!"
"Planes."
ONE TRIP TO THE AIRPORT LATER…
"Vexen, the clerk says we can get a flight about… three days from now."
"3 #!#$ DAYS!!!!"
"Umm, yeah!" the clerk said. She was a teenager who wanted to be a pilot when she grew up.
"Hey… any other flights?"
"I could fly you!"
"WHAT!?!"
"I've taken all the courses… I know what to do in case of crashes… and I've won Ace Flyer in my academy!" She said.
Vexen leaned over to Roxas. "Remind me to get her Nobody."
Roxas nodded.
ONE PRAYER LATER…
"Okay… how'd you get this jet?" Roxas asked the girl. (We'll call her… Jessica.)
"Oh, well I'm not really supposed to be using this jet," Jessica admitted. Roxas smiled.
"I like your style," Roxas said. Jessica blushed.
"Umm, yeah, to start the plane, do this," Jessica pressed some buttons. "And this." The plane then started to move and then took of the ground without a single problem. Vexen was surprised.
"How old are you?" Vexen asked.
"Sixteen," Jessica replied.
"Go figure," Vexen whispered to Roxas. "Best pilot in the world happens to be a teenager." Roxas nodded.
"You're surprised?" Roxas replied. "Teenagers are often far more capable than battle hardened veterans." Jessica turned around.
"What are you whispering about? I'm not carrying criminal masterminds or anything right? Come to think of it your coats look familiar… Oh, you're just Kingdom Hearts cosplayers. Don't worry, I'll get you to your convention in time." Vexen snapped his fingers and Heartless surrounded Jessica. "Oh, you guys are for real. Crap." Heartless then mobbed her and her Nobody appeared out of nowhere.
"Thanks, I'm a Dancer," Jessica's nobody said sarcastically. "I would kill you guys if it wasn't for the fact I have to obey your orders. Why couldn't you make me member fourteen?"
"Actually you'll be XVI," Vexen said. "Pilot this plane and I'll make a Nobody up-grader or something." Jessica's nobody nodded and started piloting the plane.
"No, hold on… Meowzers is XVI so you would be XVII," Roxas said. "There is the problem of your name though, Caxisejs just lacks finesse." Vexen shook his head.
"I actually prefer Xissjace. It's better." Vexen said.
"You know Sejixcas has a certain ring to it… You know I've been angry that Xemnas didn't make me Arsox," Roxas said.
"Dude, I vehemently opposed that name. It sounds like a brand of laundry cleaner," Vexen said. Roxas glared at Vexen.
"So you're the reason that I'm not called Arsox… You know I wish that Xemnas had decided that your name was Xneev," Roxas said angrily.
"He actually considered that…" Vexen said.
"Have you guys decided on my name or not?" Jessica's nobody said.
"We're still thinking," Roxas said.
AT THE TACO PLACE…
"Oi! Pablo!" Exralnex yelled.
"Si?" Pablo replied.
"I'm thinking of hiring a new waiter."
"NO! Only I may!"
"Hire or I quit!"
"Ah!…Fine."
"Luxord, you are hired."
"Excellent."
WITH LUXORD…
"Hello. May I take your order?" Luxord was serving a bunch of Nintendo heroes.
"Haa!" Link yelled. He pointed to an item on the menu.
"Okay… how about you Mario?"
He pointed to a taco.
"Alright…" he scribbled it down on the pad. "Samus…"
She pointed to a burrito.
"And for you, Kirby?"
Kirby waved his hands over the entire menu. Luxord nodded and went back to the kitchen. "Wonder why they wouldn't say anything…"
Luxord walked into the kitchen to see that Exralnex and Pablo were in a giant yelling match over "creative control."
"I'm just saying that if I am the Legendary Cooking God or whatever, I think I would be able to create my own recipes!" Exralnex screamed. Pablo drew up to his full height (4' 11" poor man) and screamed back at Exralnex.
"WHY DON'T YOU GET IT!!! The Chef Prognosticus wrote that the Legendary Cooking Hero would only show up and by his/her presence the recipes would become magically better," Pablo yelled up at Exralnex.
"I made your recipes and their crap. Then I messed with a couple ingredients and BOOM we are now a five-star Mexican restaurant," Exralnex replied, infuriated. "Do you have any idea how uncommon that is?"
"You will do as the Prognosticus says or all of existence will explode!" Pablo shrieked.
"I really don't care, I actually don't exist in the first place so death of all worlds doesn't bother me. Oh, and I think the Prognosticus is actually a blank fancy looking book that you bought from Barnes and Noble in a fifty percent off sale," Exralnex replied. Pablo's eyes widened.
"You are jumping to conclusions," Pablo replied.
"Actually boss, it looks like you left the sticker on the back," a waiter replied. Pablo waved his hand dismissively.
"Ok, so the Prognositicus was a fake. WHO CARES!! I am still the head chef. I can fire you!" Pablo said.
