It has been two long years since I have last updated. Really sorry that I let all my readers wait for such a long time. I just did not have the mood to write and with all my tests and exams, I could not come up with a good chapter! Hope you will like this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS

( ) author's note

' ' thoughts

" " speaking

Last chapter:

"We shall stop here." Giving me one last deep kiss, he got out of bed. "Breakfast will get cold," he said in a chiding voice.

I wanted to kill him for bring up my desires for him and just end it like that. I quickly got out of bed, my shoulders brushing past his past the hallway. I could hear his chuckles and I turned around indignantly. . .

(Sakura's POV)

I glared angrily and Syaoran and seeing his mouth curve in amusement did nothing but flared up my anger. How dare he toy with my emotions?

I stomped away angrily and was about leave that obnoxious guy behind when his husky voice breathe into my ear, "Slow down, my little vixen."

His arms were already wrapping around my waist, turning me around to face him. Our lips were only inches away from touching and I could meet them without much effort. However, my anger was not easily fused. Putting my hand on the square on his chest, I pushed him away, keeping him at arm's length.

His eyes flared and were almost slits when I turned to walk away from him once more. 'Good! Let's see who is the smart one now.'

I had not taken more than a few steps when his hand clamped down on mine. Pushing me against the wall, his amber eyes were dark with anger. "Don't you ever dare to walk away from me again."

"How dare you!" I raised my arm unconsciously. He grabbed my arm and pulled me forward, his lips on mine. The kiss was brutal and harsh, as though punishing me for what I had done. I struggled against him, refusing him entry to my mouth.

His lips suddenly became soft and move against my mouth sensually, promising me something even better if I gave in. With a cry of surrender, I wrapped my arms around him and parted my mouth. Our lips molded into one, his eyes smoldering with passion, his desire evident between his legs. I pressed my body against his hard form, giving him more entry to my mouth.

He broke off the kiss, pressing kisses down my neck. "If we don't stop now, breakfast will really get cold," he murmured in between kisses. "Not that I mind of course," turning his head towards my lips again. Before our lips could even make contact, an embarrassed cough was heard behind us.

I jumped, releasing my hands from Syaoran's back, my face hot with passion and embarrassment. Syaoran just casually put his hand around my waist and turned to address the servant.

"What is it, Wei?" Curse Syaoran for having control over his emotions so easily.

"Good Morning Master Syaoran. Breakfast served and ready," Wei replied with a bow, afraid to get into Syaoran's bad moods.

"We will be there." Dismissing the servant, Syaoran led me towards the dining hall.

I caught my reflection in a nearby mirror. No wonder Wei was red when he looked at me! My hair is totally messed up, my lips swollen and red and my eyes are dark with desire. I looked like a woman who just made love and loved every moment of it. I stole a glance at Syaoran and nearly wanted to murder him for looking so well groomed. Not even a single strand of hair out of his messy trademark hairstyle was out of place.

Seeing my irritated expression, Syaoran could only grin and kiss me lightly on the lips before leading me into the dining area.

After a delicious breakfast, we went to take a walk at the gardens. The view was so beautiful. There was a wide variety of flowers.

I bent down to smell the lovely irises near my feet and suddenly I was being carried.

"So that is the meaning of being swept off one's feet," Syaoran joked as he carried me beneath a sakura tree. "So do you feel overwhelmed?"

I could not reply him. I could only pretend to view the falling petals around us. How could I tell him that we can never be together? It is the same situation with Ryu. A sudden feeling of sadness swept over me. I can never be with the one I love. Even if I feel strongly for Syaoran, my profession will ruin us both.

"Can we go back? I suddenly don't feel so good," I fibbed, keeping my eyes on the flowers, tears threatening to spill out.

"Are you all right? Come let's go back to my room."

"No. Take me back." My voice sounded hoarse and strange to my ears.

"Back? Where is ba-" his voice trailed off as he realize where I was talking about, his eyes clouded with hurt and despair at my hidden meaning.

Unable to stand what was happening between us, I turned and walked back to the house. This time, tears rolled down my cheeks. I hastily wiped them away but they keep on falling, one by one.

The ride back was silent. Syaoran did not even speak a word, not even when he opened the car door for me. His face was devoid of expression as he drove.

Unable to stand the tense atmosphere between us, I gazed outside, watching the view pass me by in a blur. . .

(Syaoran's POV)

'Damn it! Damn everything to hell!' Cursing furiously inside my head, I concentrated on the road, trying my hardest not to look at Sakura. 'How can a perfect day go entirely so wrong?'