"Actually Luxord used a system of gambling, blackmail and good old fashioned bribery to lure a bunch of waiters and chefs to my side. So if you fire me I'll just take my people and start a new better restaurant," Exralnex said. Instantly half the waiters and chef walked over to the other side and stood behind Exralnex and Luxord. Pablo's eyes narrowed.
"Where will you set up the restaurant. This world ain't big enough for the two of us." (Please forgive the author for the blatant Clint Eastwood rip-off.)
"Easy. I snap my fingers and a wall appears out of nowhere to divide the kitchens," Exralnex said confidently. Pablo snorted.
"As if," Pablo laughed. Exralnex snapped her fingers. Luxord then took the moment to freeze time.
"Hmmm... Gotta build a wall," Luxord said. He teleported away and then came back from Wal-Mart with a Build Your Own Wall Kit. After it was finished he unfroze time and turned to Exralnex. "What do you think?" Luxord asked. Exralnex nodded in approval.
"I like the solid titanium construction,"
"Best part is that on their side of the wall there is anti-Pablo graffiti," Luxord commented.
YOU GUYS REALLY DIDN'T THINK THAT WE FORGOT ABOUT AXEL, RIGHT…
"Well, that went well," Axel said to himself. He was in the middle of nowhere chained to a nuclear bomb with, surprisingly, Solid Snake.
"Dunno, could have gone better," Snake said. Axel tried to shift around and get free from the nuclear bomb.
"Ah well, I suppose I could be in the middle of a desert wearing nothing at all, have just been kicked out of a shuttle because my gun got stolen from me after I was fooled, again, by a woman who supposedly is my wife," Axel said. ( Ten awesome points if you get the reference.) Snake pulled out a knife.
"Luckily they seem to have left us with all our equipment," Snake said. Axel nodded and pulled a crowbar out of his bag of holding. Snake smiled. "Good choice."
"Thanks," Axel said. Then, suddenly by will of the cosmic author, the nuclear bomb started to beep.
"Countdown to detonation beginning, you only have ten seconds to live. Enjoy the remainder of your life!" said a voice from the bomb.
"!$," Snake swore. Axel then snapped his fingers and created a portal that sent Snake and him far away from the atomic bomb blast. Snake turned to Axel. "Why didn't you just do that in the first place?!?"
"I really wanted to deliver that line about being in the middle of nowhere with nothing on," Axel replied calmly.
"Then why don't you teleport us IN to the building!" Snake asked, furious.
"Because I need to have been there." Axel said.
They infiltrated the building through the cardboard box Axel found. All Snake had to do was keep his anger down.
"Why am I doing this?" Axel said.
"To get the nullifier! Duh! That's what you hired me for!"
"Rhetorical, and also a point of reference for readers."
"Readers?"
"Augh!" Axel went up to the fourth wall's shattering site and hired a contractor to get the wall rebuilt and it was done. Axel paid him.
Eventually they found the nullifier and it was guarded by… MySpace… And we aren't talking some central computer server. MySpace had mutated into some kind of demon that was feeding on the emotions of humanity.
"Here lies the blight of humanity," Snake commented.
But anyway, let's see how Roxas and Vexen are doing. Who knows? They could have been struck by an apocalypse. And we wouldn't have known…
ON EARTH…
"Okay, we're at D.C." Jessica's nobody said, bored.
"Many thanks, Non-Existent friend." Vexen said, smirking.
"One more time you call me friend, and I will kick your acade- Never mind."
"Oh. You said it… from now on, you have to get the Shades of Black to their gigs, and after TWENTY gigs without fail, I will upgrade." Vexen said. Roxas blinked.
"Dude, Luxord drives!" Roxas protested.
"Then spare him." Vexen remarked.
There was a moment of silence, and a tumble weed rolled past the plane. Liri came from nowhere and kicked the tumble weed.
"What's my torment?" Jessica's nobody said, genuinely hoping Demyx didn't get sugar highs.
"Um… the gigs are enough. But every time you gaffe, the number goes up by 3 gigs."
"Yes, Vexen." Jessica-nobody said.
Vexen and Roxas went off, and Roxas teleported Jessica-nobody to TWTNW.
"Who do you think it is?" Roxas asked.
"I'm hoping it isn't Xemnas. He'd find an excuse to cut my pay again." He sighed. "Let's never have a Halloween party again." Meanwhile, in a far corner of Christmas town, Jack Skellington was disappointed. Vexen pressed a couple buttons on the Nobody tracker and located the presence of a Nobody in building called the "Lincoln Memorial." After a short walk later Roxas and Vexen were in front of the giant statue of Abraham Lincoln.
"Whoa, the dude was tall," Roxas said. Vexen looked up in awe.
"Apparently there existed a race of giants on this planet, and they left many monuments of their greatness. I mean, how could they construct all these buildings without cheap, expendable Dusk labor?" Vexen said.
"Dude, you just totally jumped to conclusions," said a drawling voice from behind them. Vexen and Roxas turned around to see Xemnas and Xigbar were behind.
"About time. I was starting to worry that S.U.D.S. had destroyed you Roxas," Xemnas said.
"Sir, with all due respect, why didn't you two try to find us?" Vexen asked. Xemnas then launched into his story about what happened after S.U.D.S. destroyed him.
"Well… After S.U.D.S. unleashed that Alpha – Omega move on us I found myself in a strange desert landscape with bizarre Keyblades stuck in the ground. I amused myself for a while by chucking Keyblades at rocks before I remembered that I had my iPod. Then after my iPod batteries ran out I realized that I could teleport and warped my non-non-existent soul to the Taco Place. There I met up with Xigbar and we bribed the waiter to bring us back into non-existence. Then we used the Nobody Tracker and found that Vexen was at Earth. So we warped there but got distracted by a pentagon shaped building. So we broke in there and stole every file marked confidential. Then, just for the heck of it we installed a virus that'll crash Internet Explorer in roughly ten seconds. FYI this is why we use FireFox. Naturally this didn't sit well with the tour guide so he got the entire U.S. military chasing after us. In fact, they are still chasing us as we speak."
"Argh!!! While I was off killing S.U.D.S. and finding out where to go, you guys had all the fun of destroying worlds and stuff," Roxas said. Xigbar turned around.
"They have tanks this time," Xigbar said nervously. Xemnas smiled.
"In one of the confidential files there was a report about a parallel world to this one. Let's see if we can reach it," Xemnas said, while snapping his fingers. Portals of darkness appeared and they all ran through it into a world vastly different but much the same…
WITH AXEL…
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. I feel really cheated out of a boss fight," Axel said to Zexion. He had met Zexion at the Castle that Never Was. Zexion smirked.
"Tell me again what happened," Zexion said pulling out a notepad.
"Okay, so I was about to face off against the mutated form of MySpace with Solid Snake, when all of a sudden the demon freezes and a message appeared out of nowhere that said 'Attention denizens of the Earth planet. We officially are en route to taking over your planet. You have no chance to survive, make your time. Hugs and Kisses, Xemmy and Xiggy.' I mean, Xemnas has been interfering before but this just takes the cake," Axel finished. Zexion laughed.
"At least you managed to obtain the Nullifier. This will not only cancel the effect of any technological field, if anyone tries to attack us with magic it will nullify that too." Zexion said setting up the machine. "Where did Snake go?"
"He ran off and grabbed some launch code or disc or something, I dunno," Axel said. He hit a couple buttons on the Nullifier and then pushed it near the Organization's other protective devices. "Come on, Exralnex is at some restaurant and I said that I would help her once I got the Nullifier," Axel said. Zexion opened a portal and they ran through to the Taco Place.
AT THE TACO PLACE…
"Hey, you two. Wanna join team Red Rose?" A random waiter said.
"Is Lady Exralnex on team Red Rose?" Zexion asked.
"Umm… no…"
"Axel?"
Axel shot a jet of flame at him.
"AUGH!" He died shortly after.
They saw Luxord giving a speech. "When you order, be sure to order from those with either a white rose-" He flung a card at a Red Rose, hitting his neck, making him inable to breathe. He died. "-Or a Blue Orchid." He dealt cards to painful places for the other waiters. "-if you don't, you'll end up like Johnny over there." He pulled out another deck and chucked some cards at a Red Rose. "Comprende? Oh, hey Axel. C'mere," he said.
"I got the nullifier. Pain." Axel said.
"Mmhm…" Luxord said. "Well… get in the kitchen. We're trying to outcook another guy. Pablo…"
"Right. Why did Pablo and Exralnex break it up?"
"Good question." Luxord replied, "Don't ask her, just don't…"
"Okay…?" Axel said questioningly.
"She'll ignore you."
"Ah." They walked into the kitchen and Exralnex saw Axel.
"Hey! Zexion! Scrub dishes! Get to it!" she yelled while she sautéed some peppers.
"Yeah, real hearty welcome…" Zexion mumbled, rolling up his sleeves, trying to get rid of the ugly marks Kirby's mouth left.
"Uh, Axel! Waiter!"
"Yes…"
"Get to work! Wait, Axel…" she whispered things into his ear. Axel nodded and ran out the restaurant. "Chefs, Waiters, Dogs… Let's unleash the hounds of war on Pablo."
Axel revved up an SUV.
Exralnex ordered her troops to wait.
Axel drove to the back of the restaurant.
Wait…
"Sir Pablo! We're running out of waiters!"
"Doesn't matter… They'll die soon enough…"
CRASH!
Axel had drove an SUV through the back of the restaurant. The kitchen was a complete mess. There wasn't a hope that Pablo could cook anymore. Axel ran out of the car and grabbed a gun.
Pablo fumbled with his gun. "I…I…It d-d-doesn't-t-t matt-ter. W-we Smashed your st-stoves."
"I know a liar when I see one," Axel said, "So don't try anything funny, or I'll shoot you. Move the gun, you get shot. So these are my demands."
"One! You give 50 percent of your profits to Org. Corp®."