I was really very frustrated with Sakura. Can't she tell that I enjoy being with her? That the moment she is within arm's length that I want to ravish her until both of us become a quivering puddle?

I should have known that she was going to be trouble from the time I laid my eyes on her. Ryu is not going to be very happy when he finds out and even Eriol is pissed with me, all because of one girl. Not that it was not worth it.

I glanced at Sakura and my heart fell. There was so much hurt in her eyes. She turned her head and looked at me, her eyes a silent plead. We both know that all would end the moment she alighted, we would go on with our lives. It is the price I must pay for taking her away from Ryu.

Ryu, one of the best buddies I had in all my life and the only one beside Eriol that understands me. I had known him through out my entire singing career and we have been together through ups and downs. And soon our friendship will be tested.

The moment the brothel was in view, it took every single ounce of will power not to turn the car in another direction. If she had wanted to be with me, she would not return. The fact that she had requested to go back showed that our night together was another job for her. A meaningless job.

Brushing those thoughts aside, I thought about the night we had together. How her face flushed with joy at the flowers and how her body fitted perfectly to mine as we twirled and danced. How her eyes saddened as gazed at the sky filled with stars. How ridiculous and cute she appeared in my clothes and the way her eyes were shooting sparks when I teased her.

I stopped the car in front of the brothel and waited for Sakura to alight. This was goodbye for both of us.

Sakura just simply sat there, prolonging my agony. Just by being there, she could confuse my emotions and change my decision. The decision to wipe her completely off my heart once she left.

"Good bye, Syaoran. . ." Sakura whispered and kissed me lightly on my lips before alighting from my car.

The lingering feeling of her lips on mine was my undoing. I immediately dashed out of the car and ran to chase after her, shouting her name. . .

(Sakura's POV)

My heart felt like a heavy stone, weighing inside my chest as I slowly walked towards the brothel. I did not even once turn back, afraid that I would run towards him. This was goodbye for both of us.

"Sakura!" I whipped my head around in shock, my mouth wide in disbelief.

Syaoran was running towards me. My heart stopped beating. As much I did not want to do it, I had to, for the sake of Syaoran and myself. If only Syaoran did not come after me, it could have ended in the car. Now, I must end it.

Syaoran enveloped me in his arms. I could smell his husky scent. I was blinking back tears, knowing that Syaoran would hate me for life when I take his heart and shred it into pieces, not knowing that my heart was broken as well.

I stepped out of his embrace and stared at him coldly. His face registered shock as well as hurt. He tried reaching for me once more but I shrugged off his hands.

"Sakura. What is wrong?" his voice pleading. "Please come back with me. I promise that I will take care of you for the rest of your life and you would not have to work anymore."

I closed my eyes and silently prayed that I would be able to pull myself through this.

"Li. I can never be with you," I said coldly, masking my sorrows. "You were nothing more but a job. An assignment."

He staggered back as if hit by a blow. "I don't believe you. The things we did together were more than just a job. We shared a connection. I have fall-"

"Fallen for me? Do not kid yourself." I laughed, my throat constricted with tears. "We shared no more than a bed. Nothing more. Do you really believe that just after one night, I am yours? If so, you are no more than a kid."

Syaoran shook his head, his brown bangs covered his eyes. "I am willing to be a kid, if only I can have you with me. No matter what you say, my feelings for you will never change."

'Please forgive me,' I begged Syaoran silently. "I don't have any feelings for you. Not even once have my heart been moved by you. In fact, I never want to see you again."

He remained silent. His deep amber eyes locked with mine, as if trying to find the truth. I stayed unwavered while my heart was bleeding.

"Just tell me you don't love me. Tell me you don't love me and I will never again appear in front of you," his eyes pleading with me to say the truth.

'Don't make me do this. Please Lord.' "I had never loved you and will never love you."

My answer was like a deathblow to both of us. Neither of us spoke a word. The only sound around us was cars driving pass.

Without a word, Syaoran strolled off, started the engine and drove off without once looking back.

Tears I had held back so long, flowed freely down my cheeks. I had wanted to leave with him, to be able to rely on him without worries, to have a first taste of freedom ever since I joined the brothel.

The words Syaoran had said to me touched my heart. They kept resounding in my head even as I walked into the brothel. The words that will haut me forever. . .