"Fine…"
"Two! You do ten pushups, then make me a batch of cookies."
He hurried to do these things. Axel shot him. "That was something funny."
He walked out of the kitchen. "We win. Pablo is dead. But I kinda liked the guy. Was gonna make me cookies."
They threw a party so big, the customers wondered when they were gonna get their food.
WITH XEMNAS…
"Roxas! E-mail someone at the restaurant. See how she's doing," Xemnas ordered.
"Sure, Superior." Roxas said. He sent an E-mail.
To: Axel
From: Roxas
Alternate Dimension
Hey, dude, we're in an alternate dimension to earth. We found vexen xigbar and xemnas.
We're coming up on a signal. Hope your fine… by the way, can you send me that one gameabout the miner? I'm really bored.
"Done, superior." Roxas said.
"Good…" He twiddled a dial or two. "Vexen, this thing isn't working…"
"Hit it on the ground." He replied.
Xemnas chucked it on the ground.
It showed a signal coming towards them.
"Always works." Vexen said.
"Huh." Xemnas said.
"Xemnas! It's Xaldin… I'm behind you," Xaldin said.
"Oh! Hey, man! Good to see you!" Roxas said.
"I must admit, it was an ordeal. See, I went to the Taco Place, got resurrected, then decided that I should probably start looking for you. I went in to all sorts of worlds, somehow found a time machine in a DeLorean and went to the beginning of time on a world called Ikilijil and killed the two males and females on it, thus making it a ghost world. Then, I decided to do something nice, so I went to a place in somewhere called America, and decided to give an idea to Buena Vista Studios- 'Go to Square Enix and talk about a game with Disney and Final Fantasy characters… Have really bad-$! guys in long black coats with weird hairstyles…' So then I heard that Exralnex was at the Taco Place, and THAT'S got to be a good omen… So I somehow read the Head Chefs mind, and I somehow took control over him… Like mind control… so he got to talk to Exralnex and found out that Axel was going to Renin, and so I Mind Control'd Snake. So he went to Renin and then just to make it seem realistic, he grabbed some codes to get into some place… It was fun. Then, some guy grabbed me, shot me out of a cannon, and it somehow shot me right into the alternate dimension, right behind you. Very weird."
"But yet oddly convenient…" Xemnas said. "You all know Organization saying 43…"
"When anything is oddly convenient that means that we're being played like a deck of cards." Everyone stated.
"Too right…" said an oddly familiar voice from behind them. The Organization turned around to see someone who had no idea that black armor was so eighteenth century.
"You idiot," Vexen said. "The only people who wear black armor in these days are Sith Lords and complete morons!"
"Actually there isn't much difference between the two…" Roxas mumbled. The man in black armor laughed hysterically.
"Look upon your doom!!" he said.
"Wow, that was so lame I could have sworn that A. Melvin didn't die…" Xigbar said. The black armored man took offence to that.
"A. Melvin… WAS MY BROTHER!!!" A. Melvin's brother said. He pulled off his helmet to reveal features that looked a bit like A. Melvin's. "I am the ruler of Thaer, parallel world to Earth. I am Galactose!!!" Vexen and Roxas snorted. Galactose looked at them. "What?"
"Ummmm… Galactose… It's a kind of… Well…" Vexen said, hardly keeping his face straight.
"It's a type of sugar!" Roxas said. The entire Organization pointed and laughed at Galactose, who had just turned bright pink.
"Wh-What! Inconceivable!" Galactose snarled. Vexen opened his laptop, went to Wikipedia and showed him.
"Look! Galactose is a monosaccharide carbohydrate, or a sugar," Vexen said. Galactose shook for a moment.
"That matters not for I-"
"Am rather delicious with Cheerios!" Xigbar finished. The Organization roared with laughter again. Galactose then snapped his fingers and warped them away.
IN THE PRISONS OF THAER….
"Hehe… he's actually pretty good." Xigbar said.
"Guys… there's a real problem…" Roxas said, trying to engulf his bars in light to get out.
"Yes, Roxas?" Xemnas asked, trying to do the same thing, only with darkness.
"I think you might have noticed, but he put up an anti-magic field…" Roxas said.
Xemnas pulled out his bag of holding, rummaged around with it and fumbled with a crowbar. He quickly grabbed it again, and tried to wrench the door off. He failed miserably.
"Anyone got an idea?" Xemnas asked.
"Well, I have my laptop," Roxas offered.
"A pack of gum!" Vexen said.
"A tub of potato chips," Xaldin observed.
"A bottle of water," Xigbar said.
"And a CD of Paris Hilton's greatest hits," Roxas threw in. Xigbar grabbed it and smashed it over his knee.
"We could have used that!" Xemnas said furiously.
"Whoa! No man, woman, child, dog, or cat deserves to listen to that kind of crap," Vexen snarled.
Roxas was typing an E-Mail while his Heartless were getting him a cup of java.
To: Axel
From: Roxas
HELP!!!
We've been thrown in prison! There's an anti magic field! HELP! Grab some defense mechanism or something, just get us out of here! Oh, good… There's my coffee.
"Sent mail," Roxas said.
"And when do you reckon we'll be freed!?" Vexen said scathingly.
Ten seconds later, Axel swooped in with the Nullifier, and then burned down the door.
"All yours mate!" Axel said.
"Cheers, chum," Xigbar said.
They continued through the base, which was surprisingly original. They had decided to split in to pairs. Xemnas and Roxas, Vexen and Axel, and Xigbar and Xaldin. We're going to stick with Vexen and Axel.
"Wow… This Galactose guy's got taste… I mean, his walls aren't blank, there are weird hands on the walls, and they're trying to reach out and apply a choke hold," Axel commented.
Vexen was being strangled by said hand. "Mother£$£!! piece of $!$$£!"
Axel burned the hands off.
"Sorry you had to see me like that…"
"You CAN'T BE sorry."
"$$& good point. Let's go."
Meanwhile, Xemnas and Roxas were working in perfect harmony. They were just walking down the halls, smashing guards and enemies.
"So, Roxas. Seen a good movie lately?" Xemnas asked, shooting a laser at a nearby hand.
"No, sir. There isn't a good movie theater in TWTNW," Roxas replied, chucking his keyblade at a guard.
They continued walking down the hall calmly.
"Wow… These guys are worse than Dusks," Roxas commented, skewering two guards at once with one stab.
"Actually, Dusks were voted third in an evil henchmen competition behind Zombies and Stormtroopers," Xemnas said coolly, cracking the head of a guard.
"Really! Stormtroopers! With their aim?" Roxas asked, making his Keyblades whirl around him, delivering stabby goodness to nearby hands.
"Disgusting, isn't it?" Xemnas asked.
At this very moment, Xigbar and Xaldin were deciding on exactly HOW the best way to break in to Galactose's vault would be.
"How about we impersonate guards?" Xigbar asked.
"No, I am vehemently opposed, and it would take too long. We should probably break it down with Gale-force winds!"
"No, no, no… you just want to show off. We shoot around the panel, then it'll fall off, and we can hack it!"
"We don't have that skill available," Xaldin pointed out.
"Ahh… but we don't need that skill! We have this!" Xigbar pulled out The Hackiwheeze 3000. It was a hacking device.
"It looks like a Gameboy swallowed a blender." Xaldin said doubtingly.
"Watch…" Xigbar grabbed the cords, yanked them out a bit, and then put the wires in to a slot on the blender part.
"Now what?" Xaldin asked, now genuinely intrigued.
"Now I have to play a game… Pac-Man. I suck at Pac-Man," Xigbar groaned.
"I don't," said Vexen, who had randomly appeared behind them. He then took the Hackiwheeze and started the Pac-Man game. Axel ran up to the group.
"Alright, I e-mailed Exralnex, Luxord and Zexion and they said that they would be along in a bit. So… who of the Organization do we still need to find?" Axel asked. At that moment Vexen finished the hacking and the vault door opened. The vault contained a lot of various items and Saix, Lexaeus, Marluxia, Demyx, Larxene and Braxgix.
"Wondered when you would show up," Braxgix said. Axel looked confused.
"Hold on, you were in the same room as Larxene and you didn't kill her? For attempting to take over the Organization and everything?" Axel asked Lexeaus. He shook his head.
"Well, uhhh…" Lexaeus started. Larxene took over.
"See, I was actually being possessed by the Demon," Larxene said.
"Yeah, sure, and I enjoy eating poison," Vexen said sarcastically.
"You do?" Lexeaus replied quizzically. Larxene glared at them.
"No, I'm serious! The demon possessed me!" Larxene said.
"I went with you to the Demonic World of Doom. I saw you kill everyone, OF YOUR OWN ACCORD!!!" Vexen yelled.
"Actually," Saix started. "If you remember correctly, it went like this. Those demons attacked us. You and I put up and amazing fight and then the head demon Crimson shot the bizarre beam at Larxene. Then she went psychopathic, more so than usual…"
"Yeah," Larxene said. Xaldin shrugged.
"Whatever, as long as you're on our side again," Xaldin said. "Come on troops, we have a sugary villain to kill!"
They ran through the freaky corridors to the throne room where they met up with Roxas and Xemnas.
"I see you found our lost comrades," Xemnas said. "Excellent work Xaldin."
"What? I did all the work," Vexen mumbled. Roxas looked at his watch.
"Exralnex said that she would be here by now," Roxas stated. Then a familiar looking SUV crashed through a wall. Exralnex, Zexion and Luxord clambered out.
"Not late are we?" Luxord asked. Roxas shook his head. "Excellent. We got the details. Let's get this straight… You really think that that plan will work?" Xemnas smirked.
"Oh yes it will…"
The entire Organization went through the Throne Room to the Command Room where they saw Galactose on the phone.