(Syaoran's POV)

I drove pass every single traffic light, not caring whether is it red or green. Nothing matters to me anymore. I should have known better that it would half ended this way. Instead, I stupidly handed my heart over and got it broken in return.

'I had never loved you and will never love you.' These words were imprinted deeply in my mind. No matter how much I tried to forget it, Sakura's cold face kept repeating the very same words. The very same words that I had heard just four years ago. . .

I should have learnt from past experiences that women would only break your heart and give nothing else in return. They only go to you for two things, your looks as well as your money. Wasn't Sara like that?

The hurt I felt was burning into my gut and my eyes started tearing. Why can I never be with the one I love? Was I cursed from birth that what ever I did despised women?

I decided that I will concentrate wholeheartedly in my career. Women are just not worth my time anymore but of course, I would not turn into a monk. Just an occasional fling but I would never once again trust a women with my heart. . .

(Sakura's POV)

My eyes were swollen from crying as I laid down on my bed. Just the day before, we both were lying here in each others arms. I still had his clothes on. How am I suppose to return them when I just told him that I did not want to see him anymore?

I changed out of my clothes into a simple yukata. Hugging Syaoran's clothes, I sat on the bed, tears flowing once again. My nights will never be the same again.

I immediately straightened up when I heard the door knocking. Thankfully, I had the foresight to lock it.

"Coming!" I shouted as I quickly washed my face. I powdered my face to conceal any tell tale signs that I had been crying.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door. I did not know who I had been expecting but when I saw Maki at door, I felt a stab of disappointment.

'Stop lying to yourself. Syaoran is never coming back.' Tears formed once again and I hastily wiped away a lone tear that went down my cheek.

I bowed solemnly to Maki and stepped aside to let her in. "Good morning, Maki."

Maki did not say anything, a ugly purplish bruise was beginning to form on her right cheek. "Maki?"

My head snapped back as her hand landed on my cheek. I fell back, banging my hip against the table. The vase of roses from my outing fell to the floor, shattering into pieces while the roses laid brokenly on the floor.

"Do you know what trouble I got into when I allowed you to leave with that man?" Maki yelled, her hands clenched into fists. "Ryu practically wanted to kill me when he heard that you were not around."

I could only mumble an apology. "I promise that I will never leave here again. Maki, please forgive me."

"I will let you off this time, but there shall not be a next," with that, Maki walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Pressing my hand against my stinging cheek, I bent down to pick up a stray rose, while hot tears flowed once again. No matter how much I tried, tears kept coming out, as though to make up for the years I had not cried.

After a long while, my eyes felt swollen and my throat dry. I carried myself in front of the mirror and took a look at myself.

Red welts formed on my swollen cheeks. Tear marks on my face. My eyes were red and bloodshot from crying. I laughed at my hideous expression, my arms pounding at the mirror. My legs gave way and I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Why can't I live the way I want instead of being like a dressed up doll and leaving in a plastic world? Only with Syaoran I had finally found myself and lost myself altogether.

I pulled myself up from the floor and carried myself over to my bed. I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep and drifted off. It wasn't before long when the nightmares began. Even in dreams, I was not spared.

I thrashed around me wildly. It was only the breaking of glass that woke me up. I was sweating profusely, my breath laboured. My right hand was bleeding from where I knocked the lamp down. Trying to steady my breath, I stood up and walked to the toilet to wash my cut.

My eyes were dazed and lifeless. It had been a long while since I had one of those dreams. Splashing water on to my face, I tried to wash away traces of the dream.

I bandaged my hand and went to look for Maki. Knocking on her room door, I called out to her. She did not open her door but I knew she was in there. "Maki?"

"Emerald. Get ready. You have a customer in another hour. He is new but I know that you are able to persuade him to come back for more." Maki's voice was muffled through the door but I could still hear what she said. My heart grew heavy, however I knew I could not disobey. I owed my life to Maki and if repaying her would meant that it would stay this way, I would not do otherwise. I owe her far too much to be paid.

Walking slowly back to my room, I went to prepare myself for the night. I chose a plain white kimono and left my hair untied with only a flower pin in my hair. Crying had not done much damage to my face and I quickly applied a light coloured lipstick. Checking my reflection in the mirror, I looked like a virginal apparition.

Walking towards the hall, I met Maki. I could see approval in her eyes as she scanned my attire for flaws. When she found none, she lead me towards the room where my next customer was waiting . . .

TBC

A/N: I hoped you guys liked the chapter. I spent quite a long while writing it and I hope to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Reviews make me very happy so please do so!