"What? Oh yes Mrs. Brain, I quite agree. Metroids would be most welcome for base defence. Now will you hold on there's some escaped prisoners I must attend to," Galactose said. He turned around and was a bit shocked by the sight of the entire Organization behind him. "What in Darko the Dark Gods name are doing here?!"
"We know our deities, Sugar-Dude," Xigbar snarled. He then smirked, saying, "Did you really think you caught us all?"
"Umm, well, yeah."
"16, dimwit. 16. Learn to count, Glucose," Roxas said like a failed teacher.
"Hey dude! My Cheerios have been dull. Could you sweeten them?" Xigbar asked.
"Just have Frosted Flakes, then we wouldn't have to bother him," Roxas suggested.
"Sugar, come fill this bowl with it."
"I could use some more sugar for my cookies," Saix said.
Galactose whimpered, "Augh! Screw you! I'll change my name, and then suck your souls out your ears!" He snapped his fingers and teleported to the name registry of Thaer.
The Organization exchanged hi-fives.
AT THE NAME REGISTRY…
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you already have two names. I can't give you another." The lady said. She was more interested in her Solitaire.
Xemnas pushed to the front, and said, "Ma'am, what is his other name?"
The woman opened a window. "Err… Gerard Way."
Roxas and Axel looked as shocked as if they had just been informed that Xaldin had taken Essence of Idiocy. "You are the lead singer for My Chemical Romance?"
Galactose/Gerard smiled and nodded.
"I am always pleased to meet fans," Galactose/Gerard said. Flames gathered around Axel's feet.
"You think that we are fans? You don't think that we despise every single $! bone in your mother&$! body! I HATE YOUR BAND! IF I HAD A CHOICE BETWEEN ENTERTAINING SORA WITH A TEA PARTY OR LISTENING TO YOUR $! I WOULD GO WITH THE MOTHER!()$& TEA PARTY!!!!!" Axel bellowed at Galactose. "YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! I HOPE THAT YOU INSULT CHUCK NORRIS AND THEN HE KILLS YOU, CAUSE NO ONE CAN INSULT CHUCK NORRIS!!!"
"Axel, Chuck Norris is not a god…" Xaldin said bored. Galactose took the pause to defend him.
"You know… I think I saw you once before… Didn't you march through out the entire state of Florida shooting every single MyChem CD you saw?" Galactose accused. Axel flared up again.
"$&! RIGHT I DID!!! I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY MEDAL!!!" Axel shouted. "YOU ARE A FRICKEN MURDERER!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE SLIT THEIR WRISTS TO YOUR MUSIC?!?!? HUH?!?!? ANSWER THE QUESTION $!&!!!"
"I think I know our plan B," Xaldin whispered to Xemnas.
"Give Axel free reign?" Xemnas replied. Xaldin nodded. Galactose and Axel had pulled out weapons and were on the verge of killing each other. Then Exralnex pressed a button on a remote and the Name Registry exploded. However, a crazed My Chemical Romance fan (I know they don't exist but let's just pretend) noticed that Gerard Way was under attack. So he pulled out a conveniently placed force field generator and saved his life. The fan then died of third degree burns. The Organization survived because Xaldin and Demyx had combined powers to create a shield. Xemnas sighed.
"Shame that plan didn't work… Alright, Axel, you have free reign over this mission," Xemnas said. Axel materialized his chakram and tossed them at Galactose but he teleported somewhere else.
"Blast, he got away," Axel said. Xemnas snapped his fingers and a dark portal materialized. Zexion looked sceptical.
"How do you know that this is right portal?" he asked. Xemnas shrugged.
"We're bad guys, we have an innate sense that tells us exactly where our enemy is," Xemnas explained.
ONE PORTAL TRIP LATER…
"Typical, makes his final stand in a lava land," Vexen looked around. The Organization was on the volcano planet of Mustafar, more commonly known as 'the place Vader got burned.' Galactose was in front of them, laughing manically.
"So you came, like moths to a flame," Galactose said. He stopped. "Hey that's not a bad rhyme… I'll put it in my next angsty song o' pain. But anyways, your days are numbered. For Mustafar will be your tombstone!" Everyone snorted. "Ah, you laugh now, but behold! I have brought… HOSTAGES!!!" Sora, Riku and Kairi appeared out of nowhere, caged in transparent spheres. Luxord laughed.
"What makes you think that we care about them?" Luxord said. "By all means, kill them!"
"See!!!! I told you that they wouldn't care… LET US GO!!" Sora said. Galactose shrugged.
"OK," Galactose said. The spheres disappeared. Galactose then took of running. Saix and Marluxia followed after him. The rest turned to Sora, Riku and Kairi.
"Exactly how are you still alive?" Roxas asked Sora.
"The guy resurrected us," Sora replied. Xaldin smiled, which is never a good thing.
"Well, I think some disciplinary action is required… We will keep Riku and Kairi alive for the heck of it but Sora… your little S.U.D.S. prank made us ticked off… You are going to die and there's nothing that you can do about it. Luxord, you have the honors," Xaldin said. Luxord materialized his cards and tossed them at Sora.
"NO!" Kairi jumped in front of Sora to save him. There was no point however, as the cards bounced off. Luxord snapped his fingers.
"Crap… I forget that you can't kill people with playing cards," Luxord said. Roxas did a really awesome looking move than finished with a running slice.
"Keyblades, on the other hand…" Roxas said. He turned around and saw that he had missed, and Kairi was the one on the floor dying.
"Whoa… we never really managed to kill someone important before now," Braxgix said. There was a stunned silence in the room. Sora was kneeling next to Kairi. Emotional music started to play in the background.
"No…… I won't let this happen… I can't let this happen…" Sora said. Tears were pouring from his eyes. Riku was in shock. Kairi smiled.
"Don't feel bad Sora," Kairi mumbled. Sora shook his head.
"No you can't die because… because… I love you!" Sora said. Kairi smiled, and then closed her eyes. Sora let out and anguished scream.
"Okay gimme a break," Xigbar said. The emotional music ended abruptly. "That was so cliché I swear that if it went any longer I might have puked, seriously." Sora turned around to Roxas.
"You killed her… You're me, so how could you?" Sora said. Roxas shrugged.
"Common theory is she got in the way. I was aiming for you," Roxas said. Sora's eyes narrowed. He made his Keyblade appear out of nowhere.
"I'll kill you," Sora said. Roxas smirked and made his Keyblades appear.
"You'll try."
They dueled each other for a long while, Roxas generally gaining on Sora, but Sora somehow distracted Roxas somehow, and he made Roxas back up.
"I have failed you Sora. I have failed you," Roxas cried.
"I should have known the Nobodies were plotting to take over!" Sora screamed.
"Pssh, no frickin' way…" Roxas straightened up, "Sora, Galactose/Gerard is evil! And his music SUCKS!"
"WHAT!? I like them!" Sora yelled. This surprised Roxas and Sora took the opportunity to push Roxas back. "From my point of view the Nobodies are evil!"
"NO FREAKING WAY!" Roxas bellowed, "If it took you that long to realize that then you are lost!"
"This is the end for you, my Nobody." Sora screeched.
"No, no, no! You're delivering your lines too… too… angstish…"
"You killed Kairi!"
"And I would kill you so you can go to Heaven." Roxas thought for a minute. "If even that."
WITH SAIX AND MARLUXIA…
They were dueling one at a time. Galactose took on Saix, then trapped Marluxia, and when Marluxia did break free, he had shoved Saix back in to his. But this time, Marluxia was fighting like the actual master of Castle Oblivion.
"Look, a ladybird." Marluxia said.
Galactose looked around, and Saix broke free.
Think Galactose was cracking. Be it muscle strain, boredom, or just the plain old difficulty, he was definitely going to fall when…
"When I was, a young boy my father, took me into the city to see a marching band
He said, "Son when you grow up, will you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned? (A/N: Please note that the author and co-author believe that MCR is THE single crappiest band on Earth next to Fall Out Boy. We got this off a lyrics site.) "" Galactose sang. There was a rushing of feet and a red faced Axel ran over.
He screamed, "NO YOU WON'T YOU MOTHER!££$ PIECE OF $! THAT BELONGS IN THE PROPER WASTE RECPTICLE!" He smiled at Saix and Marluxia.
"Sorry, couldn't think of anything better. Oh, wait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! Saix sings better than you." He ran off.
Saix beamed and went berserk on Galactose, while Marluxia called up a Specter.
"Win now!" Saix dared him.
"Can I make some calls?"
"No." They said in unison, zapping, shooting or somehow slaughtering Galactose. However, as we need him later, he didn't die.
"Augh! Wait, I'm not dead!" He yelled. He then ran like heck.
"He got away," Marluxia growled.
"Despicable," Saix spat.
BACK WITH SORA AND ROXAS…
If I cared enough to write out the sheer epicness of the duel between Roxas and Sora you all would die from the awesomeness. I'll try and describe.
Sora and Roxas dueled for a while in the base place. Then Roxas knocked Sora out a window. However, Sora somehow drove into Final Form and then fought Roxas. Roxas responded by jumping into the air and defying the freakin laws of gravity!!!! Sora then also flew into the air and the fought each other until Sora's drive bar ran out and gravity got angry that Roxas wasn't respecting the law. They conveniently fell onto a giant mattress.
Sora then swung his Keyblade blindly, trying desperately to hit Roxas. Roxas, however, was smart enough to get out of the way. Roxas then ran on to a pipe. Sora followed suit, but Roxas stuck his keyblade into the pipe, causing Sora to stumble, and fall on to a piece of molten lava. When Roxas saw that he was going to go over a fall, he laughed, until he realized that he was working his way forward, and then he jumped forward, grabbed on to the pipe, and pulled off some acrobatics that are the kind of things that only happen in movies and FMVs.
Roxas shoved him off again, this time jumping down after him, to drive his keyblade into him. Sora defended himself, got up and jumped on to another piece of molten lava. Roxas eventually kneed him in the… um… you know… and shoved him on to land. Sora got up extraordinarily fast, and went on the fiercest offence ever. Roxas then slipped out the way, shoved Sora to the ground and climbed a hill.
"It's over noob! I have the higher ground!" Roxas jeered. Sora's eyes were blazing with hatred.
"I don't care," Sora replied. Roxas was stunned.
"You idiot, the higher ground is everything! It not only added a plus five to my dexterity but all your attacks have a fifty percent chance of missing!" Roxas said. Sora leaped into the air and attempted to slash Roxas but ended up ramming into him. They both tumbled down the hill, until Roxas had the sense to stab his Keyblade in the ground to slow his fall. Sora did so later and his foot was grazing the lava. His shoes lit on fire and burned to nothingness.
"NOOOOO!!! Losing my shoes after losing Kairi… YOU ARE GOING TO DIE FOR THIS ROXAS!!" Sora screamed with rage. Roxas smirked.
"Yell louder, half the planet couldn't hear," Roxas wittily replied. He then kicked Sora and he relinquished his grip on the Keyblade and fell in the lava, which would have burned him to death if it wasn't for his Firaga Bangle, which kept him alive. However, the lava still carried him a long ways downstream.
A LONG WAYS DOWNSTREAM…
Sora crawled out of the lava burnt, angry and naked, for Firaga Bangles don't protect your clothes. Sora cursed the sky in anger. Then, Galactose walked down to Sora and the world became FMV like once more.
"Sora, do you feel anger, hatred and rage?" Galactose said. During the battle with Marluxia and Saix he had taken many scarring blows and his face was all disfigured. Sora nodded.
"I would do anything to kill the Organization and bring back Kairi," Sora said intensely. Galactose smiled.
"Your rage will bring you strength. The Nobodies don't have any feelings, they can't experience rage," Galactose said in a mentor-like way. Sora laughed.
"Ever fought Saix? Or Lexeaus?" Sora asked. Galactose smiled.
"What I mean is that natural emotion shall always triumph over synthetic feelings. That is why the Organization doesn't recognize the genius of my angsty songs o' doom," Galactose philosophized. Sora nodded. Galactose held out his hand. "Join me Sora, and we shall make all our dreams come to life! We shall end the reign of Nobodies and bring back feeling into the World that Never Was!"
Sora took the hand. Galactose pulled Sora up and gave him an awesomely bad$!& robe. Sora put it on. "Do I get a cool name?"
"You shall be," Galactose declared, "Lord Acerbus."
OVER DOWNSTREAM…
Meanwhile, Riku was completely unaware that his best friend had sworn allegiance to an evil mastermind. The Organization was just hanging out and waiting for Roxas to return so they let Riku do whatever he wanted as long as he didn't rebel. So he held a quick funeral for Kairi, polished his Keyblades, lost a game of cards to Luxord, and composed a symphony. He then got bored and decided to find out what his fate would be.
"So am I going back to the pit or what?" Riku asked Larxene.
"Dunno, ask Xaldin," Larxene said. Riku really didn't want to. He had been watching Xaldin, he had had a conversation with Xemnas and then warped away and had come back with Vexen's chemistry set. Riku nervously walked over to Xaldin.
"Uh, what are you going to do with me?" Riku asked nervously. Xaldin was overseeing Vexen who seemed to be making a potion of some sort.
"Well, we were thinking about that for a while, and we decided that the simplest plan would be to turn you into a dog," Xaldin said. Riku raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak but Vexen shoved a potion down his throat. Riku had a bizarre sensation of burning and then he was furry and had four legs. Funnily enough his fur was the same color as his hair.
"There were a million plans that you could have picked, why this one?" Riku said. Xaldin and Vexen cracked up laughing.
"You have no idea how funny it is to hear your voice coming from a Jack Russell Terrier," Vexen said while snickering. Xaldin straightened up.
"That was one of the reasons, also this way we don't have to feed fangirls. Best of all, you get to stick around and make dumb comments. Consider it your reward for not siding with Sora," Xaldin said. Riku opened his mouth but was interrupted by Roxas who had appeared behind him and picked him up.
"Awesome, we have a dog now!" Roxas said. Riku squirmed around.
"Leggo of me! This is disgraceful!" Riku barked. Roxas was amused.
"A dog that sounds a lot like Riku," Roxas mused. He turned to Xaldin. "I knocked Sora in the lava, he had a Firaga Bangle on but I bet he won't last long." Xaldin relayed the news to Xemnas who smiled.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the Organization," Xemnas started, "We did a full days work in these last few days. Let's go home."
Bonded: Liri, you have no idea how hard I have to work to keep you two off each other. So get the heck off him.
Drek: (Has a black eye)
Liri: (Has a bloody lip, nose, and black eye.)
Nobody Commander: Hey! I'm leaving.
Bonded: ...Well, there goes a lot of productivity.